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Even in these difficult times, Monkey Santa is there for me. Gods help me.This was a much-needed laugh on a highly stressful day.
I'd like to think I'll go into the Abyss brandishing a stuffed holiday monkey and writing schtick.
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If your heart is in your dream
No request is too extreme
When you wish upon a simian
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So... happy...
*dashes tear from eye*
Well done, Cal. Well done!
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Murder employees doesn't sound as good.
Murder-commuters.
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<narrows eyes>
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Murder employees doesn't sound as good.Murder-commuters.
Peregrinatory Deanimationists.
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Thought for the day: Doom Scroll sounds like an F-list DC villain. Like, he shows up in the background of one scene where the Joker is talking to thugs and all the hardcore nerds flip out and start speculating about a Doom Scroll movie...
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Thought for the day: Doom Scroll sounds like an F-list DC villain. Like, he shows up in the background of one scene where the Joker is talking to thugs and all the hardcore nerds flip out and start speculating about a Doom Scroll movie...
Quibble...I both love you and hate you.
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I hear that a lot.
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Thought for the day: Doom Scroll sounds like an F-list DC villain. Like, he shows up in the background of one scene where the Joker is talking to thugs and all the hardcore nerds flip out and start speculating about a Doom Scroll movie...
He sounds like a malfunctioning DoomBot¹ who shows up in Marvel comic panels, remaining unnoticed² by the comic characters as he/it starts applying cheesy WordArt effects to their word balloons and the narrator's text boxes.
¹ Or a Doctor Bong-bot from Howard the Duck.
² Exceptions include She-Hulk, Deadpool, Gwenpool, and one of Squirrel Girl's squirrels.
Edit: Hell, draw Doom Scroll in a psuedo-Sergio Aragones-style (especially so it clashes with the rest of the comic's art) and let him be able to travel between panels/scenes and get up to inconsequential goofiness via the comic margins, like the classic Aragones doodles in the margins of Mad magazine.
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This really belongs in the Television subforum, but more people will see it here. This was all I needed today. I just didn't know it.
"Green Child O' Mine" by Guns and Helmets, a Mandalorian Parody
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Welp, I'm in Facebook Jail for the next three days. At least I have a game Saturday night and a movie I got for my birthday to watch. I spend nearly all day on FB, which really isn't good for me, I know, but it's also something I do for entertainment and information, as well as conversing with friends.
My offense? I posted a .jpg parodying Hitler's "Mein Kampf". This is the second time I've been put in time out. The first time was for a cat picture. Seriously.
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Welp, I'm in Facebook Jail for the next three days. At least I have a game Saturday night and a movie I got for my birthday to watch. I spend nearly all day on FB, which really isn't good for me, I know, but it's also something I do for entertainment and information, as well as conversing with friends.
My offense? I posted a .jpg parodying Hitler's "Mein Kampf". This is the second time I've been put in time out. The first time was for a cat picture. Seriously.
What kind of cat picture was that? "Mein Purrer"?!
LOL!!!!
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There's no way I can reply to that honestly without getting political, so I'll just say Facebook needs to get its ftaghning house in order.
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Oi! Language!
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&1d qμ¡8b Ju§+ $@y "|4ΩgUaฯ€"¿
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As long as it wasn't an orange tabby dressed as Hitler dressed in a tutu complaining about a factual article in a newspaper, I see no way that a cat picture could NOT be political.
Maybe one of those words doesn't mean what I think it means.
Must be "cat".
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*locks eyes with Mark Zuckerberg; slowly crashes Facebook for no apparent reason*
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*locks eyes with Mark Zuckerberg; slowly crashes Facebook for no apparent reason*
Do it again!!!!
Do it again!!| 5 people marked this as a favorite. |
There's no way I can reply to that honestly without getting political, so I'll just say Facebook needs to get its ftaghning house in order.
{rolls in another barrel of napalm} Nope, it's way too late for that.
♫♪ Burning down the house ♫♪
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MY HOUSE!
Here, Cal, get this in yer luggers
(Black Sabbath live in San Francisco, 1971, and it's heaaaaavvvy)
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Limey, the link is messed up.
Here, Cal, get this in yer luggers
(Black Sabbath live in San Francisco, 1971, and it's heaaaaavvvy)
I think this is where you meant to direct us. Sabbath at the Winterland Ballroom, SF, 1971.
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Ach, balls. Yes, that was it.
I think this is where you meant to direct us. Sabbath at the Winterland Ballroom, SF, 1971.Here, Cal, get this in yer luggers
(Black Sabbath live in San Francisco, 1971, and it's heaaaaavvvy)
Awwww, yes. I needed that!
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Fantasy Monster: Dragon-Bear. A bear that hunts dragons.
That's a horrifying monster...lol
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Heh.
Our Starfinder game has a new player. He's playing a kasatha soldier who is all about honor.
ME: Death before dishonor!
KASATHA: Death before dishonor! *charges into fray*
ME: *muttering* By which I mean, you go first with all your honor and when you're dead, we dishonorable scoundrels will step up next, finish them off, and take everyone's stuff.
It's all in how you parse things...
