A few days ago an eccentric gnome approached you with summons to Lastwall. You have been called by Venture-Captain Shevar Besnik to the Ace of Dreams, a gambling house in Vellumis that also serves as the Pathfinder Society's Uscalin Lodge.
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Balzanno, ever one to help a fellow g-nome out, smirks when he takes in the interior of the Ace of Dreams, bringing the pleasing, vibrant smell of patchouli as a potentially welcome respite from the odorous smell of sweaty gamblers.
He addresses the room loudly, seeing his arrival as something of a gift to all those in attendance.
"Hey yo! Time to git dis party started! Balzy in da house!"
Seemingly forgetting he's in the employ of 'Da Society', he scans the room for some fetching ladies, planning to elbow out any meatheads that might not be worthy of their attentions.
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A tall, dark haired gentleman with a well trimmed mustache and beard strolls into the room. He's dressed in an elegant waist-coat and trousers. Notably, a rune emanating a mysterious glow adorns his forehead.
"Bonjour, gentlemen. I am Francois Laurent Rosin. This.."
The man pauses, as his nose slightly wrinkles.
Merde!!! Zhis smell!! I know Zhis smell!
"Ahhh, Monsieur BALZanno. What a.. welcome surprise, you remember Gabrielle, I trust?"
He points to a tall, red-gold haired woman, dressed in a serving outfit with a fauchard strapped to her back. An identical glowing rune sparkles on her forehead.
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An unusually tall and well built man, no one would describe Richard Gumshoe as graceful. Sporting full business attire complete with an ankle length beige trench coat, he should be an imposing figure. If it weren't for the playful grin, loosened tie, and unbuttoned collar.
Is gambling legal in this town? Better check with the boss when he gets here...
Making his way to the other members of the party, Gumshoe bumps into countless patrons. Each encounter followed up with a Sorry, pal.
Turning to look at Balzanno, Francois, and seeming to shy away from actual eye contact with Gabrielle, Gumshoe introduces himself.
Hey, pal! Names Gumshoe, Richard Gumshoe, but my friends just call me Gumshoe. You guys seen the boss around here? He docks my pay when I'm late, but I think I'm here on time. What time were we supposed to be here? Am I on time?
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A rather well-to-do Tien man with mid-length black-to-gray hair, dressed in Taldan fashion, enters the building with purpose. He adjusts his cuffs absentmindedly as his eyes hone in on his... "partner" in fighting crime.
For once, the baffoon is on time. Best not let it get to his head.
He strides in, takes a seat, and curtly nods to each other member of the party.
"Re-" He pauses. "Miles Mitsurugi, prosecutor. Pleasure." He turns pointedly to Gumshoe, and extends a hand expectantly for a written brief.
He suppresses an eye twitch. By Shizuru's blade! What is that stench?
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Francois eyes Miles and gives him a look of acknowledgement. He, however, purses his lips slightly at the attire of Gumshoe.
Straightening his clothes as if this action could do likewise with Gumshoe's, Francois searches for a seat away from Balzanno.
Taking out his pipe, he fiddles with some tobacco and lights it.
Tut. Perhaps zhe tobacco can overpower zhe smell of Monsieur Balzanno. While perhaps a useful tiny fellow, I cannot abide zhis smell.
Loud and raucous conversation filters through the door from the common room of the Uscalin Lodge, which doubles as the Ace of Dreams gambling house.
“I know it’s here. I had it just a moment ago.”
Venture-Captain Shevar Besnik lifts piles of papers and numerous boxes off of his desk, stacking them on various side tables and chairs in his clean but overly cluttered office. The tall, Varisian man’s face parts in a toothy grin as he lifts up a solid oak box.
“Found it!”
As if to punctuate his discovery, a crowd of players in the gambling hall erupts in cheers. Distracted for a moment, Besnik stares at the closed office door that leads to the common room.
“Desna laughs. Well, she laughs at me, but she smiles on them.”
The venture-captain shrugs.
“All they have is gold; what I have in here is far more valuable.”
