This is a decent looking map reference at first glance.
There is a compass rose and a scale.
Details are there and fairly easy to read everything along with the legend and various location names called out.
The map reference looks ok and everything is in place.
I do recommend this map to progress to round 3
Contributor
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The Good
It's an overland map, so points for trying something different and more difficult.
There is a key, scale, and compass
The map is labelled clearly, and I could turn this into a final map without asking additional questions
The Bad
Your city is almost 60 miles across at it's widest point, while most medium-sized creatures can only cover 24 miles in a full day of walking, and even a horse could only cover 40 miles. Even Xin-Shalast was only about 5 miles across. Is this intentionally a cyclopean ruin that went on for days and would take PCs weeks to explore?
The placement of rivers, the city, and mountains all seem random. The names and locations don't seem to have any theme. I can't feel any story here. There doesn't seem to be a lot of consideration put into the map beyond "Vault in Orv"
My Judgement
Great communication, but no superstar idea behind it. I weakly do not recommend this entry for advancement to the next round.
Modules Overlord
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Drawing from my blog on maps, and the rules for the round, I’ll judge the maps on a number of questions.
Is It a Full Page Map?
Yes.
Does The Map Have A Compass Rose and Scale? Are They Used Well?
Yes, and maybe. The cavern is a vast empty circle, and the city is huge. Like, more than 1,000 the square miles of Absalom.
Is The Map A Place I Want To Adventure?
Maybe. There's a lot of terrain to cover, and not much of interest marked in it.
Is the Map Clear?
Yes.
Is the Map Detailed?
No. For example, there's a chance that if I send this out, I'll get a city with numerous 5-mile long buildings in the exact shape of the icons on this map. There's no sense of what the city is like (Ruins? Spires? Sweeping adobe bridges?), or what kind of terrain makes up the carven. Why do the rivers flow where they do? Are there really multiple mile-long bridges over it?
Is the Map Imaginative?
No. It's a single big, round cave with some traditional fantasy stuff in it.
I do not recommend this for advancement to Round 3.
I like this one mostly becuase of the names it makes me want to find out more.
With the cities name my first assumption is some kind of vast lovecraftian city so its size doesn't bother me.
Though love craft stuff always wins free points with me
I'm on the fence with this one but names like "Corpse Wall" and "Well of the Dying God" spark my interest. There's a lot here to fire my imagination of a sword&sorcery pulp location.
I stared at it a while, then thought to myself, "The creator is trying to win me over by throwing out a bunch fabulous names. And it's kind of working." I really want to know what the Veilguard does. So, I kind of like where this going, but there just isn't enough there, there.
RPG Superstar 2014 Top 16
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Marathon Voter Season 7, Marathon Voter Season 8
aka Jrcmarine
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Great names do not make a great entry. I like the names of the locations like everyone else, but the round is supposed to be about the map, not just the names on the map.
At first glance of this entry I was digging it a little bit. I thought ok it is an overland map, which is difficult but hey swing for the fences.
Problem 1- the area is needlessly way too big. As mentioned above, the city is 60 miles across! NYC is only about 7 miles at its longest point. The fortresses appear to be almost 5 miles wide! Is this cave inhabited by giants? Even giants don't have 5 mile wide fortresses so I am not sure who is living here.
Problem 2-The worm wastes are the same color terrain as the rest of the cavern. Felglow marsh is the same color terrain as the rest of the cavern. The Ash Dunes are the same color terrain as the rest of the cavern. The Blood Stone Fields get their own color but I guess none of the other locations rate their own color. If you are going to use color to designate location or terrain, then you have to use it throughout. As a nitpick I don't like green water unless the reason is clear why it is green and naming it Dead Water Lake isn't justification enough.
Problem 3-The Fallen Stairs, The Corpse Wall, Well of the Dying God, Ash Rime Altars, and Black Thorn Gardens all have cool names. But they also all have the same generic "Ruins" marker from the key. If you take the time to give them each a unique name, take the time to give them each a unique icon. If you don't, the cartographer won't either. Along the same train of thought, The Glassfire Eye and Ember's Spire shouldn't have the same icon either, unless they are twins of each other. And the same with the two forts that are named.
