After about 30 minutes, you efficiently clean the space and get the quarters ready for your use and you're sure the inevitable inspections. During the cleaning time, you do manage to find one potion of cure light wounds and a rusted old dagger.
One time, Dell Darkblade returns and smiles at the quarters appearance. "Damn, I think we do have some soldiers here after all. Well done." He pauses and then waves his hand. "Come on, time for chow."
Following Dell, you arrive at the mess hall at six pm sharp. What looks to be a group of seasoned mercenaries are making there way through the line and have clustered together to chat and eat. It's a collegial atmosphere, with much laughing and smiles throughout. You are noticed, and several point in your direction.
As you get in the line, a tall Elven man walks over, his shoulder badge indicating he is a lieutenant. "Well hello recruits! I'm Larssock and I've been chosen to introduce you to the Ungrounded. There's one task each of you must accomplish before food, call it a tradition round here."
Leading you to the front of the mess hall, Larssock raises his hands. "UNGROUNDED! Pipe down you crazed warriors. It's time for the entertainment!" Cheering rolls through the mess hall, with many smiles and nodding heads. Larssock turns back to you and whispers, "Ok pretty simple here. On the first night, recruits are to entertain us for one bit. Tell a nasty joke, sing and dance, do some acrobatics, juggle, hell we don't care. Just show us that you're willing to party with us. Cause if you won't do that, you sure as hell can't be trusted to fight with us." Giving you a wink, he turns back to the Ungrounded, "Ok, here we go!"
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With a short laugh of amusement, Kala pulls out a small chunk of meat from her pocket and steps up onto a chair. She holds out the meat for Stinky, who eagerly cranes and stretches his neck toward the treat.
"Okay, so Stinky here isn't like one of those dancing bears or anything, but he loves to play." She hops down off the chair and begins to trot/run away from him, holding out the treat behind her to entice him to chase her. Round the dining hall she goes, laughing and playfully teasing the wolverine as he growls playfully in turn pelting after her. His furry clawed paws occasionally slip and scratch at the floor, causing him to have some comically clumsy moments. The chase ends when Kala lets him corner her and he jumps into her arms to devour the hunk of meat, knocking her on her rear as she laughs and rough houses with him for a moment more.
She then stands up, brushes herself off, and strides to the back of the chow line, giving Larssock a confident nod as she passes him.
"I always keep some treats on me, so if anyone else wants a turn let me know. He's just like a big puppy dog. Unless you make him mad. Then he'll rip you up."
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Stinky is panting more from exhilaration than the brief exertion. As he licks his chops to ensure that he has consumed every last molecule of meat, he trots after Kala just like a loving canine and plops down at her feet to scratch his chin with a hind claw.
Haha! That was fun! It's been a while since you played with me like that. We should do it more! It makes you happy, too. Hey, do you have any more meat? I think I smell some in your pocket there. Can I have it now? Please?
In response to his begging, Kala begins scratching behind his ears. Ooooh, that's sooo gooood...
The meat is temporarily forgotten.
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Hmm, this is pretty light as far as hazing goes. Okay, here goes nothing...
After Kala and Stinky fade away he enters "center stage."
Something you should all know about me! I have some very interesting powers available to me when nobody is looking! Firstly, I can turn invisible at will when nobody is looking! Useful, right? Watch! Wait; don't watch! Look away!
Knowing full well most won't look away, he snaps his fingers on both hands for effect, as if activating the "ability."
Now you don't see me! As soon as the first person turns back to look it will deactivate. So convenient! Okay, that went pretty fast because someone didn't really look away very long. I don't know who that could be, but it's not like it was everyone. If you didn't know I was here it would be perfect.
He extends the wait through the crickets until it's painful for all involved.
Okay, if that didn't impress you. This will! It's called the Sandpoint Levitating Man! Nobody knows why it's called that! If you're not looking, I'll be able to float in mid air, say after jumping off of one of these tables! Okay, ready?
He hops up on the nearest table, hoping that a jump can get him roughly ten feet off of the ground, in the air.
Okay, ready? Remember, you have to look away for the floating ability to activate!
He launches himself off of the edge of the table, a few feet forward but mostly upward.
Nooo! Look away! It won't work! I can't levitaaaaaate!
He slowly floats downward, drifting back and forth, until he lands defeated laying on the cold hard stone floor.
Wow, rough crowd! Welp, looks like it's time to give someone else a chance. Thank you! You've been great! I'm here all week!
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Krystiana takes her turn. Spending most of her life at military schools or at seminary she never had much opportunity for fun and games. What she did have was stories. "Okay, we're all soldiers here and we all know that-one-recruit who tried to had their own set of rules. Well, let me tell you all about Skippy. We had a running list of two hundred and thirteen things that Skippy was not allowed to do in the army. Mind you, these were not regulations. No one would think of regulations that would cover these things." She begins to randomly list off the crazy random things that some person named Skippy used to pull.
