The Official JMD031 Rant Thread


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Interrupts rant to state over 1000 posts!!! Woot!!


HUZZAH!!!!

Silver Crusade

...yay... *Huddles over in corner to continue existential crisis*

Liberty's Edge

You okay lucky?


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He is just upset that I have blown his mind with concept of Rant Points and how he owes me two of them.

Silver Crusade

No hope...no hope...


Yesssss. Feed me with your suffering.


Let's get back to the rant.


Let's. Possibly a nice 'French cuddle' from Jean-Paul Sartre would sort out Lucky7, if Simone'll leave him alone for five bloody minutes.


Simone, my dear, leave those schoolgirls alone...


Yes please let's get back to rants here gents. And enough of the jean-Paul Sartre and his devious ways. I have my eye on you Jean Paul I know what you are capable of. I know the truth behind your attempts to bring down the plutocrats, aristocrats and royalty in general and I will not have it. You hear me young man? I WILL NOT HAVE IT. Enough of this silly rise of the common man. We were born to rule it is in our blood. We will continue to rule and the classes will stay right where they are thank you very much. With me and my counter parts up at the top. .... These are my words so spoken by the true blue blooded Plutocat.


WHY ISN'T THERE A NEW PART TO THE RANT?


Because:
We're all so full of RAMJET FACEBLASTER WITH VITAMIN B12 and totally psyched out for Ultimate Cage-Fighting On Skis that there's no time left for rantin'. I would have thought, given that JMD031 is Mythic, that he could have just snapped his fingers and made one appear. A half vampiric one with eyes that shoot teeth that shoot even bigger teeth and the teeth are made of sharks and the sharks are made of werewolves and the werewolves are made of fire, but by the looks of things he's too busy
making meatloaf in his hat, which clearly

I'm preparing a rant about 4e clerics which isn't ready yet 'cause I didn't have any beer at the weekend.


*mumble grumble*

I get the hint. I'll start working on my own rant.


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Just a post to say that I'm still working on it.


Ok, so I'm finding that I'm having a little snag in the production of new rants. I'm going to post a bigger post later about it (I know, I could be using that time to make a rant but whatevers) and in the mean time will keep everyone updated.


Life happens. S'ok.


Ok, so here is the deal. I've been like SUPER busy the past couple of weeks. But beyond that, I've not been inspired to write a new rant. As much as I didn't like the Rant List, I kind of feel like I need it to keep my creative juices flowing. I have decided to reinstitute the Rant List but with the following changes: no more than 5 topics at a time, when a topic becomes "untopical" it will be removed from the list to allow for more space, and at least one rant from me per page of this thread.

Now all I need are topics. The top 5 make the list.


Where are all of my Rant Fans? Did the hiatus scare them away?


Writer's block
Bacon
Outdated internet memes
Stupid bloodsucking critters
Athlete's foot

Silver Crusade

Mr. Mythic JMD031, how many licks does it take to get to the Tootsie Roll center of a Tootsie Pop?


Bloodsucking critters. I hate mosquitos with a passion.


Bbbbbbbzzzzzzzzz.......


GO AWAY.


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Sissyl wrote:

Writer's block

Bacon
Outdated internet memes
Stupid bloodsucking critters
Athlete's foot

Are these suggestions for rants, or reasons you haven't been posting?


lucky7 wrote:
Mr. Mythic JMD031, how many licks does it take to get to the Tootsie Roll center of a Tootsie Pop?

Interesting story, this was the first question I asked James Jacobs in the Ask James Jacobs all your Questions thread. I believe the answer is variable depending on whether you are talking about a Human tongue or a Froghemoth one.


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Sissyl wrote:

Writer's block

Bacon
Outdated internet memes
Stupid bloodsucking critters
Athlete's foot

Approved!


Family getting overbearing on you because of a sibling's screwup

Dark Archive

3 people marked this as a favorite.
Pathfinder Adventure, Adventure Path Subscriber

Light Pollution why do we have so many darn lights ? I mean why can't we just have some nice darkness and allow for the stars to be seen more in the cities? What is the story here? Are people that afraid of the dark can't we cut back? All those street lamps and stuff. While we are at it we have way too many people in the world too. Can't we start shipping them off to other planets already? Lets start space exploration already and start colonizing others spots and the like. More money towards exploring beyond the planet I think is in order and helping preserve our own planet.


