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LOL Although I think I'd make it Craft (Cooking) check or Profession (Chef) check. :D
No, no, Confectioner.
54. You've been sweating so profusely from your palm for so long that it at last takes its full toll on your weapon, which must make a Fortitude save (DC 13+your Constitution modifier) or suffer the effect of a rusting grasp spell.
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I'm thinking Kill Doctor Lucky here.
"A cat yowls in the distance. You momentarily hate it more than the goblin before you. The feeling quickly passes."
56. You become inexplicably sovereign glued to your weapon... (One hand only if it's two handed)
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57. You are overwhelmed by your own battle-frenzy and suffer a small stroke. You are stunned for 1d4 rounds, take 1 point each of Dexterity, Constitution, Intelligence, and Wisdom drain, and a negative level. A successful Fortitude save means you are dazed instead of stunned, and the ability drain is ability damage instead, and a separate Fortitude save can negate the negative level.
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58. Your opponent thinks you want to dance, so he/she/it grabs your flailing arms and waltzes with you momentarily.
a. If you fight, then he/she/it turns that motion into a Grapple with a +5.
b. If you dance with him/her/it for 1d3 rounds, it will not attack you, bows politely afterwards, and walks away.
59. Your flaccid attempt makes even the gods cry (or laugh) … and it rains, just on you, for the rest of this battle, wherever or however you move. And if you try to metagame your way outta it, it starts hailing… just on you, for 1d6 damage per round, until the battle ends! So take it like a ... PC!
60. You accidently hit a random passing bird in midflight, which is now impaled on your weapon, causing -1 on your next Attack and Damage roll.
61. You whiff so badly that your party members literally facepalm themselves in total disbelieve, losing 1 round of attack, Attack of Opportunity and movement.
62. Your incredibly dexterous but wildly inappropriate flailing has carved a sigil of incredible power into the space between dimensions, drawing the unwanted attention of an ancient-beyond-time’s-reckoning being. An immense … “hand” (of sorts) reaches between the void of time and space, plucks your weapon out of your hands, wags its “finger” at you, and disappears (with your weapon).
63. Whatever you ate last night clearly isn’t agreeing with you, in a VERY loud and squishy way. Yup, you dinged your diapers so bad its running down whatever armor you have on. The odor is so atrocious that not only do your own party members all immediately take a 5-foot step away from you, but any opponent(s) within 20 feet of you immediately move 5 feet away, as well. Any opponents already fighting you, back away 10 feet (full defensive). Any character (PC or NPC) or creature on the board within 20 feet of you that can’t move away as indicated starts gagging for 1d3 rounds.
a. BTW – if character tries to move forward to take Attack of Opportunity, slips in his/her own …detris … Reflex save DC15 to not fall down, into that mess you made.
64. That cheap replacement belt you bought in the last town simply was not designed for the frenzied motions that you call “fighting”, and snaps. This drops any weapons, potions, etc on the ground (no damage), AND your money bag … which does split open, spilling all your coins and gems everywhere. Any opponents with INT between 3 – 10 immediately rolls WILL save DC 15, else stops fighting and jumps onto your life savings like a broken piñata. If you don’t jump in too, they’ll make off with your funds next round
57. You are overwhelmed by your own battle-frenzy and suffer a small stroke. You are stunned for 1d4 rounds, take 1 point each of Dexterity, Constitution, Intelligence, and Wisdom drain, and a negative level. A successful Fortitude save means you are dazed instead of stunned, and the ability drain is ability damage instead, and a separate Fortitude save can negate the negative level.
Ouch, that's Harsh.
58. Your opponent thinks you want to dance, so he/she/it grabs your flailing arms and waltzes with you momentarily.
a. If you fight, then he/she/it turns that motion into a Grapple with a +5.
b. If you dance with him/her/it for 1d3 rounds, it will not attack you, bows politely afterwards, and walks away.59. Your flaccid attempt makes even the gods cry (or laugh) … and it rains, just on you, for the rest of this battle, wherever or however you move. And if you try to metagame your way outta it, it starts hailing… just on you, for 1d6 damage per round, until the battle ends! So take it like a ... PC!
60. You accidently hit a random passing bird in midflight, which is now impaled on your weapon, causing -1 on your next Attack and Damage roll.
These. I love these! Especially the dancing one. I may steal that for my list. :D
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65. Your so-called battle motions cause you to lose your balance.
a) If swinging anything (e.g., axe, sword, quarterstaff, etc), roll 1d3 to determine which direction you've spun yourself around (1=90 degrees, 2=180 degrees, 3=270 degrees).
b) If firing any loaded weapon (e.g., box, crossbow, firearm, etc), its recoil has knocked you on your butt.
c) If any other martial motion (e.g, movement in/out of battle, acrobatics, ninja/thief special actions, etc), you've tripped yourself, halting your motion & losing any stealth you may have been attempting.
d) If a magic user performing any magic, roll 1d3 (1= tongue-tied for 1 round, 2= finger cramps for 1 round, 3= mental block for 1 round).
e) If a bardic performance, you've hurt yourself (e.g., hit a note 1 octave too high, spun too quickly and dizzy, choked yourself on your own seven silks, etc), and lose the effect for 1 round.
66. Several random NPC creatures walking through the area see your wild shenanigans and stop to verbally harass you for the next 1d6 rounds, which messes with your mojo enough to cause a -1 on your Attack and Defense rolls while they continue.
67. You move into a micro-pocket of wild magic, causing 1 random magic item on your person to lose 1 use (if multiple uses remain) OR lose 1 characteristic (e.g., keen, holy, etc) OR lose 1 level of stored magic (e.g., ring of storing or similar) OR release its magical contents (e.g., bag of holding or similar). IF you have zero magical items on your person, then your mouth is suddenly filled with worms.
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68. You suddenly have an incredibly strong inclination that your opponent is imaginary – some critter straight out the spellbook of some out-of-sight spellcaster – and you decide to attempt "disbelieve" right there on the spot.
69. You’ve uhhhh, un-gendered yourself. Whether by axe, sword, arrow, etc, or wild magic, however it happens, you are now a eunuch!
