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Kadosh pauses. Clearly the blow to Zyphlryx also caused him some damage, because that sounded like a good idea from Imperius.
Oh, no, my beautiful brain. Something's gone wrong with it!
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Zyphlryx ponders a moment. What if...hear me out now...what if we lead the hammering anvil to the ghost dwarf and solve two problems at once?
Zyphlryx does a fairly unconvincing impersonation of Imperius as he tries to lead the thing down the hall toward the undead smithy.
Kadosh and Zyphlryx try to lure the creature away, but the knocking on the door becomes more frantic! Maybe you ACTUALLY need Imperius… or a Chef or a Ghost…
Broomzad also tries to impersonate Imperius, but he's a ghost!
Imperius casts infectious enthusiasm to grant himsel, and everyone else who takes an action, a bonus on charisma skills.
"Finally a chance for Chompy to earn his keep"
Pepin orders Chompy the cauldron to lure the anvil to the ghost dwarf.
Thump thump thump. Ting!
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Broomzad trips and falls halfway through the floor.
Imperius's cigar falls out of his mouth and singes a golden toe.
Chompy repeatedly clatters straight into a wall.
Somehow you lure the hammer to the forgemaster ghost-dwarf's lair… you hear a clashing, and then a silence. Moments later you hear two hammers working together in unison.
Have they made friends!?
You quickly head back to the warrens…
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Qropmudroonk the Younger and Mihoothe await you in the warrens.
Forsooth! At longeth last…eth, Thy heroes hath returned…eth, Qropmudroonk the Younger.
Thou hath fought…eth well and freed thine boon friend from sacrifice at the handeth of Evil, yet there still be wickedness to scourge from thine and mine demesne. Thus, I giveth to thee Iomedae's boon: her most sacred flamethrower!
She hands you a long cylinder topped by a pair of brass sockets and a collection of polished pipes and tubes. Iomedaes holy symbol of the Sword and Sun has been crookedly glued to it.
Do thy goodeth worketh of the Dawnflower, Kobolds of the Truest True Scales: burn thine enemies to a crispeth!
Qropmudroonk the Younger nods. Ya. Whatever she said. Burn those pinkskins to a crisp for me, ya?.
By the way the Queen wants to see you…
Once back at their warrens, Imperius grabs several handfuls of hand crossbow bolts. He never imagined he'd be going through them so quickly!
He listens to the fancy words of Mihoothe, and looks upon the flamethrower, not being all that impressed by the tool.
'Auntie needs us? Why didn't you say so earlier??"
"He did," Kadosh mutters as he looks for some gas to light up the flamethrower with.
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Zyphlryx follows behind as the kobold heroes make their way to Queen Qweenzeenk's throne room. He carries the weight of the very shiny bow gift to gift.
Look what we retrieved for you, Queen, and by we I mean me, because NO ONE ELSE HELPED fetch it.
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The queen's marble eye glitters. Finally someone RESPECTS ME! She does not get up. Instead, she laughs. Fetch? FETCH!? YES! She points. Tombzaad! Bring me the bow! Fetch!
R-r-r! Tombzaad lurches out from behind a curtain. Tied around his neck are several large poultices stuffed with the scent glands of bats (a few broken bat wings stick out as well… it seems like this was a rushed project) — a clear attempt to cover up the undead stench. The zombie also wears a torn-up frock that was once perhaps rather fine but has been recently shredded by large claws. The golden threads hang in tatters off his back.
The ten foot tall undead (is he getting bigger!?) shambles forward and snatches the bow out of Zyphlry's clawed hand. He looks at it, turning it over…
crunch!
The zombie snaps the bow in two and throws it at the queen's feet. Perhaps Tombzaad has distant memories of all the Pinkskins shooting at him in the forest. Or perhaps he just likes to break beautiful things.
The queen hops up and down and screams. My beautiful present! Nooo! !
As Vras the Necrope slinks in, trying to make his body seem small, you quickly duck out while the Queen is distracted. Whatever she wanted to tell you is forgotten… for now.
You sneak back to the tunnels and loot the chamber where the anvil pounder was. Here you find some gold and a Bracers of Missile deflection!
You also rest and ID the shiny axe you found as a +1 axe with Continual Flame cast on it.
Kadosh's jaw drops as the bow is snapped.
"We should go back and see if we can find more stuff," he urges the others, wanting to get out of the warrens before the queen thinks of some worse task for them.
"Sounds good."
Zyphlryx takes the time to transfer a rune to his shortbow, taking great pains to keep it from the Queen (and of course from Tombzaad). He also slyly snags the shiny bracelets, both for the bling and to keep others from deflecting his arrows when the time comes.
Imperius has the royal inscribers add a +1 rune to his hand crossbow, though he does think that eventually he may want one for his rapier, he prefers not to get that close.
Shopping done, you head back to Droscrag's crucible! This time you head right.
At the center of this large, stone chamber is a deep pit filled with molten slag and sizzling blood that casts a hellish red gleam on the walls. Three narrow chutes open in the ceiling directly above the pit. The air is oppressively hot and thick with ash.
A skeleton here hand still bears a fire-blackened cold iron gauntlet.
Droscrag is a terrible god indeed!
You can deactivate the forge by succeeding at a DC 21 Thievery check, a DC 28 Religion check to offer prayers in opposition to Droskar, or by smashing it to bits.
