Crazy Conspiracy Theories

Nutty? I'm surprised another member of the boards hasn't mentioned this.

Mr. Fryer? Some men in black suits and Raybans are asking to see you.

Tell them I'm not in. I'm vacationing in the south of Orion right now.

Like I said on the "Way Too Long" thread...

If the government wanted to kill some excess population with a disease, they would put that disease in other countries, not our own. A pandemic in the US is bad for business.

That and Farrakhan is a nutjob.

I wonder what other crazy conspiracy theories we can find that people seriously believe in?

Farrakhan is part of the far left, but I have heard a lot of people on the far right say similar things. it's almost like there is a fringe center movement out there. It's proof that the political spectrum is a circle rather than a line.

Hey, don't lump Farrakhan in with me- I've been saying he's insane for years. He's also the topic of yet another conspiracy theory revolving around the death of Malcolm X that I can't find a link to right now(I'm at work).

David Icke!
Ex Crystal Palace goalkeeper turned Son of God.

I wonder what other crazy conspiracy theories we can find that people seriously believe in?

Conspiracy theories that I don't believe in:

The moon landing was a fake.
There was a second shooter on the grassy knoll.
Obama was born in Kenya.
The Bush administration masterminded 9/11.
HIV was invented by the US government to kill blacks and/or gays.

Now add "The US government invented swine flu to cull the population" to that list.

BTW, I'm well aware that someone is going to dive in and argue against one of my positions above. What can I say, I'm the most non-conspiracy theorist out there.

This guy lives just about twenty minutes from me. He drives his motor home in every parade we have proclaiming the end is near. Warning, this guy is seriously racist and a Bible "scholar."

David Fryer wrote:

I wonder what other crazy conspiracy theories we can find that people seriously believe in?

Conspiracy theories that I don't believe in:

The moon landing was a fake.
There was a second shooter on the grassy knoll.
Obama was born in Kenya.
The Bush administration masterminded 9/11.
HIV was invented by the US government to kill blacks and/or gays.

Now add "The US government invented swine flu to cull the population" to that list.

BTW, I'm well aware that someone is going to dive in and argue against one of my positions above. What can I say, I'm the most non-conspiracy theorist out there.

I'll add one to the list for you: Bill Clinton had [insert name of dead administration member here] killed because they knew too much.

O.J. was framed!

Agartha is probably the strangest one that I've heard of.

There are some who believe that the earth is hollow and that groups of extraterrestrials, super-human descendents of Atlantis and Lemuria, and evil lizard-men live on the reverse side of the surface world with an interior sun overhead. They can exit through massive holes in the earth at the north and south poles (possibly hidden by polar ice caps).

Ya know what though... I'm gonna have to write a campaign utilizing this stuff!

Agartha is probably the strangest one that I've heard of.

There are some who believe that the earth is hollow and that groups of extraterrestrials, super-human descendents of Atlantis and Lemuria, and evil lizard-men live on the reverse side of the surface world with an interior sun overhead. They can exit through massive holes in the earth at the north and south poles (possibly hidden by polar ice caps).

Ya know what though... I'm gonna have to write a campaign utilizing this stuff!

Wasn't the Hollow Earth portion of Mystara loosely based on this?

Studpuffin wrote:

Agartha is probably the strangest one that I've heard of.

There are some who believe that the earth is hollow and that groups of extraterrestrials, super-human descendents of Atlantis and Lemuria, and evil lizard-men live on the reverse side of the surface world with an interior sun overhead. They can exit through massive holes in the earth at the north and south poles (possibly hidden by polar ice caps).

Ya know what though... I'm gonna have to write a campaign utilizing this stuff!

Wasn't the Hollow Earth portion of Mystara loosely based on this?

I never played Mystara, so I'm not sure.

David Fryer wrote:

Studpuffin wrote:

Agartha is probably the strangest one that I've heard of.

There are some who believe that the earth is hollow and that groups of extraterrestrials, super-human descendents of Atlantis and Lemuria, and evil lizard-men live on the reverse side of the surface world with an interior sun overhead. They can exit through massive holes in the earth at the north and south poles (possibly hidden by polar ice caps).

Ya know what though... I'm gonna have to write a campaign utilizing this stuff!

Wasn't the Hollow Earth portion of Mystara loosely based on this?

I never played Mystara, so I'm not sure.

