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Lantern Bearer

Artemis Moonstar's page

Pathfinder Society Member. 914 posts. No reviews. No lists. No wishlists.

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captain yesterday wrote:

on top of a tower, an Android Conjurer (or summoner if you prefer) sits on a throne with two Yeth Hounds beside her, oh yes and a really bad hair style. the first thing She asks "Are You a God?" any thing other then a "yes" results in chain lightning to the entire party:)

also i will give someone money if they'll run carrion crown with this being the end:)

Bonus points if she's a summoner with her Eidolon sized Huge and made of marshmallow.

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This one can be slotted into anything that requires the party to invade a crypt. Specifically, when they don't know which crypt and need to invade all of them.

One crypt leads them down into a waterway, quite possibly the sewers, with bones and skeletons littering the walls. They hear faint bard singing with a (galt/'not france') accent. On the next round, they're ambushed by thugs in skeleton suit disguises that were blending in.

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A long table with multiple tea sets strewn across it. The bones of a human, a bunny, and a mouse are sitting in chairs at the end, all impeccably dressed, and the human's got a really BIG top hat.

Scratched into the table, are the words. "Still waiting for you"

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Just recalled one I've seen.

"A witch turned me into a newt... I got better! Now I want revenge!" and that was that.

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Liranys wrote:
I'm Hiding In Your Closet wrote:
They do show up in the Pathfinder Bestiary 3, you know - they're pretty good as summoned monsters, if your DM will permit it.
Hmm, I will keep that in mind. I think my cleric has a summon monster spell in one of her domains... lol

Tbey're also kind of cute, in a weird, aberrant horror from beyond the stars kind of way.

For the thread: An Elohim looking around the dungeon and commenting to himself. "I've done good. Who'd have thought it'd grow from a single floor to an entire planet?..." Before disappearing.

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TOZ wrote:
Unusual? This happens every other week.

Every other week? Aint that a bit generous?

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GM Says: "Yeah, Illusions are totally cool and useful in my games."
GM Meant: "Illusion spells are useful for NPCs and monsters, and you guys can't do anything about it. For you however, they'll be auto-saved against once one person figures it out. Forever."

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The Indescribable wrote:
David Neilson wrote:
Well that would be a little disturbing. "Hey who is that? No idea, he just started following us around and killing people when we got into a fight."

The way you said that I couldn't help but think of a particular character I read about on these forums. A serial killer who adopted a group of adventurers and fought alongside them because he didn't want his pets to get hurt.

EDIT: He also stole and wore peoples faces.

Minus the stealing of faces, this is so yoinked. I'll be doing it as a catfolk... Because as cat-lovers know... You don't adopt the cat. The cat adopts you.

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Deirdre "Dee" Sarini wrote:

I don't know how I forgot Ca$h Daddy. That was his name and yes, you have to spell it with the dollar sign. A girl from the office I worked in started up a D&D game (one of the worst I've ever played in). We invited this guy who another guy knew and he made a Barbarian named Ca$h Daddy.

When asked by the DM to write a back story he literally wrote that he was just out for hos.

He spent the opening sequence of the game trying to find cocaine, offering cocaine to some other characters and then trying to seduce a king's daughter the moment he met her.

Our terrible DM allowed all of this and even slipped a DMNPC into the story who she presented as another traveling adventurer who we found to be having sex on top of an altar when we met her.

After three sessions Ca$h Daddy quit. But not before he managed to kill a whore and burn a bar down. It was kind of sad because the game was boring without him and the DM couldn't run anything. She couldn't run combat and kept shoehorning in stuff about furries and otherkin. Then she would do anything that she could to make the game go in the direction that she wanted. I think I made it six sessions (which is five longer than I should have) before I quit.

I think you may have won the thread in terms of sheer horror.

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I'm sensing an Austin Powers ref from Hama

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Te'Shen wrote:
Quark Blast wrote:
DungeonmasterCal wrote:
I had a player name his swashbuckler Monterrey Jack and his sidekick Sharp Cheddar.
Hey, we're starting Skull and Shackles and this idea just got yoinked! At least until the GM puts the smack down on this type of badwrongfun.