70. You hit yourself on the head, inexplicably causing you to lie about everything for 1 full day.
71. You suddenly find yourself with terrible heartburn, causing you to belch what appears to be tiny blue flames (“what was IN that stew?”, “I guess that ale really has gone bad.”, “last time I eat at THAT halfling’s ramshackle hovel!”), for 1d3 rounds, causing 1d4 HP damage to yourself each round. [Player may attempt to use this against his/her opponent, but must successfully Grapple, then successfully Bite.]
CORRECTION to:
67. You move into a micro-pocket of wild magic, causing 1 random magic item on your person to lose 1 use (if multiple uses remain) OR lose 1 characteristic (e.g., keen, holy, etc) OR lose 1 level of stored magic (e.g., ring of storing or similar) OR release its magical contents (e.g., bag of holding or similar). IF you have zero magical items on your person, then your mouth is suddenly filled with worms.
67. You move into a micro-pocket of wild magic, causing 1 random magic item on your person to lose 1 use (if multiple uses remain) OR lose 1 characteristic (e.g., keen, holy, etc) OR lose 1 level of stored magic (e.g., ring of storing or similar) OR release its magical contents (e.g., bag of holding or similar). IF you have zero magical items on your person, then your mouth is suddenly filled with worms, refilling each round for 1d4 rounds causing a -2 disgust (distraction) penalty on all rolls.
WAIT! I have a house-rule that says that ANY roll of "69" always turns out best possible for the player's character! So here's my replacement for #69 above (so here's the renumbered entries:)
69. You are so lucky! Your mad flailings have your opponent so confused that in their attempt to defend against you, they (roll 1d6):
a. (1) Drop their weapon
b. (2) Hit themselves (max damage)
c. (3) Hit themselves & knock themselves out cold
d. (4) Hit one of their own peers (if no other opponents, then their weapon goes sailing off at least 10 feet away from them)
e. (5) They are confused (NOT like the spell) and cannot take an action this round as they try to figure out WTH you just tried to do.
f. (6) They roll a percentile dice against this same chart!!!
70. You’ve uhhhh, un-gendered yourself. Whether by axe, sword, arrow, etc, or wild magic, however it happens, you are now a eunuch!
71. You hit yourself on the head, inexplicably causing you to lie about everything for 1 full day.
72. You suddenly find yourself with terrible heartburn, causing you to belch what appears to be tiny blue flames (“what was IN that stew?”, “I guess that ale really has gone bad.”, “last time I eat at THAT halfling’s ramshackle hovel!”), for 1d3 rounds, causing 1d4 HP damage to yourself each round. [Player may attempt to use this against his/her opponent, but must successfully Grapple, then successfully Bite.]
73. For whatever reason, your opponent reminds you of someone (roll 1d4):
a. (1) You tear up thinking of your dear mother (gods bless her soul) - take a -1 penalty on any action that requires you to see whatever you’re doing for 1 round.
b. (2) Your heart burns in fear and anger as images of your hard-nosed, penny-pinching, never-gave-you-a-thing-but-beatings father – momentary “rage” gives you a +1 to your Attack rolls (+2 if you Charge immediately) for 1 round.
c. (3) Memories of your wise maternal grandfather, including how he saved you once from those gang of young thugs (who knew Gramps was a Soldier of the Realm!) – gives you a +1 Wisdom-based gain on your next roll.
d. (4) Your stomach churns at the … ahem, “creative”… dishes your paternal grandmother used to make (this clearly explains your father’s anger at the world!) – take a -1 penalty on any motion or magic action for 1 round, but also take a +1 bonus on your next Will-based roll (you learned to swallow a lot of bad things in this world from dear old Grams)(one time, but can be used anytime that same “day”).
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WAIT! I have a house-rule that says that ANY roll of "69" always turns out best possible for the player's character! So here's my replacement for #69 above (so here's the renumbered entries:)
Ours is 42. Since it's the answer to life, the universe and everything. 69 gains you a rank in Profession (Seducer/Seductress)...
Ours is 42. Since it's the answer to life, the universe and everything. 69 gains you a rank in Profession (Seducer/Seductress)...WAIT! I have a house-rule that says that ANY roll of "69" always turns out best possible for the player's character! So here's my replacement for #69 above (so here's the renumbered entries:)
Whoa! I like that houserule for 69! I might have to include that in my options! Thanks! And thanks for getting my creativity on this going! I've been meaning to create a list like this for quite awhile for my home game. Now its 3/4 done! :-)
Whoa! I like that houserule for 69! I might have to include that in my options! Thanks! And thanks for getting my creativity on this going! I've been meaning to create a list like this for quite awhile for my home game. Now its 3/4 done! :-)Ours is 42. Since it's the answer to life, the universe and everything. 69 gains you a rank in Profession (Seducer/Seductress)...WAIT! I have a house-rule that says that ANY roll of "69" always turns out best possible for the player's character! So here's my replacement for #69 above (so here's the renumbered entries:)
I've had one for years. LOL
Most of them are totally ridiculous. (See the first post about rabbits flying past)...
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Ours is 42. Since it's the answer to life, the universe and everything. 69 gains you a rank in Profession (Seducer/Seductress)...WAIT! I have a house-rule that says that ANY roll of "69" always turns out best possible for the player's character! So here's my replacement for #69 above (so here's the renumbered entries:)
Shouldn't a roll of 69 be a good outcome for player and GM? I'm just saying...
Shouldn't a roll of 69 be a good outcome for player and GM? I'm just saying...Ours is 42. Since it's the answer to life, the universe and everything. 69 gains you a rank in Profession (Seducer/Seductress)...WAIT! I have a house-rule that says that ANY roll of "69" always turns out best possible for the player's character! So here's my replacement for #69 above (so here's the renumbered entries:)
LOL! That might not be recommended in most gaming groups! Jez sayin'
What number are we on? 74 now?
74: As your swing your blade, a choir plays an angellic song for the beauty of your swing that echoes throughout the battlefield (no matter how large). Unfortunately, this beautiful music distracts you, since this is not the critical hit chart. You spend 1d4-1 (minimum 1) rounds sobbing at the beautiful music, during which you are unable to act.
