Joanna, do you want me to stay with you tonight? We could talk if you need, or I could just hug you till next morning. I don't want you to stay alone.
She takes the young paladin by her shoulders
I'm here, Jo. For you.
Joanna tries to say something, anything. It's too much though, and the young woman collapses into Arsith's arms, sobbing.
Could you please give us some... girl time, Teldon? and close the door behind you, please. I'll take care of her.
says the white haired girl, with a gentle smile, while stroking Joanna's hair.
When the young man is gone, Arsith looks at Joanna
Now, Joanna, we are alone. Just the two of us. You can cry all you need, I'll be there. I won't leave you alone, sweetie pie...
She carefully kisses the paladin forehead and let her cry, or talk, or sleep, as she needs
Teldon sets the drink down on the dresser and closes the door as he leaves. He returns to his room and goes back to translating the Kriegler Book while he looks forward to Briana's return.
Eventually, Joanna calms down, too exhausted and too drained to do anything but cling to Arsith. She doesn't talk through the night, nor does she sleep. Every now and then, Arsith can her Joanna whimper and hold tight to her.
Teldon seems his old self again as he listens to Briana's stories of the fair. He smiles contentedly as they both, freshly cleaned, climb into a proper bed together.
In the morning while everything is being packed and loaded up for the next leg of the journey, he checks on the drink in Jo's room. When he finds it untouched he shakes his head and pours the contents into one of his empty flasks before heading out.
Shadlah frowns at the squalid, reeking man before her, but makes no comments on his appearance or hygiene. "The city holds no love for a child of earth and stone," she says in a low voice, hard as granite and worn by whiskey on the consonants. "I seek to leave it again in the company of others. I heard you might know of an adventuring party that could replace my own."
"Might be I could help yer then... Mebbe I know some people that you would like ter meet... Yeah, mebbe I do", somewhat disturbingly Fenster keeps licking his lips whilst he talks, a grotesquely violet tongue flicking over blackened lumps that may once have been teeth. "Happens I had ter help out some folks not that long back... Looking for someone they said... But I know... Fenster always knows - they was treasure hunters... I could see it in their eyes. I cud tell ya where ta find them but Fenster has to be careful sometimes... I think you shud tell me what happened to yer other adventuring party".
Meeting at their agreed rendezvous point beyond the gates of the town, the friends head southwards from Galduria... With the Festival officially finished, there are many carts and wagons on the trail running alongside the lake - each gaudily painted caravan elicits cries of excitement from Viorec's youngest children... When the time comes to head west into the wilds and away from the main trail, the children are momentarily downcast - but seeing their first ever hill giant (a mile or so to the north of the trail), they soon rediscover the excitement in the journey...
...for several days, through gradually lowering temperatures, the group travel... through wilderness, small pockets of farmed land and the occasional copse they travel until, three days out of Galduria, they catch their first sight of the sea. A twinkling and silvered sight that leaves even Viorec speechless...
The trail heads southwards as it draws alongside the coastline and, after three days of their own company, the travellers encounter a horse drawn carriage heading northwards. The driver of the carriage hails the group as they draw near, "Well met sirs and ladies... You should make Sandpoint before sundown if you keep a brisk pace... From whence do you hail?"
...whilst the driver seems friendly enough, the curtains across the windows of the enclosed carriage remain resolutely closed...
"They won't be a problem." Though her voice is level, pain shows in her eyes, and she absent-mindedly scratches at her shoulder. "There was a trap. I alone made it out. I have stayed here as my repentance, but I yearn for the cool embrace of the earth around me." Meeting Fenster's eyes, she asks, "Where would I find them?"
"Find them? Find them you ask? Well, yer lucky that Ol' Fenster keeps 'is ears to the ground... They got themselves all tangled up with those Tower Girls - went out to the Crow on the Irespan and turfed the Sczarni out... Did a real number on 'em I hear", watching Shadlah follow his every word, Fenster raises the stakes a little, "Seems I'm givin' yer a lotta information... How's about you tell sumfink in return... These friends of yours that got themselves all killed in a trap... Where was that? What were yer lookin' fer? Tell me an' I might just be able to remember where yee can meet up with them treasure hunters"
For a few tiring minutes, the only sound is the scrape of Fenster's tongue against his lips and the staccato pounding of the rain on the warehouse roof. When Shadlah speaks again, it's quiet, barely audible above the storm. "Ragnar had heard of the tomb of Zrosek Thunder-Breaker, a Shoanti warrior who lived and fought among the tshamek and was buried in their custom a week east of Magminar. He knew any contents would be worth a fortune to the right buyer, but specifically sought his earthbreaker, said to sunder Erastil's arrows themselves." She takes a deep breath through her nose, closing her eyes for a few moments. "Perhaps it was a trap, perhaps the tomb was just unstable. But enormous blocks of worked stone now seal the tomb. I know not what guardians still lurk within, or if the legends of his weapon are true, but I pray Ragnar found peace among them."