Forget space exploration - WHAT ABOUT COLONISING THE HOLLOW EARTH?


Limeylongears wrote:
Forget space exploration - WHAT ABOUT CONQUERING THE HOLLOW EARTH?

Fixed that for you.

;)


HUZZAH!


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Gruumash . wrote:
Light Pollution why do we have so many darn lights ? I mean why can't we just have some nice darkness and allow for the stars to be seen more in the cities? What is the story here? Are people that afraid of the dark can't we cut back? All those street lamps and stuff. While we are at it we have way too many people in the world too. Can't we start shipping them off to other planets already? Lets start space exploration already and start colonizing others spots and the like. More money towards exploring beyond the planet I think is in order and helping preserve our own planet.

Since no one (not even me...) has posted a rant in a while, this rant gets +1 Rant point.

Silver Crusade

I'm at -2, through no fault of my own. Mythic J_____


Actually, you are at -2 because of your rant, therefore, I would say it is entirely your fault.


Not that I'm in any position to contradict our Mythic Overlord, but isn't lucky7 at -2 because of a lack of rants? EDIT: No, he isn't. I am very, very wrong and very, very ashamed. Would it help if he changed his name to ranty7 ?

Or could someone else lend him rant points, to be paid back in blood/treasure at some unspecified point in future?


Currently working on a rant. Which isn't like the last time I said I was working on a rant. I actually have something typed out. So, be expecting that. Soonish. Like perhaps sometime today. Definitely in the near future. That is to say that the rant will be posted at some point before the end of this day. That's EST not GMT. Have you gotten the point yet? Perhaps I could make more comments about when it will be posted. Of course this will inevitably delay the rant. Ok, I'm just going to get back to it.


Turns out later is.....NOW!

Rant incoming!


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Welcome back rant fans! I know I haven’t done one of these in a long time but I’m planning on (expletive deleted) fixing that right now. This rant is about Bacon. Now I’m sure most of you are thinking “what’s not to love about Bacon?” The only problem is that I don’t like Bacon. Yes, you heard right, I don’t (expletive deleted) like Bacon. Based on this I’ve been called a Communist and Un-American. Well those people can kiss my (expletive deleted) while choking on a (expletive deleted) (expletive deleted). [Hey be nice, these people are just expressing their opinion…much like you are doing here.] What the (expletive deleted) was that? Hmm, well, back to the rant. Anyways, to say that I completely hate Bacon is wrong I just don’t like Bacon on like everything. The way I like to eat Bacon is probably the most unhealthy way to eat bacon and that is yet another reason why I don’t eat a lot of Bacon. Lots of people like to eat crispy Bacon, but I like my Bacon dripping with grease. See? Really (expletive deleted) unhealthy. [That might be why you used to be really fat.] Ok, who the (expletive deleted) said that? [I did…which is to say, you did. Look it’s complicated. You wouldn’t understand.] Oh my (expletive deleted) lord. Its finally happened. I’ve lost my mind. Ok, maybe I’ll just ignore it and it will go away. Where was I? [You were talking about how you like to eat Bacon in the most unhealthy way possible.] Right, thanks. [No problem.] So anyways, Bacon is just “alright” and it really (expletive deleted) me off that everyone makes such a big deal about it. It’s just meat from a pig, it’s not (expletive deleted) the food of the Gods or something like that. [See, this is what most people argue. That Bacon is in fact the Food of the Gods.] Ok, enough, what the (expletive deleted) is going on? [I’m glad you finally asked. See, you’ve been doing the whole “rhetorical” question thing so much that you’ve finally decided to answer yourself. It’s kind of like that YouTube video you were watching where a guy has a “conversation” with himself about movies and what not.] I see. And came up with this all on my own? [Well, that video did inspire you, but for the most part yes.] Uh-huh, but that doesn’t explain how I didn’t know I was going to do that. What now Mr. (expletive deleted) smarty-pants? [That’s simple. You are an idiot.] Hmm, except if you are also me, that would make you an idiot as well. [Precisely. No wait, that’s not right. Ok, if I’m you and you are me and I am you………*poofs out of existence*] There, now where was I? Oh yeah, Bacon. It’s alright, I guess. It’s just not for me. And if you think that because I don’t prefer Bacon I’m a (expletive deleted) Communist or what not, well that’s ok. My only response to you is “go (expletive deleted) yourself!”. Rant over.

