Let me preface this by saying that I am completely serious and request serious answers (no matter how much I and probably everyone else will want to snicker).
If I'm making a monkey-based creature with a poop-tossing disease giving weapon, ... what should I call it?!? Specifically what can I call it and so I can publish it that I won't get in trouble with mothers and Paizo?
Your thoughts?
"diseased monkey/ape/orangutang/whatever"
I mean the weapon, not the creature. The creature's name is already chosen (based on other characteristics).
Cholera
Type disease, injury; Save Fortitude DC 13
Onset 1d3 days; Frequency 1/day
Effect 1d2 Con damage; as long as a character suffers Con damage from Cholera, he is fatigued.
A carrion golem transmits cholera on a successful slam attack.
rework as a successful ranged attack. not touch mind you, needs to cause damage to infect so maybe its a poop covered projectile that's coated and thrown.
I mean the weapon, not the creature. The creature's name is already chosen (based on other characteristics).
gotcha. If you want to be somewhat PC just call it "filth" or "flung/fling/flying Filth."
Serious: throw filth or filth throwing
Less serious: copro-jectile
EDIT: ninja'ed by coffee!
The weapon is basically this:
Poop Toss (Ex) Once every 3 rounds, the (unnamed monkey creature) can poop in its own hand as a swift action. As an attack action, it can fling the poop at a creature with a range increment of 10 ft. If a creature is touched with the poop, it contrasts monkey filth disease (info on monkey filth disease given).
gotcha. If you want to be somewhat PC just call it "filth" or "flung/fling/flying Filth."
Serious: throw filth or filth throwing
Less serious: copro-jectile
EDIT: ninja'ed by coffee!
Fling Filth. I think we have a winner. Thank you.
just call it "fling poo", there is an award winning card game called "Poo". Really funny, even for kids, so I doubt you'll get into trouble using the same terminology.
Fling "the big one" in someones face and a towel won't suffice to clean that off :)
Poo.
"Monkey $%#! Toss" has a ring to it, but i think "Fling Filth" is the crowd favorite.
Strangest. Thread. Ever! :)
Just wait ... they'll get even stranger the closer we come to next year.
Dun Duh Dunnnnn.....
OMG! I just realized something ... monkeys are tiny creatures. I can make them into swarms!!! Poop flinging swarms!!!!
OMG! I just realized something ... monkeys are tiny creatures. I can make them into swarms!!! Poop flinging swarms!!!!
Eww. Just, eww.
At least the save DC will be low.
Our back up PCs are on a quest on Monkey Island, and we've already been assaulted by Huge flying mandrills that throw poop and piss acid.
It felt less than heroic fighting them.
So be careful how you present them to your players.
EDIT:
We also encountered some Mad Monkey Swarms. They tried to steal stuff from us, as opposed to throw stuff at us.
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OMG! I just realized something ... monkeys are tiny creatures. I can make them into swarms!!! Poop flinging swarms!!!!
Oh that would make for a session that would not soon be forgotten.
If it is a swarm of poop flinging monkeys would they cover a 5' or 10' square with their poop? Would it make that area difficult terrain (slow move or successful Reflex DC 12 to move normally)? Oh the possibilities!
OMG! I just realized something ... monkeys are tiny creatures. I can make them into swarms!!! Poop flinging swarms!!!!
Make them flying monkeys. Poo-flinging flying monkeys. Gotta be flying monkeys.
OMG! I just realized something ... monkeys are tiny creatures. I can make them into swarms!!! Poop flinging swarms!!!!Eww. Just, eww.
At least the save DC will be low.
You'll find monkey swarm in the bestiary 2, Just add Poo flinging and you're set.
Our back up PCs are on a quest on Monkey Island, and we've already been assaulted by Huge flying mandrills that throw poop and piss acid.
It felt less than heroic fighting them.
So be careful how you present them to your players.
EDIT:
We also encountered some Mad Monkey Swarms. They tried to steal stuff from us, as opposed to throw stuff at us.
Ultimate Magic has a spell called "monkey swarm" (or something similar) that specifically says they try to steal stuff.
OMG! I just realized something ... monkeys are tiny creatures. I can make them into swarms!!! Poop flinging swarms!!!!Make them flying monkeys. Poo-flinging flying monkeys. Gotta be flying monkeys.
It'd be bombing at that point instead of flinging, but its semantics
I seriously thought this would be about nautical topics. Americanisms...
I seriously thought this would be about nautical topics. Americanisms...
This made me laugh. Thanks my non-american friend. ;-)
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DM: "Hey monk PC, you have snatch arrows feat?"
Monk PC: "Yeah, why?"
DM: <evil grin>
As an American, a Sailor, and a Boatswain's Mate aka a deck ape....
Ouch just... Ouch
Yar!
It'd be bombing at that point instead of flinging, but its semanticsOMG! I just realized something ... monkeys are tiny creatures. I can make them into swarms!!! Poop flinging swarms!!!!Make them flying monkeys. Poo-flinging flying monkeys. Gotta be flying monkeys.
