"Okay, we can start with the Erymanthian. You understand why we might be need to do the other parts too though, right? But I promise, you wont be alone through any of them.
"Is there anything we talked about that you still want to keep secret? I'm not promising that I will - a lot of this could be really important for people to know, but if there is, I'd love to hear your reasons."
***
She made a face at Shayera's message before she realized she wasn't alone. The breastplate was nearly finished, but she really wanted to give the patch proper hardening and a matching finish so it didn't stick out so much as a weak point, and if she couldn't do that now...
Well, it's only a couple hours of gas wasted. Honestly I'll probably be able to salvage a lot of it, might even be less time than I'm afraid of.
"Guess it's time to wrap up then. We'll be there soon Swee-ingblade" Her entire face scrunched up in embarrassment at her Team Channel faux pas, but she just started packing up her tools and gear, willing the rest of the world not to have heard it.
"Yea' yea', I know...still debatin' which I wanna do less...an', uh, Bron...th-thanks, f'this, I guess..." A little pink creeping into his cheeks, Shaun turns away and clears his throat.
"Well, I'd appreciate ye' not just tellin' anybody 'bout any of this. I mean, tell who y'need ta', but if Mordecai or Bert just randomly come up askin'bout my...I dunno, "magic health" or some s!+&, I'm gonna know it came from ya'. An'...I...look, if ye' could keep Cass out of this as much as y'could, I'd appreciate him. Nothin' against her mind, exact opposite. It's just...I feel like this is a little too close ta' home f'her, y'know? I don't wanna freak her out..." He really hoped he wasn't as flushed as he felt.
- - -
When Wingblade's comm comes in, Shaun is putting the finishing touches on his fourth dagger of the day. He sputters out a laugh as Bronwyn nearly slips up. "(KehaHAHA!) Yea' Wing, we're on our way(-hehehe!)." A hand over his mouth, he gives Bronwyn a puckish glance. "Aw-hahaw, how adorable! Ta' romance of ta' ages! He-HA!"
Still chuckling good-naturedly, he starts packing the smithing duffel when his phone chimes. Hm?...oh, message from Bert. Let's see...
<(SHAUN)
<(WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL US?)
He blinked. Wait, what? Didn't tell them what? They knew I was a hero, they knew about the park fight. What are they talking about?
(???)>
(tell u wat?)>
<(ARE YOU SERIOUS?)
<(THE FIGHT!)
(wat fite?)>
<(THE SUPERFIGHT!)
(...bert, did u eat some of those brownies?)>
(the 1s that the dred kid at lunch was selling?)>
(I told u not to)>
(bert those had drugs in them)>
<(I'M NOT HIGH! LOOK!)
The next text was an image, a hastily-taken picture of a certain colorful flyer. Displayed prominently was a certain name that definitely should not have been there.
"...WHAT TA' F$&$?!"
(WAT THE F$&&?)>
(BERT I SWEAR 2 GOD IF THIS IS FAKE...)>
<(IT'S NOT I SWEAR!)
<(So this isn't you?)
(OF COURSE IT ISNT ME!)>
(IM A HERO)>
(NOT A PAPERVIEW GOON)>
<(*pay-per-view)
(DO NOT B THAT GUY RIGHT NOW)>
<(Sorry...)
(where did u find that?)>
<(At school. It was the daily buzz, but we missed it because of Odysseus's initiation.)
"G%& d@&nit..."
<(So...what are you going to do?)
Shaun tapped his foot in thought for a moment.
(im going 2 a team meeting rn)>
(ill bring it up there, c what they think)>
(either way though, this aint going without a fight from me)>
(nobody steals my name)>
<(Team meeting!? Oh that's so cool!)
<(Well let us know what happens. We've got the flyer as evidence if you need it.)
(thnx man)>
"Bron, did ye' see this? Looks like somebody's stealin' my code name." He pulls up the snapshot from Bert and shows it to her.
Wingblade barely acknowledges Alexis's state of dress. She looks up from being distracted when he asks his question. "Hmm? Oh, no, it wasn't you. Or just you."
She paces back and forth in her apartment while she waits for people to arrive.
Or just you.
Alexis looks forlorn by those three words, as he excuses himself to go and shower off the sweat. He thought about what was wrong. He could only assume the worst now.
He was getting kicked off the team.
It made complete sense. He'd endangered the mission, he'd hurt civilians, and the worst of it was that he had nearly killed Wingblade. There was no way that he would be trusted to go on missions again. He knew that Shayera wouldn't let them take him away. But stop him from going on missions? Or back to school? Or even leaving this place, turning it into another barracks for him? He could easily imagine that for him.
He let the water run at uncomfortably hot temperatures, scalding his skin that would heal up fine moments are leaving its spray. He had to keep control of himself better than how he'd acted. But he wasn't sure who could help him with that. Or if Kaoru would be able to help with figuring out how to act more like a boy.
It wasn't until he heard other voices out in the penthouse that he shut off the shower stream and towels off. He'd stayed in there longer than he normally did. Hopefully Shayera didn't notice.
Throwing on the cargo pants and the printed T-shirt he'd borrowed, he slowly breathed until he felt calm. No need to wear his worry and make Shayera even more upset. He walked out, looking at the gathered group. He saw that for some, it took them a moment to recall that he was Alexis. "...these clothes aren't really nice at all," He complained, hoping that a little humor would lighten the mood. "I wish I could fit in one of my dresses."
Bronwyn just glared at Shaun's giggles over a grin she couldn't quite suppress. "Yeah, we're gross. Deal with it."
When he brings up the flyer she's honestly puzzled. "Really? I mean... I guess they'd have to be copying you, it's not like The Kilt is the kind of name that would ever occur to most people... We'll check it out."