Problem 4- Is the only means of entrance to this Vault from the Sightless Sea? It's hard to believe a cave this large that was once inhabited or currently inhabited would only have one means of entrance, especially if that entrance was from Sea. I guess it is possible, but it's a stretch for me.
Despite all of the above, this one is still on the fence for me. The names are that good and the fact that you took on an overland map holds some water with me.
15th map I have seen, your current rank is 4th, excellent work!
Unfortunately, this reminds me a bit of my map in the encounter round last year. I did in part a village map, thinking it would be slightly representative as opposed to showing every single house and it cost me. This feels like a similar situation to me, where the city has twelve blocks, each of which has three buildings of the exact same dimensions. I don't think that's what you meant for it to be, and I feel that pain.
That said, I don't think there's much here that makes me want to run an adventure in this local. It's an area of the Darklands and it's got some cool names, but I think I'm more curious about the Corpse Wall or the Glassfire Eye. Maps of those places might have drawn my attention, but this just isn't doing it that much for me.
I also have to admit I agree with James about the water being green, though I realize that's really nitpicky.
I haven't decided yet, but I don't think I'm going to vote for this map. Sorry.
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RPG Superstar 2013
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Dedicated Voter Season 6, Dedicated Voter Season 7, Dedicated Voter Season 8, Star Voter Season 9
aka Steven T. Helt
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Welcome to Superstar round two! As I mentioned elsewhere, this is maybe the toughest round two if Superstar ever, and Owen was really intentional in forcing the community to get to know maps and mapping.
Your map definitely has some of the things I'm looking for whether as a GM, adventure designer, or developer. It has cleverly-named locations that make me want to know more..that's something a few entries are sorely lacking.
However, the map really has a lot of wasted space. A giant open area called "the Worm Wastes" isn't enough. Why not several giant burrows in the floor? What about a mountain of purple worm carcasses or something? Decent GMs can take an idea like "the Worm Wastes" or Bloodstone Fields and run with it almost spontaneously. But your map turnover needs to offer some details for the cartographer to work with, as well as details that connect the text of the adventure to the map. As it is now, the vault map doesn't prevent GMs (or the cartographer) from still having to completely come up with encounter maps from scratch.
I think it's a little weird that the Ash Dunes are surrounded by hills, by don't actually have hills. : )
Good luck this round. If it pays off, bring your best game and take some risks.
An entire Orv Vault? Ambitious! Talk about swinging for the fences. This massive world unto itself has a lot of intriguing points of interest. From fortresses and towers to unusual terrain, this place has it all and could be a great place to adventure.
However, the scale makes the city bigger than most modern urban sprawls. There is no indication why that city should be that huge. With the other entries I have been supporting I get a certain amount of story that goes along with it. Here I am in the dark. What are the Blood Stone fields? How do they differ from the Ash Dunes and the Worm Wastes? In some ways the names make me think of Mordor from Tolkien's Middle-earth with all the devastation. Nasty, but not that original.
There are probably a lot of interesting backstories behind all these places, but they are not conveyed on the map. So while this has some good stuff it falls short for me. I will not be voting for this entry.
Challenge: Is this map difficult to execute? Does it in my opinion demonstrate the characteristics of a Superstar designer?
Technique: Did the designer show some skill and consideration in the choices made on the map. Are the words used in the key wise choices that add to the overall utility of the map?
Utility: Can a GM/cartographer make sense of the map and make immediate use of it?
Overall: I'll rate the Map as an A for strong recommends B for weak recommends C on the bubble D for weak rejects F for Do not recommends
Challenge: So a under-dark style cavern? It's a tough one to pull off so points
Technique: Looks like a late 80's early 90's filler computer graphic. I could possibly look past that but it's basically an oval and the legend is filled with over the top trope sounding names.
Utility: Nope never going to use it never would that get put in front of a cartographer either
Overall: F as in this is a strong do not recommend
cool names enhance an already cool map they don't make the map cool. This feels to me like an early draft of a cool map. The basic ideas are there but the detail is lacking.