Teldon does his best all journey to heed Briana's advice and give Jo space, but every night he brings the vial of sleeping tonic to her and implores her to try it. Apart from that effort he seems quite content to spend long stretches of time in silent contemplation while they ride and to devote his attention to Briana as often as she desires it. In the evenings after camp is set he continues his work translating the Kriegler Book. At night when his turn for watch comes he gathers his papers and sits dutifully alone by the fire.
When they encounter the stranger on the road he positions himself near Briana, just in case of trouble but allows her to do the talking.
Joanna takes her place behind the others. Riding twenty or thirty paces behind. She knows it's no use to tell them she was alright. The night at the inn and proven that, so she said nothing as she traveled. The others, it seemed, had decided she need to be alone, to work through whatever it was that had taken a hold of her.
So they left her alone, save Teldon's nightly requests to drink the tonic. All of them answered with the same broken words.
"I can't."
"Tsk, tsk. Are all of Iomedae's followers so lacking in resolve?" Her step=mother's voice cut through the chill wind like a well-honed dagger.
"You're not real," Joanna tells the beautiful, if graying, blonde woman riding beside her, "you're just a trick."
"Yet here I am," the woman answers with a pleasant smile, and earning herself a deadly glare from Joanna.
"My, how frightening," she continues in mock distress, "I suppose that I shouldn't be too afraid, though, your bark is worse than your bite, and that bark is as frightening as a little baby chick."
Joanna turns back around, her head low and her hair falling in front of her face. Was that all she was? Hollow words? What good was her word if it was hollow, false? The wind bites into her, stealing what little warmth she had left. That is when she notices it is gone, the warmth and comfort in the back of her mind that had been there since she'd been ordained, save when she'd faltered in Ravenmoor.
I guess that's my answer.
She didn't cry, she had no more tears to shed, nor even the strength to let out a single sob. She had to do something, though, to bolster herself. She couldn't fall apart now. Not when she'd be a burden. A mantra came to her, one that had been drilled into her by Titus when she first became an acolyte.
"M-my strength comes from my heart..."
"What strength?"
"...n-not m-my s-sword. I-if I l-l-lose my sword..."
"Well, there's no 'ifs' about that."
"...I-I have m-m-merely lost a to-tool. If I betray my heart, I=I have l-lost myself."
"How can you lose something you never had?"
"M-my str-strength comes f-from..."
"Honestly, you are just an empty shell, pretending that you are a real girl, like that puppet in that one play."
"M-my strength c-comes..."
"You follow in the footsteps of a fool, and te teachings of a fool. Do you think Titus cared about you?"
"M-m-my st-st-srength..."
"He didn't, none of them do. Donovan, Titus, and all of the others your father kept around."
"M-m-my s-str..."
"So what are you, Josephina, if not worthless?"
Joanna rides in silence, a single tear falling from her cheek.
Joanna tried to keep her limbs from shaking. She'd had nothing to eat since the feast, and she'd had no sleep since the second night out form Ravenmoor. She was starting to have trouble getting up and getting into the saddle. How much longer, she wonders, how much longer before she couldn't even stand?
Thankfully, her step-mother's ghost, or whatever it was, was nowhere to be found.
Joanna had begun to hope that she'd seen the last of her step-mother after she hadn't appeared the past two days. Things were not all getting better, however. She'd dozed off the night before, only to wake up from the nightmare of Nalathi and Andretti stabbing her again and again. She'd thankfully kept herself from screaming, but she couldn't help but feel despair. She still couldn't sleep, and she was feeling weaker and weaker.
"My, what a pathetic sight you make," Her step-mother said, once more riding beside Joanna.
