Kobolds of the Crowned King

Game Master Doug Hahn

After King Merlokrep was defeated by human adventurers decades ago, the Truescale Kobolds were routed. His amazing, extra spiky crown was stolen away by the pinkskins! This crown is a relic of awe, and legends say only the truest of all kobolds can bring the Crown of the Kobold King back home.

That was a long time ago. Generations of kobolds have come and gone. Your clan slowly reformed… digging new tunnels, fighting monsters in the dark, laying cunning traps, and making a home for themselves. Indeed, the Truly True Truescales have finally carved out enough tunnels to have a real home again!

Of course, it's far from perfect. At times your friends perish in haphazard mining excavations… but that is the price you have to pay to acquire hoards of shiny treasure; there's also a new kobold in town annoying everyone with sermons about some pinkskin named "Iomedae," but everyone puts up with her ravings… for now.

Worse still, Queen Qweenzeenk was recently coronated, but her consort slipped on the dais steps and poked out her eye with the ceremonial spear. Her rule may be ill-starred.

Finally, and worst of all, the horrible Pinkskins above have cleared so much forest they've moved near your territory. Trees crash and saws buzz above the tunnels, making a huge racket. The pinkskins kill any kobolds on sight — for such petty crimes as taking a salted fish! They're all horrible.

Everything is changing. Someone needs to fix these problems, or the Truly True Truescales may have to go find a new home all over again! Are there any Truly True Truescales true enough to step up and help their people?

The Queen herself has summoned yoou! You've been napping in the common area, reading old books with the librarian Thrirrean, tinkering with traps at Zaadragrank’s workshop, helping Kezzind sort the junk he found in the tunnels (or taken from the Pinkskin's camp), entertaining friends in Deihl’s tavern with tales of draconic valor, listening to Mihoothe yammer on about knights and gods, or doing chores. There's a lot to do in the Truly Truescale warrens!

A summons can only mean you're needed for the most daring of missions because you are the mightiest and most skilled kobolds in the tribe. Then again… maybe you're just in a lot of trouble. Hard to tell. Whatever the case the Queen is really tough and in charge, so you better go see her right away!

Let's do some intros. I added a map on the slides to situate ourselves int eh Truly True Truecale community a bit better. What are you doing when the Queen summons you? How do you feel about this summons?

Broomzad was discussing with Kezzind the many uses for human picnic baskets, having recently recovered one from a family of lunching humans, when the official summons arrived.
At last!
Broomzad, no doubt the best junk collector in the tribe, had been waiting for a summons from the queen ever since he heard about her.
Now, he's oiled his leather armor with a fish skin, polished his short sword to a tarnished gleam, and wrapped up the green cats eye marble he brought as a gift. He doesn't really want to give the marble away, as it's a prized possession, but he also doesn't want to arrive before the queen empty handed. Plus, he knows she has a thing about eyes ever since she lost one, so he hopes the marble will please her, should worst come to worst.

"Funny seeing all of you here," he says by way of a greeting. "You all got a summons too? Lucky day!"

Of course, Zyphlryx says. Zyphlryx Istraga fixes problems. Well, first he finds them — they hide really well, sometimes — and then he fixes them.

Zyphlryx is well known as the guy who finds things, all right. Fixing them, on the other hand, is somewhat less in his wheelhouse. Making them worse, sure.

Nevertheless, Zyphlryx is here, dapper cane in his hand and various curious items tucked here and there in bandoliers, slings, and satchels about his torso.

Queen Qweenzeenk lounges on the Truly True Truescale throne, which is painted with shiny gold paint that was stolen from the pinkskins long ago. It's also got glittery gems glued to it.

Queen Qweenzeenk herself is a tall, silver-scaled kobold. She had to outmaneuver all eleven of her sisters to get where she is today. Her royal eye patch is made of black velvet with a red eye drawn on it; she only removes it when she is shouting horrible curses at kobolds who get out of line. No one wants to see her dead, evil eye. It's really scary!

Luckily, her depth perception has suffered so Queen Qweenzeenk isn't as proficient at smacking her minions with her scepter anymore (which is made from the bejeweled skull of a big old rat the tribe killed when first digging these tunnels).

Her consort, Vras the Necromancer, lurks in the shadows nearby.

She leaps up onto the seat of her throne. "Broomzad and Zyphlryx, are you the only ones who listened to my summons!? Don't your friends heed to their MIGHTY QUEEN?" She reaches to take off her eyepatch…

Kadosh flinches as the summons comes, glancing at Zaadragrank to see if the queen really wanted him, or if she truly were summoning Kadosh. Once, it's clear he was indeed intended to serve, he slinks out of the cavern, hastily putting his tools into their proper pouches.

