"WARNING! WARNING! EXTRADIMENSIONAL BEING ON PREMISES!" Yeoknight blares as they point one of their robotic limbs at Axototl. "THREAT LEVEL OMEGA! PREPARING COUNTER DEFENSES!"
This Yeoman suddenly latches onto Indarius. "WE MUST COMBINE FORMS INTO YEORDINANCE TO DEFEAT THE THREAT!"
Hopefully this weird Transformers play would distract Axototl long enough for Andromeda and Statian to get themselves together and do something!
Samantha must have some kind of plan; I just don't understand it. If I can keep Axolotl from thinking about it though, maybe it will work.
Andromeda turns, attempting to strike a pose like something she'd seen on a Motown album cover when she was little. "Axolotl, don't you want to give your New Defenders an appropriate challenge to ensure they're up to spec? Why not uplift a failed Ciandra and raise the stakes?"
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With the force's... Andromeda when they are in conflict with another... With Andromeda's distraction, Axolotl's concentration wavered enough for Samantha's threads to open at the end with mini lasers to cut through her bindings.
She sits up, avoiding attempting to get out as she looks at the scene, Thinking, and sucking softly on the pacifier since she is distracted enough to have forgotten it is there.
Gui is caught by surprise and with eyebrows high he touches his chest. No tits.
Considering the changes some of the others were subjected to, Gui is a little disappointed he wasn't momentarily turned into a woman. He was a curious man and some itches were very hard to scratch and that seemed a lost opportunity. It was likely for the best, though. Likely.
Considering the similarities between his powers and Imagerie's, he had read a lot about the famous heroine, as well as watched many interviews, so he did his best to play his role.
Turning to Chroknight, he frowns. "Not again! Can you please use your powers to get some time to tink trough your accions? Every time you rush into accion it turns to shit!"
He then focus and tries to understand how Imagerie's powers should work, creating some minor illusions close to Axolotl, small enough not to cause him to overreact, but enough to test if he could affect him at all.
Seeing himself glad in the garb of Foray (one of the cooler members of the Alliance, cause the swords. duh.), Archie stands solemnly and nods to his allies.
Putting on his best Mr. Miyagi voice, "I am Foray. I will teach you the ancient art of... KARATE... with swords. Because... I use swords."
He then beams a wide smile to everyone. Then does a sick jump onto the table, he draws his two swords.
"Hiyaaa! Spirit! Faith! The two edges of life, dancing on the razors edge, like all of life. But we are the most adept dancers of all, and in order to fully master the dancing of... on the blade... you must train!"
With the swords in either hand, Phalanx swings the blade around in a cyclone of blades, hoping to impress all.
Yet as he tends to, Archie wasn't really paying attention to whatever else his teammates were doing.
________________
In the crowd, remained all of Archie's dupes, his Village People, his Village Phalanx if you will.
At the time of real Archie's idiotic display of swordsmanship, his Village Phalanx goes on a coordinated counterattack.
Time for an encore!!! They shout before resuming the chant.
Y.M.C.A. Y.M.C.A. Y.M.C.A.
As the shouting resumes, they rush the table, all thirty of the Village Phalanx. They make for Aquarelle and Statian, looking to get them out of harms way. The horde attempts to drag them to safety and conceal them in the Village Phalanx!
Samantha watches the scene above, trying to deduce what the diminutive reality shaper is after... other than attention, and how they can use it against it. That is she was before the infant-ly attired red head it plucked from her carriage by singing oddly attired Phalanx clones.
Having gone from a toga to a yellow bird-hero-outfit in a matter of seconds, the slightly vexed(?) or peeved(?) winged heroine glances to Axolotl and then says quietly, "What lesson are you trying to teach, trickster god?"
Since she knows almost nothing about Whippoorwill, Empyrean doesn't really know how to play the part.
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Despite his confusion at the sudden change in scenery and his own cosmetic alterations, Indarius' own experience as a hero in Halcyon City has him adapting to the bizarre situation.