"Oh yes, quite pathetic," Andretti Kriegler says from a black, gaunt horse that was keeping pace with Joanna's.
"The poor dear, hasn't gotten any sleep at all," her step-mother says in mocking sympathy.
"And it looks like she hasn't been eating. It's a wonder she can even move," Kriegler adds in a similar tone.
"Maybe she's wishing to be as hollow as her words?"
"Or maybe she's hoping that she'll starve and become a martyr?"
"All hail Saint Josephina! The Saint of starvation and stupidity!"
The two of them laugh and continue to mock Joanna. The paladin just rides her horse as it plods along.
That morning, as they were setting out, Viorec had to help Joanna into the saddle. As she was lifted like a little girl, her face burned crimson from the shame she felt as she failed to even manage that much.
Joanna's step-mother and the late Mayor Kriegler rode by her again, insulting her, coming up with lewd comments, and outright attacking her verbally. Not even the carriage's appearance did more than get a tired, "hello," from Joanna.
The news that Sandpoint was not far ahead made Joanna feel a little better. If nothing else, she wouldn't be a burden much longer. She wouldn't be a useless shield or sword for Teldon and the others and they could move on.
They could move on and leave her behind without worrying about her.
”From Galduria? I suppose you have taken in the Festival of Lights… it’s a wonder to behold that’s for sure. You’ve taken the high road rather than heading through Nybor and Wartle? Another month or two and the snows will smother that route for a few months…”, the driver points northwards when Briana asks of his destination, ”I’m headed to the Windsong Abbey myself… We’ll be travelling until tomorrow evening I should think – but my passenger pays well and he… well, he pretty much keeps himself to himself”.
There is little respect in Fenster’s voice when he guffaws at the news of Ragnar’s demise, ”Huh huh huh… Yet another treasure seeker come undone digging around in the past… when yer folk gonna learn? Some fings shud just stay buried… like yer Ragnar”. Catching Shadlah’s disapproving look, Fenster stops his chuckling, ”Okay… deal’s a deal… you wanna meet them folks – way I see it, yer got two options… one is yer go out to the Crow and see if they’re pokin’ around in there – but don’t let no-one see yer… it’s against the rules to explore the Irespan”, Fenster winks at Shadlah as if sharing a knowing secret. ”Or… the high falutin’ man… fink ‘e mussa bin the leader or sumfink… he’s probly gonna be lookin’ for me soon – he needs my stories and my knowings yer see… I cud arrange a meetin’ if yer want”
Fenster looks down once more at the ‘gift’ that Shadlah left for him, ”S’gonna cost yer a bit more tho”
"Մտածել եք, բնավ մասին, թե ինչ եք ուզում անել, դնելու մեր բարեկամը հանգստանալու," Teldon asks Brina, "Ես չեմ կարող պատկերացնել, բոլորն էլ , լինելով լավ է դիտարկելով իր ժողովրդի սովորութիւն ... Միգուցե մենք պետք է գնանք նրա հետ, եւ հետեւել սովորույթները եկեղեցու?"
"I can't imagine everyone else being alright with observing her people's custom... Perhaps we should go with him and follow the customs of the Abbey?"
Windsong Abbey, hadn't she heard of it before? She was almost certain that Titus had mentioned it once before. It didn't really matter, she was just trying to ignore the two riders that only she could see and hear.
"Oh look Andretti, I do believe she's ignoring us," Her step-mother says.
"I believe you're right, but I don't think it matters. She's probably wishing she'd taken my offer of marriage," the late mayor of Ravenmoor replies.
Joanna feels her shoulders tensing as Andretti leans in, his breath warm on her neck.
"I could have made you my queen. I could have made it so we were happy. Who knows, I might have been able to bring your mother and father back," he whispers in her ear.
"'S a lie," Joanna mutters to herself, but nearly two weeks of no food or sleep had worn on her; there was no conviction in her words, and she feels the knowing smiles the two share as she continues to fight the exhaustion she feels.
"Oh Josephina, How foolish you are. I would have done anything for you."
"I could have made you great."
"I could have made you happy."
"I could have made you into something more than a hollow girl of hollow words."
"I could have made you live forever."
"There was no need for Nalathi to die."
"You should have surrendered."
"You should have been the one on the back of that cart, dead."
"But what should you expect from someone incompetent?"