Why has she summoned me? Did she discover the needle in her throne? Surely she knows to look, but best to be ready against any who would usurp her place.

It likely wouldn't kill -- she was clearly alive if she was summoning him -- mostly because he didn't have time to get a strong enough poison yet. He would have to do better next time. Surely Queen Qweenzeenk would be canny enough this time to look before she sat. That was Kadosh's motto, after all. Look before you sit. Or leap. Or get up in the morning. Or just about anything. Danger lurks everywhere, and if not for Kadosh, it would get into the Truly True Truescales' caverns.

Finally, he arrives, looking around, hoping he can find a place in the shadows where no one would notice him. Sadly, Imperius wasn't here. He was good for making sure Kadosh wasn't noticed, with his golden scales and bright clothing and being loud and in front of everything.

"Oh and Kadosh is here too. I didn't notice because he's so SNEAKY." She gives him a pointed look as she scratches her behind. "Or maybe I DID." Perhaps she suspects who planted that needle!

She waves her rat skull scepter around. "Where's the rest of you? Lazy friends are a problem not even Zyphlryx can solve. Maybe I should give someone else this amazing important mission!"

She pauses. "Broomzad… is that something shiny in your hand? Did you bring your Queen a present? Perhaps that will appease me while I wait for your friends. Let me see what you have."

Broomzad startles at being spoken to directly.

”Yes, your highness, what sharp eyes you have, despite having just… one.” He looks at her eyepatch and gulps before he continues. ”Tis only a trinket I found, a tiny marble, like a cat’s, you know, eye. I thought it might perhaps please you on account of your lost…” He gestures toward his own eye rather than say the word another time. ”May it forever rest in our hearts.”

He gulps again and wishes so badly that he were sorting junk with Kezzind right now.

A gold-scaled kobold wanders in, a cigar hanging out of his mouth and glass of wine in his hand. He carries a golden scepter in his other hand, and carries himself with airs. "Aunty, I hear you needed me? Have you misplaced your crown, again?"

He takes a sip of his wine, swirling it in his mouth and the glass, pretentiously. "This Sauerton Red the pink skins made has a proper acidity this year."

Finally he notices the others. "Oh, why are they here?"

"You know we lost the crown long ago! It's not funny! And you're GOING WITH THEM you spoiled, good-for-nothing—"

She waves her own scepter around as if to clobber her nephew, but Vras the Necromancer intervenes. He whispers in the Queen's ear: "Your highness… perhaps they will shove him off a cliff."

The queen sits down again, mollified for the moment. "Yes. How could they not? This was my plan all along of course." Vras nods eagerly. Queen Qweenzeenk turns to her nephew and addresses him by his full name, which means he's in big trouble. "IMPERIUS AURUM REX, you should thank Broomzad for bringing that shiny cat's eye marble. You are a very lucky young Truly True Truescale. The valuable offering may be just enough to make me forget your impudence. It will look most excellent, glittering in my socket. Bring it here, Broomzad."

Well, that's good. She's happy.

Broomzad brings forth the marble and, sorry to see it go, hands it over.

"May it forever glitter your socket, your highness."

She grabs the marble out of Broomzad's hand, spits on it, wipes it clean, and pops it in her socket. It's shiny indeed.

She looks around, squinting. "Wasn't there one more of you? Are there here yet?"

Kadosh smiles to himself.

Yes, Imperius, focus her attention on you. No one notice what lurks in the shadows.

But wait! There was supposed to be one more. A rising sense of panic filling his breast, Kadosh spins around to make sure he's not behind him. Realizing he's safe -- for the moment! -- he checks the shadows. Perhaps Kadosh isn't the only one smart enough to know to avoid attention that way. Constant vigilence! Never underestimate a potential enemy!

Imperius appears to not have been listening to the queen's outburst, so focused was he on the contents of his chalice. (no, that isn't his implement, yet...) "Hmm... do I detect a hint of pine in this? That's a new flavor element. Oh, and a bit of cherry, smoke, and perhaps the slightest bit of dung? Very bold choice, very bold indeed!" he mumbles.

"Oh, did you say something, Aunty? Oh, you have a new eye? Very becoming, I am sure."

He looks around. "Kadosh, are you here? I need a refill!"

Kadosh hisses as Imperius directs attention toward him. FOOL!

"Yes, of course, it would be my pleasure" to bring you a refill with an enema!, he says, giving an obsequious smile. Nothing to see here. No threat, no danger. Until the jaws close...

