Okay, so I have decided to rebuild one of my recurring characters from system to system. He has had several incarnations, some drastically different from the others; but generally always similar enough to recognize as the same guy at the core (just with various different histories/backgrounds/training/etc. based on the system at hand)
I am spoiler blocking in one of my preferred descriptions of him physically, it is a bit long but not too much; just don't want to overcrowd the post. Then I will spoiler block a few of his more memorable incarnations. And I am asking you, given his general look and personality, what would you build him to be? Really, I could go with most any class or build, and play him as the same guy, though he has a tendency to be a meatshield of some kind...
Physical Description + Background:
Hephalumph, also known as Heff or Lumpy, and sometimes called ‘Tiny’ (depending on who’s talking to or about him)… is a massive mound of man. He stands between 6'10 and 7'6, depending on his posture and how well he slept that night. His weight - well one can only guess, but he is quite definitely as thick and as wide as any three average men...
His parentage is unknown, it would seem to contain elements of Orc, Human, Troll, and Giant all blended together, plus a few other surprises; no one is sure what all is in his genetic cocktail. What is known is that he was raised by an ettin, serving him as both mother and father - she was a female ettin, but the second head (or to listen to her, the ‘first head) was very mannish and very much a father figure to Heff. She discovered him bawling and mewling outside the cliff-side cave she dwelled in, and she took pity on the (to her) tiny creature – which had been born the size of a small elephant.
Given that he grew at half the rate of an ettin, and had only a single head, his mommies told him he was a half-ettin, and that is what he will tell anyone who asks; although one learned in recognizing members of various species/races will know this is not true.
While not the brightest person there is, Hephalumph is much more ignorant than stupid; lacking education and not in intelligence. His main character flaw is the combination of his appearance with his personality. As to his appearance; besides his mixed bag of genetic origin, being raised by a creature who expected a child to be even larger than his naturally gargantuan proportions resulted in childhood obesity…which he has happily brought with him into his adult life. His skin is patchy, parts of it almost-Human pink and tan, parts of it gray and gravelly, and patches of leathery hide and fur sprouting in random (and sometimes just unusual or odd) locations all blend together with his distaste for hygiene (instilled into him by his ‘mothers’) to yield a very unapproachable mountain of corpulence.
His rolls of flesh (and it’s mulatto appearance) easily conceal the majority of the little clothing, armor, and gear he chooses to adorn himself with – to any who don’t know him Hephalumph appears to store all of his worldly possessions within the gelatinous folds of himself. And one can never be quite certain if the leather or fur-like patch revealed as he stretches or moves is some bit of clothing or armor, or if it is in fact just a random bit of his skin which has been discolored or is unusually hairy.
He is rarely seen without a massive femur of some kind (mutton, cow, ox, brontosaurus…?) in hand, preferably with some meat left upon it for when he begins to hunger; a little something to tide him over till his next meal. He is very aware of the distaste the common man has for him, but ever since his ‘mothers’ were slain by a small dragon she was hunting, he has tried his best to make a life in the civilized world. Those few who treat him as a fellow man and not a creature find him to be extremely loyal and protective of their health.
His speaking voice is guttural, gravelly, and hard to understand; perhaps due to the fact that his mouth is rarely empty. However, he sings with a basso tremolo that could make a Baator demon shed tears (he believes from its pure beauty – others have questioned that but won't deny the tears are being shed...) He loves to ramble on about wild stories from his youth and things which he has witnessed since entering civilization, and always seems to be able to recall a story one of his mothers told him which he can relate to wherever he is or whatever he is doing...
Previous Builds:
In his very first incarnation, his ettin 'mothers' did not yet exist; he was simply a corpulent human of dubious parentage. He was a 2nd edition (...might've been 1st, not sure exactly which we were playing back then...) Cleric of Sharess in the Forgotten Realms, promoting excess in all of its forms; with the ultimate goal of creating a small demiplane seed which was devoted to vice and hedonism. He then built a wagon with a teleportation 'door' which led there, and traveled the world sending people to "worship Sharess", be it through gambling, feasting, drinking, whoring, or otherwise overindulging oneself. It didn't hurt that he charged a fee for the transport, and made a small sum off of everything that happened in his 'temple'...
Through in game stuff, the half ettin became a running gag, and so his next incarnation was (while still a human) a "half-ettin". He was so genetically bungled up that human was the best race to select, but for roleplay reasons, his 'mommies' had seen he only had one head, and was roughly half their size, so told him he was a half-ettin instead of revealing he had been adopted. That incarnation was a straight fighter, again in 2nd edition, and was more of the typical two handed meatshield. This is when/where the massive femur (his weapon of choice, a great club) originated.
The next incarnation was in 3.0, where he was a multiclass bard/cleric (and from whence the above description comes in; thus the mention of his singing voice; usually it might mention something about him rarely talking because he doesn't like to talk when he is eating, and he is always eating). Again, selecting sharess as a deity, and being more or less a hedonist/sensate type of mindset. He did a lot of party buffing, and healing, and was an obvious target the enemies favored - but not so much fighting as just absorbing damage.