"Nothing, nothing but utter uselessness."
"Perhaps the false goddess doesn't demand much."
"The Usurper Whore only demands idiocy, I'm afraid."
"Oh, for shame, and I had thought she was smarter than that."
"She did kill you, Andretti."
"True, she did, and the rest of Ravenmoor."
"Oh yes, they are all going to die."
"Yes, and it is all her fault."
The two of them force Joanna's head up to look at them and the cold, deadly malice in their eyes after finishing their little exchange.
"And yet you run away," they say in unison, "You always run away. Coward. You always run away, just like your mother, and your father, and Brother Titus."
Joanna's cry cuts across the conversations going on between the driver, Briana, and Teldon. As she realizes what had just happened, and that both her step-mother and Andretti Kriegler are gone, a wild look settles in her eyes. She looks form all of them, From Teldon, whose help she could not accept, to Arsith, who stayed with her night after sleepless night, to Briana, who'd become more like herself since leaving Ravenmoor, to the Korzhas and Shel, to Ziomarra, who'd ben quiet and introspective since fleeing Ravenmoor.
Panic wells up in her heart. She hears nothing but the rush of her blood in her ears. She had to get away. She had to get away now! She whips the reins and guides her horse through the the others and gallops off down the road. Further and further she runs. She doesn't care about anything in that moment but getting away, to run as far as she can.
===
It was nearly dark when she came to the last bend in the road before Sandpoint. She struggles to stay upright, to keep her eyes open. Her body sways, causing her horse to canter this way and that. She only had to hold on for a few more minutes. Only a little longer until it didn't matter.
The world turns sideways as Joanna overbalances. She tries to correct herself, but she was too weak, and the pull of gravity too strong. She hits the road and rolls a few feet before finding herself face down on the ground. She could feel where her shoulder had hit the ground, the cold air stinging the scrap through the hole her tumble had ripped into her sleeve. She saw her horse canter away before stopping at the bend several dozen yards off.
There was nothing for it, she'd just have to get up. She moves to get her hands where she could push off the ground, or rather she tries to, only to find she can't. She can't move and she can barely talk or look. She is helpless and alone.
"The world would be a better place with you dead," she heard her step-mother say.
Joanna doesn't even have the strength to cry anymore. All she can do is lie and wait for her life to end.
Joanna, her strength gone, lies supine for what feels like hours... her grip to life failing almost as quickly as her clutch on reality...
...a buzzing noise, like a thousand angry mosquitoes, fills the air...
...the trees that line the trail shed their leaves and, blackening before Joanna's eyes, writhe in torment...
...just ahead of her prone form, something large and black crunches to the ground - standing upon six insectile legs, Kriegler's offspring regards Joanna with its cluster of compound eyes... the stench of decay, the dry taste at the back of her mouth, the overpowering aura of death...
...the prehensile stinger is raised like an executioner's axe above Joanna... ready to slam downwards and end it all...
Fool. For someone who seems to have so much guilt over her past actions she certainly hasn't learned anything from them.
"Wait!" Teldon calls out as Arsith grabs her reins and prepares to charge off after Jo, "We cannot abandon Viorec and his children, or Shel. They trusted their lives to us because we told them we would lead them safely away. We'll ride as quickly as the wagon can manage and catch her when she stops or we reach Sandpoint."
Turning his attention briefly back to the coachman he adds, "Pardon us, we seem to be in a hurry."
Joanna looks up at the monstrous thing, her eyes already dead. Even that small act took what little she had left, and her head falls to the ground.
"So this is my fate, to die helpless, alone, and broken," she says, giving a mirthless chuckle at the futility of her actions. "And just to make sure I didn't miss the point, someone has decided to show me that all of them died in vain."
Joanna lay there, her eyes unfocused and dull. She could feel her heart beating in her chest and hear the wind through the dead and dying trees. She waited for a moment, waited for the sharp pain that would end her, but it did not come.
"Why do you wait? Why do you not end the hollow girl of hollow words? Isn't that why you came," she asks, a note of anger in her voice. "I lay broken at your feet, take your revenge! Take your damned revenge and die!"
Anger and grief overwhelm her, she slowly curls up and cries as the wind bites deeper, sapping the warmth from her.
"What good am I," she screams in anguish. "Why did they have to die?! Why did Nalathi have to die? Why did Papa leave me alone?"
