We Be Goblins (Inactive)

Game Master Dustmop

pustular fort save: 1d20 + 2 ⇒ (19) + 2 = 21

Kalam, after a brief swaying pause as the alcohol hits him, rights himself, straightens his back, lifts his long knobby nose, and struts out among the bonfire watchers proclaiming his glorious victory over the snake and daring...heroic even, rescue of his fellow goblins from the snakes vicious fangs and insidious poisons!

Reta follows the others over to the fire after donning her finery and while drinking her ale.
fortitude save: 1d20 + 3 ⇒ (10) + 3 = 13
Reta begins boasting about her savage killing skills and how she Made slither stop slither!
Will save: 1d20 + 1 ⇒ (1) + 1 = 2
However, as soon as she hears Kalam's story, expertly told, she soon realizes she must have remembered incorrectly and begins singing his praises (literally).

Kalam great gobbo warrior! He kill slither dead! Reta saw much kill skill!

After the tone-deaf praise-singing ends, Reta continues to loudly praise Kalam, whenever someone asks about the hunt.

Who is going to keep track of the purse?

@Kalam yes alcohol is considered a poison so you do get to use your trait pustular, lucky you!
Another post coming soon (darn work, let me play!)

As night falls, a group of four struggling goblins carry the Teeter Chair (with Chief Gutwad sitting atop it) out to the bonfire, and the chief lights the fire with a Desnan candle.
This signals the start of an all-night party that features lots of good things to eat (snails, fish, and snakes).
The chief brings out a barrel of fermenting cider apples early on and most goblins get drunk very quickly.

Fortitude save was DC:8 so you guys are not sickened

Kalam has himself a large crowd of (drunk) goblins listening to his heroic retelling of slaying the mud.. ehm snake.
Rheta is lending credence to his cause by with her shrieking ehm.. singing.
So far the night is going quite well..

A drum starts beating and goblins start maniacally chanting, " dare, Dare, DAre, DARe, DARE! DARE!! DARE!!!!"

The chief on top of his great throne dramatically raises his hand and the goblins stop chanting in anticipation. He proclaims, "Who among you will take this DARE of DARES and DANCE WITH SQUEALY NORD!!?!?"

Chief sharply points over to a hastily erected pen that you hear loud squealing erupting from and occasionally see goblins being flung out over the side of the pen in addition to loud deadly sounding thumps coming from the inside.

The goblin crowd gasps in anticipation and look around expectantly for volunteers to call out.

The chant start up again, "DARE, DARE, DARE"

fort: 1d20 + 3 ⇒ (9) + 3 = 12 for the cider
hmm, Zarongel like brave goblin.... but he also like fire. Wait to see what happens when fire hits keg! then maybe dance with nord

If most horridly beautified goblin no dance with Nord, then I dance with her!

Reta looks momentarily stunned, not expecting the suggestion, but she quickly recovers and begins belting out her acceptance of the challenge at the top of her lungs.

Reta dance good! Reta not afraid of Squealy! Make Squealy squeek! Yes, yes!

She moves slowly towards the enclosure, flexing her muscles and loosening up her neck and joints.

the hero of Canton Licktoad needs a blowgun! who be brings hero blowgun!

Kalam give me a diplomacy check to see if you can convince someone to give you their prized blowgun. Or feel free to try other methods

Chief Gutwad extends an arm and a pointed finger over the crowd. He slowly waves it left to right over the crowd of gathered goblins. Some goblins flee from his pointed area and others flock to it.
On the third pass over the crowd his finger stops directly pointed at an ecstatic Rheta Bigbad!

Goblins swarm Rheta cheering and pushing her over to the pen. Just outside the pen lay a handful goblins with broken limbs and other grevious injury. There she gets a good look at Squealy Nord.

Nord is a fearsome boar (escaped human's piglet) who is hyperactive and thrashing about a small cage. He is currently being held in place by 10 goblins with ropes holding on for their lives.

Rheta is presented a ladder and ushered up onto Nords back.

The Chief claps his hand and Slorb yells, "DARE GO NOW!"

The goblins let go of the ropes and the gate to the cage flies open and Nord burst into the mini pen arena squealing and jumping to get Rheta off his back.

Rheta is expected to beat the clan record of 18 seconds!