Monterrey Jack must be a ratfolk. No exceptions. ;)

Don't forget the Ghoran Bard that goes by the name "Gouda Thimes". Alternate build: Alchemist. Alternate build 2: Ghoran Cleric named "Gouda Gourd"

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Auren "Rin" Cloudstrider wrote:

1. people who pick on mine and my boyfriend's lolitafied fey for being "too Disney"when we were clearly going for a darker throwback

2. people who claim to be "Otaku" but rather than building one of the many interesting and unique anime characters that could prove the benefit of having an Otaku, they build Generic Tsundere Catgirl Ninja #5745

3. DMs who deliberately limit a campaign's scope to be as "Realistic" as "possible" by restricting everything to the core rulebook of a given setting and placing arbritrary restrictions on things, like "no sneak attacks with Falchions"

4. People who hate "Weeaboos" because every "Weeaboo" they played with played a Generic Tsundere Catgirl Ninja

5. people who get on my boyfriend and i for playing cute small framed females with a taste for fancy period garb and call us "Paedophiles" due to misinterpreting our limited descriptive vocabulary because we suck at simple explanations

6. people who force generic steriotypes on their fellow players, and fail to realize that character's specific circumstances, "if you're a nymph, why don't you live in the woods and why aren't you seducing everything you see?" the answer on my whiteboard "because i was raised by humans in a large city detached from from the forest and am extremely detached from my fey roots"

You know, you two would get along with me and my fiance. Too bad you don't live in northern California :(. We'd love to game with you two.


Tsundere = A character that acts cold and distant to start with, but is sweet and caring after they 'warm up' to the person. Thanks to TOZ, I believe, I can never un-know that dwarves are tsundere... No amount of brain scrubbing!

Yandere = A character that is sweet and compassionate with their love-interest one moment, then violent and (varying levels of) crazed the next. A good example would be that psycho girlfriend that seemed super sweet with that home-baked cake, then starts destroying your apartment with a baseball bat.

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Hey! I built a Tinker Bell once!

It was a mute bugbear alchemist with a penchant for tinkering with things (think Gnomes, but on crack), who communicated with bells he attatched to his belt in a psuedo morse-code.

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Spook205 wrote:

For all the SCP horror and scary room dressing, there is something everyone is overlooking that monumentally messes with a PC's mindset.

An empty room.

A large, empty room, that serves no discernible purpose.

I didn't believe this until I had an area listed as 'disused storage space' on a map once, it was relatively large (essentially a small empty warehouse for an abandoned facility). The only content was some random nonsense I rolled up, like a book, a hammer and whetstone in like an 80X80 room.

I figured they'd open the door crack wise over the contents and head on, but no..

Thus began the forensic investigation. They hunted for secret doors. Detected magic. Sought around. Laid down flour. They refused to sleep in the room later for fear of something in it coming to get them.

They sealed the door to it.

They left the whetstone, hammer and book (it was a how-to on building stairs) behind.

I freaking love doing this to players.

Of course, once they get complacent with the empty rooms... I'll shake it up and have some nightmare creature from beyond the stars make an appearance.

Or sometimes I'll just tell them to roll perception checks while I act like I'm skimming over my notes, looking for the DC. I'll roll behind the screen while they're walking into the room.

It's particularly fun to make the doors trapped. Or have some random trap smack dab in the middle of the room for no reason. Literally, let the rogue find it, and let it have a totally crappy DC that they can fail like, only on a 1 or something.

Go grab a drink and a slice of pizza while they're trying to figure out the significance of the room.

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I'll have to look at it later. Lack of head-phones, and my fiance's asleep atm and I'd rather not wake her up (very, very bad idea). I CAN comment on IHIYC though.

IHIYC wrote:
- In keeping with the guy's thesis that the problem is caused by a pitfall in established thinking, I'll suggest what I see as a big problem: Inappropriately-allotted faith in a longstanding Western belief that reductionism leads to ultimate truth. There's a good solid place for reductionism (I utilize it in my reasoning often enough), but it certainly isn't in fantasy gaming, which wouldn't exist at all were it not for expansivist thinking (it started with games as simple as chess, then got wildly more baroque from there). Another serious problem I see is the ascent of aggressive anti-intellectualism in the public sphere (at least in the English-Internet-dominating USA) over the past 30 years, and the downright Evil "creative play is kid's stuff, grown-ups impress people with how efficient they are at generating large numbers in some form" prejudice.