Besnik opens the box’s lid painstakingly slowly, careful to keep the contents out of sight. With reverence, he lifts a large tome from the box and gently sets it on the table.
“Careful, the binding hasn’t held up well. This is one of the few Tomes of Righteous Repose left in the world. I’m pretty sure there’s one in the library of the Sancta Iomedaea in Vigil, but I’m—well, let’s just say I’m no longer welcome there. That’s a story for another time."
“Up until today, I’ve only skimmed the pages. I didn’t want to damage it, but now that you’re here, I can’t wait any longer. Care to plumb the depths of this most ancient and wonderful storybook? Oh, the marvelous adventures we will soon read! This tome is a collection of tales describing how various crusaders died gloriously and honorably. I’m hoping to find some clues in the text that will lead us to an as-of-yet undiscovered site or relic. Maybe we can trade a bit of what we find with the Knights of Ozem and earn ourselves some goodwill. After what happened last time, we need it.”
“Care to peruse the pages with me?”
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Miles jerks his hand way from Gumshoe, giving him a withering look.
In my head again. I can't deny the benefits but...
Hey pal!
He suppresses another eye twitch as Besnik begins to speak.
An eyebrow tilts at the Venture-Captain's admission of being unwanted in the Sancta Iomedaea.
I'll just keep track of that information for... later.
He looks aghast at Gumshoe, not because he's surprised, but because if he doesn't properly express his distaste, the detective might not learn from it.
Besnik misinterprets Miles' facial expression as genuine interest.
"I was once the lover of one of the cathedral’s librarians; a brilliant, insightful woman. Let’s just say she got caught shirking her duties with me in a room of sacred texts. The head librarian was not pleased with us.”
Besnik then looks toward Gumshoe, slightly perplexed, before providing a bit more context.
"Comic book? No, the Tome of Righteous Repose is far more important than your average comic book. You see, the early crusaders had amazing adventures fighting the Whispering Tyrant, orcs, and a whole host of other threats!"
Besnik pauses for a moment before continuing.
"However, they didn't keep very many records that aren’t as dry as an Iomedaean’s hip-flask. This tome gives us important insights into the crusaders’ adventures. Rellakarabee Fustbickle, the gnome author, interviewed dozens of crusaders and wrote about the most heroic and tragic deaths in this book. It wasn’t very widely published, so it’s been difficult to get my hands on it. The poetry is a bit purple, too. Not really my style—but perhaps it’s something you’d be able to interpret?”
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Balzanno leans forward, seeming to wish to elbow Besnik as he comments, but clearly unable to do so from the far side of the desk.
"AHHH! Women, ain't dey alls insightful and insane? Is I right or is I right? HA!"
Balzanno winks at Gabrielle, smacks his lips, and looks wistfully at the door as the cheers explode from the far side.
"I gots'ta be honest, Bezzie. I reads da summons was for goin' ta a tomb or some repos. Ya know, tomb -- witta 'B' at da ends? Or repos, like uhhh, reposis'stories?"
He looks at Francois, then Miles, then Gumby.
"Seems ya gots da booksies here. I mean, ya thinkin' dat maybe when someone's done wit their readins', a demon jumps outta da pages? If dat's da case, den I'm da right g'nome for da job!"
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Gumshoe seems a bit deflated as the Venture Captain describes the contents of the book.
Oh... I'm not quite as much of a fan of normal books, but I do speak Gnome. Maybe that will help? This purple poetry, is that like... the color of the text? I do like purple.
Looking over at Balzanno with a quizical expression.
You speak gnome too, right? I'm not familiar with your accent, but you sure look like a gnome.
Besnik shakes his head.
"What? No, its not the actual color purple. I mean to say that the writing is just overly melodramatic and over-the-top."
Expecting another literal interpretation from Gumshoe, Besnik tries his hand at explaining his point again.
"Um, that is to say that there are lots of... big words that mean the same thing."
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"Ah, yes, Fustbickle truly embodies the more... fantastical side of gnomish kind. I'm not much a fan of whimsy, I just have to work with it."