The gauntlet is soot-stained and gleams dully.
"This chamber was intended for worshipers to offer blood and steel to their god," Kadosh notes. "Droscrag is a terrible god indeed! Even worse than Queen Qweenzeenk thinks Imperius is..."
"We've almost found everything in here," Kadosh says, surprisingly optimistically (he's sure there's something still waiting to kill them somewhere, but better to not let the others know that). "Just a few more doors left."
This place makes my eyes burn, Zyphlryx laments. Even worse than when Tombzaad comes into a room.
He looks around for some unused blood and/or steel. Finding none, he coughs and moves toward the other doors.
Pepin tries to identify the forge.
"I didn't say anything at first but I have been thinking about that forge. There is some sort of magic keeping it going and stopping the smoke from spreading far from the forge, but I think we could disable it with a bit of time. Or maybe exorcise it with some religious mumbo jumbo. Or just smash it."
Pepin will be happy to have someone aid him, but he wants to take a crack at disabling the forge before we move on.
He encourages all the help he can get, but Pepin decides to go for it (hoping for some aid).
"No, you're doing it all wrong! Are you trying to kill us?!" Kadosh helps.
Broomzad also tries to help.
"It's very slippery."
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Imperius puts the shiny cold iron gauntlet on. He soon finds it's cursed by DROSCRAG, and it turns his left hand into a lump of solid gold!
No matter. He sort of likes it anyway: he can prop his crossbow on his forearm and it enhances his golden scales and serves as a symbol of rulership.
There isn't much more on this level of the dungeon. You find the way down below and soon enough come across Thuldrun Kreed, who wears a magical crown—it's the Crown of the Kobold King! Thuldrin lectures you about all his plans. For some reason that seems to be a thing Pinkskins like to do. You see, he's gathering cultists and intends to infuse his crown even more magical power by sacrificing "pathetic kobolds plucked from their homes.” His ultimate goal? To make this an enclave of industry and profit with a labor force of undead loggers who never talk back or complain they're hungry or go on strike. You kobolds are mere for his necromantic engine.
Soon enough Kreed is splattered against the wall: exploded, stabbed from traps and ectoplasmic daggers, and also microwaved.
The blood-smeared crown rests on the floor. It appears as a golden band surrounded by iron spikes that glisten with fresh blood—the addition of a kobold skull to the top is largely decorative, likely from its original Kobold owner, King Merlokrep, but it feels right. Perhaps that ill-fated skull also sparked the inspiration for Kreed's kobold-killing ways. Or perhaps the magical artifact of an ancient murderous Truescale King influenced Kreed's soft weak pinkskin mind.
Of course, Imperius snatches it up puts it on… to much hissing from Kadosh.
This artifact gives Imperius great magical power and makes him look very regal. What powers you may ask? Imperius won't say.
Back home, there's much celebration to be had among the Truly True Truescales — not only have you destroyed all the Pinkskins, you have returned an artifact of your people!
Surely more dangers lurk deeper down in Droscrag's crag, but for now it's a time of joy. Zyphlryx is given all kinds of shiny things to stick to his cane. Pepin cooks up a feast in his cauldron. Broomzad gets a new marble, a "ghost eye" marble that's even nicer than the one the Queen took. Kadosh plots convoluted plots from the shadows. Uncle Dilgax is found in the trash and nailed to the wall above the bar, and for once he only has minor complaints. The cauldron nibbles on scraps. "YUM YUM." Even Tombzaad behaves… chained in an oversized high chair at the feast, smearing food around.
Once again it's a time of change for your tribe. The next morning Queen Qweenzeenk is found with a poisoned crossbow bolt through her good eye. Such is the way of Kings and Queens. "So sad for dear auntie." says Imperius as he sips his wine.
It's obvious to everyone. Who better to ascend to the Truly True Truescale throne but the Gold-Fisted and crowned Imperius?
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Zyphlryx offers to serve Queen Qweenzeenk upon the kobold's triumphant return, but is rebuffed.
The next morning, Zyphlryx offers to serve Imperius as the new Kobold King, and is greeted with a prolonged speech that makes him immediately regret his decision. In fact, he slips off before the pontificating is half finished, making his way past the now-abandoned lumber fort and out of Darkmoon Vale entirely.
It is time to fix problems, he says aloud to no one at all, leaning on his dapper cane to no discernible effect and beginning to sing — poorly — a kobold tune from his youth:
Don't forget me when I'm gone
My Crown would break
I can only listen for so long
It's all I can take
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Kadosh slips out of the shadows, pausing a moment as he gets an odd feeling that someone is looking over his shoulders. He scans the throne room for dangers, but all appears to be as it should: King Imperius sits on his throne, blathering away, blissfully unaware of the dangers that lurk all around him.
But he doesn't need to worry, Kadosh thinks, I'll make sure nothing hurts him. Not for him, of course, but as long as people think he's the real threat, well, they won't be plotting against me!
He sneaks behind the throne, taking up his customary perch out of sight. In time, he'll whisper words of advice to the crowned Kobold King, but for once, he seems to be saying and doing all the right things. Yes, oddly, there's no need for Kadosh to make any corrections ... for now.
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Pepin makes a feast for all, using only the finest of slimes and vermin to satisfy the fussiest of kobold palates.