Which means it's Pumpy Narkwell Memorial Day.
Rest in peace, Pumpy.
So, I am sick of paperwork...
Know that feeling.
Time for a rant about paperwork?
In triplicate?
And of course nothing goes before the committee without board approval. You'll need to apply for that, of course. Here are all the necessary forms. Any omissions may result in immediate disqualification. Expect a response by land mail in approximately six to eight weeks.
Ok, so updates...there are none. Why do I all of the sudden feel like a Webcomic artist?
At some point we were promised a rant about elves looking down their elegant noses at orcs, which I was looking forward to heckling.
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Well of course I can always rant about those elves and how they "think" they are superior to orcs. they are not. They are mamby bamby whiny little wussies. Orcs have taken on so much in the world and got screwed so many times. I mean originally they were Lawful Evil then 3rd edition comes along and makes them chaotic evil, What is up with that. Anyways we rolled with that right and still kicked butt. Barbarian class you know we rule that elves are like drinking their wine and sticking their houty touty noses in the air at us but really they wish they could have bodies like ours. They wish they could be athletic and strong like us. Beer drinking contest we will win it. Wrestling oh yeah, who wants to be all standing back with a bow anyways? We want to be in the thick of it using our hands getting bloody and the like. Elves no sir they hang back and pluck away not wanting to damage their precious manicure. I bet they could not even lift my axe let alone wield it in a battle. No way Elves are better than Orcs I mean we had all the races against us elves, dwarves, gnomes and humans and we still survive. Talk about tough our god Gruumash well he lost his eye and did you hear him whine about it? No way he kept going he wears it as a badge of honor. If I was to use a sprts anology elves are like baseball players and orcs they are the hockey players grit and determination my friend. You can't beat that with a Greatsword.
GRUUMASH out.....
What Lucky7 said.
Are we allowed right of reply to rants posted here?
Gruumash gets +5 Rant points
What Lucky7 said.
Are we allowed right of reply to rants posted here?
Yes.
Yes.What Lucky7 said.
Are we allowed right of reply to rants posted here?
Smashing. Right.
Ladies, gentlemen and all points inbetween, imagine for a moment that you are a third-rate evil wizard with a pointy black goatee and no social skills. For me, that's not hard at all, but I digress. You have set up a fortress within a convenient distance from a small town where a bunch of 1st level adventurers are waiting in a tavern to come and ream you thoroughly, and ream you they will. However, that doesn't make for much of an adventure on its own, so what do you introduce as a sort of aperitif if you haven't got the smarts to raise zombies?
Orcs, of course! No-one else would be thick enough to work for someone designed to give a bunch of pant-wetters an easily surmountable challenge in exchange for 5cp a day and all the rats they can catch! You'd think they'd have learned by now, but nooooo. Still, it's a living, isn't it, and at the end of the day you can put down your greataxe, go home, put on your lederhosen and get yodelling, which is the only reason you've stayed in the snow-topped mountains of Belkzen.
Which is fine. Elves, after all, have the most sexiest sexy sex goddess of all time on their side and are very tolerant about that sort of thing. They've even kept quiet about the real story behind Gruumsh's conflict with Corellon, which actually involved the loss of a single fake eyelash during a Shirley Bassey impersonator's conference, leading to the big green grumpy-bum going into a millenia-long sulk and being rightly shunned by all sensible people thereafter. Meanwhile the handsome, intelligent, kindly elves nearly destroy all creation four or five times before sodding off to Twinkly Island or the Planet of the Hot Grasshopper Women for a bit of a break while the rest of the world goes to pot in their absence (of course)
Sports analogies are fine, but grit? Determination? Let me tell you this - the only grit orcs have is the absorbent kitty litter they fill their britches with in case of "accidents", and the only determination they've ever displayed is the DETERMINATION TO BE A MASSIVE BUNCH OF SWEATY LYUUUZAAAAHS until the end of time arrives.
I think I've proved my point. Thankyou for your time.
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Just when you think Elves couldn't get their noses any higher than their eartips, one comes along and proves you wrong.
Limey gets +4 rant points.
So I participated in a study where I was given a MRI. MRI's are awful experiences. That's pretty much it.
It's a secret....
>.>
I'm pretty sure I can't have one due to a wire that's fastened to the back of my lower teeth. Unless I want to lose a third of the teeth that remain in that jaw.
Yeah. That and I wouldn't have a lot of teeth left. I already lost six back molars - two on top, four on bottom - to cavities, plus all four wisdom teeth taken out.
Take care of your chompers. Fake teeth are not cheap. Tooth infections can kill you (a handful very nearly did me in).
