Bottled Cloud

[John Leclaire]

I'll agree with earlier comments about the price needing to be higher, but overall I really enjoyed this item! Great job!

Congrats on making the Top 36 and good luck in the rest of the competition!

[Brian J. Fruzen]

Congratulations on earning a spot in this year’s Top 32, Kiel! Here’s some thoughts I had while reading your description of the bottled cloud:

• It has a simple name that tells us exactly what we’re getting. The magic of it is that it’s a fantastic and magical concept that captures the imagination instantly.
• The description is concise and evocative, but does seem like you were checking off boxes on the sensory information card. The “whoomp sound” feels out of place.
• The first power is pretty neat, and I can think up all kinds of uses for this item for both NPCs and players.
• The second power is what sells me on its place in the Top 32 though. Having a player’s action turn it into a storm cloud is extremely engaging, and adds to the usefulness of the item.
• A small, cheap consumable with this kind of utility should probably cost a little more though. As written, roleplaying reasons are the only thing standing in the way of me making sure every character I play carries one.

This is a wonderfully creative item that helps to create the kind of high fantasy we read about in storybooks and fairytales. It will almost certainly enhance every game session it gets used in, and that’s some fine design work. Good work, and good luck in Round 2!

[Curaigh]

Kiel Howell wrote:

Bottled Cloud

Congratulations Kiel!

Welcome to the Top 32. I am still confused by 'solid enough to walk on,' but can 'walk through as difficult terrain.' Can I climb them like a ladder if I am inside? But it is a very cool consumable.

Good luck!