Help me improve my Giant.

[Amanuensis]

If you want to see this published, you need to work on your template. Take a look at existing creatures to make sure you understand which terms are capitalized and which are not. Make sure you use the correct separators and hyphens. It really helps to parse each and every aspect of your template by comparing it to an existing creature with similar abilities--you'll be surprised how many details there are to consider. It's basically the only way to learn how to do it right. Make sure that your math is correct (when you increase or decrease a value, make sure that all dependant values increase or decrease accordingly).

Added templates like fiendish are not part of a creature's bestiary entry (though they can be part of a specific creature's entry using an existing base creature's entry).

Chaos rift should probably be a special attack. Summon is a spell-like ability and shouldn't be mentioned under SQ.

For abilities that require a saving-throw, you need to mention which ability score the saving-throw is based on (unless it is an extraordinary ability, it is usually Charisma).

Unmovable should probably not grant immunity. Giving them the extraplanar subtype and then making them immune to banishing effects seems a bit counterintuitive. They already have SR, so maybe their SR is increased against these effects? Likewise, their CMD against certain combat maneuvers could be improved.

If their signature weapon is a shotel, I expect an ability to throw opponents from their mounts and somehow tie this into their background (Do they traditionally fight mounted opponents who use shields?). Overall, the background doesn't give me a lot of information on how to use this creature as a GM. [I know that many bestiary entries give information on the size and weight of a creature, but I personally find those pretty useless unless they are unusual for a creature's size category. I'd rather have some background information on their culture or monstrous ecology].

I'd also expect there to be a bit more information about the rifts they
create. Can they be used by more powerful giants to summon demons? Can several giants work together to create more dangerous rifts?

[SmiloDan]

Vis-à-vis templates: There is a fancy dash called the N-dash or something that reviewers seem to REALLY REALLY like. Hopefully someone with better template-fu than me can tell you where and how to use it.

[Andre Roy]

Amanuensis wrote:

lotStep of point point

1) That's a good point, I've been trying hard to be faithful to the format, but I do intend to go over them with a fine-tooth comb a few more passes to catch any inconsistency.

2) I will update my sheet with the location of the rift and add the saving throw info.

3) I haven't thought of that. And rather than scraping it, increasing their SR and maybe an increased CMD Vs trip, bull rush and similar maneuver could work better.

4) they wouldn't be facing mounted opponent, but fighting along mountain side cliffs, maybe some kind of pushing or tripping ability...or maybe an special flanking bonus as you can go around the shield...or SmiloDan'so suggestions.

I'll think it over.

5) I see your point and try to improve the background with more helpful information.

6) I was considering giving the rift an independant gate ability that would bring unbound creature, but that was removed...however, I never considered using the rift in aiding the giant in their summoning ability (either innate spell-like or class granted) maybe percentage increase, more creature or a hight DC to resisted the effect. Let me think of it.

Cooperative summoning is an option I haven't consider.