Whispering to his crew, "I'll sneak up and cut it's throat, then we won't have to worry about it. If it wakes up...Help Chief Chuffy!"
The fat pig survives Chuffy's attack and wakes up. She remains prone on the ground, too slow to react before the goblins get a chance to move.
Round 1 - Turn progression:
Chuffy
Reta
Poog
Mogmurch
Princess Crackling (Prone)
"I no can hit pig! Chief in way!"
Mogmurch flails his arms about, lacking a better plan of action. For now, he leaves things up to the chieftain.
Mogmurch doesn't know what to do, and leaves things up to chieftain Chuffy.
Round 1 - Turn progression:
Chuffy
Reta
Poog
Mogmurch
Princess Crackling
Poog takes a 5ft step to the SW.
"You choose other weapons too in future!
I do nice trick, holds still bacon!"
Poog casts Hold Animal, DC 14 will or paralyzed for 3 rounds.
Poog succeeds in paralyzing the bacon, which is now extra vulnerable for Chuffy's attack.
Round 1 - Turn progression:
Chuffy
Reta
Poog
Mogmurch
Princess Crackling (Paralyzed + Prone)
Chuffy holds, waiting to see if the spell takes effect. If it does, he will coup de grace again, if not he will attack it while it is still down. "Tribe will love bacon!"
With the bacon paralyzed Chuffy performs a sneaky attack that kills it.
The entrance is still blocked by the bacon, but with some pushing the goblins move it aside and enter the broken floater.
There's another, incredibly filthy, pig inside the broken floater. Reta's the only one to recognize the fearsome and savage fiend that once lived with them in the Licktoad village, but who escaped several weeks ago: Squealy Nord!
After Squealy's flight into the wild he was captured by Pa, who’s been fattening him up to make some bacon and pig’s feet. Squealy Nord recognizes the goblins and lives up to his name, squealing excitedly as he tugs at his chain in a frantic attempt to rejoin the goblins. He’s come around in his way of thinking, after all—it’s better to be a goblin tribe’s plaything than an ogre’s supper!
The dead bacon has two gourds of fire burping on a cord around her neck. Among the chewed feed in and around the pen are some inedible items.
Mogmurch's ecstatic when Reta reveals the filthy pig to be Squealy Nord: "Ogre never beat us now! Where we go, chieftain?"
Poog casts for 1 round Talk to Animals.
Hello. We no eat you, we free you. You fight with us, is great.
Be quiet, or ogre comes out before we can kill ogre. You help kill ogre, you great hero to goblin tribe.
Squealy Nord calms down after Poog's reassuring words, and stops his squealing.
Squealy Nord pushes its snout against each of the goblins, urging them to get moving. The fearsome pig looks like he's eager to find something... or someone.
"Poog suggest little cabin."
At Poog's suggestion the heroes and Squealy Nord move to the little cabin.
This flimsy structure seems to have started out as a workshed, but its sagging walls have been almost entirely overtaken by rampant plantlife.
This pen is where Pa Munchmeat performed the majority of his magical research into growing the materials he needed for gourds of fire burping. Now that he’s perfected the technique, he’s let the vines and tubers lie fallow, but the plants have been growing more quickly than he anticipated.
Mogmurch dives into the plantlife and completely disappears. when he pops up from in between the vines he holds up two gourds of fire burping. "We too now burp fire!"
"We go to big house after?"
The goblins sneak up to the house with Squealy Nord. The door is swollen shut with dampness and requires some strength to open.
"Help here."
After ten failed attempts to headbutt the door into submission, Mogmurch manages to open the door with another headbutt. He triumphantly, and with a headache, stumbles into the house. "Mogmurch open door!"
The floor of this filthy chamber is made of rough floorboards. Numerous gaps between them show a dark space below the building. A large pile of furs and straw is heaped to the south, and a huge trap door sits in the very center of the room. To the west, a single ill-fitting door hangs askew on a single hinge.
Inside the living room is a giant ferret. As soon as the goblins enter the room the ferret looks up at them and snarls.
Round 1 - Turn progression:
Chuffy
Poog
Mogmurch
Squealy Nord
Spike
Reta
Mogmurch throws a bomb at the ferret. "Boom!"
Squealy Nord moves over to the ferret and attacks the ferret with a deadly bite. "Squeal! Oink!"
"Poog try firetrick."
Chuffy dashes off to the side, "Stoopid! No fight Chiefs and subchiefs. We wreck your face!"
Mogmurch's bomb deals heavy damage to the ferret, and Squealy Nord adds a nasty wound. It's not exactly clear what Poog's trying to do, but he sure does produce some neat sparkles. It's the chieftain who finishes the job with a deadly slash, cutting the ferret's head off before it can even attack.