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57. You are overwhelmed by your own battle-frenzy and suffer a small stroke. You are stunned for 1d4 rounds, take 1 point each of Dexterity, Constitution, Intelligence, and Wisdom drain, and a negative level. A successful Fortitude save means you are dazed instead of stunned, and the ability drain is ability damage instead, and a separate Fortitude save can negate the negative level.Ouch, that's Harsh.
*shrug* I was trying to accurately codify the effects of a mild-to-moderate stroke.
75. Your attack finds its mark! Unfortunately for you, you wind up striking a malignant tumor your enemy hadn't even realized they were suffering from, and completely excising it from their body, dealing 1d4 points of damage to them and permanently raising their Constitution score (which would have been higher but for the cancer) by 1d6 points.
76. You make yourself look like such a dolt that you come off as nothing so much as a common mook, and your enemy has a sort of personal epiphany regarding where they stand relative to you qualitatively, consequently gaining the benefits of a heroism spell as cast by a 5th-level Wizard.
77. Your fancy weaponwork fails to harm your oppenent, but the precise combination of motions and seemingly-incoherent gibbering turn out to be the somatic and verbal components to an otherwise-unknown spell, which causes an explosion of magical weapon-tips to burst from your weapon, dealing the weapon's base damage die and damage type, multiplied by your character level, to all within a 15-foot radius of you, with a Reflex save (DC 10+3d6) allowed for half damage.
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76. Your attack breaks the time-space barrier. It deals normal damage to your target, 1d6 rounds later.
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77. Your attack breaks the time-space barrier. It deals normal damage to whoever occupies the space you attacked, 1d6 rounds later.
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78. Thanks to a disruption of local ley lines, you do max damage with your weapon. However, it is dealt in 1 point increments per round, for as many rounds as you dealt damage.
(In effect, a 1-point DoT attack until you reach your max damage)
79. As you make your attack, you suddenly recall dirty joke told to you by a gnome prostitute. Your weapon gets thrown 5*1d6 feet away as you fall prone with a fit of hysteric laughter.
80. Your attack breaks the time-space barrier. Roll as if you had missed with a thrown splash weapon. You deal normal damage to what or whomever is within that square.
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83. Your attack is interrupted by the ground beneath you shaking and jerking upward as one of the Mole People from the Center of the World suddenly opens one of their secret hatches into this room. You are moved 5 feet upwards and must make a DC 15 Reflex save or be knocked prone. "Oops, sorry, wrong door," says the Mole Person 1 round later before heading back down and returning your patch of floor to where it was.
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We have 83 so far. Here's the list as it stands.
1. You see a flock of rabbits fly by. Rabbits. With wings. Fly in the air past you.
2. Being self-confident is one thing. Being so confident that you yell "I AM INVINCIBLE" as you attack, giving your opponent plenty of time to dodge is another. You miss.
3. A fly just flew up your nose. Your opponent must make a will save <insert appropriate DC> or lose 1d4 rounds while laughing at you.
4. Prepare to meet your mak.... AAAAARRGGGGHHHHH, CRAAMP!
5. Your attack knocks over a bookshelf. Librarians now hate you and will attack you on sight.
6. You stab your opponent, yet he seems uneffected. His eyes meet yours as he says, "my name is Inigo Montoya! You killed my father, prepare to die!"
7. You accidentally step into an alternate dimension and pretty soon you get abducted by some aliens who's faces kinda look like Jaime Farr!
8. You scream your name drawing out the vowels while charging directly into the point of the enemies sword much to the consternation of your allies.
9. in an attempt to feint you put your left foot in then take your left foot out, then put your left foot back in and shake it all about. This fails.
10. Evil Lincoln is your GM. He asks "Was that your first attack of the round?" and you say "Nope." and he says "Your attack misses. No other effect." Real suggestion: You left your sword in the scabbard. Miss, and spend a move action drawing the weapon.
11. Ker-click! Looks like you forgot to load powder into your weapon!
12. You are distracted by a parade of clowns.
13. You attempt to Quick Draw your Greatsword, but the blade sticks in the scabbard. You wind up flipping yourself forward and are now prone on your back.
14. Your opponent moves against the setting sun. You are momentarily blinded and miss an otherwise easy mark. Nasty DM version: you are also dazzled until your next turn.
15. Nothing happens. You hit if your total equal or exceeds your opponent's AC. This roll triggers an environmental effect. Your GM rules that rain starts to pour. Terrain becomes slippery on the following round
16. Bugger keeps moving. Rather than swinging wildly, you consolidate your position and thus end your round. All your attacks gain a +2 bonus on the following turn.
17. Loose rubble makes you lose footing. All further attacks this round are made with a -2 penalty.
18. Your quiver topples and empties its content on the spot and your attack misses as you curse the merchant who sold you the stuff. Further attacks are unaffected as long as you stay on the spot. Otherwise, picking up your arrows is a full round action.
19. You ready your attack and right as you make it you sneeze causing your <spell, sword, arrow, etc> to miss its mark.
20. You take a stance and ready your attack. Right as you are about to attack you break wind, loudly. Everyone makes a <insert appropriate dc> will save or spend the next round laughing.
21. You take a step and hear a riiiip. You tore your pants. Who knew you wore underwear with pink hearts on them!
22. As you draw back your sword for a devastating slice, the blade suddenly comes free from the hilt, and flies back behind you in a straight path, lodging itself in the nearest surface. Meanwhile, as you bring your sword arm forward, you meet your enemies eyes, and without missing a beat you shout, "HA HA! Slash! Stabby! Stabby!" as you poke him with your sword hilt.
23. Your attack connects, but you become distracted as your opponent looks at you with goo-goo eyes. Your opponent then claims "Aw, you must like me, you took it easy on me. You're kinda cute yourself big boy".
24. As you stare down your adversary, you are blindsided by a sudden thought: How many people have I killed in the past month alone? What am I becoming? Make a Will save or suffer the effects of a terrible remorse spell with a CL equal to your character level.
25.[/b] You accidentally fire your gun BEFORE drawing it from its holster - make a REALLY HIGH Reflex save; if you make it, you won't have just scored a critical threat on yourself, nor will you have been spayed/neutered.
