Deep in the woods of the River Kingdoms, under the paid protection of a local bandit gang, a small band of Kellids huddles around a sputtering campfire. A rotting mammoth corpse lies nearby, covered in flies.
The Kellids' leader, a hulking man with disturbingly long arms and legs, leans on his damaged cold iron greatsword. He looks up, noticing your approach, and hears your question with interest—but only in exchange for some of your food. These men are not the type to bargain with outsiders, but they are too weak now to take it from you by force.
When your question is finished, he laughs harshly. Demons? You do not know demons, friend. know demons. During a fight with a few wandering dretches, a lost glabrezu happened upon our party. It killed all but one of our mounts, along with three-quarters of my men, and chased us further south than we had ever been in our entire lives. I still know not why it gave up its pursuit.
He fixes you with a steely glare. Thus is the way of this 'Kingdom of Water', I suppose. We could not fight it, so it took what it wanted and left. You speak of pain? War? Loss? We have been separated from our homeland. We are trapped in this land. We have no friends, no food. Soon, the bandits will renege on their agreement, take our gold, and cut our throats.
Unless... He pauses. Unless you can take a message for us. Send it with magic, to our families back home. Tell them that we live. That we need their help.
He gives a crooked-toothed smile. That we need new mammoths.
Welcome! This is the company thread for Mammoth Riders, and only Mammoth Riders, once the prestige class featline is added to the game. Here is the simple agreement: When it is, we will all make mammoth riders. Then we will trample things with them.
Please sign on the dotted line.
I, _ _ _ _ _ _ _,
Promise to uphold the honor of the Realm of the Mammoth Lords. When the featline is added, as it will be, I will make a character and join the Mammoth Lord chartered company. I will show those who treat us with respect the legendary goodwill of my people, and I will show those who don't how much it hurts to have your foot stepped on by a mammoth. I also promise not to even raise the possibility that the option will never be added to the game at all.
People who doubt the eventual addition of the Mammoth Rider featline need not apply.
I have no idea what you're talking about. Please leave my thread now. Your negative energy is clouding my chakras, or something.
Goblin Squad Member
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I... sure, why not.
I, Morbis,
Promise to uphold the honor of the Realm of the Mammoth Lords. When the featline is added, as it will be, I will make a character and join the Mammoth Lord chartered company. I will show those who treat us with respect the legendary goodwill of my people, and I will show those who don't how much it hurts to have your foot stepped on by a mammoth. I also promise not to even raise the possibility that the option will never be added to the game at all.
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Laugh it up. You won't be laughing when I'm on a mammoth and you're stuck riding an ostrich.
A non-affiliated mammoth rider? Outrageous!
Unacceptable. Your posts are leading me to think you are treating this as some sort of joke, Papaver. You are banned from the mammoth club.
Everybody who is not dead serious about mammoths, please leave. This is a serious Chartered Company. Anybody who continues to tell jokes on my serious company thread will be banned from the company and, when I'm playing a mammoth, stepped on.
Even my detractors will admit that I am harsh, but fair.
Yes. I am glad to see you have acquired new respect for the Mammoth Riders.
Also, if you're marching a mammoth (and maybe some tigers and sloths) through a pass, make sure not to do it twice. It might go okay the first time, but after that, the attempts will be increasingly disastrous.