***
Bronwyn stopped trying to figure out what Shayera's announcement was going to be from the set of her shoulders, and gave a quick wave and a smile to Alexis as he came out of the shower. "Hey, how's it going?" I hope I'm not still making him feel weird...
"I wish I could fit in one of my dresses."
She looked searchingly at at Alexis for what was probably too long a moment before she decided he was joking probably, though she grinned instead of laughing, just in case.
"Ah nah! It's nice! Plus, nice ta' see more...I dunno? Relaxed w'Wing? When I first saw y'guys in ta' same room, both of ya' (but 'specially ye') we really stiff. Good ta' see that goin'way."
- - -
Shaun gave a small nod in Alexis's direction then quickly turned to face Shayera. No brain, not right now... "A'ight, I got some s&@$ I need ta' talk t'everybody 'bout, but let's start w'ye'. What's up Wing? Meetin' kinda came outta nowhere..."
Kaoru arrived after Shaun and Bronwyn and immediately began asking for everybody's comms to perform a security update. She didn't bother to look up from her computer as the random, crossdressing dude showed up. Apparently from the shower. Was Wingblade just collecting strays? As Shaun tries to get the meeting started though, she stops him. "We can't start yet. This is supposd to be a team meeting, and we're still missing Bran and Alexis."
"Oh God. Kaoru you didn't-" She clasped her hand to her mouth and shook her head. "Well, Bran can't make it tonight, and I'll... That's not important. This is Alexis. He got hurt really badly in that fight, and when he healed, well, he was a boy." Her attention flickered back and forth between Kaoru and Alexis, just hoping that Kaoru's words hadn't hurt him, "I'm so sorry, I thought you knew!"
Kaoru finally looked up from her computer to stare at Bronwyn, eyes narrowed. Her gaze briefly flicked to the new guy before going to stare down the athlete. "Riiiiiigghhhhhttttt." Her tone of voice suggested she didn't for an instant believe a word the girl had said. Since it was Bronwyn talking, she did at least manage to bite back an 'Exactly how dumb do you think I am?' snarl. Instead she focused on the part that wasn't a bold-faced lie. "If this 'team meeting' is important enough that I had to interrupt what I was doing to last minute pay for transportation over here instead of just dialing in remotely, why the fk does Bran get a pass? Is he on this team or isn't he? Or because he thinks he some king, does he get special treatment not afforded to the rest of us mere mortals?"
"...Um. Kaoru, it's me," Alexis said to him. It did make sense - Kaoru hadn't been around when he'd emerged from the ashes after all. In a way it was probably a good thing that she'd died so visibly to have little doubt for them he'd come back at all.
He pulls out his phone, tapping the keys, before Kaoru's e-mail notifies him of another mail from Alexis.
"I was burned alive by someone who was working with the bird women in the park. I came back like this. It happens when I die. I change on the outside, but I'm still me." He looks afraid now, staring at Kaoru with the same eyes as the Alexis he knew.
Kaoru paused briefly to look at the email before looking back at the new guy, jaw clenched. "So what, you got Alexis in on this too? Got her to tell you your password, so you could try to trick me? And before you deny it, that isn't the phone I helped set up for her just yesterday. So don't deny it; you would have had to have gotten her password to log in on a different device. Or do you really expect me to believe that there's some medical reason why you'd need to grow a dick to heal massive amounts of damage?"
She could quickly feel her already bad mood getting worse. She'd been dragged to this stupid g~+~$+n apartment with that motherf$#@ing elevator. Bran apparently thought he was important enough to be above the rules. And now apparently Alexis and Bronwyn had conspired to play this prank on her. And if Bronwyn was in on it, then Wingblade probably was too. And Shaun probably couldn't wait to try to mess with her. She looked to Alexandra, silently begging her. *Please* don't let them do this to me.
Alexis looks surprised. More than that, Alexis looks confused and hurt by Kaoru's reaction. He looks at Alexandra to help confirm the story here. He doesn't understand why Kaoru's so prone to trust her. There's a twinge of jealousy in his heart.
"Why would you think that I would try to trick you about this?" He asked the smaller boy. "I don't understand. Why would you think I would want to hurt you, Kaoru? I want to be your friend."
...Why did he want Kaoru to be his friend? Because...
"...I've lost all my classmates. They won't see me anymore. No one will recognize me," Alexis starts to say, panicking and breathing more heavily as he realizes the truth of what he's lost. "Not the nice lunch lady who likes giving me extra vegetables, or Ms. Alvarez for English Composition, or the girl who gave me gum in algebra who thought...it was funny that I ate it, because I didn't know what gum was and I never knew her name and...and..."
Tears are flowing from his eyes, reddening as his composure cracks completely as he curls up on the floor. "And now...*hic*...and now I'm going to lose this team, because they're going to force me off because I hurt people and I almost killed Shayera! They'll lock me away and I'll never go to school again! I'll be stuck in another barracks waiting to be used to hurt people!"
He kneels there, trembling and upset, shame and anger overwhelming in him. "I wish I had really died," He whispers. His shock was that he truly meant it. True death seemed preferable if it meant that coming back, everyone stopped recognizing him and treated him so differently.
The more immediate shame came from the new realization that he'd made such a scene in front of the whole team, now curled up with his knees tucked up to his face to hide it from view.
"Kaoru, it's really Alexis, he's--" Wingblade tries to interject but is argued over. She shakes her head in exasperation. "This is Halcyon City! Weird s+#@ happens all the time! We just fought an army of pigs and harpies, and a statue of Odysseus just joined the Defenders!"