Here are the details.

Here are the details.

Yeah, that's pretty close actually. I think it was the inspiration for some of the things that Edgar Rice Burroughs used in Tarzan as well.

The moon landing was a fake.

It totally was. They haven't been on the moon yet. They got close a couple of times, but my defence grid always fences them off.

Mankind will not land on the moon. Not untill they're prepared to pay the toll I levy.

evil lizard-men live on the reverse side of the surface world with an interior sun overhead.

Is there a contest to make the most outlandish claims and have people believe in them?

There are no lizard-men in the world.

The mole people hunted them to extinction long ago, riding them down on their dinosaur mounts.

Dinosaur mounts that shoot lightning out their nostrils.

Is there a contest to make the most outlandish claims and have people believe in them?

My grandfather used to enter a liar's contest every year when he was younger, the idea was to tell the most outragous lie. Because of his last name, he always was the last to go. He would win every year by standing up and saying "I believe everything that has been said here tonight."

Dinosaur mounts that shoot lightning out their nostrils.

Consider this idea stolen.

There are actually people that espouse the belief that there were no planes on 9/11, that the damage to the towers and the Pentagon were due to missile strikes (again, shot by our own gov't). Not only does this fly in the face of video and eye-witness evidence, but strikes me as insulting to those that were on those planes and their families.

There are actually people that espouse the belief that there were no planes on 9/11, that the damage to the towers and the Pentagon were due to missile strikes (again, shot by our own gov't). Not only does this fly in the face of video and eye-witness evidence, but strikes me as insulting to those that were on those planes and their families.

I've also heard that there were planes, but nobody in them. They were flown in on remote control. I agree it's insulting.

Studpuffin wrote:

evil lizard-men live on the reverse side of the surface world with an interior sun overhead.

Is there a contest to make the most outlandish claims and have people believe in them?

You want lies?

There are actually people that espouse the belief that there were no planes on 9/11, that the damage to the towers and the Pentagon were due to missile strikes (again, shot by our own gov't). Not only does this fly in the face of video and eye-witness evidence, but strikes me as insulting to those that were on those planes and their families.

This is second-hand information from a co-worker.

I work for an engineering firm (No, I am not an engineer). One of the engineers in my office claims that they were brought down by explosives. He saw the planes hit from ground level but says that that is not what caused the collapse.

I never speak with this guy and could not argue structural engineering in any case. However, other engineers in the office have pointed out to him how this is easily the reason for their collapse. Cognitive dissonance and/or stupidity is a powerfull force.

KaeYoss wrote:

Dinosaur mounts that shoot lightning out their nostrils.

Consider this idea stolen.

Oh geez, wasn't there one of these in the Monstrous Compendium: Monsters of Faerun? Maybe that was fireballs...

Studpuffin wrote:

evil lizard-men live on the reverse side of the surface world with an interior sun overhead.

Is there a contest to make the most outlandish claims and have people believe in them?

There are no lizard-men in the world.

The mole people hunted them to extinction long ago, riding them down on their dinosaur mounts.

Dinosaur mounts that shoot lightning out their nostrils.

People have believed in Agartha for decades. The Nazis apparently sent some (pseudo)scientists to Greenland so that they could take pictures of the British Fleet on the otherside since the Earth curves back on itself near the "holes in the poles" and they could take the pictures from above. They literally pointed their cameras up to see the other side.

I wonder, can you can mistake a seagull for a cruiser?

If Farrakhan thinks the best the thirteen men who rule the world could do to lower world population is create H1N1 (hiney!) then the wind must howl within his head when he yawns.

I wish I could remember the name.... argh. There's a great 2 hour documentary that counters the 9/11 Truth suppositions one by one in a way that is academic, relaxed and free of hyperbole. Lots of experts and graphic models using all known evidence to make their points in harmonious accordance with what we know about physics, chemistry, engineering and demolition. If anyone knows what I'm talking about, please refresh my memory.