Sobs shake her body as the tears come hard and fast. A wordless cry of pain echos off the bare limbs and branches as Kriegler's spawn stands forgotten above the paladin as she crumbles under the weight of her grief and madness.
At Fenster's chuckles and harsh words, Shadlah clenches her fist. Her knuckles make a sound like a stone slab cracking, and for a brief moment, she feels the earth waiting, silent, for her command. It would be all too easy...
Then with a deep breath, it passes. Her hand relaxes slightly, the tattoos shifting across her knuckles and wrist.
"A meeting would be best," she intones. "It is, as you say, against the rules to explore the Irespan. I frequent the Burly Griffon in Ordellia; they can find me there." Casting her eyes to the statuette, she asks stiffly, "What is your price?"
Twice the jagged stinger touches Joanna's neck, gently coming down as if measuring and weighting the inevitable killing blow - a cloying, dark atmosphere descends over the road... Joanna's world reduces to just herself and Kriegler's offspring...
"As you wish," Teldon replies to Briana with a sigh. "I'll catch up to her and do my best to keep her safe..." as usual "you all stay with the Korzhas and I'll see you when you catch up with us."
He turns and rides hard after the lost young paladin.
When he comes upon her he hops off his horse and brushes away the stirge. Without trying to rouse her or ask any questions he draws the sleeping tonic and pours it down her barely conscious throat. "Rest, the others will be here soon." Lashing up the horses he grabs his spear and stands guard over Jo until they arrive.
Joanna just waits, until she feels someone pulling her up and onto her back. Her ees widen when she sees Andretti Kriegler with some foul brew in his hand and an evil smile on his face. He says nothing as he easily overpowers her in her weak and pathetic state and forces her to drink deeply.
===
Teldon finds that as he turns her over, and she sees him, Joanna begins to struggle weakly against him. It's a testament to how weak Joanna had become that he has to do almost nothing to force her to drink the sleeping tonic. She coughs after it goes down, her body jerking with each one.
===
Joanna opens her eyes after she'd coughed from some of whatever it was goes down the wrong way. Instead of a manic Kriegler, she sees a stern-faced Teldon. She feels the pull of sleep, but she fights it as she tries, and fails, to reach for him, to know that he was real.
"I=I'm s-sor--" she begins to say before she loses her battle to stay awake and two tears stream down her sunken cheeks. Her breathing is shallow, but steady as she falls into a deep sleep.
sorry for what? for how much? he earnestly, almost hopefully, wonders as he waits for the others to catch up.
There were several hours left in the day, Shadlah figures, pulling her cloak back over her broad shoulders and shaved head as she faces the rain again. Perhaps she could pay Billivin a visit after all.
Some things should stay buried... like yer Ragnar. Fenster's words echo in her mind. So easy for him to say; he hadn't spent those long and loathsome days trying to free him, hadn't heard the faint cries for help as they faded...
Her fists clench again, and she makes her way over a stone wall rather than walk around it, her hands melding with the stone and carrying her near-effortlessly over it - only the rain made it harder. From there, it was a simple matter of keeping to the slim alleyways that felt so safe now, and finally coming back to the streets of Ordellia.
She decides to try her hand at finding Billivin, in her own direct way - by heading to the nearest tavern and stating her goal bluntly in the hopes someone will help.
Too bluntly, in retrospect.
"I can't be certain," Teldon replies, "I'm not skilled at reading the subtle signs trackers follow... Based on the bruises, I'd guess she finally collapsed from exhaustion while riding and fell of the horse. She's sleeping soundly now. We'll have to make some room in the back of the wagon for her, and she could maybe use some healing..."
Joanna has perhaps never seemed so childlike as when Teldon scoops her up in his arms and carries her over to the wagon. As soon as enough space is cleared he lays her down carefully.
The driver of the coach raises an eyebrow as first Joanna gallops off and then, in quick pursuit, Teldon follows... He begins to ask a question, to ask whether Briana and Arsith's friends are always like this, when a sharp rapping against the roof of the carriage indicates his passenger has become impatient... "Sorry folks... I'm getting paid good coin for this trip so the customer comes first... Happy travels... and I hope you catch up with your friends". Spurring his horses to action, he waves a farewell at the friends and at the Korzhas who have sat quietly through the entire scenario... content to play the 'simple villagers'.