She folds her arms and fumes until Alexis breaks down. She immediately jumps from her perch on the counter and gives him a sisterly hug. Then she squares herself in front of his face, grabbing both sides of his head. "Hey! Look at me! No one's kicking you off the team! They can't. So you're going to keep going to school, and it's all going to be fine. Got it?"
His admission that he wishes he'd really died hits her hard. She pulls him into a fiercely tight embrace. "No. Don't say that. Don't ever say that again."
Shaun is more than a little shocked by how fast everything goes sideways. Yes Kaoru was being a complete tool (my, how unexpected...), but he had been expecting Alexis to get mad at him. Not break down and...
”I wish I had really died,”
Her admission hit him harder than he could have ever anticipated. He knew that place. Knew what kind of sick, f#$@ed-up thoughts it could spawn. Pausing only to give Kaoru the dirtiest look he could muster, Shaun rushes forward and (tries to) hauls Alexis off the floor with a half-lift, half-embrace. Hey. Hey, it’s a’ight. It’s gonna be a’ight.”
As Wingblade joins the impromptu group-hug, Shaun’s mind is racing for a way to make this better. Grrr, THINK MacGregor!...what did you want to hear when you were here?
As quietly as he can, Shaun clears his throat and drops the accent. (Man that’s getting way too easy for me to do...) ”Hey, Lex? Listen to me. It’s not over. I know that right now, it might seem like it. Things are hard, like, to an ungodly degree. The world seems like it’s just grinding away at you, taking away everything you loved, till there’s nothing left but pain. But I promise you, there’s something past it. There is another day, a better day. But to see it, you can’t decide that now’s the end.” He wraps his arm around him in such a way that his old scar is facing him, and as subtly as he can he traces it so he can recognize it. ”Take it from somebody who’s tiptoed that particular line in the past: dying isn’t the answer. It never is. The only way things get better is if you’re still here to to either see it get better, or make it get better. Either way, it will get better. It will. It will...”
In that moment, Shaun forgot the world. He didn’t care who had heard what he said, or in what voice he’d said it in. He didn’t care if Alexis was some emotionally unstable Adonis. He didn’t care that Alexis was really, unbelievably heavy and that that was hurting his arm. All he knew was that the boy in front of him needed help. And heroes were really good at giving that.
Alexandra slaps Kaoru on the back of his head.
What the Hell is wrong with you. You weren't there, but after the first confirmation... Look at him, he was Terrified.
that is Alexis, just to clarify... Maybe you should just start going by Alex,, if this is gonna be a thing. less likely to draw attention, if this is gonna become a habit and it means Shaun has to stop using it for me Alexandra says
Okay, what did the omniscient council of a%!&~#@s say? Alexandra says
Kaoru flinched, first at the hit and then at Alexandra's words. Her expression briefly registered hurt before just abruptly shutting down. Her shoulders slumped as she suddenly felt incredibly tired. She stared blankly at her computer screen for a few moments before silently starting to pack up her things in preparation for leaving.
Wingblade stands up and takes a moment to get the moisture out of her eyes. She looks at everyone, taking a deep breath.
"I didn't see the city council. Just the SIDEKICK overseer."
She takes out her communicator and tosses it into the pile that Kaoru had gathered at the start. "He, um, was an a$%!%@~, I'll give you that. But anyway, I'll spare you the gory details and the blow-by-blow. I'm out as team leader. He's got someone else in mind."
"...There's nothing wrong with dying. There's just something wrong with having to come back," Alexis tells Shaun quietly, finally calmed down enough. His eyes stung, and he felt bad that he'd put Kaoru in such a rough spot. He didn't know how to fix anything.
Then Wingblade announced why she'd brought everyone together, and he looked stunned. "...It's my fault," He concluded. That was the only thing that made sense to him. "You should still be in charge of the team. They should have taken me off," He protests, standing a little straighter. Perhaps he could have let himself fall further into ennui, but that wouldn't help Shayera at all.
"Who is your replacement?" He asks, nervous now. Because he can't afford to make any other mistakes. Alexis clenched his jaw, hoping that they weren't going to bring in some outsider who would treat him like a weapon to be used.
Wingblade shakes her head vehemently. "It's not your fault," she tells Alexis. "It's the overseer's. He's apparently been in a pissing match with Whip for months over this whole SIDEKICK thing."
She shrugs, trying to look like she's not bothered by the decision. "You had to have known that Whippoorwill made some people look bad by making us a team rather than seeing us all hauled away by SCA goons. So he tried to get back at her by blaming me. But it's okay, 'cause we're still a team and he can't take that away." Her eyes go straight to the boy trying to sneak away to the elevator.
"Kaoru, you're team leader, now."
A million things go through ALexandra's mind
Okay, cool, your team now, right?
Well, s!*@, that's just a nightmare and a half, The Silver shadow in charge of a team. even they're not THAT dumb, right?
They are, but Bran gets it, obviously. except maybe there's a citizenship thing, or just a whole distrust of transform supers, so maybe Cassie... no, she has an evil mom... Gotta be me or Bran
Kaoru, you're team leader, now.
Crap, that means I'M the Bronwyn now, aren't I... are the first words out of Alexandra's mouth.
Why the hell isn't it Bran. He has seniority, by a couple centuries. she says, before realizing what she just did, and blushing
I mean, Congrats, Kay. she says, giving him a small hug and a kiss on the cheek to atone, and using the Hug to keep him from running, as she suspected he was about to do.
Shaun gives the other boy a small smile as he pats him on the back. "I suppose, in your case, yeah..." As he stands up he clears his throat and resumes the accent. Hears hoping nobody hear too much of that...
"Kaoru, you're team leader, now."