"Please forgive me your imperious majesty! The imbecile who will replace me as acting head chef did not even know how to destink the rat meat and needed a thorough tongue lashing! I beg your forgiveness."

You all know Pepin le Beouf by his pinkskin name, given to him while he lived among them in the distant land of Galt. His volatile temper and abuse of assistants is generally tolerated as he is known for his culinary creations despite his extremely limited supplies.

He is also known as a skilled sorcerer of fire magic, although it is usually seen in the service of making flaming desserts for the Queen.

”Totally understandable, Master Chef. We can’t have the rat tartare having any untoward stenches, now can we? Would completely ruin the wine!” interjects Imperius before his Aunt can reply. ”Are we to be blessed with your special roast sparrows tonight? It has been ever so long.”

"Imperius, try to listen for a miniute! Finally, you're here, Pepin. I'm sick of rat tartare and we're out of gecko eggs. That is why you're going to the fishing spot up top. We haven't been able to get any Shiny goldfish lately. Gold is the best color for fish eaten by the Truly True Truescales, of course. It's like they're all gone. Who would steal our beautiful yummy fish? I need you to find out."

"Investigate the fishing spot. You know where it is. Now get out."

You are not expected to ask questions, nor is the Queen expected to have answers.

Kadosh snarls (but only to himself). Clearly a trap! They're even using fish as bait. But we're on the hook now!

He slinks out, getting his gear, ready to go. As soon as they leave the warren proper, he mutters to his companions, "You all know this is a trap, right? Be prepared for anything!"

He starts slinking from shadow to shadow, though that's little changed from how he behaved in the kobold warren, and only made slightly difficult by the lack of shadows due to the sun being hidden by the cave ceilings above them and the lack of any torches because the kobolds can all see in the dark. He wonders if Pepin will light a fire soon. Not only will that give Kadosh some shadows to hide in, but it will let attract attention to the chef as the obvious target.

You head out, using the secret exit.

The forest was once quiet, and full of birds and fish rabbits to eat. Lately, pickings have been slim; there's the constant scream of saws and banging of logs in the flume that the pinkskins have built.

Not far from the secret exit tot he warrens is the fishing spot — or what once was. It's dried up! Just days before there was a cold, clean mountain stream running through the woodlands here, with a little pool off to the side where the golden trout gathered practically waiting to be grabbed by kobolds. Now there is nothing more than dry rocks, flies, and mud.

The Queen will not be happy to hear the fish supply is gone. Pepin may not like this news either — no more trout meuniere!

The stream would be easy enough to follow if you wanted to head that way and see why it's dried up.

”Damn it! And I was all worked up for your fried goldfish, PepIn.

“Kadosh, where did you go? Aren’t you taking point again?“ calls out Imperius, waving his scepter around.

Yeah this is a good time to sort out your exploration activities.

Imperius will be looking imperial… looking out for anyone who would pay him homage…. So searching

Zyphlryx will Investigate, which more or less defaults to Perception, I would guess.

Kadosh slinks out of the underbrush. "I can scout out ahead, if you want" and stay away from the noise you make.

He fades into the underbrush as he puts a little distance between himself and the others. I may be "scouting" but I'm ABSOLUTELY avoiding notice as my activity.

You follow the streambed for an hour, and soon can hear the sound of tools clanging and pinkskins blathering about something as they work:

In common: "Passsh me dat bottle, Arlo." A pause and a burb. "Yeah… the good stuff! Gets ya through the day."

Rocks clatter.

Broomzad will also avoid notice.

"If the river's been damned, maybe we can recover some good junk, as well as the fish!"

Broomzad you can read the spoilers for Kadosh above.

Lore (engineering) (trained): 1d20 + 6 ⇒ (3) + 6 = 9

Kadosh creeps back.

"Four pinkskins," he whispers. "They're drunk. We can ambush them!"

Pepin will be Avoiding Notice.

Engineering lore: 1d20 + 4 ⇒ (10) + 4 = 14

Broomzad takes a better look at the dam and gasps!

"The pinkskins are diverting the river to their log flumes! We must stop them!"

Kadosh carefully looks again, to see if the pinkskins are huddled beneath the dam in a way that they could turn it against them.

"Sneak? I guess... or I could just give them a piece of my mind!"

Imperius looks ready to stand up and rush forward.

Can you spare any...? Zyphlryx says...on the inside.

On the outside, he says, Four, already inebriated. Should we just chase them away, or... He motions his hand across his neck, as one would if they were separating the head from the body.

Stealth: 1d20 + 7 ⇒ (12) + 7 = 19
Engineering Lore: 1d20 + 4 ⇒ (2) + 4 = 6

Broomzad gives Kadosh a look that says are you thinking what I’m thinking.
He then sneaks over to the dam, but he isn’t sure where to put the bomb!

