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I have not read the preceding posts, due to being quite busy in life at the moment. Sadly, I have to deal with more immediate concerns at the moment.
However, I don't remember seeing this mentioned earlier, and I apologize if it was. But, a Kansas bill is effectively trying to sneak through segregation legislation that would allow for businesses and employees at all level, from government on down, to deny people service simply because of their sexual orientation. All they have to do is claim religious beliefs, and even if they're a government employee they can deny service.
So, it seems a new tactic is being tried... specifically, attempting to pit freedom of religion from the First Amendment against people's sexual orientation. And it definitely would not take much to expand this to trans people and those who are bi.
Sadly, there is not ONE but TWO bills in my state legislature right now to do the same thing. One in the house and one in the senate. I am attending and speaking at a Rally tomorrow against them
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Sadly, there is not ONE but TWO bills in my state legislature right now to do the same thing. One in the house and one in the senate. I am attending and speaking at a Rally tomorrow against themI have not read the preceding posts, due to being quite busy in life at the moment. Sadly, I have to deal with more immediate concerns at the moment.
However, I don't remember seeing this mentioned earlier, and I apologize if it was. But, a Kansas bill is effectively trying to sneak through segregation legislation that would allow for businesses and employees at all level, from government on down, to deny people service simply because of their sexual orientation. All they have to do is claim religious beliefs, and even if they're a government employee they can deny service.
So, it seems a new tactic is being tried... specifically, attempting to pit freedom of religion from the First Amendment against people's sexual orientation. And it definitely would not take much to expand this to trans people and those who are bi.
Good luck, hope the rally goes well.
That's already been stopped. By the Republicans in the Kansas Senate, apparently.I have not read the preceding posts, due to being quite busy in life at the moment. Sadly, I have to deal with more immediate concerns at the moment.
However, I don't remember seeing this mentioned earlier, and I apologize if it was. But, a Kansas bill is effectively trying to sneak through segregation legislation that would allow for businesses and employees at all level, from government on down, to deny people service simply because of their sexual orientation. All they have to do is claim religious beliefs, and even if they're a government employee they can deny service.
So, it seems a new tactic is being tried... specifically, attempting to pit freedom of religion from the First Amendment against people's sexual orientation. And it definitely would not take much to expand this to trans people and those who are bi.
Thank goodness it's been stopped.
I have to wonder... if there were such a law where I was... since discriminating against LGBT persons is against my religion, could I sue someone firing me for religious reasons as a violation of MY freedom of religion?
That's the thing that drives me crazy. The people who say it's "religious freedom" that should drive anti LGBT laws conveniently ignore all the religious groups that support LGBT rights, perform same sex marriages, etc. (and there are increasing numbers of those). They never seem to fight for OUR religious rights along with their own.
And of course what individuals practice privately should not affect a public organization's or government's hiring policy. (There are fortunately and unfortunately grey areas with religious organizations.)
Suing for wrongful dismissal is common in some fields.
Just watched the pilot for Transparent and it seemed okay, from my perspective, in terms of the trans material.
I can assure everyone that the kobold religion dedicated to the destruction of garden gnomes is more or less fictional. Sorry for the lack of clarity. Any relations to real-world religions are both coincidental and very, very confusing. ;)
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^_^ I think you're good, Kobold Cleaver.
I've heard transparent is a kind of by-the-numbers series as far as it's pilot is concerned.
Also, there is no way that the Kansas law would have held up in any reputable court of law. Denying anyone public services like police, fire, and DMV would set civil rights in this country back at least 50 years and I can't imagine enough people would actually want to be on that side of a such a law, especially with midterm elections coming up.
Also, there is no way that the Kansas law would have held up in any reputable court of law. Denying anyone public services like police, fire, and DMV would set civil rights in this country back at least 50 years and I can't imagine enough people would actually want to be on that side of a such a law, especially with midterm elections coming up.
My suspicion is that the backers want the law struck down by a court, so they have an issue in the next campaign. they also want to see it go to the Supreme court, to add to a narrative of "Judiciary out of control".