Rheta make 3 ride checks

Reta lets out a goblin war whoop as the dare begins, holding on for dear life.
Ride Check: 1d20 + 11 ⇒ (10) + 11 = 21
Reta big bad squeely beater! Reta gives the pig a whack with her feet.
Ride Check: 1d20 + 11 ⇒ (16) + 11 = 27
Reta make Nord squeal!
Ride Check: 1d20 + 11 ⇒ (12) + 11 = 23
Woooo, squeel for Reta! Reta raises a fist and pumps it into the air in triumph.

I will edit the flavor text if the checks don't make it

Oooo! Rheta ride good! mayhaps I should dance Rheta anyways!

Chief and the goblins are fascinated with the amazing display of Rheta holding on for her life as the "fearsome boar" thrashes around the pen.

Rheta breaks the former record with apparent ease (to the disappointment of the goblin spectators looking to watch someone get thrashed).

Rheta make an attempt to dismount, Reflex save

Chief Gutwad snaps his grizzled knuckles and Slorb runs up to Rheta presenting her with Dragon Brew Gourd elixir of fire breath

The crowd cheers Rheta as their her goblin hero!

Chief Gutwad claps his hands and the crowd calms down again in eager expectation with whispers of, "dare? dare! dare?"

Chief announces, "Next Dare, Eat a Bag of Bull Slugs Real Quick!!!!

A fevered pitch of surprise bursts from the crowd and hideous laughter comes from the cookmaster.

Volunteer?

eat slug dare? it not normal to eat slug? taste good slugs do!

Zoog Eat slugs real quick! Quick quick!

if he gets the opertunity to eat them

Slorb leads Zoog up onto a rise so everybody can watch and hands him a big bag of live giant bull slugs the size of sausages. Even among the goblins, they’re considered particularly foul-tasting and, because of the large amounts of slime they exude, difficult to chew.

There are 6 slugs in the bag and to break the record you need to eat all 6 in under a minute (10 rounds, Eating a slug is a full round action. )

You know that these slugs have a small venomous bladder inside that you can ignore to make your stomaching of them much easier.

Zoog immediately munches 3 slugs down without a problem spitting out the venomous sack.

Your first 3 slugs I am going to say you took the time to spit out the venom sack, your next 3 slugs you can choose

Reta attempts her dismount.

Reflex Save: 1d20 + 3 ⇒ (19) + 3 = 22

And does a tumbling somersault, landing on her feet.

Reta road oh queen! Reta make Nord squeal!

She beams with all the adulation and then settles down to watch the slug eating dare.

I dare the squeal maker kiss slug guzzler

mmm, Slugs squishe like aged shrooms.
fort: 1d20 + 3 ⇒ (13) + 3 = 16
Crunch
fort: 1d20 + 3 ⇒ (17) + 3 = 20
Slurp
fort: 1d20 + 3 ⇒ (14) + 3 = 17
gargle
fort: 1d20 + 3 ⇒ (11) + 3 = 14
spack lips
fort: 1d20 + 3 ⇒ (14) + 3 = 17
Omm
fort: 1d20 + 3 ⇒ (5) + 3 = 8
nom nom
fort: 1d20 + 3 ⇒ (17) + 3 = 20

Zoog eats the bag of nasties with ease and then grabs even more nasties to start shoving down his gullet! Only he did forget to take the venomous bladder out of the last 3 slugs.

Zoog needs to make 1 final fortitude save to not be sickened DC:15
sickened condition: The character takes a –2 penalty on all attack rolls, weapon damage rolls, saving throws, skill checks, and ability checks.

Chief is impressed and pulls out his old slicer "Gorge of Gluttons" and gifts it to Zoog.

Gorge of Gluttons is a +1 dogslicer that functions as a bane weapon when utilized against horses (improving to a +3 dogslicer that inflicts an additional 2d6 points of damage on a successful hit).

Chief informs you that he still owns this slicer and Zoog gets to borrow it only! "Bring back me slicer or I show you my other bigger slicer!"

Chief immediately raises a hand to Slorb for the next dare.
Slorb shouts, "Next we do my favorite, Hide or Get Clubbed!!! or maybe be clubbed anyways! hahaha. Who want hide or clubbed?"

Volunteer make 3 stealth roles

Hiding and cowering in.... *coughs* brazen sneakiness of impending death!? I stick 'em in the eye!

