Tofutee leaps forward and does her level best to remove the Wight's nose.
"Hey Horns come over here and stab this guy so I can properly remove his liver! he's wigglin' too much."
Misty would move into the middle of the room, preparing to flank with any ally that she can in the -next- round.
Misty looks it over, and then waves in tuxedocow. It was definitely a job for him. "How hurt is everyone?" she asks, paying them no attention, as she looks over all the shinies.
Tofutee gives a sidelong glance to liquid lady and then to herself. "Well the guys on the the ground are plenty dead... Re-dead. Second killed? The bacon scented one says as she glances up the ceiling in thought. Then realizing that liquid lady had been asking is she had been hurt and continuing.
"I'm fine though, heard letting those Whites was bad for your soul or something. So I didn't let them. Ol' picklepuss over there got hit though. Doesn't look like they managed to break through horns armor."
With that tofutee moves out of the way for Larg and points to the southern doorway. "Any objections to going that way?"
"Nope. Not at all. I can poke Bud with the Asmodean Torture Stick if he wants. I think he already has one, though."
"Eh, he kind of seems to be staring off into space right now. perhaps we should let him be for now, don't want to interrupt his reminiscing about the good old days."
With that the plant woman seems to grow bored and shrugs.
"I'm going to go take a look down that path and see what is waiting for us. Care to join?"
"Mmmm... sure. Sounds good. I'll be the requisite sixty feet behind you, as usual."
"Yes. Do let her wonder down that way and we'll stay safely here. It was but a flesh wound."
Bud then waits for the almighty bacon to walk down the hall waiting for something to try and eat her, wishing for something to snack on.
The bacon scented one wanders down the hall, and then back to the group.
"Another four way intersection. Should we check the paths and see if there is loot in them?"
"That seems wise. We could split up and do a quick glance, then compare notes to save time. That way, if we see a bunch of enemies, we just back up and let it sort itself."
"I think it might be best to only put a stick into one wasp's nest at a time. Maybe work right to left? That way there's not too many things trying to bit our heads off at once."
Tofutee shrugs "It does go against common sense but for some reason it has seemed to work for us the last few times we tried it."
The plant woman then pauses for a moment as she considers what she just said.
"Wow, when did I get so blase about life threatening monsters lurking around every corner?"
"So do we want to keep going this way or try the other passageway in the with all the re-killed guys?"
"I like four ways." Misty says, simply.
After some thought, Misty realizes that she agrees with Larg. She doesn't belong here. Unlike Larg, however, she takes the time to dig through her packs. She retrieves the Traveler's any tool, and delicately caresses it, along with the Asmodean Torture Stick. She passes them both off to Tofutee before fleeing the dungeon.
"Well Tofutee, looks like it's me an you. What's say we go that way? Bud points to the right, and starts walking that way.
"We're walking, walking. Ah here we go, a portcullis to either side. Let's take a look in them and see what we want to do."
Bud then looks at the one on the left and then the right.
"Thanks." the plant woman says, a bit sad as the passing of gear made the leaving much more final. "See you some other time perhaps."
With that she turns to her remaining companion and shrugs noting his absence and moving forward to catch up t the surprisingly spry old man. "Yanno, they say small groups down here is suicidal but sure. Why the hell not."
With a glance to the doors tofutee shrugs. "you want me to open either of em or you want to try a different path?"
"I don't know that it's worth all the work to try and lift one of these just to go down (not a good idea, me thinks) or down a hallway when we can keep going down this one. Or we could go back to the intersection and see where the next passage heads. Up to you. I just wanna find these trespassers and take their stuff. I mean escort them to the exit."
Bud waits patiently for Tofutee, leaning back against the wall and blowing on his nails, while a small puddle forms at the bottom of the wall.
Tofutee hums in thought. "True. Lifting those will be harder now that we don't have our friendly neighborhood shag factory with us."
"Lets just keep going down this pathway for a bit. See what is waitin' ahead."