He was then played in an Exalted campaign, but it didn't last long enough to be very memorable, and as it was my only experience with Exalted, I don't remember the mechanics of the build - only that he was a big mound of man who played a bit like Juggernaut or The Blob.
He was a half hutt in a Star Wars campaign (not actually, just a running joke - just as he is a half-ettin in D&D style games), and was actually a force adept.
Back to 3.5, he was a reach fighter, using a great club and a combination of feats, prestige classes, etc. to actually be large a fair amount of time each day.
In 4th edition, he was a Warden, and a Battlemind; both multi-marking defenders with a great club, and to some degree, gaining reach. There was another 4e build (using essentials rules, or 4.5e) in which he used a spike chain as his main weapon, and was large most of the time; it had ridiculous reach (like 40' I think), and was in general ridiculous.
And now I am playing Pathfinder. There were other builds over the decades; but he has always focused on either spreading hedonism, or protecting his allies and just being a glutton.
He is usually a human, I could possibly fit it as half-orc, and would be open to other races that fit the theme. He was a Goliath in 4e once, and an actual Half-Ettin in a 2nd edition game that was more or less a one-shot, so...
He typically has either an abysmal INT or WIS with the other being above average; his CHA has fluctuated from as low as 3 to staggeringly high (17 or 18, I think; purely force of personality there, it was not reflective of his looks). I tend to put above average CON and STR, with average (8-12) DEX. It is all fairly fluid; depending on his build - it is not too hard to adjust play style and roleplay to keep the same feel.
So what would you do? How would you bring this character to life, mechanically speaking? What would you aim for him to do/be, and how would you get him there?
My initial thought was to look to recreate the Large sized reach fighter, as he has been that more than anything else. But looking through PFS legal stuff, within the 12 level character lifetime, I can't see anything that is both effective and kicks in early enough to satisfy me (by 4th or 5th or so is about as long as I want to wait to actually FEEL like I am playing the build I am aiming for, even if it takes all the way to 12th to get every last piece in place). Outside of drinking a ton of potions, I don't see being large as very possible. Of course, he does eat and drink a lot, so...
(I have already inquired in the PFS boards, and outside of age, there are no rules requiring one to fit within the standard deviations for a race's physical description, so I am good there. Despite his girth and height, he is just a very big Medium creature, not Large by default. I do not expect any mechanical adjustments for his unusual height and weight in general - though if a particular DM in PFS hands out penalties or bonuses for his size, I will accept them at that table and for that session.)
Well, there is a Lust domain, but sadly, no Gluttony.
All 7 sins are covered under the thasilonian sin magic stuff (though typically you only get to pick one)
(For some reason, your physical description kept bring the Bloatmage to mind.)
Hmm... how about seperatist cleric of Arshea (built as a battle cleric), taking Lust from Arshea's portfolio, and the Growth subdomain as your seperatist one. (more to love!)
Well, he has never been a mage yet, but the bloatmage could fit very well with his concept. Haven't looked at that before!
Also, if I do go cleric, Arshea seems a semi close fit. Sharess was more about hedonism as a whole, than lust specifically, but lust was a portion of her portfolio. Lust and Growth would be good choices.
I wish there was a way in PFS to play an alchemist without bombs. I see just about everything in that class as great for him, except bombs. And not only do you have to have bombs, you are forced to take the extra bombs feat in place of brew potion.
The tumor familiar could be his partially formed second head, as a half ettin.
He could eat and drink his spells as part of his constant gorging.
He could enlarge himself fairly regularly.
The only way I would ever have him throw a bomb probably wouldn't fly at most PFS tables (think monkey style missiles)...
I'm going to throw something out of left field a bit...
Savage Skald Bard, possibly mixed with Barbarian or Fighter. Mix in a little Catch Off-Guard and use that mutton as a weapon! As for race, Half-Orc would make a lot of sense here, and to showcase his muddled line you could throw in an Eldritch Heritage feat or two.
I was planning on having a bone great club for his mutton... it doesn't need to actually have meat on it for me to act as if it does. And while it is fragile, if it does break, it was only half price in the first place...
I had not thought of eldritch heritage; that is a good idea.
I am thinking now, that an alchemist/barbarian with an eldritch heritage may be the best choice.
Still open to ideas, though - would love to get some more input!
I am pretty sure, that there are PFS legal alchemist archetypes that doen't use bombs (vivisectionsit?). That might work. Ragechemist PrC might work too.
For his heritage, the foulspawn heritage tiefling (+Con/Wis, -Int) would do nicely. The picture is certainly repulsive enough, and there is actually the Repulsive trait, which gives you a bonus on overrun and reposition manoeuvres because no one wants to touch you.
A cleric of Lamashtu would have access to the Demon subdomain, which gives a great enhancement bonus to all attacks for 3+wisdom rounds per day. Cleric also fits with low intelligence and high wisdom, as well as allowing a lot of freedom and flexibility in the varied game that is PFS.
Rovagug is another option there, but it's a lot harder to make work due to the relationship clerics of the Destroyer have with Sarenrae's clergy.