I know a few true (911) believers and they're very bright people, but they're also clinically paranoid and have been since I've known them. I have to listen to their lectures but they won't return the courtesy and listen to my cautions and redirections toward sources of refutation. They've got too much psychically tied up in being right, because if they're right then their dark, frightened world view is legitimized. On the other hand, if they opened themselves up to the possibility that they were mistaken in beliefs they held so strongly and then admitted they jumped the gun when assuming that the people who said they pulled off the 9/11 attacks were liars, and that the Bush administration, using 2000 operatives who've proven inhumanly remarkable at keeping treasonous secrets pulled off the single most complex and covert crime in personkind's history... that's some kind of jump, right? It may even suggest dysfunction is afoot, and who ever wants to admit that to themselves? Not even the axeman with freshly slaughtered Dairy Queen employees at his feet wants to admit maybe he should see someone about his temper.

South Park said it best.

Nutty? I'm surprised another member of the boards hasn't mentioned this.

** spoiler omitted **

(lol)

Not even the axeman with freshly slaughtered Dairy Queen employees at his feet wants to admit maybe he should see someone about his temper.

I ordered a small blizzard, damn you. A SMALL!!!!!!!

There is no such thing as conspiracy, and everything is moving along as planned.

People have believed in Agartha for decades. The Nazis apparently sent some (pseudo)scientists to Greenland so that they could take pictures of the British Fleet on the otherside since the Earth curves back on itself near the "holes in the poles" and they could take the pictures from above. They literally pointed their cameras up to see the other side.

I wonder, can you can mistake a seagull for a cruiser?

Actually, that works, but not for loony reasons. In the far north, the temperature of the layers of atmosphere can diffract light and produce mirages. The phenomenon is rare, but well-known in the upper Hebrides and Greenland. It may also offer an explanation for "fairy castles in the sky".

The Jade wrote:

Not even the axeman with freshly slaughtered Dairy Queen employees at his feet wants to admit maybe he should see someone about his temper.

I ordered a small blizzard, damn you. A SMALL!!!!!!!

LOL. Then you were well within your slashy rights, Freehold.

I'm amazed no one's mentioned TIMECUBE.

Climate scientists are engaged in a worldwide conspiracy to fabricate evidence for global warming so they can get more grant money. (But scientists employed by petroleum companies are physically incapable of being influenced by offers of money.)

Aliens have abducted thousands of people, performed painful and sexual experiments on them, and then dropped them back at home with a pat on the head. The government knows but helps them keep it quiet because ???

Aliens have abducted thousands of people, performed painful and sexual experiments on them, and then dropped them back at home with a pat on the head. ...

You told me you were from Michigan!

Samnell wrote:

Aliens have abducted thousands of people, performed painful and sexual experiments on them, and then dropped them back at home with a pat on the head. ...

You told me you were from Michigan!

I am from Michigan! Planet Michigan in the Dishwater Galaxy. Fear our Imperious Superguardian Eliter-Than-Elite Uberd00dz! We're in ur bedroom, makin' sex experimentz. :)

Also I did a double-take before I realized MI was in my profile.

I'm amazed no one's mentioned TIMECUBE.

Probably because in order to be a "theory" it has to have an identifiable thesis in there somewhere. I have no idea what that long, meandering, incoherent rant is supposed to be about...there's even another page. Good lord!

The thing with saying you don't believe in conspiracies is that what you're really saying is that "I trust that my government would never lie to me about anything".

Try that on for size. What does saying it taste like to you? Could you say it in public?

Among non-conspiracy theorists, there is an unfortunate tendency to use examples from the nutjob portion of the conspiracy spectrum to try to discredit all sorts of ideas about the government lying to you. As soon as someone questions the apparently disgusting politics (very fast acceptance and short testing, two doses, thiomersal (mercury!) used as preservative, radically higher prices, closed negotiations, companies with lots of lobbying power involved, likely making the laws to suit them) and so on, the anti-conspiracy theorists start blaring about how they don't believe in aliens, timecube, and so on.

Get real. What you're doing is making sure people won't forget the conspiracy theories. Take a look at one of the more disgusting ones: All jews working at WTC were warned and stayed at home at 9/11. This has been thoroughly debunked, including (if I remember correctly) the FBI tracing it to a university student in Brazil. Even so, all the government does is seen as cover-ups, fake, or more lies to serve their dastardly agenda, and this story is commonly repeated as evidence of a conspiracy. It's about trust. If you don't trust someone, you won't trust them no matter what they say. The american government being exhibit A. There are many countries where a sizable portion of the population don't assume that the government is trying to screw them over with every new decision made.