Stealth (trained): 1d20 + 7 ⇒ (3) + 7 = 10
Lore (engineering) (trained): 1d20 + 6 ⇒ (16) + 6 = 22

Guess we'll Hero Point that Stealth roll. No time like the present to use them.
Stealth (trained): 1d20 + 7 ⇒ (10) + 7 = 17

Kadosh, more focused on the death he's about to bring to the pinkskins, crashes slightly noisily through the underbrush. But at the last moment, he catches Broomzad's look. He tail droops slightly as he realizes what that look must mean -- that he was making too much noise. Redoubling his efforts, he creeps the rest of the way toward the dam.

"There," he whispers, pointing to a spot that will surely bring down the structure.

Imperius steps out to confront the humans, drawing scepter and crossbow in hand.. ”What are you IDIOT pink skins doing? This is not YOUR river, it is ours! How DARE you damn it up! Prepare to die, or just run. It is your choice in the end. Or, you know, tear down the dam and save me the trouble of having kill you all! ”

Intimidation: 1d20 + 8 ⇒ (12) + 8 = 20

The men drop their tools and stare.

The leader hurriedly slurps liquid courage from the bottle; spirits dribble down his chin and into his filthy bead. "Vermin can't own rivers! This's HUMAN land, and we're gonna do whatever we want with it!" Nevertheless they look surprised.

One of the others steps forward and grabs the bottle. "We're gonna cut down every tree and divert every river! You can't do NOTHIN' about it!"

As he scratches under his ragged jerkin the third snatches the bottle and drinks greedily. "Oi. Ain't Graywolf is offerin' a bounty on Kobold heads? How much ya think these're worth?"

The fourth drains the booze and burps loudly. "Ya and Thuldrun sez kill pests on sight. We got loggin' to do, and money to make."

The pinkskins weapons. And so do you.

s-s-s-s-… the fuse sizzles and black smoke rises from the rocks behind the dam.

One of the men turns around. "What the—"

BOOM!

The dam explodes! Rocks fly everywhere and water rushes out!

3d20 ⇒ (6, 12, 16) = 34 Put a penalty from goo intimidate roll but two rolled high
B: 1d6 ⇒ 4

One of the pinkskins screams and gurgles as he's caught up in the flood and dragged forward through the gravel and mud.

★★★
Boom! Round 1

Terrain: Water difficult terrain
Battlemap

──────────
BOLD IS UP!:
──────────
➤ Zyphlryx (14/14 HP)
➤ Pepin le Beouf (13/13 HP)
Pinkskin 2 (-4 HP) │ Prone
Kadosh (16/16 HP)
Pinkskin 4 (-0 HP)
Imperius (14/14 HP)
Broomzad (16/16 HP)
Pinkskin 1 (-0 HP)
Pinkskin 3 (-0 HP)

"You cretins are in for a shock!"

Pepin strides forward and casts Electric Arc on 3 and 4.

Basic Reflex DC17: 1d4 + 4 ⇒ (2) + 4 = 6

Zyphlryx scurries forward, suddenly appearing alongside Imperius.

Devise a Stratagem: 1d20 ⇒ 17

He spies an opening on #3 and takes advantage with his shortbow. 17 + 7 = 24 to hit
piercing: 1d6 ⇒ 5
plus Deadly, if applicable: 1d10 ⇒ 1

I think you'll not need to worry about collecting bounties any time soon.

Stride, Devise a Strategem, Strike.

2d20 ⇒ (3, 5) = 8

Pepin zaps his targets, who judder and convulse on the wet ground. Both failed. "Ow!"

Zyphlryx moves forward and drives an arrow through the prone pinkskin's eye, ending his drunk, miserable, flea-bitten life. The body bobs around a bit before coming to rest against a rock.

More gold for us! laugh the pinkskin's "friends."

★★★
Boom! Round 1

Terrain: Water difficult terrain
Battlemap

──────────
BOLD IS UP!:
──────────
Zyphlryx (14/14 HP)
Pepin le Beouf (13/13 HP)
➤ Kadosh (16/16 HP)
Pinkskin 4 (-6 HP)
Imperius (14/14 HP)
Broomzad (16/16 HP)
Pinkskin 1 (-0 HP)
Pinkskin 3 (-6 HP)

Kadosh sizes up the nearest pinkskin and dashes forward, fangwire whistling through the air.

Hunt Prey, Stride, Strike!
Fangwire (agile, finesse, grapple): 1d20 + 7 ⇒ (4) + 7 = 11
(backstabber): 1d4 ⇒ 3

The pinkskin is surprised to see a kobold stride out of the bushes, but manages to slip away from the nasty wire.