So, let me see if I'm getting this: there's a bear out there that is primarily a meat eater (as opposed to RL bears that consume plant material for 80% of their diet) has to sustain a mass of anywhere from 16-125 tons. They do this by feeding on Young dragons (Medium sized creatures generally). This would be the equivalent of a normal, Large-sized bear surviving mainly on Tiny sized creatures.
While bears IRL DO in fact eat salmon as they spawn (Tiny sized animal), the bears, as stated above, still consume a mainly plant-based diet while doing so. I'm only making this point b/c... think of HOW MANY young dragons a Dragon-Bear would need to consume if the main bulk of the diet were meat.
Do dragons reproduce that fast? Would there be enough food to sustain these creatures more than, say, a couple generations? Also, most dragons can fly. While a Dragon-Bear has a reach of either 15' or 20' and an Acrobatics +20, meaning on a 10 they can jump vertically another 7' in the air with a 10' running start, all a dragon needs to do is fly 30' up and they can escape a Dragon-Bear's attack.
So Young dragons don't typically have the best Perception, but a Gargantuan creature has a -12 Stealth penalty. Even with a 15 Dex, Dragon-Bears are rocking a -10 to try and sneak up on Young dragon prey. This means a Young dragon, with a Perception +5, would notice a non-stealth Dragon-Bear approaching them at a distance of 120'. If the Dragon-Bear notices its prey and begins moving towards the dragon at the same moment, even with Nimble Moves it won't cover enough ground to hit it's prey.
The dragon meanwhile could try to flee. Most Young dragons have a Fly speed of 30' but Poor maneuverability. They'd likely have to double move for a round to gain enough altitude to flee. Fortunately, any natural terrain or obstacles between them and the Dragon-Bear means they've got a full round anyway.
Bottom line, while Dragon-Bears can deliver 79 avg damage and potentially Grapple a smaller-sized creature in a full round of...
That's exactly why it tends to scourge the land of nearby vegetation and whatever it can catch when it finds itself in worlds with lower population of easy to find and hunt dragons.
On the other hand, in its homeworld hunting conditions are probably more favorable (more dragons, more flightless dragons, dragons trying to avoid even worse things running into a dragon-bear).
On the third hand, local dragons might be less knowledgeable about its habits and get overconfident easily.
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The name of this creature made me imagine a dragon with a cone of bears as a breath weapon... terrifying and yet hilarious.
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"What are you going to do? Release the dogs? Or the bees? Or dogs with bees in their mouths and when they bark they shoot bees at you?"
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Bee-killer Dog?
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"What are you going to do? Release the dogs? Or the bees? Or dogs with bees in their mouths and when they bark they shoot bees at you?"
There was a very good science fiction short story that I read once from a collection I checked out at the Mena, Arkansas library decades ago and I can't find the title again after countless search attempts over the years since.
In it, a crew of human astronauts/explorers lands on a alien planet and discovers it is an idyllic harmonious pastoral paradise, where the main indigenous lifeform they discover is a cow-like herbivore that has pollinator bee-like hives living in their bodies. The near-cows are totally unthreatened and unconcerned by the astronauts' arrival... and I can't say more without spoiling the rest of the story. Except that the captain/leader has a stomach ulcer.
Bee-killer Dog?
I wonder what new kinds of pets/companion animals do thriae keep?
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Bee-killer Dog?
The rise of the bee-killer dogs would be a perfect capstone to 2020.
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Probably what's been causing colony collapses all along. They've just been working in secret.
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Probably what's been causing colony collapses all along. They've just been working in secret.
Yep.
That checks out.
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and I can't say more without spoiling the rest of the story. Except that the captain/leader has a stomach ulcer.
Could you please PM me with the spoilers? And anything you remember about the other stories in the collection?
I think I have a lead.
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Bee-killer Dog?The rise of the bee-killer dogs would be a perfect capstone to 2020.
Because you know they wouldn't be big, lunky, friendly dogs like Labs or Huskies, but mean spiteful little Chihweenies and Peekapoos.
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Bee-killer Scrappy Doos { ice weasels shudder in dread}
and I can't say more without spoiling the rest of the story. Except that the captain/leader has a stomach ulcer.Could you please PM me with the spoilers? And anything you remember about the other stories in the collection?
I think I have a lead.
PM sent.
Let me know if you remember the name or if someone finds it.
How's everyone doing?
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Doing well! Enjoying a berry smoothie after a workout. Watching the dogs sleep. I'd say "lazy dogs" but they go anywhere from 8-12 miles a day, so I'm actually glad they're asleep.
Been having fun with Starfinder. I don't think it'll become my go-to system the way Classic Pathfinder is, but it's been a fun detour so far. I'm playing a Vesk who is the laziest, whiniest Vesk in the whole Veskarium. Imagine a Klingon in a Richard Linklater Star Trek movie and you get the gist.
"Oh god, do we HAVE to shoot these guys? I'm still tired from electrobatoning the last batch... what? The crashed ancient starship is a whole click away? I left the Veskarium so I'd never have to forced march a kilometer through the jungle again... There better not be any shock monkeys on this world... kiss my cloaca, monkeys..."
And so forth.
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There is jazz on teevee. I'm watching it.