...and, as the carriage passes by, a leather clad hand - festooned with cruel looking jewellery, pushes the curtains aside ever so slightly... not enough to see inside but enough for whoever is in the black confines of the carriage to survey the scene...
After a short distance, the Korzha's wagon catches up with Teldon and with Joanna... and with Applesauce who has retreated into the undergrowth... Ornigaard protests his innocence... says he definitely didn't know that the stirge was following them... but, after a little bit of quizzing from his father and being reminded of the importance of honesty, he finally admits to having brought him - normally hidden in a crate beneath a tarpaulin.
After helping to ensure Joanna is safely on the wagon, and wondering aloud as to whether he can possibly sneak a stirge into Sandpoint, he sets the wagon in motion...
...and, an hour later - with the sun dipping towards the horizon, the friends arrive at Sandpoint...
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"Viorec, if you wish to settle here we can make some inquiries in the morning... for now let's get settled and get a good night's rest."
After checking in at the Rusty Dragon, and carrying Jo to her room, Teldon joins Briana in their room. He seems nervous again, in a way he hasn't since their first days as a couple. "I... uhhh... I made you something..." he stammers, "do you remember when we first got to Ravenmoor? You said that you had never really given studying history much of a chance? Well, it occurred to me that I had... umm... never really given art much of a chance either... So... I made you this..." he pulls a neatly rolled up piece of paper from his pack and hands it to her. "That stack of papers I bought... each night during my watch I've been working on this... that's the best one..."
When she unfurls it she finds an illustration of herself and Nalathi smiling and eating on the sofa in Heidmarch Manor. It is not an imaginative piece but rather a surprisingly accurate drawing of the breakfast they all shared there what seems like a lifetime ago. "I had planned to draw you sitting at the table that night we first had dinner in Magnimar, but with everything that has happened, I thought maybe... maybe this would be better."
Joanna needs some rest, some good food, and water. I'll do my best to get her back in shape, physically and emotionally. We'll be sharing a room, so I can keep an eye on her.
Aristh starts by putting Joanna in the bed for a good sleep, removes her armor and ask a servant of the Rusty Dragon for a warm bath and good meals two hours later.
Two hours after, Arsith gives Joanna a long, warm bath, washing her delicately, then brushing her hair.
Every gesture is gentle and kind, and there is much love showed by Arsith: not in a kinky way, but in a caring, nearly motherly way.
And finally, they takes an healthy meal together.
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Joanna doesn't stir through the trip to Sandpoint, being taken to a room at the Rusty Dragon, or being tucked in for the night. The young girl sleeps soundly for the first time since arriving in Ravenmoor.
Joanna lay broken on the glass smooth surface of the lake, a mortal wound over her heart. Her armor, her shield, and her arms lay broken around her. Her blood seeps into the water of the lake, staining it red and turning the water murky. A single tear flows down her cheek as she lay there, dying.
This is it, she thinks to herself, I'll die here. My body may live, but I will be dead.
Slowly, Joanna closes her eyes, letting the the cold take over her body.
"Why do you give up so easily," a voice asks her.
"Is it giving up when you've given all you have," Joanna answers.
"You still live, you still breath," the voice tells her, "why do you lie there? Are you so weak-willed?"
"Look at me," Joanna snaps, anger cracking in her voice, "I've failed! I let them die! I let them die because I wasn't good enough."
A hand brushes away the tears on her face, she opens her eyes to see Iomedae kneeling over her, her eyes full of sorrow and pain. The pain of someone who has seen countless people she cared for die.
"You feel them," she says quietly, "You feel the deaths of those you failed to save, the deaths of those you fought. And the weight is crushing you."
Joanna feels the tears come, and all she can do is slowly nod. She did feel them, and with Nalathi gone, and the way she'd been acting, she was scared that she'd be alone once more.
"Please," she begs her goddess, [/b]"please make it stop hurting."[/b]
"I can't," Iomedae tells her sadly, "pain is a part of living, even the pain of grief. But it does go away, if you let it."
"How can I--"
"There's more than Nalathi's and the others' deaths weighing on you. What of the death of your father, or your mother? They weigh on you as much as any of the deaths at Ravenmoor. How you were treated by your half-sisters and your step-mother has only made things worse in many ways."