After the ferret drops to the floor the door in the western wall opens, and a female humonoid with blue skin, completely blue eyes, and a mouth that's far too large for her face appears in the door opening. "Spike! No!" she shouts, revealing her sharp teeth.
She points at Chuffy "You! Guffy avenge spike! Guffy kill you!"
It is then that Guffy notices Reta, and changes her mind. "You have bigger head! Guffy kill you first!"
Round 1 - Turn progression:
Mogmurch
Poog
Reta
Guffy
Chuffy
Squealy Nord
"Reta careful! She no like your head!"
Mogmurch takes another one of his bombs, and throws it at Guffy. "Mogmurch destroy her head first!"
Poog grabs 1 of his javelins and throws it at the blue ugly one.
Mogmurch's bomb hits Guffy's head. The blast of the bomb removes one of her ears, making her even more hideous and scary to look at.
"Argh! Guffy kill you after big head!" Guffy yells at Mogmurch.
Directly after yelling at Mogmurch, Poog throws a javelin at the blue (and ugly) ogre.
"Guffy get you too!" the ogre woman yells at Poog, the javelin stuck in her forehead.
Round 1 - Turn progression:
Mogmurch
Poog
Reta
Guffy -7 HP
Chuffy
Squealy Nord
Reta moves over to Guffy and swings her flaming dogslicer at the ogre. The attack misses.
"Guffy take head! Give it!" Guffy draws a morningstar and swings it at Reta. Her attack also misses.
Squealy Nord moves in to help Reta fight Guffy, but the fearsome pig's bite also misses the ogre.
Round 1 - Turn progression:
Mogmurch
Poog
Reta
Guffy -7 HP
Chuffy
Squealy Nord
Round 2 - Turn progression:
Mogmurch
Poog
Reta
Guffy -7 HP
Chuffy
Squealy Nord
Poog attemps another firebolt.
Chuffy takes off and begins to tumble through the area that Guffy threatens.
Then with a quick slash, he attempts to rend the woman from the inside out, slamming his blade through her.
Poog attempts another firebolt, but fails again. Reta feels a nice, warm breeze though.
Chuffy takes of and, with a great show of acrobatics, arrives at Guffy's other side without provoking an extra attack. Together with Reta the chieftain chops of pieces of ogre.
Mogmurch also tries melee for once, but it's evident he doesn't know how to handle a club. He hits the wall.
Realizing she doesn't stand a chance against the goblins Guffy looks for a way to escape. With the goblins and Squealy Nord blocking her only escape route Guffy concludes she can only fight. Guffy swings her morningstar at Reta's head, but despite its enormous size Guffy misses Reta's head. "Go away! Guffy scared!"
Squealy Nord bites Guffy's ankle, and the ogre screams in pain: "Guffy out! Guffy want out!"
Round 2 - Turn progression:
Mogmurch
Poog
Reta
Guffy -21 HP
Chuffy
Squealy Nord
Round 3 - Turn progression:
Mogmurch
Poog
Reta
Guffy -7 HP
Chuffy
Squealy Nord
"Mogmurch take you down! Bwahahaha!" Mogmurch shouts, cackling like the crazed goblin he is. He then swings his club again, and inflicts more pain to the shack's wooden wall.
"Grrr"
Mogmurch hurts the shack's wall, and Poog snarls unimpressively. Guffy frowns at Poog.
"You weird goblin! No one scared of that!" Guffy says, looking quite weird herself with the javelin still stuck in her forehead.
Round 2 - Turn progression:
Mogmurch
Poog
Reta
Guffy -21 HP
Chuffy
Squealy Nord
Round 3 - Turn progression:
Mogmurch
Poog
Reta
Guffy -21 HP
Chuffy
Squealy Nord
Chuffy grins, "Chuffy no need you be scared. You be dead!"
With that, he slashes her again.
Chuffy assures Guffy there's no need to be scared anymore, and slashes at her again. His attacks cuts clean through Guffy's neck and Guffy's head is launched into the air.
When Reta joins in with her own attack she misses the remaining part of Guffy's body, which collapses onto the floor. Before Reta can put away her flaming dogslicer Guffy's decapitated head lands on the weapon. Two dead ogre eyes stare at Reta, and the javelin finally falls on the floor.
A huge, bloodstained table sits in the center of this filthy kitchen, and to the south lies a heap of furs arranged in the rough approximation of a mattress. The place reeks of rotten meat from numerous poorly executed taxidermy projects that lie scattered around the room, including partially stuffed pigs, birds, bobcats, and even a goblin body with a mass of bloody straw and sticks protruding from its neck instead of a head.
"Old Chief's armor should be Chuffy's armor. Chuffy not need cloak!"" With that he tosses the cloak aside and begins to quickly strip down to put on the other armor.
"Someone wear cloak. It's magic."
"Let's go!"