Even considering the title of that link, it was far more heinous than I ever anticipated. Reading it at first I felt forced to assume it was some kind of sick joke...
Half of that is because I feel like it's because the view is that a guy is demeaning himself by appearing as a woman, while the opposite is not true as a girl. Cue feminist rant here.
I feel almost exactly the same way. While I don't cross-dress, most of the homophobic slurs I receive imply in some way that I'm lessening myself by not clutching to traditionally masculine traits/roles. Even something so minor as me painting my nails has led to people jumping on me for 'unacceptable' behaviour.
Well, I was called (local equivalent of f@@!@#) multiple times just because I had (moderately) long hair. Shaving heads a la skinheads is very common here among hooligans, idiots and teenagers since the late nineties, even when they have little in common with actual skinhead and neonazis (beyond shared homophobia, macho-attitude and aggression).
Ugh, just came across this article in my FB newsfeed:
GOP Politician Tweets That Transgender People Should Go To Concentration Camps.
What an absolutey vile and despicable opinion of other people.
I can't find that he has ever held an elected office, and with comments like that I can reasonably say that he never will.
I can't find that he has ever held an elected office, and with comments like that I can reasonably say that he never will.Ugh, just came across this article in my FB newsfeed:
GOP Politician Tweets That Transgender People Should Go To Concentration Camps.
What an absolutey vile and despicable opinion of other people.
I can think of an office or two he can hold. ....
It looks like same-sex marriage is now legal in New Jersey
Gov. Christie has withdrawn his appeal against the state Supreme Court's decision that said that same-sex marriage is guaranteed by the state constitution.
That puts it at 14 states plus the District of Columbia.
Huh. Also within six Native American tribal jurisdictions, in the northwest, the upper midwest, and California. Cool.
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Meanwhile in Australia, the ACT (Canberra's territory) is trying to enact territory-level legislation to legalise same-sex marriage.
The unfortunate thing is that due to a flagged High Court challenge by the a#+!#@+s in Government federally, they've had to change the wording from it being "Marriage Equality" (and extending marriage to all parties regardless of gender) to being "Same-Sex Marriage" (and creating a second legal construction called 'same-sex marriage' that gives all the same benefits that marriage does). Separate but not equal as usual. :/
I've also seen some backlash from the trans* community about the change, because the definition for qualifying for 'same-sex marriage' is about having the same gender registered, which kinda seriously screws over those who don't surgically/medically transition! They'll be able to get married, but not as their proper gender under the law.
(Not sure how true it is as I obviously haven't looked into it myself, but people on Facebook were saying that you can't legally get your gender changed unless you've had the procedures.)
Meanwhile in Australia, the ACT (Canberra's territory) is trying to enact territory-level legislation to legalise same-sex marriage.
The unfortunate thing is that due to a flagged High Court challenge by the a#*!!+&s in Government federally, they've had to change the wording from it being "Marriage Equality" (and extending marriage to all parties regardless of gender) to being "Same-Sex Marriage" (and creating a second legal construction called 'same-sex marriage' that gives all the same benefits that marriage does). Separate but not equal as usual. :/
Wow, that sounds like a pain. I mean, take what you can get, but what a pain and what an unpleasant message to send.
I've also seen some backlash from the trans* community about the change, because the definition for qualifying for 'same-sex marriage' is about having the same gender registered, which kinda seriously screws over those who don't surgically/medically transition! They'll be able to get married, but not as their proper gender under the law.
(Not sure how true it is as I obviously haven't looked into it myself, but people on Facebook were saying that you can't legally get your gender changed unless you've had the procedures.)
That sucks. Both for people who chose not to have surgery and for those who want it but can't afford it.
I believe HRT is covered by Medicare (our national health care system) to some extent although I'm not sure how to begin searching for other procedures.
In any case, still sucks for those who chose not to do so.
Agreed.
Meanwhile in Australia, the ACT (Canberra's territory) is trying to enact territory-level legislation to legalise same-sex marriage.
The unfortunate thing is that due to a flagged High Court challenge by the a*#!#$!s in Government federally, they've had to change the wording from it being "Marriage Equality" (and extending marriage to all parties regardless of gender) to being "Same-Sex Marriage" (and creating a second legal construction called 'same-sex marriage' that gives all the same benefits that marriage does). Separate but not equal as usual. :/
I've also seen some backlash from the trans* community about the change, because the definition for qualifying for 'same-sex marriage' is about having the same gender registered, which kinda seriously screws over those who don't surgically/medically transition! They'll be able to get married, but not as their proper gender under the law.
(Not sure how true it is as I obviously haven't looked into it myself, but people on Facebook were saying that you can't legally get your gender changed unless you've had the procedures.)
Legislation is enacted... 8 Labor and 1 Green, against 8 Liberals (Conservative a#~#%#!s).
A bit of background... The Australian Capital Territory is like the District of Columbia, it is a self administering territory in which the Capital is located.
The important part is depending of how the challenge by the Federal Liberal (conservative a@%~+*%s not actual liberals) government goes the other states and territories may be able to use the ACTs legislation as precedent to enact their own.