Aquarelle similarly adapts, and though he works through the relief disappointment of not being physically altered into Imagerie, he is able to fall into the role enough that he gets some of her powers! The Alliance member is an empath, and he gets a taste of that as he can sense the waves of fear and anxiety emanating from the students around him like an invisible glow or mysterious scent that he picks up in his mind instead of his physical senses.
Aquarelle's surprise emotion powers are suddenly put to the test when Chroknight fails spectacularly to evoke Yeoman, talking like some bizarre caricature of a robot and suggesting that they merge with Indarius. As he berates Chroknight, he feels a surge of his copied power hit the armored hero!
Axolotl's face starts to heat up, but just then Phalanx tries his own imitation of the combat master Foray and utterly fails to evoke the stoic warrior by being way too flamboyant. "No!! You're getting it wrong! You'd be more convincing playing the fearless fighter like a coward!" Phalanx suddenly feels a pall of dread fall upon his chest!
Empyrean, unfamiliar with the winged heroine that is Whippoorwill, tries to get to the point of the whole exercise. Similarly, Andromeda calls out from her spotlight, suggesting a course of action to Axolotl.
The distractions allow Samantha to slip from the baby carriage confinement with assistance from Phalanx's sudden stage rush by his dupes! They pour onto the stage singing the Village People, giving Samantha enough cover to slide off the stage beneath Axolotl's notice!
However, the Omniversal being is not amused by the constant interruptions. "Geez!! It's like herding cats with you kids!" he shouts in frustration. With a wave of his hand all of Phalanx's dupes turn into cats that yowl and streak off in random directions away from the stage!
Axolotl pops his knuckles like a stage magician as he floats back in front of the assembled heroes. "With that out of the way, let's see about the game, shall we? This is a school, so I suppose it should be educational in some way. And did I hear a request for some villains to truly put you to the test? Sounds good! So gather 'round, kiddies, for AnysimilaritiestorealgameshowsispurelyunintentionalcopyrightAxolotlallright sreserved."
He claps his hands together and the stage rearranges itself into a game show stage with the "Alliance heroes" standing behind podiums next to a giant wheel with categories surrounding the rim and random numbers on the spokes. Andromeda, still in her sequined gown, is standing next to the wheel with her hands on her hips and a smile plastered on her face.
Axolotl is now dressed in a white sparkling jacket as the host of the game show. "Good evening, larynxes and germophobes! Tonight, we've got... well, stand-ins of your greatest heroes to see if they're smarter than some of the worst villains of Halcyon City! And who are those villains, you might ask?"
A new set of spotlights shine on a row of beings also situated behind podiums. "Chicle! Ballista! Eclipse! Terrier! Bazinga! And Grimoire!"
The students of Daedalus look across the colorful wheel to see the costumed personas of Ms. Vallejo, Ms. Yamada, Ms. Ascher, Ms. Foster, Mr. Hopkins, and Mr. Mathers -- their teachers!
"First question: How many boards could an alien hoard, if the Alien Horde got bored?"
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"Oh, I've heard this one before, but it was 'how many angels can dance on the head of a pin?'"
"Ack!" Yeoknight winces at Aquagerie's empathic burst. "Look, Yeoman might be a staple but I always played with their action figure with my Transformers..."
They ponder trying to use their powers to slip out of this. Time travel versus reality bending seemed like a bad matchup, but they might as well attempt to change things around. Actually, that might be a good idea for this 'game'.
"Boards, like...what kind of boards? And does this Horde have a fleet of ships to store them on?" They look to their teammates for assistance.
|
Indordnance pushes Chroman away at the table, "That's not we don't when have you ever seen us do anything like that except in comics, you know those are fake."
Then they are all at the Wheel of Feuding Jeopardy being asked about aliens and boards. Looking down through the line of the 'Alliance' members he raises a more metallic finger. "I believe I can solve this quandry given that I am from beyond already."
He looks down and slaps the buzzer, odd that everyone at the table has one but hey it's an original gameshow.