26. You decide to experiment with a new and different battle-cry, but as soon as you say the first word of it, a strange duck statuette abruptly drops from the ceiling on the end of a string, with the word you just uttered on a placard around its neck. Everyone else in the room - bystanders, your enemies, and fellow party members alike - erupts into spontaneous applause.
27. You nock your arrow and let fly - you can't imagine how or why, but it flies in the direct opposite of the direction you were aiming. If there's a creature behind you, it is the target of the attack, but due to being hit by the arrow's shaft, will suffer 2 fewer points of damage if hit, as well as that damage being bludgeoning.
28. Rather than withdrawing and hurling an entire fan of shuriken from your pouch as expected, you withdraw your hand only to discover a single shuriken that you've somehow managed to fold into a perfect origami goose. It's worthless as a weapon, but is worth at least 25 gp as an art object.
29. You reach down for your weapon, and wind up exposing yourself instead. Roll 1d6 on the following table:
1: All creatures of the same type as you in a 15-foot cone must make a Will save or be overcome with laughter for 1d3 rounds.
2: All creatures of the same type as you in a 15-foot cone must make a Will save or be fascinated for 1d3 rounds.
3: All creatures of the same type as you in a 15-foot cone must make a Will save or be shaken for 1d3 rounds.
4: All sentient creatures of a different type than you in a 15-foot cone must make a Will save or be fascinated for 1d6-1 (minimum 0) rounds as they try to figure out what they're looking at and why.
5: One creature who can see you and might be capable of sexual attraction to you must make a Will Save or suffer the effect of a charm person spell.
6: All attacks against you within the next round have their critical threat ranges tripled.
30. Instead of a normal acid arrow, you spray your enemy with a powerful, epiphany-inducing psychedelic; in the apparent blink of an eye, they embark on and return from a mind-expanding dream quest, permanently raising their Intelligence, Wisdom, and Charisma scores by 1 each.
31. The weapon that you are holding suddenly falls apart, leaving you holding a red cylinder with a wick burning in one end, which quickly burns down as the cylinder explodes. Make a Reflex save... evasion does NOT apply.
32. You step onto a wet bar of soap and slide 10 feet in a random direction, arms flailing all the while (roll 1d8 to determine direction, roll Reflex save DC 20 to NOT fall).
33. Okay, who dropped the soap? That stuff's worse than banana peels! Make a DC 25 reflex save or end up prone, but very clean.
34. You slip on a bar of soap. It flies across the room, catching air, ricochets off a few walls and then hits <determine person randomly> in the face stunning them for 1d4 rounds.
35. Uncontrollable Muscle Spasm: Make three separate attack rolls and then roll a d10 for direction. 1-8 are normal direction results, while a result of 9 or 0 means you hit yourself with your own weapon.
36. Somehow, a bit of the essence of the last creature you slew with your weapon yet lingers within it, and has chosen this moment to flare up before passing on - for the next 1d10 minutes, your weapon acquires one of the following special properties: holy (if the last creature you slew was Good), unholy (if the last creature you slew was Evil), axiomatic (if the last creature you slew was Lawful), anarchic (if the last creature you slew was Chaotic), or vicious (if the last creature you slew was Neutral Neutral); if the last creature you slew was LG, LE, CG, or CE, determine which of the two properties the weapon takes on randomly.
36. The universe explodes. Just goes boom. And it's all your fault. Nice job idiot.
37. Your sword flies from your hands and goes missing. No you can't find it by rolling perception. I don't care if it's got Returning. No, using Locate Object won't work. Just go along with it and stop metagaming!!!
38. Brain decides to remind you of every mistake nd stupid thing you ever made, distracting you while also destroying your self-esteem.
39. Your compatriot decides this is the right time to tell you that he slept with your Significant Other. Twice. On your birthday.
40. Your weapon freezes in your hands, demanding a share of the loot and refusing to strike another enemy until it gets it. Meanwhile, the potions you keep on hand are chanting "Union! Union! Union!..."
41. You flail around so embarrassingly, your allies witnessing this receive a -1 morale penalty next round on all attack and save rolls.
42. You utter "Oh no, not again" as you leave yourself open to a free attack of opportunity from your opponent.
43. There once was the sword of a knight
that traveled much faster than light
it lashed out one day
in a relative way
and came back on the previous night.
You swing your sword at FTL speed, causing you to have stabbed yourself in the back with it last night. In addition to normal damage from the attack, you suffer Sneak Attack damage as a Rogue of half your level (minimum 1st), minus however many hit points you heal by way of normal rest.
44. You spend the round debating the number of fumbles you've made so far.
45. Not only do you drop your weapon, your hand gets scared and jumps off your wrist!
Roll 1d20:
1 - It goes berserk from panic and tries to throttle you until someone "puts it down".
2-19 - It skitters into the unknown, never to return.
20 - It skitters into the unknown, never to return - or so you think, until it comes back several levels later in the adventure, with class levels and loot of its own, as the greatest GMPC your players have ever seen!
46. Your weapon begins to sob uncontrollably, interladen with exclamations of, "I can't believe I'm stuck with this loser!" for the next 1d6 rounds, as you also gain a -2 to hit and damage as the sobbing as rather distracting and throws off aim.
47. You suddenly fall into fits of uncontrollable sneezing, so disruptive that all combat stops as your compatriots, and even your foes stop their activities as they look at you with either concern for your well-being, or worry that whatever you've got is contagious.
48. Stumble over an unseen imaginary deceased turtle. You loose 2 rounds of offensive action but can parry.
49. You stumble over an invisible, LIVE, irritable turtle, which in turn bites your foot for 1d4 points of damage. Your next attack is at -2 due to distraction.
50.You and your oppenent are hit with an invisible wizards baleful polymorph spell, no save. This only targets your weapons. Your weapons are now fluffy bunny rabbits, spend four move actions to pet the bunny or take a -1 penalty on everything due to bunny cuteness. Attacking the bunny results in your weapon returning, with the broken condition.
51. You have angered the invisible weregoat! Now you have another combatant to fight.
52. You stumble over a Crunchy Raw Unboned Real Dead Frog - make a successful Craft (Confectioner) check if you want to avoid prosecution.