The alternative to screaming about how you don't believe in aliens is to foster an atmosphere where people feel they can trust their government. This is done through openness, even about the serious, dangerous and embarrassing decisions. And on that front, the only thing I have seen so far from the american government is Obama's push to make more government work public. Perhaps that's something you should take a look at, instead of trying to "debunk" the symtoms of the fact that people in america don't trust their government?

As it is, take a look at the iWatch movement and their ads. Think about what such an attitude tells you about trust between people and elected.

I heard that iWatch is actually a product being produced by Apple.

Farrakhan is part of the far left, but I have heard a lot of people on the far right say similar things. it's almost like there is a fringe center movement out there. It's proof that the political spectrum is a circle rather than a line.

I felt the same way during the last primaries, as Ron Paul and Dennis Kucinich, both *way* at the fringe of their respective parties, gave some very similar sounding speeches. (Although, Ron Paul is really a libertarian-in-drag, IMO, making him not 'far Right fringe' so much as just 'fringe.')

Last I heard, the list of people Bill Clinton 'had killed' was up to fifty. Amazingly, for someone so good at killing off people who worked with him, usually with no discernible motive at all, he missed Paula Jones (who nearly torpedoed his candidacy), Monica Lewinski (who nearly torpedoed his Presidency) and the dude who made that list.

Besides, everybody knows who wears the pants(uit) in that family. If anybody got killed, it was Hillary behind it. :)

The 9/11 Truthers are fun. They've got some great videos, interviewing the people who supplied the steel for the building claiming right there on tape that the heat of burning jet fuel wouldn't even soften their metal, let alone liquefy it, and then being cut off before they can finish explaining that, combined with the tremendous pressure the building is constantly under, due to it's weight, and the incredible kinetic force of an airliner crashing into them at several hundred miles per hour, the metal would turn liquid at much lower temperatures, just as you can bend the wire of a coathanger in your hands and make it hot, turning kinetic energy into heat...

If it been planned, it would have been better planned. They would have gotten all of the gold out of the storage vaults below the building first. And then stored it at Area 51, next to the moon-mission set, Jimmy Hoffa's skeleton and the last breeding pair of North American Sasquatch.

And again: Area 51, Sasquatches and ridicule. See what I mean?

The ridicule is extremely justified. Truthers are, in fact, ridiculous. Well-meaning, perhaps, but ridiculous nonetheless.

The ridicule is extremely justified. Truthers are, in fact, ridiculous. Well-meaning, perhaps, but ridiculous nonetheless.

They are about as well-meaning as the Birthers are. Ask a Birther why he harps on the supposed illegality of Obama's candidacy and they get all sanctimonious and spurt, 'It's illegal!' and 'Why wont he confirm with his birth records!' and 'It proves Obama is a criminal!'. Ask a Truther why they think the American government would do such a heinous thing they get all sanctimonious and spurt, 'It was done to lead us into war!', and 'It was to push us into fascism!' 'It proves Bush is a criminal!'.

They are opposite sides of the same bad penny.

Actually, Area 51 is real. They have a satellite image of it, google earth mapped it, but it was pulled from the site due to national security issues. Area 51 isn't the real name, it's just a nickname for the airforce base that is on top of it.

Actually, Area 51 is real. They have a satellite image of it, google earth mapped it, but it was pulled from the site due to national security issues. Area 51 isn't the real name, it's just a nickname for the airforce base that is on top of it.

Area 51 isn't famous for being a secret military base where prototypes are tested and the like. That's been public knowledge, if not officially acknowledged, for decades.

Area 51 is famous for being the place where Bob Lazar claimed he was employed in reverse-engineering alien technology from Zeta Reticuli. (Lazar actually claimed to work at an adjacent facility, not that it makes much difference.) From Lazar it got its role in UFO lore, right next to Roswell, the MJ-12 document, and the rest.

I wonder what other crazy conspiracy theories we can find that people seriously believe in?

You're on the wrong company's message boards, if that's what you're after. There's a little company I used to work with that actually calls their convention volunteers Men In Black. That's all I can say. Fnord.

Anyway, I'm related to a guy who honestly believes that the US government was trying to destroy New Orleans. His evidence? They didn't nuke the hurricane. Yes, that's right. He wanted us to kill the weather with nuclear weapons. I started to explain that a hurricane contains more energy than an atom bomb, and that fallout might be an issue, but you know what? I don't need the hassle. I took a drink of the beer I always keep handy when this guy is in town, and asked about sports. Football probably. American. Like I cared. I'm pretty sure he managed to blame the government for Brett Favre's transfer to the Jets.