I can't help but feel like this is a rushed job. D.
Chiming in with my thoughts while I've got some spare time...
First, the good:
This is actually a very clean map. The crisp iconography to clearly delineate stuff aids the cartographer. You've also done what you can to showcase your creativity by giving evocative names to certain locations on the map. You've also made some decent use of color to highlight certain areas that you want to call to the attention of the viewer, thereby immediately getting them to ask questions or imagine more about your map.
Now, a few shortcomings:
It's an overland map. To me, that's kind of a "safe choice" for this round. It doesn't really require a tremendous amount of detail. And, from the perspective of trying to showcase your design skills for the competition and the voters, it doesn't really present a lot of room to stand out.
I'm also not seeing any particular details that "wow" me in terms of wanting to know more. It's serviceable. It's safe. And, consequently, it's a bit uninspired if I'm looking for Superstar capability.
Lastly, it looks like this is a dead-end vault in Orv. Visually, the only obvious entrance/exit appears to be the Passage to the Sightless Sea. As such, it's kind of too limiting. The best maps have a variety of ways in which the PCs can come and go from them. That's kind of absent here, and so the Orv Vault of Ur-Athan feels kind of stale.
And, finally, what I think could be improved:
It's kind of odd to say it this way, but there's really not enough "character" to this map. There are plenty of locations sprinkled across it...many with names that'd be good to drop into an adventure title (e.g, "Master of the Ash Dunes"..."Journey to the Worm Wastes"...etc.). But what I'm really missing is a good indication of who or what lives in Ur-Athan. The City of Iq-fthagn sounds like it might have a Cthulu connection, but it still feels unformed. Pinning the location down to a specific civilization somehow would've probably served you better. That way, the map itself tells a story and you can relate all the cool, named locations presented in the map's key to that civilization so the map itself informs various conclusions you can draw about it.
My two cents,
--Neil
I actually read through the background on Orv and the Sightless Sea...and obviously, the Great Old Ones correspond to Iq'fhtagn. Nevertheless, I still don't get a sense of what's in Ur-Athan. If it's just leaning on a bunch of Lovecraft enthusiasm to carry it, it still lacks characterization. Maybe another way of saying it is that Cthulu-esque references don't automatically carry a submission (whether it's a map or anything else). There has to be something more there to help it standout. Show me something creative rather than derivative.
Before I get to my regular review style, I would like to mention that the hate for the large city may be unnecessary. While it's certainly possible he accidentally made his city so huge, it's also possible he did his research on the only other Orv Vault to get described in any detail. Illvarandin is an Orv Vault populated with intellect devourers that is described as a largely uninhabited city the size of a country. Of course that doesn't excuse the river that is 20 miles across, but maybe that is supposed to be more symbolic than actually indicative of its size.
I know this is under Golarion from working on articles for Wayfider. So props for locating this somewhere that makes sense for what the map is - though as Neil points out - this is a one way place.
As I commented for Gravepit Basin of Fallen Sercai, there are just waaaay too many intriguing grim dark locations just dripping with peril and pothooks waiting to be delved and demonstered. Some of them seem to have been added just to fill space. Felglow with one "l" in "Fel" rubs me up the wrong way, but that says a lot more about me than your ability to mash language. Go for it.
I do get the sense of intrigue here - the Star Throne is obviously a seat of power as well as a fortress. The Veilguard are watching, as is the baleful Glassfire Eye. The Blood Stone Fields around Ember's Spire speak to a lot of claret spilled and ranks upon ranks of dead and dying.
To be honest it smacks of a map for a novel from the early nineties that has lots of W's in the title. Wizards and Warshapers or Weirworkers and Wrothguards or whatever those were. Addictive, but empty.
Just adding to the Lovecraftina discussion - why IS this Orv Vault Lovecraftian/Cthulhu-esque? It seems out of place to me for that to be the case. I guess I'm not a fan of those works, so that makes me less enamored of the map, but also because it feels like pasting something in where it may not belong for me.