Welcome to 'murica and it's increasingly idiotic school system that was designed in the 1940s by a guy who went to Poland to study their school system, which was designed to produce docile factory workers. Add in the idiocy behind "No child left behind", that while noble an idea, produces the exact opposite in practice, and you've got the perfect system for producing shallow, docile sheep stuck in a state of consumer frenzy.

But this is something I've been raging about since I noticed it after my parents yoinked me out of the established school system and shoved me into a charter school. May have missed out on the "high school experience", but it was probably one of the best things they could've done for me. Regardless, dead horse that I've pounded into a pulp long ago, I'll rave no more.

Cut funding to schools with low test scores... wtf...

edit: I'm going off memory here. Might have been another country... Prussia perhaps. Somewhere in that area that started with a "p". Point still stands.

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Hmm... One my fiance just mentioned that I feel the need to parrot, as it irks me so subtly I hadn't really noticed.

Ones who complain about character concept that is unoriginal or unimaginative, yet everything they ever come up with has already been done before. Everything. Has. Already. Been. Done. As they say, 'nihil novi sub sole'.

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Skeld wrote:

I dislike anyone under the age of 60 that comes to gaming wearing a fedora.


What, you got a problem with my sense of style? Pinstripe suit + fedora = far better than any sort of newfangled "fashion" these kids are wearing today.... Pants down around your knees... WTF...

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1) People who auto-hate anything "weeabo". (Just because I like anime does not give you the right to $#!7 kittens when I show up at your table)

2) Those that take this game too seriously. (This is not an acting theater, it's a game, #$*^ing relax already!)

3) Min-maxing, powergaming, metagaming, "You do 2 points less DPR than I do? YOU FAIL AT LIFE! GO KILL YOURSELF!" pricks. (See #2).

4) Those that have a conniption at one off-color (perverted) joke and auto-lump all perverts in with the completely socially inept mouth-breathers (the ones that stare at your GF and shout "T#$! OR GTFO!" on Halo?).

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I care not for prayer, or kids in general... Regardless!

I wish thee luck! May Tymora smile upon you and your spawn!

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Tacticslion wrote:
Victor Von...?

Grenadier Gnome, making the most flashy bombs he can... Victor Von Boom.

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I'm Hiding In Your Closet wrote:
A theater that puts on a new play every day, but every one of them is poorly-acted and terribly-written, with the cheapest costumes, sets, and props imaginable - it's almost like whoever set this up went out of their way to establish the worst theater ever. There are all of three individuals in attendance, sitting in the front row: A plain-looking human male, a talking raven, and a homunculus. If the PCs decide to watch the show for a bit, they will discover that while the plays are not entertaining, the endless heckling coming from those three are.

Repeat after me. "It's just a show, I should really just relax."

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... ROFLMAO!... Not cool dude.

This is as bad a taste as Ebola-Chan.

One of those things that's like.... "Ha! HAHAH! AHAHAHAHAHA! Not cool dude!"

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Me thinks... I'll be avoiding that site in general. I find my tolerance for things much less these days the more often I find myself stressed. Rather depression, as I used to laugh at such things as 'two girls and a cup'....

Back on topic....

Within a single room of the dungeon, put a shiny red ball on a pedestal. The room is thirty by thirty feet, completely dark, save for one beam of light illuminating this ball. When the party enters, the room is sealed off with a collapsed ceiling, and the room lights up, revealing skeletons and bones just littering the floor, mostly congregated around the ball.

The ball starts to get glowing, spidery runes appearing on it. They appear slowly, one line at a time. The walls are stone arches, with marble walls, and covered with scorch marks, and a few body outlines.

The ball was put there by the wizard who has a secret door within one of the arches. The bones are real, the scorch marks are real, and the runes appearing on the ball are real. He simply didn't want to be bothered.

The party has 1d20 rounds to figure out how to get out. Otherwise, the runes on the ball finish inscribing themselves. When finished, all creatures in the room are subjected to a Dominate Monster spell, DC whatever you want it to be, to stare at the ball. Those that fail are Geas'd into following the shiny red ball wherever it goes, with a constant (whatever the spell was that lets you pinpoint the direction of a creature) centered on the ball. The pedestal then collapses, revealing a 5 foot hole in the floor, of which the ball falls.

It's a drop to the lower level. The ball then starts bouncing and rolling a straightforward route out of the dungeon, and then off in some random direction away from the dungeon.