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I feel like this is the best place online for me to post this, I'm sorry if it goes long...
I have had a shattered gender identity for years, and have thought of myself as a woman at times. I have wide hips, a large butt, and a small frame, which doesn't help me on the masculinity side.
So I came out as bi to some really close friends a bit over a year and a half ago, and I'm gradually coming out to more people. That is typically going well, but I'm also in a happy committed relationship with a woman, so it doesn't really register for most people. I am terrified to come out as trans, as at my university I don't fit in well with the LG community ("You have a girlfriend! Eww!"), there isn't really a bi community, and there are like two transmen and no transwomen on campus. And on top of all this I am not sure what my gender really is at all.
To anyone who read this far, thank you, and I'm sorry for rambling off-topic, but I really didn't know who i could say any of this too, and the LGBT Paizo community is the most welcoming I have found anywhere on the internet.
In any case, that article was scary and uncomfortable. Thank you for posting it though. The tidbit in the end about the state having the worst education in the country provided a much needed smile. :-)
Also, I'm helping host a Gender Bender dance at my school ("Walk a mile on someone else's shoes") and I am going in full drag. It will be so excellent!
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Its a 'funny' thing, many people I know are quite willing to accept someone in a same-sex relationship is bi, but not so much for someone in an opposite sex relationship...
Fun fact: it is only pretty recently (18th century if i am not mistaken) that the color pink is considered 'girlish' actually pink was the 'soft' form of the very 'male' red and a color for boys, girls would wear the 'soft' form of blue...
Good luck and tons fo fun for you school dance!
I feel like this is the best place online for me to post this, I'm sorry if it goes long...
** spoiler omitted **
In any case, that article was scary and uncomfortable. Thank you for posting it though. The tidbit in the end about the state having the worst education in the country provided a much needed smile. :-)
Also, I'm helping host a Gender Bender dance at my school ("Walk a mile on someone else's shoes") and I am going in full drag. It will be so excellent!
walking a mile in someoneeelse's shoes..hmm...
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walking a mile in someoneeelse's shoes..hmm...I feel like this is the best place online for me to post this, I'm sorry if it goes long...
** spoiler omitted **
In any case, that article was scary and uncomfortable. Thank you for posting it though. The tidbit in the end about the state having the worst education in the country provided a much needed smile. :-)
Also, I'm helping host a Gender Bender dance at my school ("Walk a mile on someone else's shoes") and I am going in full drag. It will be so excellent!
No thanks! Athletes foot!
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I feel like this is the best place online for me to post this, I'm sorry if it goes long...
** spoiler omitted **
...Also, I'm helping host a Gender Bender dance at my school ("Walk a mile on someone else's shoes") and I am going in full drag. It will be so excellent!
There's a wide range of places where one can find oneself in the gender spectrum. There's no need to force yourself into a specific identity if you don't find it to be comfortable to do so. And if you don't know yet, that's okay. Some people, it takes a while to figure out. And some people don't fit into traditional notions of what a trans person is. There isn't any single way to be one. I think if you read comments in this thread by the people who identify as trans, or in some way gender variant, you'll see there are a variety of identities, and they're all okay.
In terms of being concerned about how the local LG community would react, and the lack of a bi or trans community on campus, can you look for an LGBT community center off-campus? Or a trans support group off-campus? That might help, and might provide you with more of a support network if you ever are in need of one. If you're a student, you might also look to see if any therapy sessions are covered by student health insurance. Or if there's a general campus LGBT center, see if they have resources, or even just a website with resources. For example, here's the trans resource page for the UW-Madison LGBT Campus Center.
And yeah, it can be scary coming out as trans. I was incredibly nervous when I first came out to anyone. First person I came out to was a good friend who lives in a different state. Sent him a long, emotional email one night. That was the first time I'd talked about my gender issues with a friend. Had no idea how he'd react, waited on pins and needles until he replied. Hugely relieved when he wrote back, surprised but supportive. Then I had to go through the same process again with my other friends (how will they react, will they believe me, etc.). Same thing again more recently when I came out to my work, and then to my family (my family's in a different part of the country, I only see them once a year, usually). Sent a letter to my family by snail mail. That was a long couple of days while I waited to hear back, not knowing how things were going to turn out. I was very, very lucky, and things went very well in each of those cases. But yeah, it can be difficult to do.
I found that writing it out as a letter helped, since it gave me the time to compose my thoughts, while also giving the people I came out to time to have whatever initial reaction they needed to have before contacting me with a response.
Coming out is not something you have to do until you're ready. And it's a good idea to prepare yourself for whatever might happen afterwards. Take the time you need in order to do it the way that seems best to you, when you're ready to do it, if you feel you need to do it.
Good luck to you, and have fun at the dance.