Leaning to the mic he speaks, "What is 42."
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Imagerelle doesn't really get Inordinance's answer. "I guess it depends on how many aliens boarded with boards and how many were on board and bored when deir board got bored by de border boar."
"Hey I like the wheel of fortune" Archie says before he can stop himself.
The question confuses him immensely, and the answers of his teammates make little sense. Until Indarius mentions the catch-all number.
"That's right Steve Harvey, we'll go with 'what is 42.' "
Suddenly, Andromeda is calm. She knows game shows; game shows have rules; they don't change from when you were little, even if you did.
I'm a Vanna. That means I'm the one who shows correct answers. She stares at the teachers, looking more villainous than usual in their actual costumes. No. I'll trust the kids. No Finals in there anyways.
She beams, walking over to a sufficiently large empty space where floating answers could appear. With a nod and another smile she gestures to where Ordnance's correct answer will materialize. It is a good thing I have been smiling so much. The pain could be distracting if I was not used to it.
She turns her smile on Axolotl, allowing her eyes to follow it. He endocrine system sends another jolt of chemicals through her body at the sight of the Red, all but begging her to crush him. Instead, she studies him. Who is his audience today? Is he the only one he really cares about?
Samantha had been getting ready for bed, so she did not have her tablet. While her fingers itched to type as she thinks, she actually didn't need it for tasks like this. Her brain was faster and held more data than any handheld device, and probably most super computer with data farms.
She is reasonable sure beating the villain teachers in the game will make the entity leave, but how to do so meant how knowing how to game this game. So she gathers every bit of data she has stored locally on game shows. Thankfully Samantha had a run at watching them due to someone else she knew being into them (Sam did not except for a minor study of statistical probability of winning such games, which was abandoned once she determined it was eschewed by show runner to produce greater audiences).
Axolotl floats in front of Johnny who seems unsure. "So what'll it be Kid Stalwart? A couple votes for 42, some worthless questions, and whatever Imagerie Junior said."
"Um, I guess we'll go with 42," he says, deciding not to offer his own number and following the instincts of his teammates.
"EEERRRT!!! Sorry! The correct answer is one million, four hundred seventy-three thousand, eight hundred ninety-nine. Sheesh! It was obvious!" Axolotl turns to the opposition. "Would the villains like to steal? Who am I kidding? Of course they would!! They're villains after all!" He snaps his fingers and dozens of bags with dollar signs on them drop from the sky, landing in heaps around the teachers.
The bags scatter with a telekinetic wave from Ms. Ascher, sending dollar bills fluttering in the air. The teachers appear to struggle at their podiums as if they're rooted to the spot. Ms. Vallejo again tries to talk to Axolotl. "Our answer is five, so technically they're closest without going over."
Axy's jaw drops to the floor at the teachers giving up their win. "That-- but you're-- Ah, lulling them into a false sense of confidence, I see. Pretty sneaky, sis." He waves his hand and the money disappears. "One-zero. Though I suppose there should be a penalty for getting it wrong." He snaps his fingers and Terrier disappears from her spot! At the same time, a fur stole appears around Andromeda's shoulders eliciting gasps from the audience!
"The heroes remain in control of the board! Pick a category! Spin the Wheel! Name the price of..." A drumroll sounds as a sleek, futuristic-looking vehicle appears next to Andromeda in a new spotlight, rotating slowly on a dais. "... a brand-new car! Deluxe-edition Gortellian A-Y Scramble-thrust Pod! In Xavorian mint-creds, of course."
Meanwhile, the categories flash as, CATCH PHRASES, MONOLOGUES, HERO SANDWICHES, DIMENSIONS, and POTPORRI.
Which do you choose?
Watching Axolotl as the eye-candy of the game show, Andromeda gets the sense that the omnipotent being is layering more and more complexity on his game to make it harder for the players to figure out a way to beat him. Further, pitting the heroes against their teachers is a further distraction from the real path to victory.