Miles glances sidelong for a moment at Gumshoe and continues.
"It's an interesting read, but how valuable is it really? There seems little way to differentiate the embellishments from the truth."
His brow furrows. There is nothing more frustrating to Miles than the obfuscation of the truth.
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Zhis does not look promising... Zhere is nothing here to restore me to my lost nobility, nor take vengeance on those peasants in Galt!! For once even zhe pungent gnome is correct! Perhaps zhis book is worth money, no?
"Hmmm.. Zhis gnome who wrote zhe book, while not writing classic literature worthy of respect, it may be useful... if one can get through zhe reading of it. Rumor has it, zhis gnome may have been on speaking terms with zhat Chelaxian goddess before she ascended.. Perhaps enough to be of worth to some scholar, no?
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"Oh Fustbickles! Dat guy! OHHHHH, dat guy! Yea, dat guy's amazin'! Us g'nomes gotta stick togetha' and yea, I knows all bouts dat guy."
Balzanno grins as Miles mentions gnomes as "fantastical".
"Hey! I likes that! Fantastical! Yea, you know dat Fustbickles used ta' be all palsy wit dat Yommadays back when she was just a gal witta sword..."
Balzanno sucks in some air before exhaling and looking at the door to the gambling hall with barely restrained anxiety.
"So, uh. We gonna keep chitchatting bout ol' Fustbickles's books, or you guys gonna scan it real quick so we can gets out dere and have some fun gamblin'?"
If dere's one 'ting I almost likes as much as tamblin' - it's gamblin'.
As you collectively share your own bits of information, Shevar Besnik gingerly opens The Tome of Righteous Repose and begins to carefully peruse it's pages.
As you huddle around his desk for a closer look, the Venture-Captain jolts upright as his eyes take in a piece of art followed by a poem on the opposite page.
“Minkai art! Let’s see, the Minkai Empire was founded in 3619, and the empire’s first explorers didn’t reach the west coast of the continent until at least 3691 ar, which leaves only sixty years before the beginning of the Shining Crusade itself. These women could have been among the first Minkai citizens to reach the Inner Sea! Let’s see, what secrets does the poem on this page hold?”
At his words, your eyes read over a poem titled “Sonnet of the Shattered Sword”. Once each of you has finished reading the poem, Besnik begins to quietly think out loud.
"So she died in battle, victim to orcs’ treachery. If we can locate this ruin and retrieve the samurai’s remains and her blade, we can present them to the Knights of Ozem for proper burial. Any ideas on where this might be? Looks like there are some clues in the poem.”
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Balzanno taps his foot as the poem is read aloud, seeming to find some reasonable rhythm to the words.
"Hey! An elf-chick? I bet she was a cutie! Any elf-chick samurai would hafta be!"
Balzanno actually takes a moment to consider the poem.
"So, uh, she was buried in Torag's place? Lookin' at some tears? Dat don't sound too bad. I dunno why dems Ozem Knights 'tink dey could do a betta' job... but whateva's."
Balzanno shrugs.
"Yer da vee-see, and I'm da meatshield! So, if we's just graduated from readin' poetry ta's smashin' some orc heads, just point me in da right direction!"
As another roar from the crowd in the gambling hall erupts, Balzanno gives it yet another wistful glance.
"But, I'm tinkin' dat our pay should be double if we takes it in house chips? Ehhh, Gabby, whatcha 'tink? A whole night gamblin' witta handful o' chips wit' da handsomest g-nome in da house?"
Balzanno grins, showing only a single golden tooth and somehow managing to display a shocking degree of charisma in his proposal.
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Francois frowns slightly.
"Tut.. It will be very dangerous, no? Zhe Hold of Belkzen has no natural resources, it is a barren wasteland.
To find zhis place is not simple. Zhe orcs inhabit zhe old fortresses of zhe dwarves and zhe Crusade.. There are many, no?
Zhis poem, it refers to a horde zhat was destroyed? Perhaps zhe Stranglegut clan.. Zhis clan was under zhe control of Tar-Baphon. And there is old dwarven fortresses in zhat area."