I've heard transparent is a kind of by-the-numbers series as far as it's pilot is concerned.
That's pretty much correct. It's basically 30 minutes of an indie film. And pretty straightforward in terms of the trans elements. Which aren't all that many, actually, as the show is as much about Maura's three adult children as it is about her.
Edit to add: An article on the show, and on trans representation in general, from over at Original Plumbing (which is a magazine focused on the lives of trans men).
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I want to start off my first post here by saying that I ab-so-lutely love this thread. I've been reading it since I first joined the forums and it's amazing. I've learned so much, thought about things that I, most likely, would never have been exposed to otherwise, and the sense of community here just warms my heart. :D I tip my hat to the posters who've had the courage to ask honest, potentially difficult, questions, such as KC and Kryz, that I'd have never been able to post, despite being incredibly curious about. And I raise a glass to the amazing folks who've responded with patience, understanding, and stellar info, such as KSF and Lissa, that I've certainly enjoyed reading.
Now, to what actually made me finally post ;
To make up another silly example, despite the social pressures to conform to gender norms and, perhaps, a slow expansion of trans issues into public consciousness, I haven’t heard of many cis people who, having been rebuked with the idea that they should be “a proper woman” or “a real man,” sought professional care to make sure they weren’t really transI've been rebuked for not being ladylike or girlish enough if that's what you mean, especially in my youth, but I haven't felt the need to seek out professional care on that front no, as I've largely been fairly certain the problem is the people rebuking me. I am who I am.
While I want to throw my lot entirely in with DQ in the great post this quote came from, I'm just focusing down here. In relation to the scenario you put forward, to date, I have been considered a cis-het, as I have seen it shorthanded elsewhere. I, like DQ, have been rebuked due to my behaviour not matching my outward gender. I came to accept phrases such as "That is such a woman, and LordSynos, thing." Unlike DQ, however, I have not had the security in my sense of self to deal with what was a most unusual internal conflict that those rebukes, and the resulting soul searching they encouraged, provoked. And I have been to a professional over whether I'm actually trans*. Now, for clarification, I come from a country where trans* individuals are still kinda invisible. Like the States, we're getting better, but my only awareness of trans* life, issues, terminology, etc, comes pretty much solely from these forums. So I didn't seek professional care to make sure I wasn't really trans*, as you put it. I went to professional care because I didn't match what people expected of me due to my gender and I wasn't sure if something was wrong with my head, or my body. And it was mostly pointless, to be honest. I've gotten far more insight from reading this thread than I ever did from so called "professionals". Now, 9 days out of 10, I still consider myself a cis-het. There's always that 10th day, but I've mostly made peace with myself. So, silly example made real life experience. That said, my life is a soap opera, so I may not be the best example. :P
Thanks for chiming in, LordSynos. If it’s not too personal a question, would you mind elaborating on your experience? What I understood from your post was that you didn’t have much exposure to the terminology, so you saw a professional about whether you’re actually trans*, as you put it, but not to make sure you’re not really trans*, with, perhaps, a rather firmer idea of what being trans* might mean. Is that right? If you’ve come to think of it in those terms, I would say that the issue of trans*-ness is the important part, rather than framing it in terms of being or not-being. (I.e., whether we’re trying to decide if something is X or whether it is not-X, we’re still talking about its X-ness. Sorry, I’m reading a scholastic text right now, so the method of argumentation is getting into my head.) Fair enough, though, about whether some examples really are silly; thanks for broadening my awareness of the ways people of various identities approach thinking about sex and gender.
On the whole professional care thing, I think I should add a comment. My choice of words certainly betrays the fact that I’m writing from the First World, and from a certain class. I mean, I know there are people in my part of the world too who transition on their own, without formally-trained therapeutic support and with hormones that they buy off the street, but for my silly example I thought most people would probably better relate to the question of how one might respond to question(ing)s of one’s gender by raising the possibility of guided exploration rather than thinking about it on one’s own, however seriously and productively, and then abruptly changing gender presentation and buying estrogen or testosterone from the dealer in the local shady alley.