Tofutee glances to her remaining companions. "So i'll be right back after I go see what is in there. like always me yelling in pain is usually a bad sign."
With that tofutee speaks the secret words of the rogue and does her best imitation of something much less important than she is.
Tofutee walks back to her motley crew with scratching her head.
"So there is a bunch of kobolds all dressed similar in there,blue or black pants and long stripped shirts with red and white. Some kinda emblem, so I'm guessing some manner of sports team but I'm wondering why the heck they are down here. Looks like they are having a party. Room is a natural cavern with a big spring of fresh water in it, moss and other green things. Definitely some magical hijinks going on in there. Think I should go try and steal any weapons they might have while they are all doing their party thing?"
With that she gets a far off look and sighs
"Some days I forget how strange this dungeon gets. So what mocking name do you think we should assign this team of scaley lizard midgets?"
"Sounds like they may be tail-gating. Was there ale and grilled meat? I think maybe we should let them be and continue on, don't you? Unless you want the stuff they have and think we can take it. Been a long time since payday."
Bud's eyes then seem to glaze over more for a minute as he seems to be remembering something.
"Well I'd bet the pool is magic or somethin' might also be the room. Might be nice to figure out what they might be sitting on over there before we just saunter along. Be a shame to pass up loot, who knows the pool might have a magic sword tossing tart. Might even get us a free mansion and a yacht with ownership, well perhaps some uppity peasants as well." Tofutee responds to the glazing human.
"Are they asking us to come witness the violence inherent in the system? All right if you think it's best. You'd better steal their weapons first I think. Let me summon my armor and we can proceed."
Bud then cast's mage armor and nods.
Tofutee shrugs "Who knows, I won't until I've looted them at least. With that Tofutee returns the way she had just came with the intent to remove as many of the possibly drunk kobold sports teams pointy stabbing implements as possible.
Tofutee examines the sport-like jerseys and has a sudden revelation. [smaller]"Huh. so a bunch of squatters. Welp I feel less interested in mercy, now back to that job of stealing things. The baconling mutters under her breath as she creeps closer to the lizard pile.
Out in the passageway, the Dungeon Minion appears in a cloud of purple smoke that quickly dissipates. She is, once again, wearing a cute referee’s uniform, with spiked high heeled boots.
She blows twice on a small wooden whistle in her mouth and throws up her hands. In the chamber, a few of the kobolds take notice of the sound, while the rest continue to lounge by the pool.
When the kobolds gather at the entrance, still unaware of Tofutee’s presence, they see Bud and Praink, and wave happily, then give a rousing supporting cheer for the monsters.
The dungeon Minion, holds up a placard with the word “Substitution” written on it in a professional script, and suddenly, a strange new monster appears standing in the Passageway, with his feet touching a white line on the floor that no one noticed before.
The newly arrived “substitute” appears to be something like a squat, strong humanoid, or possible just a large monkey. It is difficult to be certain. However, this fellow, or lady, also difficult to tell at first glance, is wearing armor, and carrying weapons, and gear, much like an adventurer or intelligent monster. Strangely, this new “hire” is wearing large baggy “team jersey” over his gear.
The Dungeon Minion approaches the new dungeon employee, and gives instructions
“Okay, you’re up. Don’t disappoint me. These others are in need of a good custard maker, or otherwise the regular sort of muscle one needs to do this sort of, quest, thing. Take off that jersey, and go introduce yourself.”
The Kobolds, seeing the team jersey of their favorite team, let go with several choruses of
]Oh, my, we can’t be beat, even when we’re off our feet…
And then they all fall down laughing.
The creature that had just appeared seemed to do so in an utterly preplexing manner as he scratched his head and looked around blankly.
Uhhhh. where the Frak am I? Then seeming even more confused when the Dungeon Minion approaches him.
I is supposed to make cuz-hard? What is cuz-hard? Introduce? Oh, ok. I can do that.