At Kalam's suggestion about kissing, Reta exclaims, Reta not tha kind of Gobbo! Must firsts kill Reta dinner somewheres nice!

At the announcement of the next dare, Reta shoves Kalam forward and with a slight smirk, shouts out, Kalam gobbo sneaky sneaky! No clubbing he get, only hidings! Reta dare Kalam!

GM is waiting on 1 fortitude check from Zoog since he failed to read earlier text about slug bladder

GM is also waiting on Kalam, as he needs to make 3 stealth checks

fort: 1d20 + 3 ⇒ (18) + 3 = 21
Slug bladder add seasoning!

Ah Cheif Honor Zoog. Will feed Glutton with blood and flames!

Zoog handles the slug bladders like a boss. Whatever pain the venom burning in his stomach is causing, he isn't showing a sign of weakness.

Kalam lets get 3 stealth rolls please

Kalam forgets to stuff the cowbell on his neck and it clap, clop, clacks with each step!!!
stealth: 1d20 + 16 ⇒ (1) + 16 = 17
Kalam dances from shadows to shadow
stealth: 1d20 + 16 ⇒ (8) + 16 = 24
not a sound can be heard (cowbell is stuffed with wad of cloth]
stealth: 1d20 + 16 ⇒ (10) + 16 = 26

perception: 1d20 + 8 ⇒ (14) + 8 = 22

Bell good idea. Else no one ever notice him!

The chief gestures to a barrel full of smackers (clubs) and Slorb calls out, " Get smacker, smack hider, GOOO! Hider live, Hider win

All the goblins in the village gather up clubs and rush off into the nearby swamp looking for Kalam.

Everybody roll perception checks.

Zoog 22 vs Kalam 17
Zoog finds Kalam
Zoog roll attack and 1d3 club damage

Mogmurch and Rheta, can you find Kalam?

Other Goblins searching near Kalam: 1d10 ⇒ 9
Goblins perception (taking the highest one)
Other goblins perception: 1d20 - 1 ⇒ (16) - 1 = 15
Other goblins perception: 1d20 - 1 ⇒ (5) - 1 = 4
Other goblins perception: 1d20 - 1 ⇒ (3) - 1 = 2
Other goblins perception: 1d20 - 1 ⇒ (4) - 1 = 3
Other goblins perception: 1d20 - 1 ⇒ (17) - 1 = 16
Other goblins perception: 1d20 - 1 ⇒ (3) - 1 = 2
Other goblins perception: 1d20 - 1 ⇒ (9) - 1 = 8
Other goblins perception: 1d20 - 1 ⇒ (11) - 1 = 10
Other goblins perception: 1d20 - 1 ⇒ (11) - 1 = 10

Fortunately for Kalam even at his worst sneaking moment he is just barely able to not be found by other goblins so he doesnt have to bother rolling more sneaks checks

melee atk: 1d20 + 1 ⇒ (3) + 1 = 4
melee dam: 1d3 + 0 ⇒ (3) + 0 = 3
Confusedly staring at his club

Can club be brocken?

Reta gleefully picks up a smacker and runs off in search of Kalam.

Perception: 1d20 + 9 ⇒ (15) + 9 = 24

Rheta finds Kalam and gets to take a swing!
stealth 24, perception dc:24, Rheta 24 perception (lol)

filthy troll humped weasel breathed dung headed wart nosed pimply mollusks!

they search swamp. me no in swamp. they no find!

stealth: 1d20 + 16 ⇒ (8) + 16 = 24

Reta stumbles upon Kalam and takes a swing with her smacker.

Melee Attack: 1d20 + 3 ⇒ (10) + 3 = 13
Melee Damage: 1d3 + 1 ⇒ (2) + 1 = 3

And whiffs.

Ey, where did hider go? Reta have smacker with Kalam name on it!

Kalam scoops up some mud and dust from the ground and holds it ready to fling in the eyes of the next goblin that may come on him.

attack roll at next goblin to see him with dust: 1d20 + 1 ⇒ (4) + 1 = 5
dust attack done with included -4 for improvised weapon

acrobatics to scoop up sufficient dust: 1d20 + 8 ⇒ (5) + 8 = 13
stealth round 2: 1d20 + 16 ⇒ (16) + 16 = 32
stealth round 3: 1d20 + 16 ⇒ (8) + 16 = 24
stealth round 4: 1d20 + 16 ⇒ (8) + 16 = 24

heading to bed, added extra rounds of dice rolls to not hold you guys up!