Iomedae gently pulls Joanna up so that the young paladin leaned against her. One hand goes to the grave wound over her heart and a warm, golden light heals the wound.
"But you are not worthless, Joanna. You helped give some young women a new lease on life. You helped exposed a cult of an evil god and free a village from its grasp. You saved a young girl from being sacrificed by that cult. Let these be you acts, not the failures you see so clearly."
"What about Teldon? He must believe me mad, now."
"Talk to him. He's not an unreasonable person. Besides, I believe that young Briana is having an effect on him."
Joanna manages a weak chuckle at that.
"Take the time you need to heal, but know that things are afoot, my little knight. You'll be asked to endure much more than this, and you must be strong."
"How? How can I be strong."
"By putting one foot in front of the other, by getting up one more time. You may stumble, even fall, but if you keep getting up, keep moving, then you will find your strength. There is no shame in tears, and there is no disgrace in grieving."
Joanna repeats the words, as she slowly slips into unconsciousness, "There is no shame in tears, and there is no disgrace in grieving."
Joanna wakes up, slowly and shakily setting up. She looks to see Arsith sitting by her bed, and in a second, the younger woman is crying into her shoulder.
"I miss them," she sobs, "I miss my momma and papa!"
crying is a sign of negative emotions... but she seems very happy with the drawing... unless she was being sarcastic, but she really seemed sincere...
Teldon's mind spins as he struggles to fully understand what is happening. The confusion only lasts a moment, though, as the warmth of her body pressed against his, the sensation of her soft, smooth skin brushing against his, and the now familiar floral scent that seemed to always linger in her hair overwhelmed his senses. He hugged her back. He held her firmly enough, he hoped, that she would know that he would go on holding her forever if that was what she wanted. He stands, silently, holding her tightly, letting her cry, and listening attentively to anything she has to say, until she is done.
When the time comes, he contentedly climbs once more into a soft proper bed, wraps himself around Briana and drifts into a deep and blissful sleep.
In the morning, he rises early and heads downstairs. He orders breakfast to be sent up to everyone's rooms and a sausage and some fruit for himself to eat as he walks. Talking his food, he makes his way to Savah's Armory where he picks up one of the nicer longswords for sale- one with a narrow grip well-suited for a woman's hand. After that he heads to the townhall to inquire after any farms for sale, or suitable lots that might be available. Armed with whatever information that yields, he heads back to check on the others.
Even though it is relatively early in the day, the tavern is fit to bursting… and, from the songs, the shouting and the fact that several gnomes have seemingly passed out at their table, the drinking starts early here… or maybe it never stops. Without thinking too much about whom to ask, Shadlah approaches the nearest drinkers… two dwarves in the middle of a card game… the piles of coins in front of them are far from equally sized – and it is the dwarf who has the smallest pile that barks a response to Shadlah, ”Yer interruptin’ here… I ain’t no damned guide… what yer even askin’ fer? What yer wantin’ with Billivin? Something powerful to make yer hair grow back?”
The other dwarf, watching with an amused look on his face, chuckles…
With Magnimar but a day or two’s ride away, the horrors of Ravenmoor are starting to fade… but there is still much to do – Teldon’s first enquiries within the town as to whether there are any farmsteads to purchase in the area are met with bemusement… at least until he explains that it is not he who would be working the farm. As it turns out, there are two properties for sale… both are relatively small livestock farms within two miles of Sandpoint however they do seem to command wildly differing prices. The first, “Coastal Vista” is for sale with an initial price of 1,000gp whereas the second, the grandly titled “Fentamans Estate”, is up for 2,100gp. Asking around, Teldon discovers that the lower priced of the properties – currently standing empty after the previous occupants returned to Magnimar – is reputedly haunted.
At some point during the morning, Shel approaches Briana asking for a quiet word – away from the Korzhas, she seems close to tears, ”It’s not that I’m not grateful… of course I am, Mr Korzha has been so kind… but I don’t think I can stay here, not with them – they’ll remind me of what used to be home and, oh… it’s just too much hurt for me to take”. The young Lupescu girl, who seems to have aged considerably in the last few days, begs of Briana, ”Please… please can I come with you to the city… to a new life? Somewhere that won’t remind me of what I’ve lost”
Arsith keeps Joanna in her arms as she starts sobbing, trying to do her best to confort her.