An atom bomb of pure rage went off in Shaun's reeling head. "...Wing, that's not f**#in' funny...that's not..." He glanced back and forth between the heroine and the hacker. "...HIM!? F&#!IN' WHAT TA' ACTUAL F@#!IN' HELL! LITERALLY ANY OF US WOULD HAVE BEEN BETTER PICKS! HELL, I WANTED TA' LEAD A TEAM IN TA' FIRST PLACE! HE DOESN'T EVEN WANNA-!"
Like a bolt of lightning, a thought lanced through the anger. "...Wing, ye' said the SCA can't disband us right? Could our designated team leader?"
Alexandra gives shaun a look of irritation. This is a powerplay, Shaun. they're a bunch of wannabes who recognize that, without either powers or exceptional genetics and a couple years intensive training, they're about as impotent as a nursing home with a viagra shortage.
Cassie, Bran, Wing, and Alexis all have powers, and they dislike them for it. Knowing that all your resurces and influence aren't worth one teenager who won the genetic lottery, or got irradiated, or whatever... people like them, it's gotta hurt. I'm smarter than any of them, and they now I won't play nice or sit and roll over. They know you won't cooperate either, and you are probably talented enough to threaten their Glass egos. and So, Kay, who they haven't seen go all out, seems the closest to a controllable, roll over and fetch team leader for them.
It's Bull, and Wing should be in charge. she says Not that I'm not happy for you, Kay. just... would have liked this to work out differently, and for the record, I don't think you are a little pet, but I think the SCA doesn't know you.
Kaoru continued to stare blankly into space. She was too tired to give more than a token effort at pulling away from Alexandra. She was pretty sure she should have feelings about being made team leader, but she just didn't. It was pointless. It was all pointless. She just wanted to go home and sleep. Maybe if she did that, when she woke up, things would be back to normal.
Wingblade winces when Alexandra breaks down the power play. She watches Kaoru appear overwhelmed -- or tired, she wasn't sure. "Look, the official story is, Kaoru's the star of the show yesterday. He tapped those comms and found that blonde who confirmed where the captives were.
"But, Alexandra's right. This is politics. Overseer Innis wants to see us fail. He's thinking I'll pout, and sabotage Kaoru. Or that others will. But I think you can do this. Your drones give you an eye in the sky that frees me up to engage the heavies. Your tech and hacking can disrupt the bad guys."
She goes over to Kaoru and bows. "You can do this, Jōshi."
Alexis was quiet as Kaoru was announced to be the new team leader. A title that Alexis was sure that the boy didn't want. He looked over at him, frowning and trying to figure out what to say or do here. Shaun was angry at being passed over, Alexandra was trying to support him in a backhanded fashion, and Wingblade looked lost now that things were getting out of hand. He wrung his hands together, wondering if anyone would even listen to him at this point.
What he really wanted to know, was if Kaoru even wanted to be team leader. It didn't seem like that was the case, but Alexis focused on him, watching his body language to try and get a read.
love or rival, you can always let them ask you a
question to ask them an additional question in
turn, even on a miss. These additional questions
do not have to be on the list.
Someone was bowing to her. Kaoru vaguely attempted to bow back but her movement was restricted, so she gave up. They had said something as well, but there hadn't been a question, so no response was required. She felt empty, like something inside her had curled up and died. She focused on the sensation. It was better than the sick feeling in her gut or the red-hot chains trying to wrap themselves around her chest.
"...Kaoru has battle fatigue," Alexis says, identifying the problem. Though he'd never seen someone who hadn't been in the middle of action act catatonic like this. It was definitely disturbing, as he looked at Alexandra.
"You should bring him home. I think he's in shock," Alexis urges the detective. "He needs help."
Just don't answer Kaoru's question. He's feeling trapped, and lashing out. You can talk to him about it later if he doesn't push.
I've gotta just start coming to these things as Bran though...
But I don't want them to think I'm just Shayera's girlfriend! I was doing this before I met her and-
”I wish I had really died”
Bronwyn's plan to stay on the sideline was gone at that moment. She didn't rush Alexis, but didn't hesitate for an instant. She moved carefully, trying to stay in his field of view so he didn't feel like he was being snuck up on, and put her arms tightly around his shoulders.
***
”Crap, that means I'M the Bronwyn now, aren't I...”
Alexandra's comment stung more than she'd expected. Is that really what she thinks of me?
But, bruised feelings weren't the most important things happening right now. It's not just the leadership. As soon as he found out Alexis died... It's like he was unplugged.
"He's right." She looked at Alexandra willing all the hurt feelings and strife they'd been piling up to disappear. Just make sure he's okay.
Wingblade sighs, taking a step back from Kaoru. "All right, meeting adjourned, I guess." Let's all hope the mole people don't start invading tonight. I had hoped this might... make him more a part of the team.
She turns away, fists clenched as she moves to her balcony. She wanted to scream. She wanted to lash out, but she didn't dare, not while the others were still around.
"What I wanted was to kick bad guy butts with my friends," Hashtag replies. "And then it turned into this hardcore, super-serious 'team' crap."
She grabs the railing tight, arms trembling.
Shaun's anger abates a bit as he realizes that the SCA hadn't set up the team to completely dissolve. It then promptly returns as Kaoru ignores Wingblade and leaves. "...oh. My. F!#&in'. God. We're f$*$ed."
He groans as he reaches for his phone. Okay, so team meeting was a mess, but I can still get some help on the Superfight thing. "Hey uh Wi-...aaaaannnnd she's gone...f+*!in' A..." He sighs heavily, then turns back into Alexis. "...hey, y'good? Ye' uh, ye' need ta' talk, get some other s~#& off your chest?"
Dios... Kaoru's practically catatonic; if Alexis wasn't already tormented, he is now, but... I'm sorry guys. Shayera needs me too...