My favorite thing: The Corpse Wall is hands down the best 3 words in this contest. It singlehandedly has bummed me out that there aren't any great undead themed maps in this round. I'm probably going to make a map of it myself.
Other things I like: Doing an entire vault was certainly a gutsy move, and you have a knack for names.
My least favorite thing(s): It's still not a great map, but you've probably realized that now. Some things are out of scale, and there isn't enough detail even when you're this zoomed out. If you could have given me a map of The Corpse Wall, that would have been something. Even that might be too ambitious since it's 60 miles long, but I really want to see a map of it.
Will I vote for it: You have some good ideas here, but that's not enough. I think you're actually probably my 16th pick, so I hope you make it to the next round, but I won't be voting for this map.
@Mark D Griffin: Corpse Wall is a good name.
But you don't think The Haunted Dinosaur Graveyard of Mediogalti Island is undead themed enough? Or just not great enough? ;P
The Ghoul Pits in the Kabriri map?
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But you don't think The Haunted Dinosaur Graveyard of Mediogalti Island is undead themed enough? Or just not great enough? ;P
The Ghoul Pits in the Kabriri map?
I think the Dinosaur graveyard is more jungle/dino themed than undead. The Ghoul Pit is the only map I'd considered strictly undead themed, but I did not like it.
Patrick, if you make it to round 4 and you get free choice of where your encounter takes place, please consider having it at the Corpse Wall. Then I'll be less bummed.
It strikes me as an "okay" map. It does its job and this looks like an interesting place to adventure. However, I honestly would rather these interesting-sounding places be mapped rather than an entire Orv Vault. A map of the Corpse Wall! A map of the Well of the Dying God. The scale is a big mark against you. Scale is one of the most important things in drawing maps.
I'm not sure if I will vote for this. However, I like it much more than some maps this round.
The Glassfire Eye? Which is a tower? Uh huh... Oh hi, Sauron!
Joking aside, there are some good things in this map. It's a gutsy move to go with Darklands location - though we got more of those than I would expected - and this has a suitably cavernous feel to it. It actually took me back to good old Menzoberranzan, always a nice thing. The names are also evocative for the most part, though they're pretty heavy on the "could be the name of a death metal band" department.
But, as others have pointed out, this is way too huge to be practical, there's not enough detail and it seems somewhat uniform despite having as many locations as it has. Plus, if you're going to use that shade of red, I'll always think of lava before anything else.
And it actually seems there are two ways to exit this cave. Or there was. The Fallen Stairs and the Passage to the Sightless Sea. So I don't see that as a problem.
All in all I'm not just seeing enough creativity here. The names work, but the rest of the map shows nothing we haven't seen before.
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Modules Overlord
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Official Round 2 Note: On Map Resolution
We’ve had some comments on legibility of smaller type on the maps, and the contestants are (by the rules of the contest), not allowed to clarify anything, so I want to make a general statement about maps and resolution.
When we required all contestants to present maps at a specific dpi and size, we did so because in past years we’ve had some issues with maps (for the encounter round) being sent to us in different sizes, resolutions, and dpi, making it difficult to give them all a high-quality presentation for the contest. We found that asking for a higher dpi than we’ll use in the end allowed us to create a standard of presentation that kept all images crisp and clean. For encounter-round maps, this has worked well.
Unfortunately, since this round requires all text be provided on the maps themselves, many contestants used the dpi and size standards we required as the basis for making sure their text is clear, and otherwise tried to keep words as small as possible so as to not clutter their maps. This was done in the (reasonable) belief that the maps should look good at the size we asked for, rather than in any different size we might present on our website. When resized for smaller, high-quality images, this can result in words that aren’t clearly legible.
We’ve made a change to rescale everything to the higher end of maximum image size for uploaded images for all maps that were entered this round. This should allow for better legibility for voters when selecting their favorite maps to advance in the contest. It is our fault that this process was not properly communicated to our contestants, so consider this when adjusting or finalizing your selections.