It says a lot about my assumptions as a bourgeoise in a large North American city, but I was trying for something more vivid than, “Since anyone can struggle against gender norms (e.g., being “a proper woman” or “a real man”), sometimes almost constantly or desperately, why don’t more people seriously consider the possibility of their being trans, especially as awareness of trans issues slowly starts to spread?” The trivial answer is that they aren’t trans, but I wonder if we might explore the differences in how they and trans people might reflect on their sex and gender identities.
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... and buying estrogen or testosterone from the dealer in the local shady alley.
Just a clarification that that generally means via the internet from Canada or some other first world nation for cheaper than equivalent noncovered meds here. It's not really all that shady.
I seem to be burying myself deeper and deeper. I keep forgetting that that's a thing. In my circles in Canada, it tends to be seen as not quite done to go through channels other than public health care or insurance from an employer, which has to compete. The people I've met and the literature I've seen suggest that here the people who prefer to self-medicate tend to be in more precarious situations - who feel they can't trust the system to give them appropriate care, or who can't access it to get the help they need.
Sigh. I suppose I should put on "Uptown Girl" and meditate penitently on my tendency to make unfounded assumptions from my evil lair in Soviet Canuckistan. :)
Edited to add: If I'm getting on anyone's nerves, please let me know and I'll keep quiet for a bit and try learn a bit more before spouting off.
In my circles in Canada, it tends to be seen as not quite done to go through channels other than public health care or insurance from an employer, which has to compete.
It's a bit different in the U.S., where public health care generally won't help, so that channel isn't avaliable. And insurance coverage is still rare, depending on where you live and who you work for. For example, I've got a tiny bit of coverage, which I cling to, but it won't cover much beyond T-blockers, doctors visits and blood tests - enough to keep HRT going, but not for anything else.
I think the self-medicating route is potentially dangerous, and I wouldn't recommend it, but I understand why people do it, and wouldn't judge those who do go that route, or those who did. Others on the board have more experience with it, and can speak to the issue better.
And from my perspective, no need to apologize. We all have different experiences, and given how all-consuming those can be sometimes, it's easy to occasionally forget the different circumstances that others face.
I wonder if this gender reassignment surgery (or whatever it's called) is free on the National Health in the UK. If I had to guess, I would say that it was free.
My understanding is there's a lot of hoops you have to jump through in order to get to it. A lot of gatekeeping. I've heard you have to live as your target gender for a year before they'll prescribe hormones, which seems cruel. Not sure if that is still in place.
If I'm not misremembering, this series of articles in the Guardian a few years back, by a woman named Juliet Jacques, describes her transition within the UK medical system.
There's a woman named Christine Burns who is involved in improving medical care for trans people in the UK. You could probably seek out interviews with her for more info. I know she does radio and other interviews from time to time.
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I think the self-medicating route is potentially dangerous, and I wouldn't recommend it, but I understand why people do it, and wouldn't judge those who do go that route, or those who did. Others on the board have more experience with it, and can speak to the issue better.
Yeah. I wouldn't recommend it but if you do go that route you can go to a doctor and the standards of care state that must treat you if your only other alternative is self-medication. Not to say that they won't turn you down but most doctors will do the right thing.
I wonder if this gender reassignment surgery (or whatever it's called) is free on the National Health in the UK. If I had to guess, I would say that it was free.
If I remember correctly, it is but it requires a lot of hoops to jump through. Similarly, depending on where you are, the Canadian public health system has a lot of required hoops to jump through as well including a hyperfeminine appearance. I've had a few friends jump through those hoops and it took more than a year or two and there were a lot complaints.
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While I was growing up I was amazed that the country that had this as their defining statement ever had slavery. But it is unreasonable to expect perfection. It is simply our job as a society to move toward perfection. Even though we never expect to be perfect, the struggle toward it makes us better and better, and that is enough.It was somewhat contentious, even in it's time but because of the problems of passing the Declaration of Independence which basically required not just a majority but a unilateral commitment from each of the colonial states. It was a statement of war against the King and the southern states wouldn't sign without the express promise of slavery not being outlawed. Much of the northern and midatlantic had already abolished slavery, though many slaves still existed in the north by good old boys looking the other way. One of the few constitutional clauses that couldn't be ammended was the requirement that no laws hindering slavery would be passed federally until sometime in the early 1800's.
