Captain Yesterday Red Dead Redies.


Video Games


I best be able to ride cattle.


Lessons learned.

1. The O'Driscolls are a@$*+~~s.

2. I may or may not murder Micah and leave him in a ravine.

3. Hypothermia is bad, m'kay.


Bill Williamson is a goddamn boob in this game too.


4. Wagons suck.

5. Every mission needs to be a train robbery.

6. Dead eye might be as fun as VATS.


I finally made it out of the goddamn snow and have set up an honest to gosh hobo camp!

To commemorate the occasion i shaved, put on a kick ass duster, ate a can of peaches, patted my horse, and went wandering free range!

1) Strutted through Valentine.

2) Got my horse dirty, which according to the horse IS A BAD THING.

3) Found a river to wash off my horse, Princess Diva Plops (If anyone knows how to actually name your horse i desperately want to know).

4) Came across some dude washing his knickers, apparently some dude on a horse with a revolver pointed at him was scary because he ran away.

5) Shot a stupid rat trying to swim across the river.

6) A nearby prospector heckled me, not wanting to scare him off (unlike the hobo launderer) i got off Princess Diva Plops and put away my gun. He punches me in the face, i retaliate, by shooting him in the head. What the f#&+ dude! we were going to be friends!

7) Yay! He had Whiskey and bitters!

8) We ride off into the sunset.

9) Bear attacks!!!!!

10) Princess Diva Plops throws me aside, runs away.

11) Bear starts mauling the f~%#ing shit out of me!

12) I somehow wrestle free and start shooting it in the face, i run out of ammo, reload three shots and fire all three, the last one miraculously felling the bear.

13) I call for Princess Diva Plops, assuming she didn't make it.

14) She runs dramatically over the crest of the hill, yay!

15) I eat TWO cans of peaches!

16) We ride home, I crawl into bed, unfortunately...

17) Princess Diva Plops is dirty, she needs a bath.

Eye twitches, ever so slightly.


So, I stop to ask this guy for directions, but I still don't have my button controls down, so I guess I antagonised him because he started shooting at me, so I did what I had to do. But I guess these two guys on a wagon witness the whole thing, so I take care of them. Then as I'm looting bodies, a group of other riders start investigating.

*Sigh* It's gonna be a long day!

And now Princess Diva Plops needs a another washing.

Eye twitches, ever so slightly.


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What I've learned.

1. L2 is for talking.

R2 is for shooting.

This explains why I keep accidentally shoot people in the face when I'm trying to talk to them.

2. Taking care of any witnesses to your accidental face shootings can get messy.


3. Tracking bunnies is way more fun than it ought to be.


As always, if anyone else wants to share their experiences with Red Dead Redemption 2 feel free!

I love the game so far!


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