For years another relative of mine was convinced that the Chinese were launching space mirrors to focus a solar beam intense enough to destroy a city. I tried explaining about how solar sails work, the difficulty of atmospheric interference (wouldn't be a problem on Mars, though), and the sheer size you'd need to get a parabolic mirror with a focal length long enough to punch through with enough energy to toast a weenie, let alone Los Angeles. But, again, life is short. Beer is cheap. I took a swig and asked about how my sister was doing.

There's a reason my family thinks I'm an alcoholic. And hey, as far as they're concerned, fair cop.

People have believed in Agartha for decades. The Nazis apparently sent some (pseudo)scientists to Greenland so that they could take pictures of the British Fleet on the otherside since the Earth curves back on itself near the "holes in the poles" and they could take the pictures from above. They literally pointed their cameras up to see the other side.

I wonder, can you can mistake a seagull for a cruiser?

I take it, then, that you are unfamiliar with Fata Morgana, what the Icelanders call the "halgerndingar"? Looking for ships makes no less sense than searching for Crocker Land, or perhaps more.

Runs in and throws a pie in Zonemind's face

For Soupy!!!!

And again: Area 51, Sasquatches and ridicule. See what I mean?

Most conspiracy theories are patently ridiculous. Flouride in the water was a plot to control our minds? Price check on tinfoil in aisle five... Others are not. Neither you nor I will ever know why the hell Kennedy got shot. At this point, it hardly matters and the *last* person whose opinion I want to hear on it is a flake like Oliver Stone. Do I think it was a plot? Well, obviously, he wasn't shot by accident. Do I think our government was in on it? I have no clue. We've got plenty of people who wanted to do it, and we've got plenty of people who *could* have been behind it, but without a shred of proof, it remains something to talk about around the water cooler.

Heck, I'm way more interested in stuff like the anthrax attacks on the capitol building, which were immediately blamed on Al-Qaeda (even though they targetted only Senators arguing against military action in the Middle East, ignoring those who were arguing to bomb their countries to glass), and were later found to have come from a US military base, and ruled to be the sole work of a man whom his co-workers described as not having the skills necessary to weaponize anthrax.

There's, IMO, a difference between ridiculing the ridiculous, and, what happens all-too-often on the news, ridiculing something to discredit it.

'OMG! Dan Quayle mispelled potato, and then argued with the teacher about how 'that's how I was taught to spell it!' rather than admitting he made a mistake.' The man may indeed be a friggin' idiot, but that was not worth a month of news coverage.

'OMG! Al Gore said something about his very real founding role in getting the legislation passed that put DARPAnet into the hands of the college system, leading to the creation of the internet, let's mock the living hell out of him and ignore everything he ever says again in his life because he didn't personally come to your house and hook up your computer! Note also that Eisenhower said the same stuff about 'building' the Interstate Highway System, and I don't remember him personally doing the entire thing with his own two hands, instead pushing some legislation through, but we'll ignore facts that are inconvenient...'

News, IMO, is too focused on 'gotcha' moments and not nearly enough on actual *news.* I know they keep putting actors and entertainers in office (Sonny Bono, Clint Eastwood, Al Franken, Jesse Ventura, Arnold Schwarzeneggar, Ronald Reagan), and a few of them have turned out to be fairly competent at the job, but I don't love that political figures are being treated as celebrities and pop stars. Instead of reporting about issues, we're reading about how whether or not Michelle Obama's arms are 'too muscular to be appropriate for a First Lady.' *That's* ridiculous, IMO, as it simply makes the entire system look ridiculous, hapless and inefficient, ignoring the thousand times a day that government regulations improve (or flat out save) our lives, in every way from keeping bacteria out of our food to toxins out of our kids toys to lead and mercury out of the water that sluices over our bodies every morning.

The bipartisan system just makes it easier for people who want to tear it down and escape the curse of regulation and oversight into their affairs, as at any given time, half of Washington is reflexively tearing down what the other half of Washington is trying to build up. It's like watching crabs in a bucket. The moment one clambers high enough to get somewhere, the others grab him and pull him back down.