The institution never quite caught on so well in New England as it did in the South, for the obvious reason that the South had the prime tobacco land. Outside the southern colonies, slavery also did pretty well in New York and New Jersey. New Jersey still had 16 slaves on the books due to its very gradual emancipation law in 1860. They didn't even pass that law until 1804.
Those laws left lots of slaves in place, to serve a term before freedom and liable to be sold off into a jurisdiction with more slavery-friendly laws before their freedom dates came. Between legal cutoff dates and mandatory service to a certain age, most states outside New England still had residual and superannuated slaves up until the 1840s when separate legislation freed the lot.
This article has been making the rounds today.
Edit to add: Looks like the language filter is blocking the link, since it's from B**ch Magazine. Once you open it, change the "/#@#$" in the URL to "itch" to get at the article.
It's a somewhat important article, I think, and worth a read.
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So I spoke at an LGBT rally against the awful bill I mentioned the other night. I was so very nervous prior to doing it, being my first time public speaking, and truly thought that I stumbled my way through it. Then I get done and people start coming up to me and telling me how amazing my speech was, and how well I did.
So I spoke at an LGBT rally against the awful bill I mentioned the other night. I was so very nervous prior to doing it, being my first time public speaking, and truly thought that I stumbled my way through it. Then I get done and people start coming up to me and telling me how amazing my speech was, and how well I did.
Awesome! Congrats, Cori.
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So I spoke at an LGBT rally against the awful bill I mentioned the other night. I was so very nervous prior to doing it, being my first time public speaking, and truly thought that I stumbled my way through it. Then I get done and people start coming up to me and telling me how amazing my speech was, and how well I did.
Congratulations. ^_^ Always a bit scary standing up in front of a bunch of people. Well done.
Just think of it as DMing without the screen and you'll do fine. Or rather, I'm sure you already did quite well!
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Just think of it as DMing without the screen and you'll do fine. Or rather, I'm sure you already did quite well!
I fell off the back of the stage once. That nearly completely cured my public speaking problems. I'm still really introverted but I can speak. =) Once you do something so embarrassing that it's difficult to think of something more embarrassing you can do, you stop worrying about it so much. Or maybe it was the head bump.
I wonder if this gender reassignment surgery (or whatever it's called) is free on the National Health in the UK. If I had to guess, I would say that it was free.
I believe that you can get it done for free, but you need to live openly as a person of the desired gender for at least two years.
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Thanks for chiming in, LordSynos. If it’s not too personal a question, would you mind elaborating on your experience? What I understood from your post was that you didn’t have much exposure to the terminology, so you saw a professional about whether you’re actually trans*, as you put it, but not to make sure you’re not really trans*, with, perhaps, a rather firmer idea of what being trans* might mean. Is that right? If you’ve come to think of it in those terms, I would say that the issue of trans*-ness is the important part, rather than framing it in terms of being or not-being. (I.e., whether we’re trying to decide if something is X or whether it is not-X, we’re still talking about its X-ness. Sorry, I’m reading a scholastic text right now, so the method of argumentation is getting into my head.) Fair enough, though, about whether some examples really are silly; thanks for broadening my awareness of the ways people of various identities approach thinking about sex and gender.
Note : I'm not 100% clear on what exactly triggers are, but I have a vague understanding of the concept at this point, and I fear my own story/experience, and the terms I use during my detailing of it, may constitute such for some. I am not certain, mind you, but I do concern myself with the well being of others, and hence have chosen to spoiler my tale, so that those who choose to avoid such things can protect themselves. If I am mistaken, please correct me, so I may be more educated and well informed going forward.
