How would three kids in a trenchcoat work?

[Ruske Bell]

Or gnomes, or halflings. It's a joke idea I've pondered on and off again. I was thinking barbarian as the bottom, cleric in the middle and a wizard on top. What penalities would apply? Ride checks? When they are attacked which character is targeted (assuming that the attacker doesn't know it is three beings in a trenchcoat.) How many attacks of opportunity would the trenchcoat wearers get?

[My Self]

Apply encumbrance rules (weight of the top two for the bottom guy, weight of the top for the middle guy), then give them their choice of ride or acrobatics checks (to balance) to stay on. Use the speed from the bottom guy to determine move speed. Treat it like fighting mounted (including concentration), except that you have two people mounted instead of one. Same number of AOOs as if it were a guy on a horse on horseback riding past you. Whenever you get hit, make a ride/acrobatics check to stay put, equal to the DC of a fly check to not fall when taking damage. Also include a ride/acrobatics check with the DC of a fly check to not fall when you collide with something. When targeted by an opponent who doesn't know that there are three people, roll a d3 to see who gets hit.

[BigNorseWolf]

-4 for the middle rider -8 for the top one.

[Gwen Smith]

We have three halfling siblings in our area who pull this trick, but only out of combat. They show up at their mission briefings or walk around town in a trench coat, but as soon as something happens, they do Acrobatics checks to get off each others' shoulders smoothly. The bottom character is encumbered (so 15 ft movement), but since they're not in combat, it doesn't matter.

[Corvino]

Vincent Adultman? Is that you?

[Kobold Catgirl]

*Whistles*

[Not Goblins in a Coat]

The same way goblins do. Err. I mean halflings haha!

[Qaianna]

'Is that a lance in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?'

CHARGE!

I think the Ride/Acrobatics checks would be best. Encumbrance as well, although it looks like you've already thought of it with the classes in the stack. The two bottom ones are unarmed and unable to really attack for AoOs, since they're busy being the mounts for the top piece of the pile.

As far as the Disguise skill roll that this is probably supposed to be the point of? I'd say normal rules with aid another checks, based on who in the stack is best at it. A normal Disguise roll is at -12 for a halfling to look like a human, with most of that the -10 for being on the short side of things. A generous GM might let the totem pole trench slightly mitigate that -10. But not much, I'd think. Halfling heads are still smallish. And still halfling shaped, so you still get your -2 racial penalty. (Children instead eat the -2 age penalty. Or both if they're hafling kids, but you probably need more than three.)

Oh, there's another -2 for wrong gender issue. I'd say majority rules there, ties go to the penalty.