... Brown-Rain?
~P
Hackmaster had a monster that did this. Feces Flinging Lemurs. I think it was in the Quest for the Unknown module. If you have any of those books check them out as the info may help with what you are making.
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OMG! I just realized something ... monkeys are tiny creatures. I can make them into swarms!!! Poop flinging swarms!!!!Make them flying monkeys. Poo-flinging flying monkeys. Gotta be flying monkeys.
OK, since you bring up flying monkeys, I actually have a dopey Wizard of Oz flying monkey story from back in my First Edition AD&D days ...
We were playing in an Oriental Adventures campaign (I loved that book!). I was playing a hengeyokai (a race of animal shape shifters from asian myth) ... a monkey hengeyokai to be exact ...
Anyway, our party was in some huge cavern deep under a Shogun's castle in the middle of a giant battle. My monkey hengeyokai, who at that moment was in his hybrid form (half human, half monkey) was up on a ledge shooting arrows. I needed to get down to the floor but it was pretty far down. Then I remembered that I had recently found a cool black Cloak of the Bat type of magic item. I announced I was using my Cloak to fly down ...
All my friends stopped and looked at me, grins spreading across their faces.
"Wait," one of my friends said slowly, "your character is a half human, half monkey, right?"
"Um, yeah ..."
"And you just sprouted giant bat wings?" another friend continued
"Well ... yeah ..."
At that point they all started laughing, bellowing the flying monkey music from the Wizard of Oz and saying 'Fly, my pretties!'
It must have been a half hour before we could get back to the actual battle.
From that point on, I could never use that cloak without my friends breaking into the flying money song ...
Sigh ... good times ...
I seriously thought this would be about nautical topics. Americanisms...This made me laugh. Thanks my non-american friend. ;-)
American actually. I tend to focus on Lovecraft, Poe, and British literature, so I try to forget American english-based homonyms that I run into since they only confuse things. Whenever I hear "poop" I think of a ship's stern, only to end up pinching the area between my eyes once I realize I'm dealing with an unnecessary euphemism.
True story:
I let poopfling.com lapse about a year ago.
I just never came up with a valid use for the domain. Go figure.
True story:
I let poopfling.com lapse about a year ago.
I just never came up with a valid use for the domain. Go figure.
But...but...
You could have filled it with pages of flash animation of monkeys flinging multi-colored poop at one another, and/or at political and celebrity figures to techno music accompaniment! How is that not a valid use?
OMG! I just realized something ... monkeys are tiny creatures. I can make them into swarms!!! Poop flinging swarms!!!!Make them flying monkeys. Poo-flinging flying monkeys. Gotta be flying monkeys.
OK, since you bring up flying monkeys, I actually have a dopey Wizard of Oz flying monkey story from back in my First Edition AD&D days ...
We were playing in an Oriental Adventures campaign (I loved that book!). I was playing a hengeyokai (a race of animal shape shifters from asian myth) ... a monkey hengeyokai to be exact ...
Anyway, our party was in some huge cavern deep under a Shogun's castle in the middle of a giant battle. My monkey hengeyokai, who at that moment was in his hybrid form (half human, half monkey) was up on a ledge shooting arrows. I needed to get down to the floor but it was pretty far down. Then I remembered that I had recently found a cool black Cloak of the Bat type of magic item. I announced I was using my Cloak to fly down ...
All my friends stopped and looked at me, grins spreading across their faces.
"Wait," one of my friends said slowly, "your character is a half human, half monkey, right?"
"Um, yeah ..."
"And you just sprouted giant bat wings?" another friend continued
"Well ... yeah ..."
At that point they all started laughing, bellowing the flying monkey music from the Wizard of Oz and saying 'Fly, my pretties!'
It must have been a half hour before we could get back to the actual battle.
From that point on, I could never use that cloak without my friends breaking into the flying money song ...
Sigh ... good times ...
human/monkey hybrid?
sooo... hairier than a human, but shorter tail than a monkey?That's about like a frog/toad hybrid
human/monkey hybrid?
sooo... hairier than a human, but shorter tail than a monkey?
That's about like a frog/toad hybrid
Hengeyokai are nature spirits, not actually hybrids. They're animals that can take human form, or a hybrid form. The monkey hengeyokai I've seen are basically human-sized monkeys with fully opposing digits on their hands and a fully bipedal posture.
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Hengeyokai are nature spirits, not actually hybrids. They're animals that can take human form, or a hybrid form. The monkey hengeyokai I've seen are basically human-sized monkeys with fully opposing digits on their hands and a fully bipedal posture.human/monkey hybrid?
sooo... hairier than a human, but shorter tail than a monkey?
That's about like a frog/toad hybrid
[total threadjack]
Rite publishing will be releasing "In the Company of Hengeyokai," next month for Kaidan, our Japanese based fantasy horror setting![/threadjack]