I didn't really have much exposure to anything trans* before joining these boards (forums), maybe two years ago now? Like, not just the terminology, but even the concept. The idea, or the fact rather, that there were people whose physically displayed gender did not match their internal mental gender, not by choice (a la cross-dressing or the like [RNG, I hope I didn't offend someone there]) but by fault of the biological processes that create our form during gestation. So, I can't say I went to a professional to make sure I wasn't really trans*, as it is hard to make sure you're not something that you don't know exists, if you hear what I'm saying? I went to make sure I was "right", as I saw it. That my brain was producing the right chemicals to make my body match who I was as a person. So, in terms of the more educated vocabulary I have now, I began to wonder if I could be trans*, and went to a professional to "correct" myself and make sure I was cis-gendered, one way or another. Of course, with my more educated vocabulary comes more informed reasoning, and I see that for the awful way to view trans* that it is. But it is what it was.
So, I went to my GP, or General Practitioner, my medical doctor, to get him to run blood tests or whatnot, to discover if there was, in fact, some chemical imbalance which medicine could correct. While I had never questioned the tendencies I had which inspired others to rebuke my lack of masculinity until I faced such rebukes, I then found my possession of such tendencies upsetting. If they could be blamed on some chemical imbalance which could be corrected, I could be "normal" again, and would not face such rebukes. Of course, such things are not that simple in reality, but when faced with a crisis of self, such a simple idea/solution was quite appealing. My doctor, bless his heart, being the elderly, old school fellow that he was, found some humour in the idea, and waved off my concerns, citing prior medical issues I had brought to him (which only really addressed my concerns if one lived in a world of black-and-white dichotomies). It wasn't until a few years later, when a polyamorous lass I dated directed me to my college's free counseling service, that I was able to have a proper discourse. Even then, bi-polar was discussed. Multiple personality disorders were discussed. No mention was made of trans*. I was given a temporary prescription for depression medicine and that was that.
I, eventually, came to accept that I was different. Am different. And who cares, really? Aren't we all different, in our own ways? With time, my circle of friends became much smaller, and such rebukes ceased to be a thing. I am who I am, and there's not a person who can tell me I'm wrong for being such. So what if I'm not a "masculine male"? I'm me and that's all I want to be. There's no one I'd rather be. Er, I'm kinda rambling at this stage. Anyways, hope that answers your query. :)
Edited to add: If I'm getting on anyone's nerves, please let me know and I'll keep quiet for a bit and try learn a bit more before spouting off.
You're certainly not getting on mine. I enjoy the discourse, and engaging on these things that I can't engage with anyone in meat space on. But I do extend the same offer to others, to let me know if I try the patience of others. I do see myself as somewhat of a guest here, and I'd hate to be trouble for my gracious hosts. :)
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Thanks; I’ve just realized that I’ve been making some fairly dogmatic statements without being sufficiently explicit as to where I’m coming from, and without distinguishing clearly enough when I’m being deliberately extreme. I also know that I can be a bit princess-y, so I’ll try to rein that in.
Thanks too for offering more details about your story, I think I see what you mean more clearly now. I posted some time ago about my own experience of lacking vocabulary for trans* issues: until I started university, since nobody I knew talked about such things, my own feelings stayed vague and I assumed my discomfort with my assigned sex and gender wasn’t exceptional, but that other people were just usually better able to carve out a comfortable space for themselves within gender norms. Once I was able to think about what I felt in terms of being trans*, though, I couldn’t brush it aside anymore, but it kept coming back in those terms.
I guess I'm still a bit preoccupied by Kobold Cleaver's suggestion that "It's looking like transsexuality is a bit of a 'If you have to ask, you probably aren't' shebang." I think I might prefer something like a mindful "So what are you going to do about it," if that makes sense. That is, if you have to ask, and even if you're just thinking about it, in what direction is it tending? I'd like to relate that to the earlier discussion of the elusive sense of wrongness that is so often useful in discussing how it feels to be transsexual, but I haven't thought of how I'd do it, really. If I were a Zen Buddhist I might have been able to think of an apposite koan, but alas!
This article has been making the rounds today.