The randomness of the game's elements and the impossibly arbitrary questions initially frustrate Samantha as she tries to figure out a key to winning the game. The further it progresses, the more she wonders if there truly is a way to win except to beat the teachers and force them to incur the horrible penalties. Before despair hits her, she notices something on the Wheel -- the tiniest sliver of a section of the Wheel that is colored like the jackpot from the original show. Only, it's so small that it is statistically improbable to land on it with one spin. Without some way to tilt the odds, it could take thousands of spins for the jackpot to come up!
Samantha tracks everything that is going on, letting it swirl through all the algorithms until she decided on the best way to take care of a one single flaw she can find in the situation.
Quickly she has several of her threads connect and produce a minor magnetic field which pulls just slightly at Andromeda's sheath just a little, making the gameshow girl look over at the redhead in a onesie.
Once Samantha has her eyes caught, other threads draw with plasma in the air a mathematical formula to calculate force to produce acceleration in a circular object (like a Wheel) to make something land on a particular tile. The variables are then replaced with values.
Samantha nods to her teammate, expecting the intervening force to know how to exactly produce the amount of force needed.
Andromeda shudders in horror as the fur settles onto her shoulders. For a moment her other thoughts are gone, no plans, no caution of a foe that cannot be overpowered. She wants to attack. Then Samantha gets her attention.
The plan was good. The communication was efficient, and if you trusted the source, the prescription was clear.
Andromeda closes a door within herself, locks away her objections, forces herself to remember the times when she was willingly Sam's weapon. I can be her tool; the plan is good; it is necessary. But I can't do what she needs anymore.
Above her beaming smile, Andromeda's eyes search the surroundings. Axolotl didn't take the bait and give me Ciandra's control. The tin can's own control can't be trusted; without the Governess in their suit they probably couldn't make me young enough to matter...
Something had killed her smile; she replaces it, tightening her eyes as she looks away from her team to the adults and the fluttering bills that still occlude them.
Oh.
She forces herself not to look, trying instead to make her thoughts easier to read, to quell the static the others complained about in psionics class. "Professor Wolfe-Ascher, I am trying to show you my thoughts. I need you to borrow my mind."
A tense moment passes as Johnny looks to his "team" of Alliance-styled heroes for a clear sign of what choice to take. He searches their eyes briefly without success, then speaks into the microphone in front of him. "We'll go with Catch Phrases."
"All right! For a chance to stay in the lead, finish this famous catch phrase from an old pal of mine, Praetorian! 'Here I come to save the...'"
Johnny blinks at the question, then turns to his team!
What do you do?
Andromeda recalls that Professor Wolfe-Ascher's classes had always been split between the tps and the tks, with the exploration of the mindscapes and psionic spheres reserved for the former. So she'd never truly touched Eclipse's mind before now.
It's not pleasant.
Distant screaming and vaguely robotic echoes reverberating inside Andromeda's skull announce the presence of her psionics teacher. A pulse of understanding tells her that Eclipse grasps the plan. "This will be no easy feat under the best of circumstances, but to link while avoiding Axolotl's notice? You will have to be very..." A flash of awareness passes across them like an ominous shadow. "... still."
Past scars and buried traumas of the invading psychic presence find τ-34's own and turn her mind into a living nightmare!
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She'd finally done it. Lingering endorphins tingled through her body along with a soreness, an ache that didn't seem to match the exertions she remembered. It hadn't been bad for a first time; the blood had surprised her, but there hadn't been that much in the end. It would get better, easier like everyone said, even if he had been just some dirtbag instead of someone special. Maybe it was easier that she didn't know his real name; the name he'd been giving out at the bar was almost certainly a fake. Maybe it didn't matter.
He was dead anyways.
The Smiler would let her father live, again...
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Yeoknight speaks up. "Adjusting for outliers, the most common accepted ends to that phrase would be 'day', 'world', 'city', 'universe', 'people of Halcyon up to 15% on their car insurance', or 'whales'. Based on logical conclusion, I can infer with 92% accuracy that 'day' would make the most sense."