How I understand you, sweetie pie.... Our parents are so important to us.They are the first to love us,and the first we love... You can tell everything you have in your heart, I'm here for you, to listen to you if you need to talk. Now or later, you'll always find me by your side, in moments of war and in moments of peace. You are not alone. You're worth of love, but first you have to learn to love you back again, sweetie pie.
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Joanna cries for a while, sometimes managing to get a sentence or two out about how sorry she was for how she had been acting or how she missed Nalathi or her parents. Mostly, though, she said nothing and let the grief go on a stream of tears.
===
Joanna wiped her eyes, feeling better now that she had a good night's sleep and some time to grieve properly.
"Thank you," she tells Arsith quietly, "I needed that."
She curls up on the bed, ignoring her complaining stomach for the moment and bringing her knees under her chin.
"I never got to know my momma," she tells Arsith, "she died giving birth to me, despite all the priests could do for her. She was a priestess of Iomedae and from what my papa always told me, she loved him very much. My papa knew he couldn't raise a child on his own, even with the help of a governess, so he married my step-mother." Joanna's eyes take a downcast look as she continues, "a couple of years after he had remarried, my half-sisters were born. For a while, I thought they were my mother and sisters. It wasn't until I was six when the two of them got made at me for something and told me I didn't have a real mother."
"My step-mother didn't care much about how I felt, but my papa did. He held me as I cried and told me about my momma. He was always gone months at a time, and he cared for all three of us, but I was the one he always took to meet his friends and business associates. I was always the one he told stories to of far off places. For a little while, things were happy, even with Papa gone for months at a time. He always came back and he always hugged me when he came home."
"Then he got sick," Joanna says, her voice cracking just a little, "He came home, hugged me, and told me he was sorry he couldn't do much right then. I could tell he was tired, but none of us knew how ill he was. Over the next few weeks, I watched as my papa died in his bed. He would speak to the others, but for those weeks, he spent hours telling me stories, about momma, about his trips, about his childhood. I listened to it all, and Brother Titus made sure that I could listen without worry or interruption."
"When he died, I was alone. Brother Titus always treated me like I was his own, but even with him, I was alone. I spent the next four years cut off form the few friends I had and all of my father's contacts in the city. My step-mother had turned my parent's home into my prison. When I was finally of age, I was so excited. I was finally going to be able to meet new people and make new friends. I hadn't counted on my half-sisters, though. After the first few outings, I dreaded going on them. The only family I had walled me off with rumors and lies. Girls my age considered me trash and the boys were worse, constantly trying to get into my skirts."
"So, I pursued the path my momma had taken. I became one of Iomedae's priestesses. Titus trained me, though my step-mother was never happy about it. She couldn't do anything, though, and on the day I turned seventeen, I was ordained into IOmedae's church. I left home and joined the Pathfinders shortly after that."
Joanna smiles as she remembers how the group had met, "For the first time in six years, I felt like I belonged. I met people I could call friends and could confide in," the smile fades as she continues, "but when we went to Ravenmoor, something came over me. I was afraid. I was terrified. Then we found Nalathi. Suddenly my fear had something very really to latch on to. I was terrified of being alone again. Then the fight with Kriegler, the monster that came out of him, and all of the fear and anguish that had been building just swallowed me up. I was afraid, truly afraid that I would be alone again, because it was my fault that I got Nalathi and all the others killed."
"Then came the nightmares and hallucinations. I was afraid to sleep, and I didn't eat, and, well, you can see what happened."
Joanna takes in a deep breath, letting it out slowly.
"I need to apologize to everyone, and I need to talk to Teldon, but first, I need something to eat. I fear I'll have a revolt on my hands if I deny my belly any longer."
Joanna laughs for the first time in almost two weeks. It wasn't much more than a chuckle, but it was genuine and full of warmth.
===
Having eaten a large lunch/breakfast, Joanna finds Teldon and asks. "Teldon, may I talk to you for a moment."
Jo finds Teldon on his way into the common room as he returns from his morning errands. "Of course," he replies, not so subtly making observations of her eyes, face, and hands, "it's good to see that you've finally gotten some sleep and some food. Is one of these tables suitable? Or should we go upstairs? I'm sure Briana wouldn't mind us talking while she finishes preparing for the day..."