Seemingly happy with being given directions, the animal wanders over to the crowd of kobolds taking off the blue and black jersy with a ripping pull and addressing them.
Uhhh. Hi. I is beast. I has no idea how I gots here but, Uhhh... Anyone want? He offers the torn jersey to the crowd of Kobolds.
Now that he has been here a short while, you can get a better look at him.
He is covered in a coarse layer of dark black hair with a silver sheen showing on his forearms and what little you can see of his back. His facial features remind you more of a yak or minatoar, thick eyebrows on a heavyset forehead framing around his beady eyes. His long arms are thick and powerful and seem to be griping a worn and heavy club of sorts in his left hand and a torn jersey in the right.
He is mostly covered in what appears to be poorly maintained suit of mostly solid armor and carrying a large backpack.
Beast begins to wave the torn jersey like a makeshift flag garnering more peals of laughter from the kobolds. Beast seems to be oblivious to the fact that the kobolds are laughing at him and seems to be enjoying the rare bit of attention.
they love me! Dey really love me! Dis is awesome!
Tofutee looks at the newcomer and over to the Kobolds before standing from her rather impressive sneaky stance and clearing her throat to draw attention. "Hey, uh. Big guy. Pretty sure you got it wrong, the one in need of a custard maker is in fact us. Our last one ran off because he left the kettle on or something. The one who is to be custard-ed is likely those guys in the jerseys."
Beast turns to see the newcomer and sees the Baconling
You guys need the Cuz-Hards? OK. I can help with that. Sniff, sniff. You smells nice!
Beast gives you a warm smile and you feel somehow... Safer. Like the sense of security you may have when with close family.
He then turns and listens to the kobold who is doing the most explaining, and at him as well.
You, uhh, you wants me ta go demolish dem, or, turning towards Tofutee, us? he sounds almost hopeful.
Bud yells in at the other two, "Ok, enough lollygagging you two. We do have work to do. I guess if they're not causing trouble you don't have to custard them quite yet."
He then looks at the kobolds and decides they probably don't have anything he wants and yells to them, "Do you have your permits do be down here or your employee id's? If not you need to leave or he," [b] Bud points at the big harry thing, [b]"will have to turn you into custard! It's the boss' rules you know."
When Beast sees the new (to him) man he gives him a cheery wave, then faces the kobolds again when Bud talks to them.
When Bud tells them that Beast might have to turn them into custard he does his best to furrow his eyebrows, dounturning his lips and looking generally intimidating.
Tofutee gives the Kobolds a dumbfounded look the plant woman adjusting her slack jaw after a moment. "So you aren't interested in say... smashing us with those pennants or whatnot? Great. Don't suppose you have an idea as to what the water in that pool does, also anything else in this room. Oh and did you happen to see a group of do-gooders come by recently, we kind of need to squash them for reasons."
The Plant says instantly ok with not having to fight the kobolds.
"I like this room" the bacon scented one says, mostly to herself. She then looks over to the 'Beast' attempting to be intimidating and gesturing to the creature.
"So, uh, might want to belay that custard-ing. These guys don't seem to be in a mood for it and i'm fine to move on if you guys are. Oh, hey Old wizard dru.. dude? yeah. Think you could give this room and that fancy pool a look over, perhaps figure out what they do if these guys don't know already."
No Cuz-hard-ing? K.
Beast responds, once he realizes that hes not really scaring anyone. Instead he ambles over to the pool that the Kobolds were talking about and takes a look.
Assuming he figures that the pool is harmless enough, he reaches down and takes a palm-full and raises it to his lips.
He then notices that Tofutee is walking off (as she searches the room) Heys. Where are you going? and takes off, trailing her, as he goes.
Beast takes another palm full from the pool and splashes it over his face, slicking his mane back, then follows after Tofutee.
Tofutee just might be a little bit more self conscious as the animal following her seems just be a little more dashing then she recalled?