They look at Johnny. "Do not select 'whales' or 'insurance', because those have the lowest odds."
Johnny snorts at the insurance suggestion, glances at Axolotl, then back to the team. "Okay, fine. I'm going to go with 'day.'"
The cosmically-powerful game show host shakes his head solemnly. "Sorry pal, but the correct answer was, 'city!' 'Here I come to save the city.' I also would have accepted, 'Here I come to save that nosy reporter who keeps getting into trouble trying to scoop Channel Six!'"
Axolotl cackles, spinning into the air as motes of his power spray outwards. "Punishment time! Let's raise the stakes!" The floor underneath the "Alliance" falls away, leaving them on their seats suspended over a pit! Growls echo up from the space below them, drawing their attention to panther-form Ne'veah and a fully wolfed-out Carlos snarling and snapping at their feet! "And who will be the unlucky contestant?"
The seat under Johnny vanishes, but he uses his natural flight to not fall. Axy gives him an annoyed look and makes a scissor motion with his fingers. Instantly, Johnny drops down into the pit with Ne'veah and Carlos who viciously pounce!
Axolotl ignores the sounds of fighting coming from the pit as he turns to the teachers. "Okay, villains! Pick your category, or you can chose what's behind Door Number Two!"
"Dammit! Stop this!" Ms. Vallejo shouts. "You've had your fun, you should put everyone back and go."
"But you haven't finished the game! We have to have a winner! The Heroes are up, three Siznars to one. You can't give up now! You call yourselves villains?"
"We don't, but fine. What's behind the door?" Ms. Yamada asks.
A section of the stage opens up, revealing a silver cylinder with a variety of wires and nodes. "It's your very own thermonuclear bomb! Threaten the city for fun and profit! Just what every villain needs!" Axolotl announces with delight!
Even with a hostess overlay, Andromeda still teeters on her imposed heels as she rushes over to peer down into Johnny's pit. Remembering that she has to maintain some aspect of her role, she plasters a smile back on her face and gestures broadly at them all, slamming force down into the pit and trying to stop the fur from flying and separate the bestial heroes from her... kisser? Her kiss-ee? Her Johnny?
But her focus isn't where it should be..
"I think even you would not callously endanger the lives of everyone within the effective radius of this weapon, Axototl," Yeoknight says. "Logically, you would only make such threats so you may continue to have your fun. But the party must have an end, or it will wear everything down with time."
They look to Sam briefly, feeling particularly guilty, before returning their gaze to the reality bending individual. "I do not consent to this program any longer. I will be taking that."
Yeoknight blurs, their hands suddenly on the bomb. Uranium takes at least a bazillion years to decay into lead. Got to get rid of the igniter!
Slowing down time around them, they still work as fast as possible to locate the triggering mechanism and break it apart. Leaving themself out in the open for Axototl's reprise. At least the heat would be off their friends.
"Whoops, looks like someone broke your toy nuke. Sorry, I'm very clumsy." They taunt Axototl, hoping there's nothing worse they can do than turn them into a boombox.
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Samantha's green eyes blink slowly as Chroknight looks at her, making her head tilt slightly. Anger still simmers in the muffled waters of her emotions, but that is not something to think about right now.
She still needs Andromeda to do what only she can do, and she is distracted again. Sighing she tries to distract the reality bending creature from her... from Chroknight.
"Statistically nuclear weapons is the most used significant threat that super villains have used since world war II." Samantha calls out, then, after listening for a moment to her matrix, clarifies "Meaning it is worn, tired, boring." her matrix was still suggesting possible adjectives but three seemed enough to inform.
Andromeda feels her telekinesis reined in by the psychic presence currently invading her thoughts. "What are you doing? Johnny can take care of himself! You need to stay right there and look unobtrusive for this plan to work!" Eclipse hisses in her mind.