Her face pained, she looked over to see Shaun trying to help Alexis. Okay, okay, don't have to feel as terrible as i was gonna.
She slipped out to the balcony, stepping softly, but not silently until she could get close enough to put her hand over Shayera's.
"Sweetie... I'm so sorry. You know we'll get through this though, right? The Team I mean, I'm not worried about...
"He was just caught off guard. He never signed up for the danger part of this, and within about 5 seconds of finding out that Alexis would've died without his healing, he was being asked to lead a team. Well no, he was being told he had to. We'll figure it out though, okay? You, me, all of us."
Shayera closes her wings up tight. She moves closer to Bronwyn, enjoying having her near. "Do we have to, though?" Shayera says, looking up. "Figure it out, I mean. Why bother even playing this stupid game with the SCA and the overseer?"
She shakes her head out of frustration. "Nothing was good enough for him. Half the problems we encountered yesterday were caused by the SCA, and the other half were from Circe's 'people'. I'm glad I don't have to deal with him again as leader. And if we give him what he wants by breaking up as a team, well..."
She hangs her head, letting her hair fall in front of her face. "...I don't care."
"Shayera, nothing was good enough for him because he wasn't looking for anything good. It's like you said - The whole point was to use you to score some stupid points against Whippoorwill.
"But we were there because a little girl had lost her mother. And a lot of other families had lost their loved ones too. You can't lose sight of that just because he did.
"And aside from helping other people, this team can also help us out too! Cassie and her mom, Alexis and the people who he escaped from, whatever's going on with Shaun..." When we finally free you from your father...
Bronwyn reached down to hold Shayera's hair out of her face. She really wanted to kiss her, but this moment wasn't just about them, it was about everyone. "There's a lot here to care about."
***
She'd held Shayera in silence for a while before she spoke again. "So... we've never really talked about our future. I mean, I guess we did last night a bit, but umm, aside from our-our future... What do you want to be doing in 10 years? After college or grad school or all the before stuff is done. What do you want your life to be?"
Agreed. Alexandra says, taking Kaoru by the shoulders. Lets get you to a bed this is a lot to process. she says, shepherding him into the elevator.
on ground level, she says. Yeah... it was bad. I'm sorry I should have told you earlier, but yeah, Alexis took a lot of damage, enough to cause her to regenerate a lot of herself. They broke some BIG rules, almost no-one in the cape community goes for kills. And yeah, I'm sorry... I'm sorry you have to lead this thing, and that you're being set up...
Alexandra just kinda trails off as she gets Kaoru into her house.
Call me in the morning. she says
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~
>Hey, tomorrow, at 4, meet me at monument part, beneath my Grandad's statue. Come dolled up.
Shayera leans forward until her forehead is resting against Bronwyn's chest. She forces a halfhearted chuckle. "Okay, you got me. I wish I could not care. It's just, there's the bad guys that make it difficult enough, you know? So why do people supposed to be on our side want to make it even tougher?"
She looks up at her girlfriend with a lopsided grin. "You don't have to answer that."
She puts her arms around Bronwyn and holds her, resting her head against the spot where her shoulder gives way to her breast and listening to the blood whoosh through her veins.
* * *
"So... we've never really talked about our future. I mean, I guess we did last night a bit, but umm, aside from our-our future... What do you want to be doing in 10 years? After college or grad school or all the before stuff is done. What do you want your life to be?"
Shayera stirs to life with the question, and she pulls away gently. She backs up until she reaches the railing where she casually sits, her back against the precarious drop a hundred stories below. Her wings unfold, giving her the right amount of balance so that she stays perched without fear of falling backwards.
She furrows her brow in thought for a moment. "Well, I figured I'll join the Defenders sooner or later. I mean, Whip's mentioned a time or two about her not doing this forever. So someone's got to fill the role of winged superheroine, right?" She quirks a half-smile.
She sobers. "I dunno. College? I mean, in one sense, what for? Go and learn what? What do I need to learn that I'm not already getting on-the-job training for?" Shayera frowns as she thinks about what life might be like on a college campus. There were a few colleges in and around Halcyon City, so going to one of those shouldn't be much different than what she's doing now at Halcyon High. Going someplace else felt... completely foreign. Like she'd be missing out and going stir crazy if there wasn't bad guy heads to crack during evenings and on the weekends.
"In ten years, I'll be around twenty-five... so..." she shrugs. "Still fighting the craziness that is Halcyon, I guess. With you."
She meets Bronwyn's eyes. Was she supposed to want more? Was she supposed to want the insanity of supervillains and mad scientists and magic beings to end so she can live in a house with a white picket fence with a cat and a dog and Bronwyn going off to work each day? She shrugs again.
Bronwyn easily let go, having become adept at feeling the moment when comfortable snuggling gave way to wings that needed to be stretched. Still, she couldn't help but smile as she saw Shayera take to her perch with that odd balance that only she and her mother would ever find comfortable. Does she know how cute she is?
She realized that she'd just been staring dreamily into Shayera's eyes, blushed and continued. "Okay... well first: You know I think what we do is work worth doing. Like, if Gae-Dearg hadn't been magic and y'know - Bran and everything, and I'd just grabbed some random spear? I'd still be doing this with you. This isn't about wanting to quit or retire or anything like that. But...
"I mean, I know Whippoorwill does this pretty full time, but there are plenty of heroes who aren't active that much. And I mean - do you feel like you're part time right now? You're patrolling most days, and that's when there isn't some emergency for us to focus on, but you're still doing other things. Like we're dating and you've still got classes and homework and...
"I guess what I'm saying, is I hope you do go to college when I do - or do something that's not all superheroing. I just... I think it's really important not to let fighting be your whole life. Even if it is fighting for a good cause. And maybe there won't be anything that feels as fulfilling and exciting as what we're already doing, but you deserve a chance to figure that out for yourself."