Or, in other words.... Make them chase the shiny red ball... Literally.

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The Indescribable wrote:
Freehold DM wrote:


Thirded! Unless ninja'd

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KenderKin wrote:
Aranna wrote:
The Indescribable wrote:
considering I've seen the horror of the great sword rogue, I think I've got you beat.

Wasn't one of the R&D guys from 4e D&D playing a greatsword rogue? Of course he admitted he was cheating when he did it... apparently a greatsword is illegal for sneak attacks in 4e.

It's just random people trying to apply some "logic" or "reality" to the game mechanics. Often based on the newest name.....

Oh it's called back stab so only.piercing or slashing weapons....not blunt...

It's precision damage so "must" be a precise weapon, so not big/clunky....

There's got to be a rule against that!.....aka your doing it wrong (having badwrongfun).

Verisimilitude gets shattered, apparently. Not sure why people's suspension of disbelief can't be suspended for precision-based attacks with huge weapons.

Aerith certainly didn't see Sephiroth coming, after all....

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Speaking of Mullets...

HERO system, years ago.... The hero's name was Mr. Mullet! His entire back story was that he styled his hair with radioactive hair gel , so now his mullet is super powered. Not him, his mullet.

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Let's not forget this age-old argument... "If we allow gay marriage, we'll open the door to pedophilia, beastiality, incest, necrophilia," etc, etc.

Honestly, I'm happy I live in California. I can only endure stupid for so long before my well-suppressed psychoses start to trigger, and I really, really want to just crack their skull open and examine their brains for tumors, or anything else that might explain why their mental capacity seems to be at the level of a freaking gold fish.

*eye twitch* The stupid.... It hurts us precious.

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Aranna wrote:
Artemis Moonstar wrote:
Aranna wrote:
Not sure that works at all for an undead dragon, since they can't get drunk.

I direct thee to the drunk skeleton from Last Unicorn.

From which I drew the inspiration.

I have never heard of the Last Unicorn? Is it that 1982 film I looked up on Rotten Tomatoes site? If so I was 4 when it aired... so I missed it.

I suppose anything can happen in fiction, but how do you reconcile that with a game's rules where it can't?

1: It's a really good movie, you should check it out.

2: What Kthulhu said, when in terms of narrative and plot. Example, rules don't spell out what kind of penalties and such for rogues wanting to use a chandelier to leap from one balcony to the next, but by damn it it's cool, so I allow it. As I detest the fact that things that should be DM Fiat as described in the rule books (adjudicating things not in the books) getting turned into FEATS and thus hard-codifies. But that's an issue for another thread.

3: If you want to get technical, the undead dragon thinks it's drunk, and believes it's got a thousand-year-binge hangover. Do we really need to hash out mechanics for this? Just enjoy the ride. Besides, even APs ignore mechanics at times, if you go with Vancaskerkin in Rise of the Rune Lords and his 30 foot movement speed when he should not have it yet.

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A river of an amber coloured liquid coming from somewhere in the dungeon. They follow it to a very large, very ancient skeletal dragon, with patches of rotten red flesh hanging off. Stuck within it's teeth, is a silver bottle with the liquid flowing out.

It's a decanter of endless booze, and it happens to be the only thing that's keeping the Ancient Red Dracolich asleep in a drunken stupor.

Can you imagine an ancient red dracolich with thousand year binge hangover?

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I once had a gnome alchemist craft an alchemically powered chiansaw (used vials of Bottled Lightning).... Then, about a year later, the technology guide comes out.

I once had a wizard craft a multitude of golems, each of which held a cockpit.. And could all combine into one huge golem. After the twentieth time of the other players shouting "Megazord form up!", I kindly kind of... Blew up the golems and the wizard.

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One I plan to use that my fiance just told me about.

An Animal of Holding. While alive, it's stomach functions as an extradimensional space that houses a metropolis of inter-dimensional traders. When it's dead, the space fills with acid that nigh-instantaneously digests organic things such as flesh and plant-matter (killing the entire city). However, it has an infinite amount of space and weight with which you can store your items. Command word to retrieve as a move action. It weighs about 100 lbs as a corpse.

Do you try and tame the beast to get a ye olde magick shoppe? or do you kill it to store infinite amount of loot in?