Mog leaves his hovel late into the evening, face covered in both saliva and soot from rabid partner and brilliant bangmagicks. The terrible din has roused him from his work. His keen eyes scan the great gathering from under his skull cap and watches Rheta take a swing at something.

Perception to see Rheta's target: 1d20 + 3 ⇒ (10) + 3 = 13
Intelligence check, grasp the situation: 1d20 + 2 ⇒ (9) + 2 = 11

Mog glimpses Kalam and quickly deduces the goblin games afoot.

...but clubs be for comgob, not BOOMMASTER!

Mog reaches into his bootpouch and lights one of his concoctions, lobbing it at Kalam's ugly-soon-uglier mug as he cackles.

BOMB! vs Touch AC: 1d20 + 7 ⇒ (9) + 7 = 16
BOMB! damage: 1d6 + 3 ⇒ (6) + 3 = 9
Minimum damage to those within 5ft

Kalam momentarily disappears under a great FWWWUUUUSH of flame.

Oh god.

Mogmurch is very fortunate he was unable to find Kalam.
perception 13 vs Kalam's original 3rd sneak 26
Mogmurch is fortunate because an attack outside of the game with a smacker on a fellow goblin clansmen would mean chief gutwad would deliver him instant death

Chief Gutwad calls a close to the game and all the goblins are very impressed with Kalam's sneaky skills that allowed him to survive. Goblins whisper, " Kalam only goblin to survive game in long time"
Chief loans Kalam his special magic ring as a prize token. "Ring of go up quick " ring of climbing

Kalam also finds other goblins offering him simple gifts in hopes that he won't want any revenge after the game. Most gifts are foods or alcohol but he is also gifted a swamp breather and shoota' aka blowgun.

The Chief looks for a volunteer for the final dare!

Yes, yes, praise me! All you loud clumsy toad footed wallowing nincomputes! Kalam be sneakiest gobo to ever ... sneak!

Kalam quickly slips on the ring and sidles the blowgun and darts in my belt.

The goblins are delighted to see Mogmurch and volunteer him for the next dare by pushing him forward.

Chief nods and Slorb calls out, "Take him to The Rusty Earbiter!"

All the goblins delightedly push and prod poor Mogmurch back behind the moot house to the Rusty Earbiter.
The Rusty Earbiter is a hollow coil of rusty wires, barrel hoops, bent swords, and thorny branches and vines. It is named for the fact that it's claimed a number of goblin ears in the past.

A group of goblins rush out to prepare the obstacle course and come back a few minutes later with slashed fingers and stabbed legs, not to mention a few loosely hanging ears.

Mogmurch is lead to the entrance of the rusty coils and pushed in by a group of wildly cheering goblins!

Mogmurch you need to make 3 successful escape artist checks DC:15. Each failed check you take 1d4-1 damage. Don't fail too many times or goblins may decide to start throwing rocks at you if they get bored

Mog sizes up the course, not liking thought of missing fingers and ears. Thinking quickly, he deduces a plan. He raises his fists into the air and shouts. Glory to Zarongellll! Mog pulls his Jester's Hat down over his ears, hoping to narrow his profile a little.

Sleight of Hand: 1d20 + 8 ⇒ (4) + 8 = 12
Escape Artist: 1d20 + 8 ⇒ (8) + 8 = 16
Escape Artist: 1d20 + 8 ⇒ (20) + 8 = 28
Escape Artist: 1d20 + 8 ⇒ (11) + 8 = 19

He twists and turns, bends and crawls, jumps and weaves through the maze unharmed! Mog does a cartwheel upon exiting the cruel maze and grins.

Acrobatics: 1d20 + 6 ⇒ (18) + 6 = 24

Goblins all around the tunnel and exit stand in stunned silence, not a cheer to be heard.
A goblin speaks over the silence, " Why he come out? Where the scratches?"