Pinkskin 4 squints drunkenly and aims his shortbow at Pepin. "Graywolf'll pay a pretty copper for them ugly ears!"

Shortbow: 1d20 + 5 - 1 ⇒ (12) + 5 - 1 = 16
P: 1d6 ⇒ 6

More Shortbow: 1d20 + 5 - 1 - 5 ⇒ (2) + 5 - 1 - 5 = 1
P: 1d6 ⇒ 1

Only a drunk would waste a third action: 1d20 + 5 - 1 - 5 ⇒ (10) + 5 - 1 - 5 = 9
P: 1d6 ⇒ 3

He fires three arrows; the first one slices open the chef's shoulder. The other two fly off at wild angles.

★★★
Boom! Round 1

Terrain: Water difficult terrain
Battlemap

──────────
BOLD IS UP!:
──────────
Zyphlryx (14/14 HP)
Pepin le Beouf (7/13 HP)
Kadosh (16/16 HP)
Pinkskin 4 (-6 HP)
➤ Imperius (14/14 HP)
➤ Broomzad (16/16 HP)
Pinkskin 1 (-0 HP)
Pinkskin 3 (-6 HP)

Broomzad moves to Pinkskin 3 and strikes twice!

Shortsword: 1d20 + 7 ⇒ (20) + 7 = 27 Stab!
Damage: 1d6 + 4 ⇒ (2) + 4 = 6

Shortsword: 1d20 + 3 ⇒ (7) + 3 = 10
Damage: 1d6 + 4 ⇒ (5) + 4 = 9

"Leave our rivers alone!"

Broomzad strikes once, ending the pinkskin's wretched existence. The other two laugh. More gold for us!

Broomzad has one action left; #3 is dead!

Imperius stomps up, presenting his scepter in its full glory. ”Gold? My scales shall be the last gold you see, you pathetic mammals,for IAM am Imperius!”

Intimidation to demoralize #4: 1d20 + 8 ⇒ (19) + 8 = 27 ](+9 to Demoralize foes of your level or below)

He then shoots his crossbow at #4
hand crossbow +6 (range increment 60 feet, reload 1): 1d20 + 6 ⇒ (6) + 6 = 12
piercing: 1d6 + 2 ⇒ (4) + 2 = 6

M-m-m-maybe not! You're just a pathetic kobold, we're not scared of you… r-right? The pinkskin looks to his least ally, clearly shaken! Frightened 2!

However, the golden kobold's arrow flies wide.

Target practice! laughs Pinkskin 1 as he shoots at Imperius thrice!

Shortbow: 1d20 + 5 - 1 ⇒ (12) + 5 - 1 = 16
1d6 ⇒ 1

Shortbow: 1d20 + 5 - 5 - 1 ⇒ (4) + 5 - 5 - 1 = 3

Shortbow: 1d20 + 5 - 5 - 10 ⇒ (5) + 5 - 5 - 10 = -5

… a single arrow grazes the regal kobld's golden scale. It's now stained with blood like a Sauerton red.

★★★
Boom! Round 2

Terrain: Water difficult terrain
Battlemap

──────────
BOLD IS UP!:
──────────
➤ Zyphlryx (14/14 HP)
➤ Pepin le Beouf (7/13 HP)
➤ Kadosh (16/16 HP)
Pinkskin 4 (-6 HP) │ Frightened 2
Imperius (13/14 HP)
Broomzad (16/16 HP)
Pinkskin 1 (-0 HP)

"First let's make a spicy salad!"

He casts a spell and a burning head of lettuce appears in his hands, which he hurls at Pinkskin 4.

Produce Flame/Flaming Produce: 1d20 + 7 ⇒ (15) + 7 = 22
Fire Damage: 1d4 + 4 ⇒ (3) + 4 = 7

"And then let's toss it a bit!"

Elemental Toss: 1d20 + 7 ⇒ (6) + 7 = 13
Fire Damage: 1d8 ⇒ 5

Hissing in frustration, Kadosh wades through the mud and much, slashing with his fangwire again. Again, he misses badly as he focuses more on any other traps that might be in there area.

Cast gravity weapon!, Stride, Strike
Fangwire (agile, finesse, grapple): 1d20 + 7 ⇒ (4) + 7 = 11

Pinkskin 4's last sight is a head of flaming lettuce. He dies confused. Confused and screaming.

Kadosh's fangwire gets tangled by his own paranoia.

Pinkskin 1 growls. I'm not runnin' from you stupid vermin.

Zyphlryx is up!