53. You get so mad you forget what you were doing and bite your opponent instead. Roll 1d4 for damage unless you actually have a bite attack.
54. You've been sweating so profusely from your palm for so long that it at last takes its full toll on your weapon, which must make a Fortitude save (DC 13+your Constitution modifier) or suffer the effect of a rusting grasp spell.
55. "A cat yowls in the distance. You momentarily hate it more than the goblin before you. The feeling quickly passes."
56. You become inexplicably sovereign glued to your weapon... (One hand only if it's two handed)
57. You are overwhelmed by your own battle-frenzy and suffer a small stroke. You are stunned for 1d4 rounds, take 1 point each of Dexterity, Constitution, Intelligence, and Wisdom drain, and a negative level. A successful Fortitude save means you are dazed instead of stunned, and the ability drain is ability damage instead, and a separate Fortitude save can negate the negative level.
58. Your opponent thinks you want to dance, so he/she/it grabs your flailing arms and waltzes with you momentarily.
a. If you fight, then he/she/it turns that motion into a Grapple with a +5.
b. If you dance with him/her/it for 1d3 rounds, it will not attack you, bows politely afterwards, and walks away.
59. Your flaccid attempt makes even the gods cry (or laugh) … and it rains, just on you, for the rest of this battle, wherever or however you move. And if you try to metagame your way outta it, it starts hailing… just on you, for 1d6 damage per round, until the battle ends! So take it like a ... PC!
60. You accidently hit a random passing bird in midflight, which is now impaled on your weapon, causing -1 on your next Attack and Damage roll.
61. You whiff so badly that your party members literally facepalm themselves in total disbelieve, losing 1 round of attack, Attack of Opportunity and movement.
62. Your incredibly dexterous but wildly inappropriate flailing has carved a sigil of incredible power into the space between dimensions, drawing the unwanted attention of an ancient-beyond-time’s-reckoning being. An immense … “hand” (of sorts) reaches between the void of time and space, plucks your weapon out of your hands, wags its “finger” at you, and disappears (with your weapon).
63. Whatever you ate last night clearly isn’t agreeing with you, in a VERY loud and squishy way. Yup, you dinged your diapers so bad its running down whatever armor you have on. The odor is so atrocious that not only do your own party members all immediately take a 5-foot step away from you, but any opponent(s) within 20 feet of you immediately move 5 feet away, as well. Any opponents already fighting you, back away 10 feet (full defensive). Any character (PC or NPC) or creature on the board within 20 feet of you that can’t move away as indicated starts gagging for 1d3 rounds.
63a.[/b] BTW – if character tries to move forward to take Attack of Opportunity, slips in his/her own …detris … Reflex save DC15 to not fall down, into that mess you made.
64. That cheap replacement belt you bought in the last town simply was not designed for the frenzied motions that you call “fighting”, and snaps. This drops any weapons, potions, etc on the ground (no damage), AND your money bag … which does split open, spilling all your coins and gems everywhere. Any opponents with INT between 3 – 10 immediately rolls WILL save DC 15, else stops fighting and jumps onto your life savings like a broken piñata. If you don’t jump in too, they’ll make off with your funds next round
65. Your so-called battle motions cause you to lose your balance.
a) If swinging anything (e.g., axe, sword, quarterstaff, etc), roll 1d3 to determine which direction you've spun yourself around (1=90 degrees, 2=180 degrees, 3=270 degrees).
b) If firing any loaded weapon (e.g., box, crossbow, firearm, etc), its recoil has knocked you on your butt.
c) If any other martial motion (e.g, movement in/out of battle, acrobatics, ninja/thief special actions, etc), you've tripped yourself, halting your motion & losing any stealth you may have been attempting.
d) If a magic user performing any magic, roll 1d3 (1= tongue-tied for 1 round, 2= finger cramps for 1 round, 3= mental block for 1 round).
e) If a bardic performance, you've hurt yourself (e.g., hit a note 1 octave too high, spun too quickly and dizzy, choked yourself on your own seven silks, etc), and lose the effect for 1 round.
66. Several random NPC creatures walking through the area see your wild shenanigans and stop to verbally harass you for the next 1d6 rounds, which messes with your mojo enough to cause a -1 on your Attack and Defense rolls while they continue.
67. You move into a micro-pocket of wild magic, causing 1 random magic item on your person to lose 1 use (if multiple uses remain) OR lose 1 characteristic (e.g., keen, holy, etc) OR lose 1 level of stored magic (e.g., ring of storing or similar) OR release its magical contents (e.g., bag of holding or similar). IF you have zero magical items on your person, then your mouth is suddenly filled with worms, refilling each round for 1d4 rounds causing a -2 disgust (distraction) penalty on all rolls.
68. You suddenly have an incredibly strong inclination that your opponent is imaginary – some critter straight out the spellbook of some out-of-sight spellcaster – and you decide to attempt "disbelieve" right there on the spot.
69. You are so lucky! Your mad flailings have your opponent so confused that in their attempt to defend against you, they (roll 1d6):
a. (1) Drop their weapon
b. (2) Hit themselves (max damage)
c. (3) Hit themselves & knock themselves out cold
d. (4) Hit one of their own peers (if no other opponents, then their weapon goes sailing off at least 10 feet away from them)
e. (5) They are confused (NOT like the spell) and cannot take an action this round as they try to figure out WTH you just tried to do.
f. (6) They roll a percentile dice against this same chart!!!
70. You’ve uhhhh, un-gendered yourself. Whether by axe, sword, arrow, etc, or wild magic, however it happens, you are now a eunuch!
71. You hit yourself on the head, inexplicably causing you to lie about everything for 1 full day.
72. You suddenly find yourself with terrible heartburn, causing you to belch what appears to be tiny blue flames (“what was IN that stew?”, “I guess that ale really has gone bad.”, “last time I eat at THAT halfling’s ramshackle hovel!”), for 1d3 rounds, causing 1d4 HP damage to yourself each round. [Player may attempt to use this against his/her opponent, but must successfully Grapple, then successfully Bite.]