Besnik takes a step back as Francois provides you with several pieces of important information. While Miles and Gumshoe leverage their investigative skills to comb through the poem for clues, Besnik begins to rummage through his office again.
Your investigation reveals the the following information:
- The Stranglegut clan was a prominent horde of orcs allied with the Whispering Tyrant; in their day, they controlled the orc’s largest settlement, Urgir.
- Kala’s Rage was the name of a massive waterfall in Belkzen, 40 miles east of Urgir.
- Over time, the mountains became dry and the waterfall slowed to a trickle, earning the waterfall the name Kala’s Tears.
Having determined that this dried up waterfall in Belkzen is your best bet, you have a pretty good sense of where you are heading.
Besnik finishes his search of his office, and offers you a small collection of supplies.
"Feel free to take these with you, it's not much but it should help."
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Hey, Fran...Francio...Francis... Pal, Don't worry about the Orcs! I'm usually pretty good with resolving things without violence. And worst case scenario Balzanno here appears ready to take care of the violence for us. So long as it's self defense, that's fine by me! Unless attacking people without provocation is legal here?
Looking mildly concerned at this possibility, Gumshoe asks no one in particular.
Is that legal here!? Um, Venture Captain... Do you have a law book here that I can borrow?
Looking over the items offered up by the Venture Captain.
Ooo wands! I'm quite good with magic items. I think the boss can use these too, but he usually has me do stuff like that. I hope someone here is good at navigating. I didn't do so well in geography...
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Balzanno whiles away the night gamblin' like only a g-nome can before meeting with the others earlier after a rousing set of exercises.
"Gonna be a bittafa bummer travelin' fer a few weeks widdout my weightset, but ya knows, I 'tink I'll be a'ight."
Balzanno flexes and grins at Gabs, hefts his earth-brakker onto his shoulder and happily trudges ahead at gnomespeed .
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At the mention of a Samurai's blade, Miles' back straightens and his knuckles flex.
It doesn't take much notice to realize he's suddenly very interested in the mission—all signs of doubt in the value of this journey are gone.
He looks approvingly at the rest of of the group's contributions to deciphering the script, though he skirts his glance over Balzanno quite rapidly.
Great work from everyone so far. Now that we know where we are going, I'm certain I can lead the way there. We should acquire provisions and head out at dawn.
He nods appreciatively toward Venture Captain Besnik.
Thank you for the supplies, Venture Captain. Gumshoe, pack it up and load out. I trust I'll see the rest of you in the morning as well.
He nods curtly to the rest of the group before he departs, having a very hard time suppressing a smile.
For eleven days you walked the lands of Lastwall. On your twelfth day of traveling you entered the Hold of Belkzen, an unforgiving wasteland filled with shrub brush, steep mountains, and uneven badlands. After two days of traveling through rugged terrain you reach your destination, a wide ledge half-way up a the side of a craggy mountain.
Hot winds blow ash through the air; it collects against the rocky wall of this ancient structure. Four stone columns mark the entrance, where a fifteen-foot-wide stair descends into darkness.
The dwarven statuary here is hardly recognizable, as the elements have all but eroded them into obscurity. You can only just make out vague outlines of enormous reliefs depicting all manner of dwarves covering the outside walls.
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Although wholly unnecessary, Balzanno flexes as the group arrives at the old dwarven, structure.
"Hey yo! It's dark in dere!"
The g-nome taps his temple.
"Good 'ting I can sees in da dark! Da orcs won't even know we's comin'!"
The g-nomes face lights up.
"Ohhh! I gotta joke about dat, wait til yous hears dis, Gabs!"
Balzanno occasionally glances down at his feet, mumbling mostly to himself.
"Gotta be a trap 'rounds here somewhere..."
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Seeming a bit concerned at the idea of continuing in the dark. Turning to address Francois.
Um... I don't know about you and Gabrielle, but the boss and I don't see so well in the dark. If we want to try and be sneaky I have a potion that will fix that for a little while, but I also have options for light sources.