Obviously, we’ll explain what is going to happen to the images of maps, and how to allow for it, more clearly in future rounds (and future contests). My apologies to any contestant with a map that has suffered as a result of how we handled scaling in this round.
First off: Congratulations on making Round 2, and the best of luck in the votes!
Coolness: Do I look at this, and want to use it in a game? Does it provoke wonder or amazement? Does it hold potential for interesting encounters, adventures or roleplay? How much mileage does this map have in it?
Usability: How usable is this for me as a GM (being that GMs are actually the primary audience of most maps)? Is the legend clear and in logical order for play? Does it give me enough information to easily visualize the parts and wax poetic about the varied locations? Does it have the necessary details for me to run with it on the fly, or will it involve a lot of improvisation? Does it have any glaring oddities that stop me mid-breath to go "what the hell is that?!"?
Craftsmanship: Is it clear, legible and containing all the necessary bits and bobs? Does it make good use of the space? Is the scale appropriate for the detail (and visa versa)?
(I suppose you could also call them "Creativity, Functionality and Skill", but I like my terms better :P).
Coolness: E+
- Positive: It's hard for an Orv-Vault not to be cool.
- Negative: It's hard to know what I'm actually looking at, much less be inspired by it. What does the grey, green and red mean? Orv vaults are thousands of feet high yes, but 10-15 mile wide mountain ranges (unless they're intended to be gentle slopes)? Is the city really 60 miles across… I mean, Brisbane is a sprawling mess of a city with the population density of a rural village, but it's of that scale and has 2.2 million people. Are there really three mile long bridges? I also am not a fan of overdramatic names, particularly when there appears to be neither theme nor pattern to them.
- Verdict: E+
Usability: E
- Positive: There are labels and locations
- Negative: I have a vast underground cavern which I don't even know what the basic diome is… I'm guessing some kind of greyish wasteland? It's mostly empty, and where there are features, their names are too 'fantastic' to actually indicate function or relationship to the rest of the map. Nevermind the 5 mile long buildings that would make even Nocticula seem modest by comparison.
- Verdict: E. I wouldn't use this map, I'd just improvise.
Craftsmanship: E
- Positive: Compass is present, scale is there, labels are used, key is easy to find and read.
- Negative: Key is enormous, scale is illogical given the features, and no guide to what the actual terrain is like is included.
- Verdict: E.
Overall: E
Notes:
1) I acknowledge I may be somewhat hard to please when it comes to maps, but I work on the principle of "Would I pay for this?", because the intent of this round is to put forth a full page map as if for professional submission for publication - i.e. that people will pay for, and I'm going to comment as such.
2) The old adage is that "A picture is worth a thousand words", and so too should your map. With me, that shouldn't be hard; I'm verbose as hell and like embellishing on descriptions to get visuals across. So if I think I can describe the entire contents of a map in a few hundred words or less while trying to cram as much flavor and visual cues in as possible, then I'm pretty confident that there isn't enough information and detail on the map.
Here are my ratings for this map:
First Look: C
A typical "overland" map, only underground.
Interest Level of Location: C
A lot of great names, little indication of what these places actually are.
Tactical Depth: NA
I am not rating this category for maps that are not of a tactical scale.
Adventure Potential: B
There are tons of potential adventure sites here, but no obvious story telling me why I would visit them.
Clarity: A
No problems here.
Logic: D
The giant city, the single exit, lots of little things don't quite make sense.
Overall: C+
There seems to be some conflicted views on your map. I liked it, and it definitely inspired me to want to explore that area. Once a cartographer got a hold of this, I think it could be real cool.
I have you ranked #8, good luck!
I am critiquing this without reading others' first:
A region map done in a simple drawing program! Let's see if the region is inspired.
Not sure why this area is called a vault without an actual vault.
The colors make this area seem interesting, but I'm not sure if it really is.
The mountain placement doesn't really make sense except to just be there.
The buildings are nice, but with the scale that is a huge city.
Overall, this is very middling to me. Regions are hard. And kind of a trap. And I don't know that I really get enough interesting things here to warrant me wanting to be here.