"Yeoknight" meanwhile responds to the appearance of a nuclear bomb by rushing forward to render it harmless, risking the continued ire of Axolotl! After dismantling the ignition mechanism, they brazenly taunt the Omniversal being!
The impish face turns bright red with anger. "Yeoman's just an outdated old toy. It's about time the clumsy bot broke for good." Yeoknight sees their robotic limbs cake with rust, and feels their body stiffen! Pieces start to fall off, and it takes all their will to hold themself together!
Samantha speaks up, striking at Axolotl's weak point -- his flair for the dramatic. Axy blinks several times, staring at Samantha. "What?!? No! It's a classic! Villains love nukes! They're always... Oh. All right you have a point." He stomps his feet cartoonishly for a few moments, then snaps his fingers. Samantha suddenly finds herself on the stage, a old-style typrwriter on a stand in front of her. Axolotl is dressed like a movie director, holding a script.
"Talk to me baby! Talk to me! What's hip! What's the bees' knees? What's rad? What should the villains get that'll make this the most exciting game show of all time?"
"Stop it! Just...STOP!"
And to their horror, they felt the fabric of time break a stitch. Something had just changed trying to prevent their own decay, something they couldn't sew back up. Whatever it was, they couldn't yet know. But they had a feeling it could only be something terrible.
At least they hadn't fallen apart, despite the rust. They groan, struggling to stay upright. Stepping towards Sam.
"Leave her alone...she's not your plaything..."
While Samantha appreciates no longer being dressed as a baby, the tightness of her pencil skirt she is now in coupled with height of the heels makes her question marking this as an improvement.
Her gaze narrows on the still dithering Andromeda, amplified by the black rimmed fifties style glasses she is now wearing. "Current trends mark the worst 'attacks' performed on a public figure is something referred to as 'cancelling'" Samantha presses a key like it is a poisonous snake, the antiquation of the device is almost harmful. "Twisting a statement made or a long past mistake into a 'core belief' of person to the point that the very public they defend or was adored by turns on them, destroying their life and eroding their will to continue to the point their mental health is a husk of their former shining example, to the point that their name becomes a near curse word."
Samantha types slowly attempting to get used to the contact resistance of the keys "For example, if a hero known for her dedication to a singular focus on the Good, was to become distracted by a pretty boy to the point they allowed others to be harmed, one could use that to them." she sent a sharp glare at the game show girl at the edge of the pit.
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Andromeda freezes, a sudden smell of burning hair betraying her emotions more clearly than her face.
With a smile newly plastered to her complaining face she totters back to await the villain's turn. "Well?" she urged brightly.
Internally however, Andromeda pouts, unprepared for the degree to which glasses have sharpened Samantha's stare.. It's not cause he's pretty, if he's even pretty...
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Chroknight's armor screams warnings into Chloe's ears as she puts her powers to the test to avoid disintegrating under Axolotl's influence. His words somehow caused the Janus to feel the weight of Yeoman's actual age -- nearly a century if she remembers her history. Trying to counter the reality warp with her temporal powers strains the paradox-preventing circuitry of her armor! The timestream twists and distorts around her as she sees more and more afterimages of Chroknight like a funhouse mirror! Dozens, then hundreds, images layered upon themselves at first with slight variations start looking more and more wild and varied! She sees some crumble to dust while others reverse backwards to nothingness! Then her vision blurs as the images become too much to process!
Chroknight manages a scream before the paradox collapses on itself, perhaps aided by the presence of Axolotl. Sensation comes rushing back into their limbs, once again made of flesh and bone and only clad in the metallic components of their armor. Then their vision returns, and to her relief, Chloe only sees one Chroknight instead of hundreds.
Then realization sinks in that she's seeing another Chroknight!
* * *
To those looking from the outside, they see Yeoknight try to hold it together as they start rusting over! Time stutters around them, speeding up and slowing down, then blurring as yellowish energy crackles in a localized sphere around them! It flashes bright once, then fades away in anticlimactic fashion. Only, there are two Chroknights where there once was one!