73. For whatever reason, your opponent reminds you of someone (roll 1d4):
a. (1) You tear up thinking of your dear mother (gods bless her soul) - take a -1 penalty on any action that requires you to see whatever you’re doing for 1 round.
b. (2) Your heart burns in fear and anger as images of your hard-nosed, penny-pinching, never-gave-you-a-thing-but-beatings father – momentary “rage” gives you a +1 to your Attack rolls (+2 if you Charge immediately) for 1 round.
c. (3) Memories of your wise maternal grandfather, including how he saved you once from those gang of young thugs (who knew Gramps was a Soldier of the Realm!) – gives you a +1 Wisdom-based gain on your next roll.
d. (4) Your stomach churns at the … ahem, “creative”… dishes your paternal grandmother used to make (this clearly explains your father’s anger at the world!) – take a -1 penalty on any motion or magic action for 1 round, but also take a +1 bonus on your next Will-based roll (you learned to swallow a lot of bad things in this world from dear old Grams)(one time, but can be used anytime that same “day”).
74. As your swing your blade, a choir plays an angellic song for the beauty of your swing that echoes throughout the battlefield (no matter how large). Unfortunately, this beautiful music distracts you, since this is not the critical hit chart. You spend 1d4-1 (minimum 1) rounds sobbing at the beautiful music, during which you are unable to act.
75. Your attack finds its mark! Unfortunately for you, you wind up striking a malignant tumor your enemy hadn't even realized they were suffering from, and completely excising it from their body, dealing 1d4 points of damage to them and permanently raising their Constitution score (which would have been higher but for the cancer) by 1d6 points.
76. You make yourself look like such a dolt that you come off as nothing so much as a common mook, and your enemy has a sort of personal epiphany regarding where they stand relative to you qualitatively, consequently gaining the benefits of a heroism spell as cast by a 5th-level Wizard.
77. Your fancy weaponwork fails to harm your oppenent, but the precise combination of motions and seemingly-incoherent gibbering turn out to be the somatic and verbal components to an otherwise-unknown spell, which causes an explosion of magical weapon-tips to burst from your weapon, dealing the weapon's base damage die and damage type, multiplied by your character level, to all within a 15-foot radius of you, with a Reflex save (DC 10+3d6) allowed for half damage.
78. Your attack breaks the time-space barrier. It deals normal damage to your target, 1d6 rounds later.
79. Your attack breaks the time-space barrier. It deals normal damage to whoever occupies the space you attacked, 1d6 rounds later.
Thanks to a disruption of local ley lines, you do max damage with your weapon. However, it is dealt in 1 point increments per round, for as many rounds as you dealt damage.(In effect, a 1-point DoT attack until you reach your max damage)
80. As you make your attack, you suddenly recall dirty joke told to you by a gnome prostitute. Your weapon gets thrown 5*1d6 feet away as you fall prone with a fit of hysteric laughter.
81. Your attack breaks the time-space barrier. Roll as if you had missed with a thrown splash weapon. You deal normal damage to what or whomever is within that square.
82. Your attack is interrupted by the ground beneath you shaking and jerking upward as one of the Mole People from the Center of the World suddenly opens one of their secret hatches into this room. You are moved 5 feet upwards and must make a DC 15 Reflex save or be knocked prone. "Oops, sorry, wrong door," says the Mole Person 1 round later before heading back down and returning your patch of floor to where it was.
83. You inadvertently pass gas while swinging wildly (so embarrassing). You fight at -2 while standing in your own cloud that persists for 1d6 rounds.
84. You inadvertently pass gas while swinging wildly (so embarrassing). You fight at -2 while standing in your own cloud that persists for 1d6 rounds.
This negative effect can be averted or redirected with a gust of wind spell
-MD
85. In mid swing you suddenly realize how heroic you look. You hold the pose for a round for your imaginary adoring fans. The enemy you were attacking get an attack of opportunity.
86. Your attack breaks the time-space barrier. It deals normal damage to a random person in the battle immediately (no distance limit), as your weapon (or magic) seemingly appears out of nowhere in that person's / creature's space (even though still in your hand).
84. You inadvertently pass gas while swinging wildly (so embarrassing). You fight at -2 while standing in your own cloud that persists for 1d6 rounds.
This negative effect can be averted or redirected with a gust of wind spell
-MD
Alternative:
84. You inadvertently pass gas while swinging wildly (so embarrassing). You fight at -2 while standing in your own cloud that persists for 1d6 rounds. Unfortunately, it also seems to cling to you if you move, too. This negative effect can be averted or redirected with a gust of wind spell, or by a full out run at max speed for at least 50 feet.| 1 person marked this as a favorite. |
We have 83 so far. Here's the list as it stands.
** spoiler omitted **...
LOL I've been copying these out to a separate Word doc (with a few personal mods here and there, of course). Thanks!
87. You should have known not to [fill in appropriate stupidness that recently happened in your campaign - laid down in flea-infested boarding house, drank that free drink from the freak barkeep who called himself a "mixologist", crawled through XYZ dank/dusty space, etc, etc]. You clearly are having a sudden allergy attack. Roll 1d4:
(1) Your eyes getting watery, blurring your vision for 1d6 rounds, creating a -1 to all martial and/or magical attacks, defense and Reflex saves.
(2) Your nose gets all stuffy, making it hard to breath for 1d6 rounds, creating a -1 to all martial and/or magical attacks, defense and any motions (e.g., running, jumping, climbing, swimming, acrobatics, magic-based finger-waggling, etc).
(3) Your hands getting all itchy, making for a serious distraction to concentration for 1d6 rounds, creating a -1 to all martial and/or magical attacks, defense and Will saves.
(4) Your whole body breaks out in pus-filled welts and hives, which break open with any motion and making it hard for you to move and hold your weapon for the next 1d6 rounds, creating a -1 to all martial and/or magical attacks, defense and Fortitude saves.
[BTW - for DM, player gains a temporary +1 bonus if Grappled due to the pus sliming his/her body ... and a -1 for them to Grapple an opponent.]
NOTE: Character now has a permanent allergy to whatever caused this allergy attack, and must note it on their Char Sheet. DM's discretion how to allow Char to manage this allergy going forward.