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Miles has changed into his adventuring gear, looking much more like a proper samurai in a finely crafted mithril breastplate of Tien manufacture and a katana sheathed at his side. He wears a small buckler with the symbol of Shizuru emblazoned on it on his left arm. Somehow, however, he is still wearing a cravat and making it look good.
I feel as though it's better we provide our own advantage in the depths. Dwarves and orcs both favor the dark, and much of party is quite the opposite. Allow me to light our way.
He looks mildly perturbed by Balzano's rush headlong into danger, and hurries to "keep up," though not without taking careful note of his surroundings.
Balzanno brazenly waltzes down the stairs, but you have no trouble keeping pace with him if you choose to follow behind him.
As he continues down the passageway ignoring three different corridors, there is a brief moment where you suspect that he is moving with some sort of purpose.
As you quickly pass this room, you notice bits of pottery and fractured stone on the floor.
The statue at the far end of this room appears to have been intentionally damaged several times.
Atop a stepped dais is a gargantuan humanoid skull that glows with an eerie blue light. A wagon with a broken axle leans against the northern wall. Damaged wooden crates spill out from the cart onto the floor.
When Balzanno walks around the room in a complete circle, you begin to wonder if there is any method to his madness whatsoever.
In this alcove is an impressive dragon statue.
This room’s stonework suggests a dwarven architect, but the floor and walls display carvings of Tien design. Miles quickly notes that at least some parts of this room appear to be dedicated to Shizuru. There are carvings of swimming carp, Shizuru’s sacred animal, that cover the western wall. The eastern wall has a massive carving that depicts a katana over the sun, Shizuru’s holy symbol. On the northern wall is a carving of two Minkai elven women standing before funerary pyre. The floor boasts the carving of an imperial sky dragon.
The carvings themselves are impressive, but not impressive enough to stop Balzanno from marching into the next room.
A charred orc corpse hanging over a pool of blood accentuates the grisly atmosphere in this befouled shrine. Towards the far end of the room, broken implements of bloodletting and torture lie at the feet of a stone statue of a winged beast. The beasts outstretched arms appear to be pointing in the direction of the orc's lifeless body.
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Balzanno begins his explorations.
"Ehhh, broken bits'n'bats..."
"Statue dats taken some whacks..."
"Eerie glowin' skall on a dayse. Wagen and crats."
Balzanno shrugs.
"Ahhh, come take a look Gabs! Big draggen' statue!"
Balzanno looks into its mouth and makes a fierce face.
"Nada ta try n' kills us yet!"
As he enters the fifth room, Balzanno scans it.
"Ehh, take a look at dem elf gals! Dems probably da ones in da poem!"
Balzanno grins like he's managed a complex deduction on his own.
"No loot, no baddies. Next door! Dere a damn door in dis joint??"
He stops short at the charred orc corpse.
"Ahhh! Whadda we have here? Looks like dis orc pissed off dis statue real good."
Balzanno walks up to the statue and pokes in in the shoulder.
"Eh! Whadda dis orc do ta you?"
He turns to Miles and Francois.
"What's dis? Some sorta Tien draggen?"
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Seeming more in his natural element while investigating something. Gumshoe adopts a more serious tone than is normal.
It looks like this place used to be dedicated to Torag, but it has been badly damaged. The orcs appear to have created crude drawings of Nulgreth, the Orc god of bloodlust and fighting.
Realizing that Balzanno hasn't moved onto the next room already only because of the question about the winged creature.
It's not any creature I'm familiar with, but the boss is better with these things than I am. Any ideas boss?
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Upon Gumshoe's request of identifying the statue, Miles gives a noncommittal shrug.
I'm afraid this creature happens to be beyond even my realm of expertise.
As the group moves into the room dedicated to Shizuru, Miles stops dead in his tracks. There is audible surprise in his voice, an unusual note for his normally even-toned tenor.
Shizuru? he whispers in wonder. This is truly an unusual place to find an ode to a Minkaian deity. There must be some greater meaning here.
