Seelah. That girl knows how to bearhug!

And the worst?

That'd not be very nice of me to reveal, would it?

And hah, I bet you all expected me to say Alain, but I have it on good authority (Donahan) that he practises a lot (on Donahan) and has gotten quite good (at hugging horses).

Actually expected Ezren.. Doesn't seem like much the huggy type...

Are you often used as bait?

I'm happy to say no on that one. We figured out that monsters and evil types tend to go for the lightly dressed women first, so that job usually goes to Seoni or Feiya. (Alahandra would work too, but there's the whole 'not being able to see when to stop being bait and get away problem' for her.)

HAHAHA am found tiny not-gobbo!

Make song and dance!

tosses gold piece at Lem while hopping from left foot to right

Shelyn's shiny tresses! If he weren't so cute doing that I'd almost be worried.

You worship Shelyn?

Yup. Like all musicians I took up the instrument to get girls (except for the ones who started to play to get boys).

Brox tired of talk

Brox pay tree times for song and dance

holds up one paw, clawed fingers splayed

Brox pay dis meny times

not get song and dance

Tink mebbe singy not-gobbo more liek wind up toy

Tink mebbe needs key to wind up for song, dance

Tink mebbe use grot-shiv, stick in back, wind too tree for times

Mebbe den get song, dance am pay for...

looks at Lem meaningfully with one paw behind his back

Or, you could actually request a song. "Sing and Dance"... Britney Spears can sing and dance. Justin Beiber can sing and dance. Granted, the likely hood of people disagreeing with me is higher than the alternative...

Ask for the name of the song. maybe then he'll actually do something.

Or, you could actually request a song. "Sing and Dance"... Britney Spears can sing and dance. Justin Beiber can sing and dance. Granted, the likely hood of people disagreeing with me is higher than the alternative...

Ask for the name of the song. maybe then he'll actually do something.

Brox allows you to leave with a dismissive hand-wave. He does not even glance in your direction

I high-five the dismissive hand-wave

I high-five the dismissive hand-wave

Why yoo fondle back of Brox hand? Brox not that kind of half-orc...

It was a MAN SMACK. Lem, help me out here, brudda!

Somehow I think Lem's staying out of this one.

I splay backwards facing claws. Come over here, Lem, and tell me all about it... I'll protect you...

Somehow I think Lem's staying out of this one.

I splay backwards facing claws. Come over here, Lem, and tell me all about it... I'll protect you...

Am think kitty with green fungus on face make nice pet, better snack.

Am see rat-thing run down alley before.

Kitty go get that!

Right... I think this calls for a particular tune...

Now be nice, or I'll start on the Countersong

I pull a magic kukri.

I say, these orcs can be so uncivilized. Telling their betters to go chase rats. Ugh.

I don't chase rats, I hire adventurers to chase rats. Then I chase the adventurers.

Lem what's the best non-humanoid musician you've had the pleasure to play with?

*Skips in attracted by teh music. *(^_^)

Hello Lem. I was wondering if you know of any really good tales? I'm a bit of a story teller and traveling the lands around the Inner Sea, unfortunately *Shinkt* I ran into some gobbos *Crancht* raiding a festival *Snicker-snak* and I was hoping to learn a few tales besides the ones I know from the Lands of the Linnorm Kings.

Oh and would you like some help? I think I see trouble heading your way.

How many of the female iconics have done some bed hopping for favors in return and getting past irritating obstacles? ;)

I pull a magic kukri.

I say, these orcs can be so uncivilized. Telling their betters to go chase rats. Ugh.

I don't chase rats, I hire adventurers to chase rats. Then I chase the adventurers.

HAHA! Fungus-face kitty thing think it people!

pull ball of yarn from pouch

Here kitty kitty! Play wit dat!

Looks back at Lem

Finally got song/dance! YAY YAY!

Already paid twice over. Thank for song.

As a worshiper of Shelyn, do you know any good plastic surgens?

I pull a magic kukri.

I say, these orcs can be so uncivilized. Telling their betters to go chase rats. Ugh.