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Well, this thread has taken a turn for the depressing. Hmm... What to do about it..

I know!

Cake! Everybody loves cake! Cakes have layers!

... No?

Parfaits! Aint nobody in the world that don't like parfaits. Parfaits have to be one of the most delicious things ever!

.... No?

Then how about how much people don't like annoying talking donkeys?

Cats are always fun!

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I almost envy you, Yuugasa.

Then, I realized that for me, apathy was a better fit. Far as I'm concerned, the world's going to hell in a hand basket, and humans are not inherently good at heart, being the vicious animals that we are.

Only person I'm sensitive and vulnerable to is the one(s) I love. Because only they deserve to have all of me.

Eh, I'll be sensitive with people who've proven to me they deserve it (most of the folks in this thread sound like it so far). Everyone else past an age that allows one to begin to understand the consequences and responsibilities of their decision can kiss the fattest part of my rump until they prove they're worth my time.

Then again, that's probably my outsider-rage at the state the world is in, of the lack of sense of accountability in humanity, and the general fact that no one seems to give a hoot to help while figuring 'hey that guy will do it!'...

So, yeah.... Optimistically pessimistic as I can be, I do sometimes wish I could give people the benefit of the doubt.

Yeah, sure, why the heck not. I'll just envy Yuugasa when I'm not rolling my eyes at the latest WTF moment that crops up in the world.

*Pats Yuugasa* Good on ya buddy. One of the few to make me feel like giving a crap about my crappy attitude.

.... Just... Not enough in comparison to the mountains of bull I witness on a daily basis.

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137ben wrote:
Tacticslion wrote:
KenderKin wrote:
Liranys wrote:
Muad'Dib wrote:

Liranys, I'm sorry you have to repeat that as many times as you have. If people had read your original post in context you would not have to explain yourself over and over again.


:D Sorry, I forgot what I've said in these sometimes so I tend to repeat myself.

Sometimes I find other people repeating myself.....
Repeat(ing) myself...
You can't do that! "repeating yourself" is not a character concept that fits in my campaign world! I'm going to ban PCs who repeat themselves!

But that's discrimination against people with Echolalia! Echolalia!

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Yuugasa wrote:
Kelsey Arwen MacAilbert wrote:
I'm not bisexual, so I admittedly lack the full perspective on what's going on, but it seems to me that bisexuals are generally getting more bigoted crap from lesbians and gays than us trans people are. Why do people pull out that crap like how bis are either gay or straight, or dating the opposite sex means you are straight, or that bis are untrustworthy, or that dating the opposite sex is treasonous? I've seen all of this from the mouths of gays and lesbians, and I can't help but wonder what the hell their problem is.
I've actually been on the receiving end of this recently, I'm not sure what it is about exactly. What I've picked up on so far is that somehow being bi is inherently threatening to certain gay men and women and it seems to be the same people whose sexual identity and "team" are of greater than normal importance to them. Maybe we are seen as infiltrators or wishy washy dabblers or something?

No idea, but I've been hit with it myself. Not so much recently, probably because I'm cresting the upper half of my 20s so it might have more credibility... But for me, it ranged anywhere between "bi doesn't exist" to "so you're a total slut then?"...

Really gets annoying when people assume you'll jump anything with a hole or a rod just because you're bi. Especially when it comes from the LGBT community. To which, I simply reply, "So... You're saying the same thing about me that people were saying about you in the 60s or so?"

I honestly wonder if it's a matter of whether they are secure in their own sexuality at that point. I once met a guy who was, and I don't mean to offend anyone by this, a total flamer. I mean, take every gay stereotype concerning voice, vocabulary, and state of dress you see on sitcoms (from stuff like "Oh. My. God. Oh no you di'nt! That's just deliciously fabtastic!" to swaying his entire body and waving their palm infront of my face). Bragging about how many guys he'd slept with, like it was some sort of contest. I was just sitting there going "So, who are you trying to convince? Me, or you?"... To which, when I finally couldn't take it anymore and said so, he turned it up.. Like.. Past 11.

Sometimes people seriously make me wonder about their psychological state. Or, more specifically, their security with who they are. Then again, not everyone can just say "screw it, i like me, go suck a donkey" and not give a damn what anyone thinks about 'em.