88. [Applicable to battles in or near large body of water] You start your attack, and .... O!M!G! what is that?!?!?!?! Off in the distance you see a truly gargantuan reptilian head and neck slide out of the water, look in several directions (all except where you are, thank the gods!), and then slide back into the water. (think Godzilla or Loch Ness)
* If not near large body of water, its head appears in the distance - over the trees, on the next mountain over, even poking out from the clouds as it flies by.
89. You hear maniacal tiny laughter near you, as if skipping / running / flying by, just before (roll 1d4):
a. (1) Your off-hand arm polymorphs into a tentacle for 1d6 rounds. Whatever was in that hand is now loosely “held” by your tentacle, and using that limb for anything at all is at -4. At end of time, the tentacle withers and starts to smell like really old fish, before it falls off, revealing the char’s arm inside unharmed.
b. (2) Your armor transforms into living crocodile scales for 1d6 minutes (which cannot be removed since its alive), >>replacing<< its AC with a +1 & no encumbrance. At end of time, the skin sloughs off their body like a snakeskin, after which it then transforms back into their prior armor laying there on the ground.
c. (3) You become incorporeal for 1d6 rounds, so while your opponent can no longer hit or hurt you, neither can you do anything to the material world. [DM – could play this out into NEXT round before the char or opponent realizes what happened, only after a weapon “slices” through ineffectual.
d. (4) Your vision hazes over for a brief moment, and when it clears every one in the battle is suddenly staring at you [DM – ask each other party member their favorite cartoon character – the funnier, the better; think Who Framed Roger Rabbit! And group then votes which one]. Your character (as well as all possessions) has been transformed into [fully describe the animated character, in soft Saturday morning cartoon colors], including the character’s voice. Your character is so confused that he/she suffers a -2 to everything for 1d6 rounds. [DM – if player actually hams it up and full-out roleplays his/her character as the cartoon character and voice, DM’s discretion to add slight confusion to opponents, as well, like a -1 on their attacks]
[If player tries to metagame against the effect, let them know it was an invisible, drunk fae who was just having some fun, with a ridiculously high level ... so they're welcome to try and attack it, but then the effect will likely be made permanent. They're call! ;-p ]
c. (3) You become incorporeal for 1d6 rounds, so while your opponent can no longer hit or hurt you, neither can you do anything to the material world. [DM – could play this out into NEXT round before the char or opponent realizes what happened, only after a weapon “slices” through ineffectual.
I have something similar to this. It doesn't work so great with the PC has a Ghost Touch weapon....
90. A blue box suddenly appears next to you. A man hops out, hands you a banana and says "Never go to a party without a banana." He then leaps back in and the blue box disappears. You now have a banana in your hand. If anything else was in your hand, you appear to have dropped it.
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91. Years of reckless potion-quaffing catch up with you in the form of a flashback. Roll 1d6:
1 - You suffer the effects of a crushing despair spell for 1d10 minutes.
2 - You enjoy the benefits of a good hope spell for 1d10 minutes.
3 - You are blinded for 2d4-1 minutes, and receive the Clouded Eyes Oracle Curse (1st-level effects only; if you already have Darkvision, you also gain a +1 alchemical bonus to Perception checks) for 1 hour thereafter.
4 - You are confused for 1d20 rounds.
5 - You suffer a negative level due to neurological damage.
6 - The DM reveals a noteworthy secret about the campaign to you.
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92. The battle is interrupted by the Great Modron March choosing now to barge its way through the area (causing, irony of ironies, chaos)! The party is separated from its foes by a wall of solid modron for 10d% rounds, and all corporeal beings in the area take 1% of the result as bludgeoning damage, with a DC 4d6 Reflex save permitted for half.
92. The battle is interrupted by the Great Modron March choosing now to barge its way through the area (causing, irony of ironies, chaos)! The party is separated from its foes by a wall of solid modron for 10d% rounds, and all corporeal beings in the area take 1% of the result as bludgeoning damage, with a DC 4d6 Reflex save permitted for half.
What game system is that? GURPS? I'm guessing GURPS because of the 4d6.
93. You get distracted by a parade of clowns.
92. The battle is interrupted by the Great Modron March choosing now to barge its way through the area (causing, irony of ironies, chaos)! The party is separated from its foes by a wall of solid modron for 10d% rounds, and all corporeal beings in the area take 1% of the result as bludgeoning damage, with a DC 4d6 Reflex save permitted for half.
I like this idea, but modified it to 10d20 rounds, and Reflex save of 16 for half.
93. You get distracted by a parade of clowns.Liranys -- this needs a resulting impact, like:
"You get distracted by a parade of clowns. You lose your action this round and your opponent gains an immediate Attack of Opportunity on you."
93. You get distracted by a parade of clowns.Liranys -- this needs a resulting impact, like:
"You get distracted by a parade of clowns. You lose your action this round and your opponent gains an immediate Attack of Opportunity on you."Not all of mine have resulting impacts other than You lose your action.
73. For whatever reason, your opponent reminds you of someone (roll 1d4):
a. (1) You tear up thinking of your dear mother (gods bless her soul) - take a -1 penalty on any action that requires you to see whatever you’re doing for 1 round.
b. (2) Your heart burns in fear and anger as images of your hard-nosed, penny-pinching, never-gave-you-a-thing-but-beatings father – momentary “rage” gives you a +1 to your Attack rolls (+2 if you Charge immediately) for 1 round.
c. (3) Memories of your wise maternal grandfather, including how he saved you once from those gang of young thugs (who knew Gramps was a Soldier of the Realm!) – gives you a +1 Wisdom-based gain on your next roll.
d. (4) Your stomach churns at the … ahem, “creative”… dishes your paternal grandmother used to make (this clearly explains your father’s anger at the world!) – take a -1 penalty on any motion or magic action for 1 round, but also take a +1 bonus on your next Will-based roll (you learned to swallow a lot of bad things in this world from dear old Grams)(one time, but can be used anytime that same “day”)
Correction to this one after trying it out:
73. For whatever reason, your opponent reminds you of someone (roll 1d4):a. (1) You tear up thinking of your dear mother (gods bless her soul) - take a -1 penalty on any action that requires you to see whatever you’re doing for 1 round.