I don't chase rats, I hire adventurers to chase rats. Then I chase the adventurers.

HAHA!! YAY! Fungus face kitty bring backskracher!

Funny too. Fungus face kitty tink Brox uncivilianized. Fungus face kitty to focused on looks. Not see Brox upholding fundamental economic truth found in civilianized lands. Payments rendered for services means services must be rendered.

Brox not so foolish as fungus face kitty tink.

Aww, look, the orc knows some tricks.

I'd pat it on the head but I think I might get fleas...

Wait... where'd the halfling go?

Lem what's the best non-humanoid musician you've had the pleasure to play with?

A copper dragon I met at Kopparberget. He did some amazing throat-warbling in time to the sound of the miners picking away at the copper-lodes.

How many of the female iconics have done some bed hopping for favors in return and getting past irritating obstacles? ;)

You'd have to ask them. But I know me and Lini did some neat sliding-beneath-beds to get through the bedroom in a Hellknight barracks-building once. Merisiel jumped over them, if that counts.

As a worshiper of Shelyn, do you know any good plastic surgens?

Nope. I know a good barber in Augustana who does bone-sawing too, if that helps.

Aww, look, the orc knows some tricks.

I'd pat it on the head but I think I might get fleas...

Wait... where'd the halfling go?

Had to solve a murder up in Varisia. Turns out it wasn't the butler.

Murder seems all too common in our lovely homeland.

Hello Lem. I was wondering if you know of any really good tales? I'm a bit of a story teller and traveling the lands around the Inner Sea, unfortunately *Shinkt* I ran into some gobbos *Crancht* raiding a festival *Snicker-snak* and I was hoping to learn a few tales besides the ones I know from the Lands of the Linnorm Kings.

Oh and would you like some help? I think I see trouble heading your way.

I know a few. Have you heard the one about that family in Vudra who has a big war with some asura that's usurped their kingdom and they get help from a bunch of gods and say some pretty smart stuff while they're doing it? Mind you, it takes about a week to recite the darn thing.

Lem, I asked this of Merisiel of the Sneak-Sneak-Stab-Stab, but what is your favourite magical item, what is your dream magical item, and what piece of mundane equipment has proven to be uncannily useful in your adventures?

Favourite magical item: probably a Golden Dragon Kite.

Dream Magic Item: Something that'd erase all proofs of ownership of slaves. Or one that'd remove all devil influence from Cheliax.

Most useful mundane item: A bag full of nails. I've learned a lot of nasty words in many languages by spreading the nails out in strategic places outside our campsites when we're in unfriendly parts. And Harsk's tea kettle, obviously. You can never have too much tea.

I imagine an infuriated Harsk running around the camp-site bludgeoning the unfortunates with his now dented kettle helps as well.

Lem, have you considered getting your Llama a hat?

Lem, have you considered getting your Llama a hat?

Pretty sure he'd just eat it. And then spit on Alain.

Cori Marie wrote:

Lem, have you considered getting your Llama a hat?

Pretty sure he'd just eat it. And then spit on Alain.

It doesn't need the hat to do that. Disgusting animal.

Try well-trained. *snickers*

But llamas with hats are awesome. Just ask Carl.

Still no Lem in the comics... what do you have to say to that?

My people are talking to their people.

If that don't work I think Mr Zub will have to be paid a visit...

Druegar... what do they smell like?

Lem, how does it feel to know you share a name with a type of Korvosan hummus? Have you ever tried said hummus?

Has there ever been a time you regretted drinking that potion of invisibility?

Druegar... what do they smell like?

Mildew, armour grease, sweat, and shoe-polish. I think the shoe-polish is for their bald spots.

Lem, how does it feel to know you share a name with a type of Korvosan hummus? Have you ever tried said hummus?

Hummus. Hummus. Hummus, hummus, hummus.

That's a fun word to say, isn't it?

Has there ever been a time you regretted drinking that potion of invisibility?

Only that time I dealt the final blow to a black dragon and Valeros got all the credit.