Her smile turned from warm to a little self-deprecating. "I do so much want to be doing this with you, but I might have to take some time off from the whole super-heroing thing in 5 years though. Maybe even next year, or for a month or so before then, depending on what Mary-Beth or maybe Cassie can figure out."
Quickly she realized that no light of understanding was dawning in Shayera's eyes. "Sorry, of course you don't count years like that. There are only probably three or four Olympics that I'll be in peak enough condition to compete in assuming I don't really plateau early like Coach is afraid of.. And the only way I'll be able to compete, to really compete, is without being able to use my powers."
Arrrrgggghhhhh it's so Stupid that I'm blushing! I'm just not used to saying the 'O' word out loud; it always feels like bragging! "And you know. Plans change, or things don't work out or whatever, but... Yeah, historically speaking 2028's my best shot, so... that's where I want to be in 10 years, coming home from LA to fight bad guys with you."
"I mean, I know Whippoorwill does this pretty full time, but there are plenty of heroes who aren't active that much. And I mean - do you feel like you're part time right now? You're patrolling most days, and that's when there isn't some emergency for us to focus on, but you're still doing other things. Like we're dating and you've still got classes and homework and...
"I guess what I'm saying, is I hope you do go to college when I do - or do something that's not all superheroing. I just... I think it's really important not to let fighting be your whole life. Even if it is fighting for a good cause. And maybe there won't be anything that feels as fulfilling and exciting as what we're already doing, but you deserve a chance to figure that out for yourself."
Shayera throws up her hands. "But I was made for this! It's what I love! It's what I'm best at! I don't want to do a job and worry about bills and mortgages and... I dunno, taxes and stuff."
She looks pleadingly in Bronwyn's eyes. "That's okay with you, isn't it? I mean..." she stares down at her hands. "If you wanted me to, I could maybe try... journalism -- that's a classic -- or criminal justice, I guess..." Real worry shows on her face as she contemplates choosing a mundane career to pursue.
Her frown deepens when Bronwyn talks about taking time off superheroing to pursue an Olympic career.
She stares wide-eyed at her. "Okay. Um, would you want me to come with? I could be, your, um, cheerleader? Or, something. Whatever a person is who roots for track stars. That's something besides superheroing, right?"
"Shayera, you will always have something you love that you can do well. And you'll always have someone you love, and who loves you in return by your side. You don't have to pick something for me. I just want you to look. Not now, just... You don't have to have everything figured out yet, y'know? I just want you to keep trying new things. Like when you got into fashion and everything. That's fun right?
"And it's not like you aren't already my groupie. You come to my track meets, you watch me practice when you're free... I mean jeez, do you remember that first meet after you started getting all spruced up? I don't know how I didn't actually fall over. You were so beautiful, and I felt like such a dork. But all I wanted to do was win for you. Like, I totally get those stories where a knight gets like a handkerchief from some beautiful princess right before a joust... You were just this supermodel in amazing clothes, and- Oh! What about fashion?!
"There are so many things you could do just with that! You could design things, or try to predict what kinds of clothes would be popular, or write about it, or model, or even teach! And that's just one thing you like that isn't heroing, but most of those have flexible hours, and let you travel or stay put when you need to..."
She gradually realized she might have gotten overexcited and finished almost apologetically, "I just want you to find everything in the world that makes you happy."
Kaoru trudged out of the apartment, powered-down laptop in her bag. She only half-listened as Alexandra talked, and once home she immediately changed into more comfortable clothes and fell into bed, despite the relatively early hour. She was in that terrible state where mentally she was exhausted and wanted to sleep but her body disagreed and insisted upon keeping her up for at least an hour or so. When she did sleep, it was that completely unrefreshing kind where you woke up often enough to doubt you'd even been to sleep in the first place. Despite that, her body insisted on making sure she was awake at her normal early hour. She did her best to ignore it and return to slumber. An hour or so later, Shadow trundled in to her room to walk all over her and announce his displeasure at his delayed breakfast. She ignored him and only curled up tighter under her blankets. Eventually, after deciding to hunt her toes for a while, he gave up and went elsewhere.
It was probably around 10am when she finally gave up on sleep, but even then, she stayed in bed while her brain tried to convince her to get up and do things. It took around an hour before she was able to convince herself that she needed to take a shower. Another hour to both get through the shower and get dressed. She couldn't exactly explain why it had taken so long, but the long periods of time staring off into space hadn't exactly helped. Neither had needing to rebutton her shirt twice.
She sat at her desk, staring blankly at her face-down phone. Alexandra had said to call. But she really didn't want to. Texting would have been preferable, but she didn't want to do that either. She had never actually agreed to call her in the morning, so maybe she could get away with skipping it? She hadn't said what she had wanted to talk about. Best case it was something pointless. Worst case it was something she didn't want to hear. It wasn't actually even morning anymore. Was that an excuse not to call?
It was around 12:30pm when she finally managed to convince herself to pick up her phone. She had new messages from Bronwyn as well as a missed call that she had failed to notice with her phone on silent, but those would have to wait. She numbly navigated to her contacts and hit the button to call Alexandra. When the phone stopped ringing, she gave a flat, "Hey" in greeting.
Shaun's anger abates a bit as he realizes that the SCA hadn't set up the team to completely dissolve. It then promptly returns as Kaoru ignores Wingblade and leaves. "...oh. My. F@+#in'. God. We're f!&$ed."
He groans as he reaches for his phone. Okay, so team meeting was a mess, but I can still get some help on the Superfight thing. "Hey uh Wi-...aaaaannnnd she's gone...f+!&in' A..." He sighs heavily, then turns back into Alexis. "...hey, y'good? Ye' uh, ye' need ta' talk, get some other s$#* off your chest?"
