"F-fireee!", Boggledook screeches as the pig attacks him. "Attack others, we all equally tasty!", he screeches at the pig, swinging his torch madly.
The pig falls before a devastating series of attacks from the powerful warriors facing it. After taking what trophies and meat you desire you continue on and before too long arrive at Munchmeat Farm.
Surrounded by a rickety wooden fence and thick mud, Munchmeat Farm slumps in a soggy valley between two low tors. A slimy-looking creek winds through the farm, which is barely anything to look at. A house in the center of the fenced-in area leans against two hefty buttresses holding up three large beams. It’s balanced on numerous thick log stilts that create a cage-like hollow in the mud below the building. North of the house are a few filthy chicken coops, and to the west an upturned boat, propped against the fence, has been built into an impromptu shelter. A shed sits to the south of the building, and south and east of this shed are a few tired stretches of garden that look like they’re best at growing mud and weeds. A single rickety farm gate allows passage through the wooden fence here, below an archway made of broken branches and bleached bones. A sign hangs from the arch, its words scrawled onto the wood with what looks like blood. Three severed, maggot covered goblin heads sit on poles driven into the ground to the left of the gate. A second sign leans against these poles under the heads
The signs read as follows:
Trespsrs wil b eatn!
Yous gobluns taste
YUM! Send moar gobluns!”
The gate seems to be the only entrance into the farm but your pretty sure that the wall wouldn't be too much of a challenge to get past.
"Healing water is goodgood!", replies Boggledook as he watches his injuries disappear. "But better is not needing healing water!"
Upon glancing at the sign, he opens his eyes wide, before stampeding towards the words. "No read words! Words belong in goblin head!", he selflessly roars, as he attempts to quickly file away the words with his dogslicer and eat them.
Dogdog obediently drank the potion Zord gave him. He sat on Dog's back holding his slightly chewed lance looking very nearly regal (the overall effect would have been much better if his tongue hadn't been hanging out).
He'd dragged the boar carcass out to the shack after eating a few choice bits and dropped it in front of the door. Once he was done he backed up a bit and howled. It was a reedy, slobbery sound at first, then Dog joined him. That was a howl. Together the brothers called out their challenge to Pa Munchmeat.
Grubble squeals at the sight of the terrible written words. "Aaaaah! Grubble check words still in his mind! Purple! Fancy! Potatoes!"
Several more nonsensical exclamations thereafter, being sure that his words have gone nowhere, he checks out the "fortress" standing in front of them.
"I have a good idea for battle. A stratturgy, it is called. We set fire to all house and wait then go clean out Munchy Meaty's stuff."
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"Ooo! Ooo! Wait. Wait!"
Zord begins to gesture in arcane symbols and dance about. Momentarily, a nasty blob of flesh appears with half-formed limbs and a face that looks like a melting candle.
A light bulb turns on in Professor Zord's head.
"Ah! Good sir lemure, you have arrived a time most fortuitous to our adventure. Friend Grubble had a most interesting idea, one that you are most suited to help with. He suggests that we simply burn down this entire town. Given your immunity to fire, and your hatred for pretty much.... everything.... I am going to give you this lit torch, and have you advance to the buildings before us and ignite them. Here you go. Go on now, pip pip."
The lemure takes the torch from Zord, leaving his hand rather sludgy and then oozes away through the gate and towards the nearest building, an overgrown garden shed it seems. The Lemure arrives at the base of the shed and sets the torch against it, the overgrowth keeps the torch from properly lighting and the lemure quickly runs out of its time on the material plane. Just as you are sure the plan has failed the discarded torch catches a patch of dry scrub grass. The flames spread to the other brush and within a minute the entire shed is up in flames. You hear a soft hissing sound from within the shed which grows in volume until it squeals so loud it hurts your ears. Then with an incredibly loud bang the entire shed sxplodes in a massive fireball sending soot and debris flying in all directions.
Dogdog grinned at the explosion, but didn't move or give any orders. He'd made his display, and after Zord's trick he was sure he was going to have their attention. They'd come to him.
Good dogs know how to wait.
Grubble claps and does a happy little dance as the flames consumes their opponent's demesne. "Burny burny fire! Big badaboom!"
His eyes fix on the glowing embers, mesmerized by the lights show.
Boggledook smacks Zord's shoulder with an appreciative nod. "See! Professor Zord is learning of Boggledook's plan of the Communal Interdimensional!", he laughs out as the fire burns. "We are brought together by our love of the burning, whether goblin, or demon, or some other thing that loves fire!", he narrates vicariously, while carefully positioning himself behind Dogdog and Dog.
A shout comes from inside, a loud nasally female voice. "Pa, somebody is messin' around out there. Lets go spike!"
Dogdog lowered his lance and waited, practically bouncing in the saddle like a dog waiting for a stick to be thrown.
"Ha! Forgot to burn big house, only burned small one! Now there be more burnyburny stuffs coming to us!"
A tall greasy woman lumbers out of the farm house. she drags behind her a large spiked club and is followed closely by a massive ferret. The beasts face is covered in blood some dried and crusty, some fresh and red. The woman looks about with squinted eyes looking for intruders.
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"Remember!", shouts Boggledook. "If we hide, then they can't see us! And what they can't see, they can't hit!" Stopping for a moment and crawling behind a tree, the goblin continues. "And try NOT TO SHOUT! It drives them towards you!"
As Boggledook calls attention away from him, Grubble flattens against the ground. Setting people on fire is nice, but cutting their retreat with more fire is nicer.
Everyone can act.
From his hiding place from behind some scrub brush Boggledook takes a pot shot at the giant weasel.
Grubble's attempt at stealth is good but eventually fruitless as he spots the targets. "Fat burn well! Like Gutwad!" is his battlecry as he summons a glob of plasma, hurling the projectile at the large woman.
Dogdog spurred Dog forward and charged.