Edit to add: Looks like the language filter is blocking the link, since it's from B**ch Magazine. Once you open it, change the "/#@#$" in the URL to "itch" to get at the article.
It's a somewhat important article, I think, and worth a read.
I love [Rhymes-with-witch] Magazine! Less effusively, I think that article's point about the difficulties of deciding whether to participate in what can easily turn into vicious polemic (to put it mildly) is both interesting and troubling. After all, there's only so much vitriol that a person can cope with, especially depending on what else they need to do to just get on with the business of living.
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So I spoke at an LGBT rally against the awful bill I mentioned the other night. I was so very nervous prior to doing it, being my first time public speaking, and truly thought that I stumbled my way through it. Then I get done and people start coming up to me and telling me how amazing my speech was, and how well I did.
Thank you for putting yourself out there for the betterment of the whole community, Cori!
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Anyways, thanks, Lissa and Kryzbyn, that information was really insightful. I think it was what I was looking for, anyways. It's looking like transsexuality is a bit of a "If you have to ask, you probably aren't" shebang.
Oh, I don't think it's a "If you have to ask, you probably aren't" situation. A lot of people don't realize the concept is even possible, or have been taught since a young age that the idea is disgusting and freakish. I think it's more a situation of "If you have to ask, then you should be cautious."
Let me clarify. It sounds like, if you haven't grown up with the feeling of wrongness, it's not transsexuality.
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Let me clarify. It sounds like, if you haven't grown up with the feeling of wrongness, it's not transsexuality.
I'm hesitant to dictate anyone's identity with such a simple qualifier. Depression and disassociation are certainly common traits, but I don't think they're a litmus test.
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Let me clarify. It sounds like, if you haven't grown up with the feeling of wrongness, it's not transsexuality.
Not necessarily. Some people suppress it for quite a long time, or don't figure it out until later in life.
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Not necessarily. Some people suppress it for quite a long time, or don't figure it out until later in life.
The power of the mind to repress is pretty incredible especially if you can find outlets that either explain things away or things that really enjoy that are traditionally masculine(or feminine for the converse).
I know it's natural to not want to pin things down, but it's also a tad confusing. As transsexuality is a consistent "reality" (do all the "neuroses"/"types"/"conditions" have an acceptable term?), it probably has at least one constant symptom.
However, I understand if that constant symptom is not certain. As-is, barring repression, I haven't seen any accounts of transsexuality that didn't involve feeling somewhat dissatisfied in how one was treated/born. That's going to be the closest thing to a "litmus test" I'm going to get.
If anybody has alternative traits, though, I'd be happy to learn about them. As-is, pretty sure my curiosity about my own sexuality has been fair much resolved.
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Well, if your own gender is something you're interested in examining, it's very easy (especially in the age of the internet) to play around with social and biological gender cues. You can try joining a new online community under a different identity, try out clothes or grooming techniques of the other sex, sort through media aimed at different groups, and see what's comforting and what feels awkward. Heck, you can even take hormone therapy for months before any real, permanent changes set in, to see if your brain reacts well to that change.
Not necessarily. Some people suppress it for quite a long time, or don't figure it out until later in life.The power of the mind to repress is pretty incredible especially if you can find outlets that either explain things away or things that really enjoy that are traditionally masculine(or feminine for the converse).
I've heard of some trans women who join the military for just that reason.
As transsexuality is a consistent "reality" (do all the "neuroses"/"types"/"conditions" have an acceptable term?*), it probably has at least one constant symptom.
I'd suggest that an underlying cause may be shared (about which, see some of Todd Stewart's and TanithT's posts on the subject in this thread for one (convincing to me) theory), but the manifestations or symptoms, to use your word, of that cause are going to vary due to a variety of factors (age, culture, immediate home environment, larger social environment, maybe sexual orientation, available information, etc.)
Dissatisfaction is a basic and probably common element, sure, but that can manifest in different ways and to different degrees.
Pfft. Even if I am trans, I don't think I'm trans "enough" to justify making that kinda change. Let's just say I don't have the right body type.