Alexis watched Kaoru go, extremely worried. This was not the first time that he had observed Kaoru act like this. Yet he was supposed to be team leader.
In Alexis' opinion, Kaoru shouldn't even be on the team. He wanted to be his friend. If he kept getting fatigued like this simply in their meetings, he didn't think that he would be able to function during a real crisis. His own worries set aside for the worry of someone that he cared about, he took out his phone, before looking at Shaun.
"I won't let my fears compromise my team," He told him, getting to business as he considered how to do this. He really wanted to talk to Whippoorwill to see what could be done. He knew some fellow Hoplites left service due to trauma, perhaps that would be a good start.
"I need to try and fix things. Excuse me," He told Shaun, moving into Shayera's bedroom to access the Abacus computer. He was not smart with these things, but voice commands made it easier for him to call up a secure line to contact Whippoorwill through a mailbox. He hesitated, wondering if this was the right decision for a moment. But it was for his health, because he wanted him to be better.
"Miss Whippoorwill, this is, um, Mercy. The new one. That you know. Um, I just wanted to ask, because at the meeting tonight, I got upset while talking to Kaoru because he didn't believe I was me, and I couldn't keep my emotions in check. Then Kaoru, he acted like Hoplites I remember that had come back to the barracks, all quiet and lifeless and tired. Some of them never left again. Kaoru...I like Kaoru. I want to be his friend. But he doesn't want to be here. He shouldn't be here. I think you should have him released from his, um, obligation to us. He should be a normal high student. Like I've always wanted to be. He will be happier like that."
Finished with the message, and hoping that Whippoorwill would get it soon enough, Alexis left the bedroom, going to seek out Shaun, since Shayera and Bronwyn were still talking on the balcony. "...Um. I think you and everyone else misunderstood me." He points to him.
"I don't want to die. I hate dying. Dying is awful. But I wish that I would only die once. I don't want to be killed or to kill myself. Not anymore. But I want to know that someday, I won't come back. That I can stop running, and rest. Do you understand?"
Shayera finds herself blushing over the talk of fashion. Giving her a sheepish grin, she looks down at her cargo pants and black tank top. "I'm not sure about that. I mean, it could be fun, maybe, but I'm too short to model, and I don't have the eye for it that Tiffany does. I just like wearing it, and seeing your eyes sparkle when I'm in something new..." She looks up with a knowing smile.
Conceding, she hops off the railing and gives Bronwyn a hug. "Okay. I'll keep thinking about something to do besides heroing. And being your girlfriend." She tilts her head up, inviting a kiss, but before Bronwyn can make a move, the handheld Abacus buzzes in Shayera's pocket. "Hold that thought," she whispers.
She checks it, seeing Chinese characters on the screen. "It's Dad," she tells her, then answers it. She speaks a few lines of Chinese, nods unnecessarily, then turns it off.
"Dad wants to see me. He sounded kind of upset, so I should go see what he wants. He was real proud of the fact that I was put in charge of the team, so it might be that." She stands on her tiptoes to give Bronwyn a quick peck. Then she turns to jump back on the railing, her wings spread out for flight.
She looks over her shoulder. "We haven't really talked about weekend plans. Can I see you sometime tomorrow? Would you like to go shopping with Alexis and me?"
Good. you're awake. I'll be there in 10 is all Alexandra says. these things needed to be done in person, and she made a point of not discussing super business over the phone
She drove over, and tossed a bag with doughnuts on the table, Offering [Kaoru's drink of choice] to Kay directly
I could talk with Whip is you wanted. Make her let you out now. Or I could go berate the SCA council until they reinstated wing, and you could wait out your month in the tower. Or I could make Cassie help me, and find Delphi, and hex/tranquilize her and hand her computer over to you... She offers. She meant it to, this wasn't how she wanted it to go. Her sea green eyes searched him, desperate for some way she could help.
Shaun nods at Alexis as he wanders off, dropping heavily onto the living room couch. Now what're we gonna do? The Try-Hard has NO interest in hero-work, and to make things worse he's putty in Alexandra's hand, meaning that if Kaoru doesn't just retire outright, he'll be a puppet king for her. And that's the last thing I need...
He's genuinely (and pleasantly) surprised when Alexis actually comes back out and resumes the conversation.
"I don't want to die. I hate dying. Dying is awful. But I wish that I would only die once. I don't want to be killed or to kill myself. Not anymore. But I want to know that someday, I won't come back. That I can stop running, and rest. Do you understand?"
He blinks slowly, trying to process through the semi-psychological observations of Alexis. "I...uh...okay, I, uh, I think I get what ye're sayin'. Ye're...lookin' forward ta'bein'...gone, like...permanently...fully disclosure here, not a fan of "ta' end" m'self. I...I try not ta' think 'bout it. I've, uh, I've seen a few too many people leave ta' expect it m'self...
"But, f'ye', I guess it must seem better, ta' some f&+*ed up degree. Some kind of...freedom..." There's a faint scratching sound as Shaun rubs his nails across his neck. "...'Lex, y'know we are gonna do our damn'est ta' get those f$%@ers chasin'ya' behind bars, right? Y'won't have ta' run for forever, or till whoever ya'...give out. Just...I dunno? A year? I'd prob'ly be done faster if anybody'd tell me s#$& 'bout it, but whatever.
"M'point is, we're here, an' we're gonna kick their asses, an' then...tell ya' what! When we take these c#$!s down, I'll take ya'ta' see my heritage in Scotland. I'll give a'ta' grand tour of ta' clan hall, ta' good part'a Edinburgh, I'll even take ya'ta' that Shakespeare museum in London. That sound good?"