"... Number fifteen. Skippy is not allowed to train adopted stray dogs to 'Sic Brass!'. I've never seen a general run that fast before. Not fast enough, though. Poor dog having to bite something like that." She goes on, "... Number thirty-three, he's not allowed to chew gum at formation, unless he brought enough for everybody. And as you can guess it, number thirty-four he's not allowed to chew gum at formation even if he did bring enough for everybody. He had a crate of the stuff shoved a dozen large belt pouches and was handing them out like promises before an election," she laughs, "The Sargent stood there with a wax-paper wrapped piece of candy in his hand and an expression on his face that could kill a demon." She mimes the sargent's expression.
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trying to think of any local honor songs, however not spending much time in the Earthen Plane she lacks the knowledge in its traditions. Instead she starts to sing a Warriors Dirge from her home land that is traditionally sung around a bonfire with mead and ones comrades.
"See the number of fires burning clearly
Good fortune for the mighty Commander
Great luck, I discipline my hails of fortune to you, Commanders
Hail appreciation through your silence
Our Commander Kor
Hail again
Hail again
Hail again
You always cloak it thereabouts
the Fist of the Commander's hits
the Fist of the Commander
the Fist of the Commander
the Fist of the Commander"
as the tune fades down she speaks normally
"Work hard in silence, let your success be your noise!"
she bows and steps back letting another step forward
As each of you perform, the room is very quiet. The Ungrounded stare on with no reaction and the occasional nod to one another. Kala and Stinky both receive the silent treatment and it continues on in turn for each of your performances. By Krystiana's listing, it's getting downright unsettling. Blank stares with no visible sign of approval or boredom. With Lina's song fading in the room, their is a 15 second or more pause. Nothing.
Finally, a recruit in the 2nd row can't hold it in anymore and guffaws. Larssock wanders over to him and looks down "Nelson, you are never going to get the point of this particular joke are you." Shaking his head he turns back to the Ungrounded. "Well now that Nelson's up and broke the silence, time to express our thoughts." Lifting his hands, the Ungrounded stand as one.
And then all hell breaks loose in cheering. Thunderous applause and smiles great you as the newest members of the Ungrounded. Each in turn is congratulated on a good performance or particularly moving segment. Many liked Krystiana's list joke, turns out to be a favorite in the Ungrounded, and Avi's performance was taken to be some form of witty satire about spellcasters. Kala and Stinky are swamped for the occasional pat or scrap of meat to be fed and Raynard is complemented for his imagined combat prowess with those "moves". Finally, Lina seems to have touched some memories in many of the Ungrounded and there are sincere thank you's.
Dinner passes joyfully and you make many new comrades. The night is swift with the drink and 6:00AM finds you awakened by Captain Othis and her makeshift drum and ladle. "Glad to see you are awake recruits, another hard day ahead in the Ungrounded, especially for those as soft as you!" Breakfast and then off to unloading supplies takes you to 9:30AM when you get the joy of latrine cleaning with small brushes. It's particularly arduous and the heat seems to be building on this day.
After about two hours of cleaning, Captain Othis enters with fresh muddy boots and looks down at your floor. "Not very clean recruits, not very clean at all! I sense a demerit in the near future. Get this cleaned and then get your lunch and head to the obstacle course!"
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Kala keeps her countenance neutral as Captain Othis deliberately acts like a jerk. Reminds me of Grandmother, only softer. And less mean. But just as spiteful and ungrateful.
As soon as the Captain has left, she gets right back to work expressionlessly and efficiently. It takes time to earn respect.
The cleaning hot and long, and Lina seems fatigued by the end of it. As you hang up your your brushes, Dell arrives with a small sack containing dried beef and some water. "No time to rest recruits, off to the obstacle course!"
Eating along the way, you leave the Ungrounded compound and march out to a small area just beyond the city walls that appears to have been converted into a small obstacle course. Captain Othis is seated on a chair and smiles wickedly when you arrive. "Fattened up for the run huh? Off you go!"
You approach the first obstacle. A 10" wide log spans a 10' deep pit gouged into the rock. The log is rough cut and kneeling down, Kala notices the first two feet have a greasy substance coating the beam. It can be stepped over, but if it gets on your boots it will likely make them slick for the run. Glancing over to Captain Othis, you notice she has a sour look and glances angrily at Dell Darkblade.
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Good eye Kala. Pretty sure I would be in the pit on my ass if you handed pointed it out. Time to cross...
Starts to fall, reaches out for the log...