Edit: Don't care if anyone hates me, but, seriously... Such is why I hate "metro". "Hetero-homosexual" as it was described to me at one point. I laughed my ass off for a good ten minutes. Metro is a fad, not a sexuality, stop cashing in on the discriminated like you did the Goths and the Emos! *twitch*

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.. You can never have enough dice... Or crown royal bags.

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Azten wrote:

You know how some people can hear things others can't? Well, have a room full of wind chimes. Eerily quiet.

"Perception Trap"
Low DC: Fort Save or Perception penalties fir 1d6 minutes.
Medium DC: Fort Save or Deafness for 1d10 minutes.
High DC: Fort Save or be permanently deafened.

Encountering a similar trap really made a fellow player in a play-by-post get riled up because it went against the normal "find the trap, avoid it's effects" thing.

I am so stealing that.

I'm also renaming it to "player-entitlement trap".

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DungeonmasterCal wrote:
Chyrone wrote:
An annoying windup monkey that's invulnerable follows the PCs everywhere, to the point where stealth is no valid option.
Isn't that a kender?

Oh, no, you know what? It's so fashionable to take a shot at kender! Fact is they CAN be done in a way that's fun, with fresh material every night.

/bad reference.

Anyways, this POV annoys me sometimes. I used to play kender quite well, and not the little psychotic party-pranking a-holes people have come to expect. Because of the kender horror stories (which are astonishingly similar to Paladin and Antipaladin horror stories, Ie: Chaotic Beast and Lawful Stupid, or in the kender's case, Chaotic Maniac), I can't actually play one anymore.

Yet no one bats an eye when I play my old kender-style as a gnome.


Anyhow... More fun stuff to mess with people in a dungeon!

A merchant sitting in an empty room, on a rug, with carious small metal boxes. He advises that these bombs will be most useful for the following rooms, and does his best to sell them to the party. If someone pilfers one, he seems not to notice. When they buy one, he gives them a little instruction manual.

Step 1: Unhook latch.
Step 2: Throw box at enemy.
Step 3: Run away.

Should anyone actually decide to USE one, it's treated as a thrown splash weapon. Upon landing, the box lid pops open, and expels the contents hidden within.

Out pops a troll (or at higher levels, apply simple templates as necessary). They're Troll Bombs, created by shrinking a troll down to fine or diminuative size, then stuffing them in a strong, metal box. The box is strong enough so that when the shrinking effect wears off, they grow to as large as the box will allow, but won't break. Their regeneration heals any damage they take over the course of time as they continue to be 'crushed' by the tiny encasement. Thus, they are extremely pissed off when they get free, and will typically attack whatever living thing they happen to see at the time.


This spawned from an old wizard of mine that used to create and mail them to political enemies and anyone who crossed him. I've used the troll bombs being mailed to the PC's main base to shake things up a bit. It's become standard issue for certain big bads, and they get extremely paranoid when there's a small metal box in any dungeon room now.

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I'm Hiding In Your Closet wrote:

48. "Oogie-Boogie" (turn a crappy roll into a good one by slamming your fist on the table)

First things first. Kudos on the Nightmare Before Christmas (just watched that yesterday!)

Second.... This is an actual rule at my table. Players get 1 Oogie-Boogie per session. Except if it's a worse roll, even worse things happen. ^_^

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I once played a Gnome Oracle (Seer) of Dark Tapestry, who was usually "on a higher existence trip" (drugs) that believed he was nothing more than some character in a strange game of dice, paper, and miniature people! This led to both a more nihilistic view point, and the firm belief that should he die, he will be reincarnated into another being entirely....

I only had 1 character sheet at the time, and with how many games were randomly stopping after only three or four sessions (seemed like no one wanted to DM, this one only lasted 1 session!), I started having all of my characters since have horrible nightmares and hallucinations about being an insane gnome oracle who'd rave about all of reality is nothing more than some story game for childish human adults with too much time on their hands!

Naturally, only while with that group. Which became quite horrible after certain someones moved in. So, my fiance and I no longer game with them.

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31. "That's what they all say." (Fail a bluff or diplomacy check to convince the law of your innocence.)

32. "Judge, jury... Executioner." (personally execute a helpless or cowering opponent that you have seen commit a crime.)

33. "Dead men do tell tales." (obtain an important bit of information from a Speak With Corpse spell.)

[edit: major ninja'd! Number fix!]

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Next project: Stat up undead mimes that create walls of force.