I'm happy enough being male that I don't think I fit, though. I sometimes think I'd be happier as a girl, but I'm pretty sure it's just a vague fascination more than anything else.
Pfft. Even if I am trans, I don't think I'm trans "enough" to justify making that kinda change. Let's just say I don't have the right body type.
I'm happy enough being male that I don't think I fit, though. I sometimes think I'd be happier as a girl, but I'm pretty sure it's just a vague fascination more than anything else.
Well, it is a spectrum. So you could experience a bit of gender variance without being full-blown transgender (or other degrees of transgender).
And I think a lot of non-trans people do occasionally wonder about what it's like to be the other gender. This is more of a certainty or a driving need, in my experience.
Exactly. It'd be nice to just say it was transsexuality, but I think to do so would be insulting to transsexuals. Wanting to be a girl does not a transsexual make. ;P
I'm okay being an effeminate guy. That's who I'm comfortable being. Though I'll grant that it would be nice if people would stop assuming I'm gay... XD
A friend of mine and fellow gamer is also very effeminate. He however, is never in any danger of being mistaken for homosexual. His escapades are legendary.
But, this assumes people are willing to get to know the other person instead of judging a book by it's apparent cover...
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Not necessarily. Some people suppress it for quite a long time, or don't figure it out until later in life.The power of the mind to repress is pretty incredible especially if you can find outlets that either explain things away or things that really enjoy that are traditionally masculine(or feminine for the converse).I've heard of some trans women who join the military for just that reason.
One of my best friends was military then a police officer as well as almost a priest in her church until the transition. She loved being a police officer but noone would back her up and she caught constant crap from the other officers, male and female. She's also a writer and a slam poet and one of her poems is about her first makeup which was the camouflage stuff. And how that was one of her first clues. She also wrote a poem called "I saw Jesus slam dance" which is one favorites. ^_^ Great to hear performed. She didn't start her transition until around 35. Her wife and her stayed in each others good graces but she just wasn't a lesbian. She has two beautiful kids and they call her dad which she is fine with because they already have a mother and it is just a title. She's one of the better adjusted people I know and I owe a lot of my grounding and sanity to her example. She just released a book not long ago that is probably worth checking out: Shadowboxer.
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Also I know several late in life transwomen who were attracted to men and could get away with a lot of what they want and need in the gay community and occasionally doing drag. It wasn't perfect and a lot of them eventually transition and go for surgery but it's simpler if ultimately unaffective solution for some. A lot of those women don't transition until their late 40's. I had a friend who was a pilot that didn't transition until her late 40's as well and was still with her wife last I heard from her. She was jewish, ex-airforce and kind of conservative so she had a lot playing against her for that. Also, access to things like hormones and help for transgendered men and women has greatly improved since their youth, so that was a big factor as well.
Just to clarify--a "transwoman" or "transgendered man" refers to their actual gender and not their apparent sex, right? So someone seemingly born male who later came to realize they were a woman would be a transwoman, and vice versa?
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Just to clarify--a "transwoman" or "transgendered man" refers to their actual gender and not their apparent sex, right? So someone seemingly born male who later came to realize they were a woman would be a transwoman, and vice versa?
Yes. The preferred terminology for refferring to how someone was originally perceived is "birth sex," "designated Male/Female At Birth" (DMAB/DFAB), "Assigned Male/Female At Birth," (AMAB/AFAB) or "Coercively Assigned Male/Female At Birth" (CAMAB/CAFAB). That covers people who fall within sex dimorphic theory and intersex and indeterminate children as well.
"Trans" without an asterisk generally means someone who is transitioning and living in society as a gender other than what they were assigned at birth (whether male, female, agender, or bigender) and deal daily with real world problems of transphobia and cissexism; some people would further limit it to people undergoing medical transition on some level, but I am not one of them. "Trans*" covers a much broader group of anyone who screws around with the gender binary.
Transwoman or Trans Woman generally refers to a CAMAB person who was raised (at least for a little while) as a boy, but is actually a woman.
Transman or Trans Man generally refers to a CAFAB person who was raised (at least for a little while) as a girl, but is actually a man.