Axolotl doesn't give the strange temporal paradox a scrap of his attention as he listens to Samantha explain the cancellation of a hero while throwing a veiled message to Andromeda. He doesn't seem to pick up on the message, but neither does he seem impressed with her idea. "Cancel them? A show wants to avoid cancellation! Gimme something else! Something exciting!"
With a petulant huff, he leaves Samantha at her typewriter and turns to the villains. "You still have control. What's your choice?"
Ms. Yamada and Ms. Vallejo are speechless, but Mr. Hopkins leans towards his microphone. "We'll try 'Dimensions'."
"Excellent!" Axy chirps, perking up. "Name this dimension!" He snaps his finger and Bazinga disappears for a handful of seconds.
When he returns, he is hugging himself and shivering. "Wh-wh-was th-th-that... Jotunheim?"
Axolotl grins wickedly. "Yes, that was, but I was asking the name of this dimension! Trick question! Ha ha ha! Now! Back to the heroes who-- looks like their numbers are growing. >tsk< You temporal beings and your linear chronological experiences. You should know better than to step out of your lane.
"Anyway, pick a category!"
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Imagerelle has been silent for a while, just watching, taking in everything around him, every detail. Imagerie's power set was somewhat distinct from his own and he had had no time to practice, but in essence, a trickster was still a trickster... even if he doubted Imagerie would think about herself that way.
His head hurting, he tries to duplicate the whole stage and show inside Axolotl's own head. It was a fool plan doomed to failure, because not in his most baked state of mind of smoking the devil's lettuce he'd be able to duplicate Axolotl's chaos, but if he could buy them at least a couple seconds...
"Hero Sandwiches." He answers, choosing the category.
It's a risky gamble, trying to fool the trickster by creating a hallucination of the game show inside Axolotl's own mind. Maybe it's the altered state of Gui's mind, or maybe it's because part of Axy's own reality bending has given him a boost, but he manages to pull it off!
The rest of the contestants get a momentary break from the game show while they see the mental projection of the interaction between Imagerelle and Axolotl!
Axy produces a small card that he reads off. "For the prize of your very own set of Tupperware containers, Peter Porker the Spider-Ham, the Condiment King, the Breadmaster, and the Confectionist all walk into a deli. What sandwich do they order?"
Chroknight was going to not think about the horrible implications about what they'd seen for the sake of their sanity. They were also going to not think about the implications of a temporal duplicate being there with them in the current moment.
"We can deal with existentialism later. Right now we should maybe focus on keeping this reality bending psychopath from causing more chaos," They tell them. "So if you are an evil universe counterpart, can we hold off on the inevitable clash until the immediate threat to both of us is gone?"
The new Chroknight stands up and dusts themself off. "I'm the evil counterpart now? That's rich, you little punk. You got lucky I was so close to tie off your folding timeline stunt before you really made things worse. One more crime to add to your list. So give up the cryo-rejuvenator you stole. Now."
"Though I am not terribly familiar with the dramatic cadence of costumed hero stories, I suspect that the next step is a battle between duplicates over a misunderstanding..." says Empyrean with a frown.
"But those always end in a team-up, don't they?"
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Indordnance had been sitting quietly for the vast majority of the run time for the game so far. Caught in a state between confusion at the absurd nature of these non-questions who's purpose seems to be just to waste time so that Axolotl can hear the sound of their own voice. And also trying to make sense of anything happening in the current situation, including but not likited to getting a sense of how much of his powers were still his and how much was Ordanance.
Finally with a robotic sigh at the floundering of Andromeda turned stage maid, Chroknight turned Yeoman, turned jukebox, turned toaster, turned duplicate all born of impatience, and of Samantha being morphed into some courtroom secretary. With Johnny in the pit and teachers being turned into pelts it was all coming to a head of sorts. He calmly raised a hand.