Miles doesn't notice Balzanno's continued gait as he takes closer examination of the room.
for
for for
Balzanno pokes the statue again, and its eyes flare with devilish red flames as it roars and clamps its jaws around his arm with deadly efficiency. As Balzanno recoils, the blood from his wound oozes unnaturally towards the pool in the center of the room.
Surprize Round
8 Not Statue: Crit bites Balzanno for 25.
Round 1
24 Miles:
16 Gumshoe:
15 Francois/Gabrielle:
15 Balzanno (25dmg): Will bleed for 4 on his turn.
8 Not Statue:
Now up: Everyone!
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The roar from down the hall snaps Miles out of his fascination with the Shizuru themed room, much to his chagrin.
Balzanno! What manner of ridiculousness have you gotten yourself into?!
He strides into the room but stops shy of the pool of blood, realizing the gap is too large for him to risk leaping. Instead, he carefully assesses the situation, eyeing the "not-statue" for weaknesses.
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"Oh no draggen! Oh no! Oh no, you DINNIT!!"
Balzanno seems to suddenly flare up in rage, apparently shocked that the statue he's poked several times has decided to snack on him.
for
HP: 39/64 (54->64 in bloodrage)
Effects Active:
Blur (from bloodrage)
Spells Remaining:
1st: 0/3
Bloodrage remaining: 14/15
Flare remaining: 1/1
Prestigitation remaining: 1/1
Produce Flame remaining: 1/1
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Round 1, Initiative 16
Hypnotic Stare on "Not a Statue" - That creature takes a –2 penalty on Will saving throws. The creature doesn't remember that it was affected (nor does it realize that it is currently being affected).
I will trigger Painful Stare on Not a Statue the first time it takes - Target of Hypnotic Stare takes 2 precision damage.
Hey, pal! You stop right there! Boss, what is that thing?
Gabrielle lands a precise blow, and while effective, it doesn't appear to do as much as she expected it should have.
Miles is mildly perturbed due to the interruption, while Gumshoe draws the gaze of the not-a-statue.
Balzanno unleashes his rage with his "massive" earthbreaker, and for an instant it looks as though the not-a-statue is about to retaliate. Then with a twinge of pain, it crumbles into pieces of rubble upon the altar.
With the impish statue destroyed, you are have a moment to tend to your wounds before before continuing your exploration.
Balzanno pauses briefly before venturing into the next room with Francois and Gabrielle in tow, while Miles and Gumshoe return to the previous room.
This room's floor contains sleep mats and clothes in various degrees of filth. Gabrielle immediately notices that one of the pile of clothes looks like it is hiding something. As you investigate you find the following:
- Acid flask x12
- Alchemist’s fire x12
- Antitoxin x2
- Antiplague x2
- Shadow essence poison x4
- and an unidentified elixir
After administering some healing to Balzanno, Miles returns to the previous room with Gumshoe in tow while Balzanno, Francois, and Gabrielle continue to explore.
Additional sleeping mats and refuse clutter this room.
You know that this A 5-foot-wide pit descends at least 65ft, as those of you with darkvision are unable to see the bottom.
Burned wood, pottery fragments, and ancient dwarven utensils litter the floor. Carved maps of the surrounding area decorate the walls. You notice that several of the maps have either been poorly modified with simple runes (in a language none of you recognize) or defaced entirely.
As you return to room with the dais, you swing by to check in on Miles and Gumshoe who appear to have completed their research.
Aside from confirming his suspicions that this room is indeed dedicated to Shizuru, Miles has deduced that the walls in this room were renovated long after the original dwarven structure was created. It appears as though whoever rebuilt this room intended for it to be a shrine of personal significance.
As you continue on, you notice that the bits of pottery you passed on you way into the ruins appear to be from smashed display cases. What remains in this room is nothing more than damaged relics dedicated to various dwarven gods as well as an unrecognizable statue in the northwestern corner.
The southern end of the room ahead appears to branch off in two separate directions.