Chief snaps his fingers and that goblin is thrown into the Rusty Earbiter and goblins cheer and throw rocks as he gets scratched torn and stuck.
After a few minutes goblins find it no longer fun and Chief presents Mogmurch with one of his most treasured possessions, Chief's Personal Very Useful Robe That is Useful robe of useful items . On the robe there are 4 patches left, a ladder, three-legged turtle, a horseshoe and a bullhorn.

The Chief nods to Slorb and Slorb announces, "BonFire Done! Dirty Scribbleface bad juju gone! Tomorrow warband go kill Scribbleface and take all fireworks!!! For warband Chief chose: Reta BigBad! Chuffy Lickwound aka Kalam! Poog of Zarongel aka Zoog! and Mogmurch!

The bonfire breaks up and most goblins drunkenly fall asleep all over the village before reaching their own huts.

You awake in the morning and Chief and Slorb are at the side of the village to see you off. Chief tells you, "Get fireworks and bring them here to me". He gives you a map pointing to scribbleface's stash and gives you the rest of scribblefaces fireworks he hasn't used yet: 2 Desnan candels, 4 paper candles, and a sky rocket.

Anybody who drank alcohol make a DC: 10 fortitude save or be sickened
Also those fireworks are awesome, so make sure to claim them then look them up and let me know if you cant find them

fort or sick: 1d20 + 2 ⇒ (12) + 2 = 14
fort or sick pustular: 1d20 + 2 ⇒ (19) + 2 = 21

Kalam applies the snake poison to his darts free action and no chance of self poison due to being blowgun darts

Gathers at village and ready to head out. Kalam stuffs his cow bell with extra rags, silencing it.

I am at trial comp so in and out, in case we head out prior, here is my stealth and perception rolls for the beginning of the hunt assume i'm on point and scouting for the hunt. my general strat will be to cower, hide, climb a tree (yay awesome ring) and shoot darts at bad guys!

stealth: 1d20 + 16 ⇒ (5) + 16 = 21
perception: 1d20 + 8 ⇒ (14) + 8 = 22

Considering fireworks require Alchemy to create, was scribbeface my master?

Mogmurch collects fireworks with no intention of booming. Learning how to make much better. Then LOTS booming. Mog scrunches his face in an unflattery way.

What patches do? Me forget.

Reta makes no claim on the fireworks, saying: Reta not need fireworks. Reta big bad killer.

Fortitude: 1d20 + 4 ⇒ (13) + 4 = 17

Reta is dressed in her armor and has her weapons and gear secured to her person. After the rest of the party collects themselves, Reta says, Reta in front! She see good! Tell if Many Legs Eats Goblin Babies comes.

Going to the place on the map is at least a 2 day march through treacherous swampland's full of nasties

Please pick an activity to focus on and do the associated check:
Kalam: scouting stealth 21, perception 22

Other activities can include:
Map reading (d20 + int mod)
Safe pathing (d20 + survival)
Leadership (d20+cha mod)

I am open to idea's for this section, it may give bonus on the trials ahead

Reta concentrates on finding the safest pathways for the goblin adventurers.

Safe Pathing: 1d20 + 1 ⇒ (7) + 1 = 8

Mog shakes his head muttering.

Me know how survive and learn map good.

Survival: 1d20 + 5 ⇒ (4) + 5 = 9
Intelligence Check: 1d20 + 2 ⇒ (8) + 2 = 10

Stop it! Reta know way through swamp! She big bad pathfinder! Bickering constantly over who can find the best path means that neither Reta nor Mog are particularly successful.

After a full day of traveling through the muddy swamp it is time to camp. Rheta and Mogmurch are busy arguing while Zoog is lost in thought completely oblivious to the terror stirring above them.

Kalam is on his way back to the camp (75 ft away) when he notices something that is large, black and dangerous looking dangling and above the heads of Rheta and Mogmurch. It is rapidly descending down towards them.

Kalam has to make a choice, call out a warning and help his friends possibly avoid getting hit while surprised which loses his chance of remaining hidden.
Or he can sneak up after a 1 full round of movement and hope to make a ranged sneak attack with his blowgun.

(Kalam had enough poison for 3 darts)

Roll initiative!

For when I get to roll...

Initiative: 1d20 + 3 ⇒ (15) + 3 = 18

Initiative: 1d20 + 4 ⇒ (14) + 4 = 18

I think Rheta and Mog are hosed.