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Congrats! Late to the party as I am.

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78. Thanks to a disruption of local ley lines, you do max damage with your weapon. However, it is dealt in 1 point increments per round, for as many rounds as you dealt damage.

(In effect, a 1-point DoT attack until you reach your max damage)

79. As you make your attack, you suddenly recall dirty joke told to you by a gnome prostitute. Your weapon gets thrown 5*1d6 feet away as you fall prone with a fit of hysteric laughter.

80. Your attack breaks the time-space barrier. Roll as if you had missed with a thrown splash weapon. You deal normal damage to what or whomever is within that square.

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Not so much in a dungeon, but in another game system the party had to join a resistance group. There was always talk of how the leader was taller than a mountain, broader than the sea, deadlier than a rampaging red dragon terrasque, and a whole lot of various other "he's a great man!" kind of talk. Stuff you would expect of epic-level PC demi-gods.

They get led into the tent... And it's a chicken. A single, talking chicken.

Said chicken actually WAS the leader of the resistance. The group proceeded to assume they were being made fun of though, and picked a fight. Chicken flat out PWNed them after they wiped out almost half the resistance force (party was mostly mages), being an epic-level caster that used various creatures to soul-hop and keep hidden.

Now, whenever I run a dungeon, every now and then there'll be tribal wall paintings of a mighty chicken (or some other animal) overthrowing some evil empire.

For reference: The initial inspiration for that was pretty much Chicken-Boo from Animaniacs. Only, with a twist :p.

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76. Your attack breaks the time-space barrier. It deals normal damage to your target, 1d6 rounds later.

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Lol. Classic. I can just imagine the elf pointing to his throat and doing the slashing motion, the drow using the sign language, and then the elf responds with... A thumbs up. Dunno why, that was just the mental image I got.

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I feel ya on only having one group. It's the only reason my fiance and I stayed with the second worst group in my entire 20+ years of gaming for so long (we had other gaming friends from TCGs, but their RPG games seemed to always be closed to us, which has made me start to wonder recently). Fortunately for me, my fiance stopped caring about full-party games and we're now running 1on1, with the occasional quick adventure with a friend over skype (major time difference prevents regular gaming, California us, Sweden him).

That said, in terms of XP, I've moved over from the basic XP system to my own, when running my own games. Depending on the speed of the game I want, exp to level up takes anywhere from 10 to 100. As a general rule of thumb, 1-3 exp for an entire session, 1-2 for difficult encounters that are actually overcome, 2-3 for a big-boss fight, and so on.

On a note about that, I mentioned "difficult encounters", meaning relative to the party strength, not based on CR and perceived 'strength'. If the party steamrolls an encounter, regardless of whether or not it's a final boss battle or not, they're not going to get much, if any at all, XP for it. Experience indicates, to me, overcoming challenges in way that makes one grow, whether with new ideas, increased physical prowess, etc. ragelancepouncing a color sprayed, feebleminded, grappled-for-good-measure boss is not something that would grant experience. Beating a boss after having the wizard fail a save vs feeblemind, the fighter dropped thanks to color spray, and the cleric used up all his buff/heal/support spells for the day, THAT is worth a handful of XP.

With pre-published paths, I can't do that as much, so I stick to milestone levels. Still getting a feel for AP/Module strength & "general level area", since most of my career I've either played, or ran my own stuff.

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Actually that's taking the logic a little too far, in comparison to game rules.

Take this with a grain of salt, since I can't recall where I read it, but last I was aware of, an "unarmed strike" only occurs with one's hand. You need, for some reason, Monk training (or Brawler now) to UAS with another part of your body.

Now, really. Think about it. Some random guy is walking down the street, or a new servant is preparing your meal, or that guy in the bar is buying you a drink. Would you expect ANYONE to have as deadly a training as a Monk/Brawler? Or that they would invest their first level perk into IUAS?

Walking down the street, do you expect anyone you pass, real world, to be able to punch you in such a way that indicates serious martial training and practice? Or, even if not with said practice, in any real way that would KO you in one shot?

How many people are paranoid enough that some random guy they're talking to is going to sucker-punch their lights out? Sure, someone could just up and hit you for no reason, but if everyone was expecting someone to nail them, and thus 'be aware' of such an attack, then there would never need to be any surprise rounds in the game!

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