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One of my PCs is building a mercenary/adventure company as a side hobby but has not really done anything official with it besides training people. Now due to his and the party's exploits, however people are approaching his second in command and inquiring about their rates and what jobs they take. And what their guild's name actually is. When asked by his second in command about what they should call themselves, he said that he was to organize a mandatory bare-knuckle boxing tournament among the recruits and have each recruit come up with a name choice; whoever won would get theirs selected.
So that means as a DM I am free to name this player run organization any ridiculous/nonsensical name I desire, but yet I'm coming up blank. Based on tradition (previous game) I'm thinking "The Angry Giraffes," but I was hoping for some other options.
What is the most ridiculous name you can think of for a mercenary company?
What is the most ridiculous name you can think of for a mercenary company?
We used the Gamemaster's guide's random generation table to name a mercenary company. Our first attempt yielded "Potent Rainbow Lions".
Debauchery Tea Party?
(Note: I cribbed it from something else. Internet cookie if you know what.)
I'd have gone with DDD, since the in-universe history of the name is great.
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Murderhobos
Peacekeepers
Legitimate Businessmen
Mouth Breathers
Phlem
Not Being Paid enough
The people your mother warned you about
Silent but deadly
Mostly harmless
Duckcloth
Shaft and arrow import/export
Yellow streak
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Marie's Bed and Breakfast - it was a napkin dropped into the lottery box by one of the contenders who doesn't know how to,write. He nabbed it from the place he was staying in before the fight match and claimed it as his entry, hoping no one would notice he can't actually write.
But geeze can he fight.
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The Nipples of Vecna
The Crazy 88's
Nineteen Handaxes
The Bloody Targets
Damage Incorporated
The Furious Feathered Folk
The Distraction
Metal Peacocks
The Greed Elementals
The Lowest Bidders
Government Workers
Well-Armed Bureaucrats
The Shorn Sheep
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Saigon Suicide Squad.
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Killer Queens
Gunpowder Jeopardy
Dynamite Laserbeam
Pink Peckers
So many good options. Keep them coming! I think I may compile them into a numbered list and then make the player who runs the guild roll for it.
The Prancing Minstrels
The Sons of Cowardice
Iomedae's Codpieces
The Celibates
Mom's little helpers
The not so bad band
Stinky Sam's hegemony
Will hack 4 food
The burning cakes
Peppermint tribe (stolen from a Saigon Kick song)
Daily affirmation gang
If there are no casters in the Mercenary group they should be called the Grand Guild of Wizards with their symbol being a crystal ball with a traditional Wizard's hat resting on top of it and a magic staff leaning on it; bonus points if when they attack they say "I cast *insert weapon here*" and say they are the greatest Wizards since they can cast their spells in armor, it always gets through spell resistance, and they can cast their spells all day every day.
If there are no casters in the Mercenary group they should be called the Grand Guild of Wizards with their symbol being a crystal ball with a traditional Wizard's hat resting on top of it and a magic staff leaning on it; bonus points if when they attack they say "I cast *insert weapon here*" and say they are the greatest Wizards since they can cast their spells in armor, it always gets through spell resistance, and they can cast their spells all day every day.
Based on the PC/NPC providing the training I think the group is probably going to end up being almost straight Magi actually, maybe an Eldritch Knight or two in there as well. I think that's what happens when you have a ruthless wizard (PC) and a crazed hobgoblin drill instructor (NPC second in command) swap off for training purposes. Otherwise I would seriously consider doing this.
The Utter Shankers
The Order of the Twig... screw you copyright...
Taigon's Toughs
Have weapon, will travel.
Anything for a buck. (Si quid enim pecuniae.)
The Shrieking Eels
Hornet's Nest
Stone Troll Killers
Splinter Is Coming
The Disoriented Nude Women
Bruce Swordsby and the Rangers
Crossbows & Roses
The Adamantine Ants
Pat Scimitar
The Screaming Queens
Robe and Wizard Hat
Fine Young Ketephys
The Cayden Cailean Project
Magnimartyrs
The Replacements
The Stabby McStabbersons
The Warriors (A Mercenary guild of Mages)
The Butcher Butchers (A guild famous for hunting down another mercenary company known as the butchers).
The Slashers... of Prices.
Have the winner come up, blood knuckled and all, and state, "I will name this after my one true love. We will be the Orudis Blampfortt Company!"
(You can search for Orudis Blampfortt and listen to Patton Oswald’s commentary on the matter.)
-Doomn
This thread is made of win. I haven't laughed this much over a thread in a goodly while.
You could go with the following (Kudos to anyone who gets the references):
- Cranston's Raiders
- Merridani Light Horse
- Grey Death Legion
- Krell Hounds
- McClarron's Armored Cavalry
- Southwind Highlanders
- Skord's Irregulars
- Banzai Band
- Waco's Rangers
- Doggone Dragoons
-Hellbarians
lol. I once had a player with a barbarian character who described himself as a "hellbarian."
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The Disproportionate Response
SeeD
SOLDIER
....sorry, I'm on a Final Fantasy kick lately.
This thread is made of win. I haven't laughed this much over a thread in a goodly while.
You could go with the following (Kudos to anyone who gets the references):
- Cranston's Raiders
- Merridani Light Horse
- Grey Death Legion
- Krell Hounds
- McClarron's Armored Cavalry
- Southwind Highlanders
- Skord's Irregulars
- Banzai Band
- Waco's Rangers
- Doggone Dragoons
lol. I once had a player with a barbarian character who described himself as a "hellbarian."
-Hellbarians
Battlemechs are typically frowned on when you don't ferrocrete roads. They leave a mark.
If the company is made up of large, scarred ugly people I'd go with the Flawless Host.
E.V.I.L.
(Evil Villians is Lemons)
as with every open naming competition
- Hitler did nothing wrong
no but seriously
- Roving Band
- "recruit's name"'s Mercenary Company
- the Dirty Devils
- Circle of Swords
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The Good Red Pickle....if ye be needin' sumfin' real bad, ye need to find yerself a Good Red Pickle!
Righteous Indignation
The Bitter Pill Co. Aye, we be hard ta swallow but our fee...not so much...
Some Action on the Side. Farmer sees a couple gobbos in his field "Honey, I gotta run out for a bit." Her-"Where ya goin'?"... "I need to find Some Action on the Side."....
Short and Sweet....That's describes yer problem after'n ye hire us...(Works great with a shorter character and a face in charge)