Believe you me, I never noticed a more drastic difference between the amount of pain before and after the surgery to remove those ten teeth, especially the cavity-ridden ones. I was downing six Excedrin a day, plus two Tylenol PM every night (the caffeine in the Excedrin was causing me to lose sleep just as much as the pain, I learned a few months before the surgery, and swapped meds), which in total put me riding right on the edge of "maximum amount of painkillers you should take per day", and still spending the majority of any day in at least minor agony. Eating was extremely difficult unless food was soft or liquid. Any temperature variance from room temperature - whether hot or cold - was painful.
After the surgery and the week and a half following of being on penicillin and hydrocodone, I've only needed two or three Tylenol a day, and quite often less or even none - a bit more recently because the surgery caused me to have some on-going sinus pain and I've been banned from Sudafed by my doctor due to other issues. But just for the first few days after getting off the prescription meds, it was amazing just the difference between being constantly in pain and not.
O.O Wow, that totally sucks.
Good to hear it's (mostly) been sorted out. That does sound agonising.
It is. All of my chompers had to come out (mostly due to my being an idiot about taking care of my teeth, combined with being dirt grubbing poor for a good while).
I was in much the same situation as Turin, pretty much. Thankfully I got them before the whole lot needed to be scrapped, and only lost the bunch at the back. All the rest got fixed with fillings, and two that need crowns (which I'll be getting sometime this year).
You should rant about losing teeth.
I could but I'm pretty happy I lost them. Most of them didn't even resemble teeth anymore. They were closer in shape to melted slag >_>
Rant about Dentistry?
I'm guessing that is a no.
Such rants require a certain degree of recollection of memories normally left discarded on the ashbin of personal history.
Having said that ... those rants would also be entertaining to scribble.
That was a bad rant. No f*~$ing expletives.
lucky7 gets 0 Rant Points.
For those of you keeping score at home that's
Gruumash with 5 Rant Points
Limey Longears with 4 Rant Points
and lucky7 with 0 Rant Points.
I'm sure there are others but I have forgotten them...
That's okay because the points don't matter.
Way to spoil my fun. :(
So, I'm working on this electronic paperwork (isn't that an oxymoron) that is ridiculously long and when I tried to save it to send it off...it did not save and I lost all my progress. So, with that said...RANT INCOMING!!!!
Also, I'm touched by lucky7's kind words and am awarding him 1 Rant point. Also Also, I haven't ranted on this page yet...
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Welcome back rant fanatics! This rant is about Stupidity replacing common sense. Let me start this rant by ranting about so called “common sense”. When I was growing up, several people would tell me that I was smart but that I lacked “common sense”. My first thought was “what the (expletive deleted) does that mean?” Seriously, what is “common sense”? A common sense of things or a sense of all things common? It wasn't until I asked someone that I realized that so-called “common sense” isn't that common anymore. After I asked what was “common sense” I received the following response “common sense is well just that”. I seriously wanted to (expletive deleted) punch that guy in the (expletive deleted) face. Basically so-called “common sense” is just knowing things that supposedly (expletive deleted) everyone is supposed to know. Things like don’t put your hand on a hot stove and to not put pennies on railroad tracks or some (expletive deleted). Anyways, this (expletive deleted) was a real pain in my (expletive deleted) because people kept using it as a backhanded compliment, “You are smart but you have no common sense”. Well you know what, (expletive deleted) all of these people with their stupid (expletive deleted) comments about (expletive deleted) common (expletive deleted) sense. Alright…time to get on topic I suppose. Stupidity is an unfortunate trait in humans. Just watch YouTube for longer than 2 minutes and you’ll see what I’m talking about. On top of that you have several technology advances that are pretty much making us all very lazy. Why learn to spell when you have spell check? Why learn math when you have a computer who can manage your finances better than you ever could. Really people, we are one advance away from living in the (expletive deleted) Matrix. Although personally, I wouldn't mind because then I could be all like “wow, my life inside this program is (expletive deleted) useless but at least I’m being useful for some purpose out there”. To sum up, people are stupid, “common sense” isn't and rant (expletive deleted) over.
Tune in next time when I rant about…Co-workers. Wait a (expletive deleted) minute? Let’s see, I've ranted about work and bosses…well might as well go for the hat trick or some other (expletive deleted) sports metaphor.
Remaining rants before I go all freeform:
Co-workers
Cow orcers
Produce bags (as suggested by Mrs. JMD031)
Hmm, I have a favorite but no new posts...
That was me. I give this rant four stars. And my sympathies.