Misses it! Okay, so I found a way into the pit anyway. Let the hazing continue!
He rolls his eyes as he climbs out to try again.
Starting over...
Thank you, next.
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Kala subtly points out the grease to her teammates nearby and inclines her head to indicate that they should pass it on. When it's her turn, she starts out across the log with ease, but then Stinky tries to follow her. He distracts her and trips her up, both of them tumbling into the muck below.
"Gah! Dang it Stinky!" She slogs out of the muck, followed by the sloppy wolverine. She points to the ground out of the way. "Here goes nothing... Stay!"
She pauses, incredulous that it worked, but then whirls around to hustle through the obstacle course while Stinky is compliant.
Whew!
Krystiana steps onto the log, slips but manages to catch herself. Attempting it again, same result. Pondering it, she steps aside and watches as Raynard easily walks across the beam, jumping the last few steps.
Captain Othis looks decidedly displeased, but beams when Avi lands into the deep mud. Leaning forward in her chair, she is expectant but is quickly disappointed as the Mage deftly crosses the beam on his second try.
Kala is up next and quickly is into the mud. Captain Othis laughs and turns to Dell Darkblade "Ha! Never an advantage those animals are."
Those that have crossed the beam, look upon the next obstacle. The area beyond the pit is covered in a tangle of metal wire scattered with glass, sharp rocks, and broken bricks. A crawlspace 2 feet in height is the only passage through the detritus.
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The corner of Kala's mouth twitches as she regards the claustrophobic tunnel. Mentally shrugging and preparing for the worst, she begins squeezing her tall, muscular frame through the confines of the crawlspace. At the last minute, she remembers to activate her Animal Focus ability, giving herself the Aspect of the Tiger Here's hoping.
...Wow.
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Tired of staying back, Stinky scampers after his Kala. Kala! Hey Kala! Wait for me! Didn't I do a good job staying? I was good, wasn't I? Hey, do you have anything to eat? I'm hungry.
Fortunately for him, his small frame is perfectly built for this sort of thing. In fact, to him the crawlspace is rather roomy.
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Avi gets a sudden, worried look as he eyes the crawl space. He walks up to it, then backs away, pacing several laps in a circle before stopping and staring at it for several long moments...
Oh man, oh man, oh man...
Then, he suddenly remembers something. He looks up at Captain Othis and smiles (a little too proud of himself), and takes a lump of butter from his spell component pouch. He begins gesticulating with one hand while rubbing the butter on himself with the other, and loudly reciting the draconic incantation for...
With more calm and ease he walks towards the opening, sliding the last few yards on his slippery feet in style.
At the balance beam, Krystiana falls twice into the mud. As you crawl out the second time, Captain Othis has risen from her chair and walked in your direction. "My my recruit, not exactly light on your feet are you? That's a demerit. Move on to the second obstacle."
Lina makes out no better. After falling twice directly into the mud, she emerges looking no better and still fatigued. Captain Othis does not say a word, but shakes her head and marks down on a piece of paper and gestures onwards.
As you all approach the bear crawl, it's a quick trip for Raynard through the crawlspace. With a little concentration, Kala follows after deftly and Stinky wastes no time catching up, looking right at home in the warren. By this time, Captain Othis, Dell, Krystiana and Lina have caught up to you, just in time to see Avi lathering in butter. Captain Othis has a decidedly sour look, but Dell just grins "Smart one he is Captain" After Avi emerges, Krystiana gives it a go. It doesnt go well from the beginning and after a minute or two of struggle and some cuts and scrapes, Dell walks over and grabs Krystiana by the back of the armor and frees her from the crawl. "Off you go recruit, better luck in the future." Captain Othis just marks down on the paper with an audible "Demerit"
Lina makes a go of it and almost gets the first half behind her but then is horribly tangled in some wire and gets cuts along the side of her face and shoulder. Dell is there again to heave her out and Captain Othis marks off another demerit.
Following after Dell and the Captain, you approach a 15-foot-tall stone wall overlooking a small pond. The sheer rock wall has few handholds and then on the top you can swing across the pond to the far side. "Up you go recruits, let's see how you climb and swim!" Pointing at Avi and Raynard, he laughs "Pretty nimble on your feet. Let's see how the wall treats you."
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Avi looks up at the wall and sighs. Yup, this is going to be bad...Get ready to embarrass me Kala!
*sploosh!*
It only gets worse after falling into the pond. He thrashes around wildly in the water before getting the hang of it and crossing. Not very graceful. After crawling out of the water he winces and looks up at the captain, dreading her relish in his defeat.
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Haha! All that butter is floating in the pond! Kala stifles her laugh, knowing the Captain is the sort with no sense of humor. She assesses the wall, and switches her Animal Focus to the Aspect of the Monkey and Stinky's to the Aspect of the Frog, then hoists herself up there.