- - -
<(Hey, tomorrow, at 4, meet me at monument part, beneath my Grandad's statue. Come dolled up.)
(why?)>
(also define dolled up)>
(i dont wear suits)>
(or anything w/sleeves)>
(or ties)>
(i f@&@ing hates ties)>
Kaoru stared blankly at the donuts, mutely taking the proffered matcha latte. She wasn't really hungry though the slight pain in her stomach seemed to disagree. She didn't want it to start growling, but she didn't think she'd make it through a whole donut, and she didn't want to ruin it for someone else. She started to shrug, but gave up half-way through. "It doesn't really matter."
Alexis stares at Shaun like he's grown a second head after his announcement. He frowns and places his hands on his hips.
"...I like Shakespeare. I'd like to go and see a museum to him. But putting Xenophon in jail won't free me. I think they must know I'm on this team. The only one who could be stopping them from raiding this tower to extract me would be Xenophon himself. If he was removed, then others would make decisions in his place."
He figures that it makes sense to be open about this to Shaun, so that he didn't get any terrible ideas. "I know what would be their plan if they knew I was in a location, but had no idea what I looked like. They would barricade exit points, sweep up and neutralize anyone there, then extract the only person to get up from being shot in the head. That hurts a lot, by the way."
"I think the only way to make them let me go, is to make sure that the cost of recovering me would be too high for them." Actually, in that vein, perhaps there was an idea for how to get them off of his back. By hitting them where it hurt.
"...I have an idea," he said. "We have to find the Triakosia who are hunting me in the city. We have to take them out, pair by pair. It can't be done alone. So if you see any of them, let me know. Let Shayera know. We can plan how to defeat them."
Okay. Then let's sit. Alexandra says, guiding Kaoru to the couch, and Sitting him beside her. I've got nothing to do until 4. Want to watch something?
her arm wraps his shoulders as she sips at her coffee. she lets him remain quiet, if He needs it. She needed him at 4, but until them, he could rest. [i]And it's what he needs, He needs you in his corner. and by his side, right now. Be a person, for 3 hours.[/ooc]
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~
>Need to have an almost all-team talk. don't mention it to Shayera or Alexis.
>Dolled up means in Costume.
Kaoru let herself be guided. At first she seemed unresponsive. After a while, when it became clear that Alexandra wasn't planning on going anyway, she slowly wrapped her arms around her, doing her best to curl into the girl's warmth. Her chest started to tighten with pain she had been ignoring. It threatened to overwhelm her with its swirling mix of confusion and uncertainty. She buried her face into Alexandra's shoulder. Together it was too much. But if she just focused on one thing at a time, maybe it manageable. She focused on the biggest, most pressing thing and took a deep, shuddering breath before finally mumbling into Alexandra's shoulder. "Why do they get to cheat death? What makes them so special?" She was glad her face was hidden. She could feel the telltale sting of tears threatening to fall.
The same blank, thoughtful look comes over Bronwyn's face as Shayera talks to her 'father,' but she just nods at Shayera's explanation.
"Sure thing, sweetie. Umm... so I'm not gonna sleep here tonight, but if you're not going to be long, I'd love to make you some dinner. Either way, maybe I could hang out and do some homework for a bit until everyone else goes home and I can run a little more discretely?" And avoid paying for another bus. And avoid thinking about what I'm going to do once I really am completely out of money.
***
She'd sent a couple messages over to Kaoru, but wasn't surprised that he hadn't responded.
Bronwyn: ru ok?
Bronwyn: sorry, stupid, I know your not
Bronwyn: *you're
Bronwyn: I know today Sucked and I just wanted to make sure you weren't alone
Bronwyn: whether u had someone to talk to or just ignore while they sat in ur ruin that you knew that no matter what ::poop emoji:: the SCA is up to that there are people who care
Bronwyn: about you and want you to be happy
Bronwyn: and I know what happened to Alexis was scary, but I swear I won't let that happen to you.
Can't push him anymore than this without, well, pushing him.
She tried to be sanguine, to trust that Kaoru just needed time and space to come back to himself, but it was too easy to remember times that that hadn't been true for other friends, other hurts.
So she pulled her phone back out and resumed typing.
Bronwyn: hey Alexandra
Bronwyn: truce?
Bronwyn: can you head over to K's?
Bronwyn: or at least get him on the phone 2 make sure hes ok?
Bronwyn: please let me know when you do
***
Heading back inside she peered around, trying to figure out if Shaun and Alexis had gone off somewhere odd, or if one or the other had put the other one through a wall. Okay, if Alexis put Shaun through a wall...
Shayera checks the time. "It's nine already. I have no idea how long I'll be, so I understand if you don't stick around." She gives her a smile that betrays an excited feeling. "But it'll be neat if you're still here when I get back."
She turns back around while perched on the railing and leans down to give Bronwyn a kiss before leaping backwards from the balcony. She plummets in freefall for a few seconds, then her wings take over, orienting herself and flying off into the night.
Xenophon. Okay. That’s a start...
Shaun cocks a concerned eyebrow at the headshot comment. ”I don’t even wanna know how ye’ know that.”
He can see the light bulb go off in Alexis’ head, then nods along with the plan of action she lays out, a broad smile working its way across his face. ”THAT sounds like a damn good plan ta’ get these f$+!ers ta’ piss off. Uh, I do have two questions though: what ta’ f%!& is a Tria-whatsit, an’ what do these pricks look like?”
- - -
Heading back inside she peered around, trying to figure out if Shaun and Alexis had gone off somewhere odd, or if one or the other had put the other one through a wall. Okay, if Alexis put Shaun through a wall...