b. (2) Your heart burns in fear and anger as images of your hard-nosed, penny-pinching, never-gave-you-a-thing-but-beatings father – momentary “rage” gives you a +1 to your Attack rolls (+2 if you Charge immediately) for 1 round, but decreases your defense and saves by -2 for 1d4+2 rounds.
c. (3) Memories of your wise maternal grandfather, including how he saved you once from those gang of young thugs (who knew Gramps was a Soldier of the Realm!) – gives you a +1 Wisdom-based gain on your next roll, but then causes you to be distracted as you reminisce about him for the following 1d4 rounds (-2 to all actions and saves).
d. (4) Your stomach churns at the … ahem, “creative”… dishes your paternal grandmother used to make (this clearly explains your father’s anger at the world!) – take a -1 penalty on any motion or magic action for 1 round, but also take a +1 bonus on your next Will-based roll (you learned to swallow a lot of bad things in this world from dear old Grams)(one time, but can be used anytime that same “day”)
Not all of mine have resulting impacts other than You lose your action.93. You get distracted by a parade of clowns.Liranys -- this needs a resulting impact, like:
"You get distracted by a parade of clowns. You lose your action this round and your opponent gains an immediate Attack of Opportunity on you."Good point.
94. [DM - note the sequence of events possible here - nothing happens immediately.]
(a) IF character "kills" any of the opponents in this battle, character searches body and finds a small cube. As char examines the box, the "dead" opponent breathes one last phrase - "Its always belonged to you" and then truly dies.
(b) IF character doesn't kill any opponents, then character finds small cube while looting the bodies or in their own possessions later that day/night [DM's discretion how/when], and as char examines box they hear a nearby whisper on the wind that sounds like, "Its always belonged to you."
[DM - now describe the box] You've found a small metal 6-sided cube (link1) (link2), roughly 2"x2"x2", that is black and either inlaid or etched with gold on each face. In the center of each face is a solid circle of gold ~1" across, surrounded by unique intricate filigree that are different on each face.
[DM - for future, if character is ever confused (the condition), they have a 25% of playing with the box .... and therefore an X% [DM's call] on opening the portal to Hell and confronting PinHead!!!! If character DOES open the portal to Hell, all beings within 100feet should also be sucked in, too!]
[DM - finally, note that the character can not get rid of this box by anything other than a wish or similar spell. It always seems to find its way back to them within 1d4 days. It might be inside a fish they catch, found on corpses along char's path, somehow attached to any equipment they buy next, etc. Eliminating this should be considered a curse requiring some kind of side adventure up to the DM.]
Or to put in in what really happens with a Fumble-crazy DM:
After ten rounds of combat your Epic Fighter has managed to both break and drop his weapon, not to mention critically wounding himself.
This is good as the Spellcasters dont need you anyway as they cant fumble, so you might as well be the Comedy Relief.
Next time, just bring a commoner with a rubber chicken, maxed out ranks in Perform Comedy and call him "Shemp".
Or to put in in what really happens with a Fumble-crazy DM:
After ten rounds of combat your Epic Fighter has managed to both break and drop his weapon, not to mention critically wounding himself.
This is good as the Spellcasters dont need you anyway as they cant fumble, so you might as well be the Comedy Relief.
Next time, just bring a commoner with a rubber chicken, maxed out ranks in Perform Comedy and call him "Shemp".
Spellcasters can "fumble" - they can roll a 1 just like anyone else.
Spellcasters can "fumble" - they can roll a 1 just like anyone else.Or to put in in what really happens with a Fumble-crazy DM:
After ten rounds of combat your Epic Fighter has managed to both break and drop his weapon, not to mention critically wounding himself.
This is good as the Spellcasters dont need you anyway as they cant fumble, so you might as well be the Comedy Relief.
Next time, just bring a commoner with a rubber chicken, maxed out ranks in Perform Comedy and call him "Shemp".
You dont even roll to start with on most of the best spells.
You dont even roll to start with on most of the best spells.Spellcasters can "fumble" - they can roll a 1 just like anyone else.Or to put in in what really happens with a Fumble-crazy DM:
After ten rounds of combat your Epic Fighter has managed to both break and drop his weapon, not to mention critically wounding himself.
This is good as the Spellcasters dont need you anyway as they cant fumble, so you might as well be the Comedy Relief.
Next time, just bring a commoner with a rubber chicken, maxed out ranks in Perform Comedy and call him "Shemp".
You do for any targeted attack spells. (other than AoE's that is)
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92. The battle is interrupted by the Great Modron March choosing now to barge its way through the area (causing, irony of ironies, chaos)! The party is separated from its foes by a wall of solid modron for 10d% rounds, and all corporeal beings in the area take 1% of the result as bludgeoning damage, with a DC 4d6 Reflex save permitted for half.What game system is that? GURPS? I'm guessing GURPS because of the 4d6.
You're guessing wrong. Don't tell me you've never heard of PLANESCAPE?!
95. Melee: Whoops! You accidentally throw your weapon at the closest ally instead. Make an attack roll as normal.
Ranged: How the!?!? Your weapon is shot 1d6 squares towards your target while the ammunition falls at your feet.
Magic: Wrong spell. Your target is affected by a random beneficial spell from your spell list instead, and that spells slot is used instead. If no beneficial spells are prepared, the spell slot is simply lost.
Natural: Muscle spasm. Unable to use this attack for 1d6 rounds.
96. One random item that you own and/or are using has finally been "triggered" as a Minor Cursed Item. [DM - use Cursed Item Rules to determine specific curse.] This item can not be easily discarded by the character. [DM's discretion, but some ideas to do so might include: to fairly trade or sell it to an NPC whom should have good bargaining and appraisal skills; or use it to bargain with an opponent (which means the opponent could gain the "curse" as a benefit!); etc]
You're guessing wrong. Don't tell me you've never heard of PLANESCAPE?!92. The battle is interrupted by the Great Modron March choosing now to barge its way through the area (causing, irony of ironies, chaos)! The party is separated from its foes by a wall of solid modron for 10d% rounds, and all corporeal beings in the area take 1% of the result as bludgeoning damage, with a DC 4d6 Reflex save permitted for half.What game system is that? GURPS? I'm guessing GURPS because of the 4d6.
Heard of it. Never played it so have no idea how the system works.