"I do not wish to submit an answer, I shall leave that for my allies to attempt and inevitably fail. This game seems rigged simply to keep going until you get what you want or get bored of coming up with fitting punishments for failing to correctly answer your nonsensical questions whom's actual answer is up to your whim and whatever your mind deems the answer to be in the exact moment. Short of a mindreader we will be unable to interpret the answers, so this gameshow will remain rather droll and unamusing for all spectators and participants save yourself."
There is a semi-mechanical click as he sets his hand on the table, "So what do you really seek from all of this Axolotl? Do you seek entertainment, a fight, to annoy, or perhaps you seek someone to listen to your ravings and speak your mind so that you aren't alone?"
Imagerelle frowns a bit from the effort, trying to incorporate Inordnance's words to the phantasmal projection in Axolotl's mind.
He counts on his fingers as he goes. "Ham, mustard, bread... JAM! Dat is e Monte Cristo!" Or whatever, if "they" is referring specifically to one of those four that decided for a different pronoun.
"One, I don't know that I was folding the timeline, I try not to mess with that! Two, I've been dealing with a Looney Tunes reality bender for the past hour, so I don't have a cryo-recombinator or whatever the hell that is!"
They're not entirely certain if this Chroknight is the same face under the mask, but it's aggravating they're picking a fight now instead of uniting. "Angel Eyes is right about a team-up, so please, can't we sort this out later? Come on, get the stick out of your ass and let's beat that guy with it!"
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Tapping into Chroknight's helmet via an absorbed hyper-spectrum signal caster Inordnance explains to both Chroknights in sub-vocalization mode, unable to tell which is which in the moment.
"The Cryo-rejuvenator was the device we failed to secure... safely from being stolen at the museum. Though we did not acquire it ourselves, it was also not stolen at all."
Andromeda's jaw clenches; her smile dies, mind roiling as she remembers the failures Chroknight had tricked her into at the boat show. Why does the tin can always have to do this!? Why can't anything involving them ever go smooth!?
"This one didn't steal it. If it was an alternate Chroknight making the attempt they were either a different pilot, or a much more competent and experienced version of the same. Besides, I destroyed it." She forces a wretched approximation of her smile back. "Wouldn't you like to play the game, spin the wheel, and we can talk about it later?"
In the pseudo-real illusory mindscape that Imagerelle has trapped Axolotl Indordnance challenges the Omniversal being's purpose even as the illusionist tosses out a possible answer to the riddle. Axy frowns for a moment in thought. "Well, the answer was supposed to be 'pigs feet dipped in chocolate with dijon on pumpernickel,' but all right fine. If you think that'll taste better."
Two sandwiches appear in his hands, one looking like a Monte Cristo and the other looking like his monstrosity. He takes a bite of the former, chews thoughtfully, then takes a bite of the second and immediately turns green. "Okay, the Tupperware >burp< is yours. Congratulations.
"Heroes have control of the board!"
Before anyone else can pick a category, the replacement heroes still at their spots get a mental message. "Someone ask to spin the wheel! We have a plan!"
Outside the mindscape, the duplicate of Chroknight shakes their head firmly at the idea of teaming up. "I wouldn't team up with this temporal menace if it meant saving a hundred realities! Of course the cryo-rejuvenator got destroyed originally! But if that happened, why do they have it?" The double points to the waist of the accused version, where the experimental medical device hangs!
"My objective is taking this thief into custody," the other Chroknight says to Andromeda. "You should be able to appreciate that. Help me, and I'll keep the reality stabilization field up a little while longer to help with your Omniveral incursion problem."
What do you do?
Samantha's eyes flash dangerous as the other Chroknight speaks of taking her Chroknight into custody. If a star could be green, it would be like a supernova in the sky.
But she holds.
There is not a study of tactics that Samantha has not read, devoured, and incorporated into her database, so fighting on two fronts is not sustainable. Instead she focuses her gaze on Andromeda and tilts her head to the wheel ever so slightly.
As Inordnance asks to spin the wheel after the mental image, Imagerelle quickly extends his hands to secure his Tupperware. Oh the stories he'd tell when he was a grandfather...