She crosses adroitly. Once on the other side, she calls out to Stinky as she waves a piece of jerky: "Come here boy! Look! I've got meat!"
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Meat-meat-meat-meat!... Stinky instantly knows exactly what Kala is offering him and blasts off into the pond, pumping his legs as rapidly as possible to get to that precious, precious meat.
He powers out of the water, spraying it everywhere as he wolfs down the proffered treat. As soon as he's swallowed it, he shakes like a dog, soaking everyone nearby.
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Krystiana pops the straps on her armor and lets the pieces fall into a pile along the side only keeping her shield strapped to her back. Wearing just her armoring clothes she walks back a few paces and then takes a run at the wall.
She leaps into the air to grab the rope and swing...
...and snatches it to clear the obstacle.
The wall was clearly no easier than the previous trials. With Dell's urging, Avi and Raynard lead the way. Raynard gets a little faster start and only gets a few feet up the wall before he slips and falls into the pond. Avi fares no better, with a similar result, except he isn't as strong as a swimmer and falls behind Raynard who emerges easily on the other side of the pond.
Lina observes Avi and Raynard, but cannot make further headway and also enters the pond waters. However, she doesn't re-emerge and after a few moments, Dell strides to the edge of the pond and pulls a hooked pole from where it was propped beside the wall. Fishing around for a minute with the pole, Dell concentrates and a few second later Lina pops to the surface and Dell drags her to the edge of the pond.
Stifled laugh and mirthful face, Kala starts up the wall. About 10' above the ground Kala pauses and looks carefully at the wall. Realizing there is a trapped section that would fall away, Kala continues up the rest of the way on the wall and easily swings across the pond. Stinky joins the rest of the group on the far side of the pond, adding a little extra water to the swimmer's day.
Noting Kala's reluctance at a section of the wall, Krystiana makes the climb easily and swings across to gently land beside the rest of her Ungrounded Recruits companions.
Captain Othis has that knowing smile and happily marks down demerits for most of the group. Looking up a moment, she scowls at Kala and then at Dell in particular, and then she turns to address the group. "Well recruits, that seems to have been a full morning and early afternoon. You've managed to have none of you complete all the obstacles. However, since some of you only failed one obstacle, I'm forced to denote you as passing as a squad.". Writing further, she doesn't glance up "Barely, and I thought Pathfinders were made of tougher stuff."
She jerks a hand at Dell and then walks off without further word. Dell approaches and hands out some rough cloth to dry yourselves with. "You're free to spend the evening as you wish. Tomorrow AM we'll start with some mock combat trials and then test your knowledge. If that goes well, you'll be cleared for missions."
The evening in the barracks passes uneventfully and the meals are full of food and comradeship. Fellow recruits are impressed with your team's performance in the obstacle course and there are a few comments about how hard the Captain is working yourselves. Definitely outside the normal treatment.
After breakfast, you report outside the mess hall. Just outside the mess hall, an oval of hard-packed dirt surrounds four columns made of black stone. Gray stone benches encircle the training ground, providing a clear view for nonexistent spectators. A raised balcony made of blue and purple crystal emerges from the stands. Dummies made of stuffed burlap sacks affixed to posts are scattered throughout the field, some wearing crudely painted smiles and posed in offensive gestures. Captain Othis stands in the crystal balcony, a mischievous grin on her usually stern face.
In the arena is a small group of recruits that have been selected to train against your group. You are surprised to see Dell Darkblade at their head, testing a wooden sword with a few swipes at a dummy. There are not many Ungrounded troopers present, but a few are sprinkled throughout the stands.
Captain Othis clears her throat and address your groups. "Recruits, this sparring match will be an important test of your skill and continued employment in the Ungrounded. This is a test of your martial skills. No potions, no magic and no spells." Picking up a wooden sword, she gently tosses it into the ring. "Also, no lethal attacks. You may use wooden weapons, but you may use your own as well, but the penalty for killing is death or expulsion."
Sitting down, she waves you forward, "Take your positions."
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Krystiana, now washed and back in full plate armor, picks up a wooden longsword from the rack. She swings it a couple of times to get a feel of it. "Arshea, let this blade swing true, but free my opponents from any lasting harm. May Arshea free us all." The soldier makes a religious sign and stands at the ready.
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Kala hefts her cold iron warhammer, Orc Brains, contemplating. Stinky still has Aspect of the Frog--no help here. Can she get away with switching his Animal Focus (and throwing one on herself at the same time)? She glances up at the Captain, who is watching the group like a hawk. Uhg. Not worth the risk. He'll just be a frog. She advances to take up her position, readying her shield as she does so. "Stinky, heel."