Tune in next time when I rant about…(expletive deleted) I skipped one. I apparently will be ranting about “Writer’s Block”. Boy, won’t that be topical. As well as a (expletive deleted) laugh riot. I mean don’t get me started on…


New list!

Writer's block
Outdated internet memes
Stupid bloodsucking critters
Athlete's foot
How many licks does it take to get to the Tootsie Roll center of a Tootsie Pop?

It's good to be back.


Hey man, I can respect that. I get the same reaction when I tell people I don't like beans in my chili.

Silver Crusade

Here's my rant about Batfleck:

Nothing. I don't really MIND the idea. haven't seen him do anything, so I don't know.

Next up: Man of Steel!


This is a non-rant. You get no Rant Points. You are lucky I don't take more.

Silver Crusade

How do you take them?


He's Mythic/It's a class feature/Because... MAGIC!!. You don't ask smart-arse questions about Smite Evil or Sneak Attack, do you?

I'm sorry to have to be harsh with you, lucky7, but if you put the effort into ranting that you put into making excuses for not ranting, you'd be drowning in points right now.

Silver Crusade

Pathfinder Adventure, Adventure Path, Companion, Lost Omens, Rulebook, Starfinder Adventure Path, Starfinder Roleplaying Game, Starfinder Society Subscriber
Orthos wrote:
Hey man, I can respect that. I get the same reaction when I tell people I don't like beans in my chili.

You too? I love chili, when it's meat and spices and not just beans in red sauce. I hate beans.


I make two different, yet delicious, kinds of chili. Both use beans. One is more traditional, I suppose, ground beef with onions, tomatoes, and beans in tomato juice. The other is chunks of beef with onions, jalapenos, and beans in beef broth. I have had beanless chili before, but to me it doesn't seem right.


lucky7 wrote:

Here's my rant about Batfleck:

Nothing. I don't really MIND the idea. haven't seen him do anything, so I don't know.

My rant on Ben Affleck as Batman:

Who [expletive deleted]ing cares?!? He may be good at it, he may suck the [expletive deleted]ing big one, or he may be completely forgettable, but it really doesn't matter one [expletive deleted]ing bit! I stay away from discussions about these sorts of things online as a general rule, but some people in one of my gaming groups were discussing it a while back and both seemed to think he was going to ruin the franchise. Not happening. If the Batman movie franchise could survive nipples on the suit, Ahnold and Jim Carrey as bad guys, and Adam [expletive deleted]ing West, I think it can handle Affleck. And if it doesn't, good! I won't have to avoid yet another movie about a "superhero" I've never had any interest in. So, rock on Batfleck! Do your worst and, as for your detractors, [expletive deleted] 'em!


Besides, I'm Batman. Says so right in my name.


Rysky wrote:
Orthos wrote:
Hey man, I can respect that. I get the same reaction when I tell people I don't like beans in my chili.
You too? I love chili, when it's meat and spices and not just beans in red sauce. I hate beans.

AMEN. I was born and raised in Texas, and apparently it's only in Texas where "chili" is explicitly different from "chili beans/chili with beans". So I grew up on "chili" meaning "meat and spices in sauce" and "chili beans" being "chili with beans".

Soon as I moved to Arizona, and now living in Tennessee, I've learned that everywhere else apparently "chili" implies that it has beans in it, and you specifically have to request "chili with no beans" everywhere else.

Which IMNSHO is utterly ridonkulous because it's so much easier to add something extra if someone wants it than to remove it once it's in there if they don't. I run into that problem at restaurants all the time with not just beans but also onions and peppers, especially at Mexican places that think you have to stuff every dish to the gills with onions. I love Mexican food but I hate onions (which, in addition to me hating the taste, are the one food that for some reason my acid reflux medicine just can't handle, onions will give me heartburn every time whether I've taken the meds or not).

So yeah, internet fistbump to fellow lover of chili, hater of beans.

EDIT: Eh halfway decent morning minirant, I'm okay with this.

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