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Assistant Software Developer
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Coming out is rarely easy. I went about it like a chess player. I had my moves planned out ahead of time and what I'd do if the nth person in the line of people I needed to tell didn't deal well with it. The only one I couldn't deal with was the #1 person who was my best friend from high school. Luckily I had awesome friends for the most part. Only one really disapproved but he promised to try and we remained good friends. He was my GM at the time. =)
Well, that's not entirely true. I outted myself to my coworkers accidentally several months before I wanted to announce my transition. That was probably the most stressful 48 hours of my life but it worked out mostly OK.
When I was out at college, it was kind of nice. I was older than most of the people there and I was visible and active in the LGBT group. And that meant that I had more than one young person who was different along the gender spectrum come up to me and tell me they wished they had my courage and that they hoped they could find it some day and I helped them when I could. Still, I went to an ag school in the southwest and it was not very progressive. Point is, one of the big goals of many transgender men and women is to be as invisible as possible in their habitat, especially those who took a beating in high school and still have it fresh on their minds. This is for various reasons but not the least of which is totally justified fear.
There may be more gender variant people at your school than you realize, though. =) At the very least, a lot of GLB can share your pain even if they haven't walked a mile in your particular brand of it. And often there are LGBT organizations on campus. They are great places to meet people who want to help others.
BRIEF THREADJACKING
Hi all; just got back home from a couple weeks in hospital -- heart attack/bypass surgery -- all went very well!
WE NOW RETURN YOU TO YOUR REGULARLY-SCHEDULED DISCUSSION!
:)
Take it easy look after yourself and be well mate.
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I have been on the other end of a coming out...
I had got back from Uni for my Christmas break, I lived 15 mins walk the beach and Christmas is in summer in Australia.
One of my best ever friends and I were walking back from the beach through the scrub at sunset the sky was orange pink and the smell of barbecues and sea salt was in the air.
My friend look at me and said something like "hey mate I have something important to tell you"
"Yep"
He said "mate I think I am gay"...serious voice not joking.
My brain went oh this is very important don't balls this up for him, say something that will reassure him that this doesn't change our friendship and that peoples sexual orientation is not an issue for me.
My mouth says "mate I am your friend no matter what".... Brain says "Oh s~&# I worded that wrong... did I word that wrong?, oh crap I think I did... because what I said sounds like there is something wrong with him and I am still his friend...
He didn't speak to me for a few days I kept calling him to hang out, still friends 20 years later...
Hey alexis.
BRIEF THREADJACKING
Hi all; just got back home from a couple weeks in hospital -- heart attack/bypass surgery -- all went very well!
WE NOW RETURN YOU TO YOUR REGULARLY-SCHEDULED DISCUSSION!
:)
I'm glad everything went well. I hope your recovery is speedy.
Alexis, I've found this particular group of people to be some of the best around. Good advice and welcoming all around. I have gone to pages that are supposed to be about support and I found them lacking. Maybe because it felt forced, I don't know. Here everyone is genuine. I find that to be the most supportive.
BRIEF THREADJACKING
Hi all; just got back home from a couple weeks in hospital -- heart attack/bypass surgery -- all went very well!
WE NOW RETURN YOU TO YOUR REGULARLY-SCHEDULED DISCUSSION!
:)
holy s+#+, what happened man?
BRIEF THREADJACKING
Hi all; just got back home from a couple weeks in hospital -- heart attack/bypass surgery -- all went very well!
WE NOW RETURN YOU TO YOUR REGULARLY-SCHEDULED DISCUSSION!
:)
That's some scary stuff there. Very glad you're okay.
Welcome freshbloods!
Hi Cheeseweasel, glad you are ok - was that continuation of health problems you mentioned before?
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Assistant Software Developer
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^_^ thank you all.
Going to a thing called Extra-Life in Redmond tonight... 25 hours of Pathfinder, charity, etc... So it's gonna be fun, but also very tiring. Gonna boost my character from 6 to 11... and then start playing my Arshea worshipping Magus.
I keep thinking we need to do that some day. If you need recommendations for places to eat around Uncle's Games, let me know. ^_^
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Since you're in Redmond, you should try to get up to the Raygun Lounge in Seattle once a month when they do their Ladies Night. http://www.gammaraygamestore.com/events/
Ashley is really nice. The place is very welcoming. I've only had the time to go once so far but I really enjoyed it. I was the only crossdresser there but no one treated me anything other than just another gamer. It was obvious that I am a man because of my voice but the couple we gamed with made it a point to call me "her, she, Cindy, etc." even though I never asked them to. I wouldn't have cared either way but it was really nice that they went that extra step to try and see me the way I presented myself.
@Cheeseweasel:
Congrats on the successful surgery. Hope your recovery goes well too.
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Assistant Software Developer
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Might need to know the nearest coffee place, and maybe a good bench to catch a 2 hour cat nap lol.
Nearest place will be the starbucks in the main plaza area. There is also a brazilian coffee place with interesting cheese pastries across the street from the hotel. Assuming you're at the one in the Redmond Town Center. If you're at the one in Bellevue at Crossroads, then starbucks is about equidistant from The French Bakery and that place is, i'm pretty sure, as close to heaven as one can find on earth. =)
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Assistant Software Developer
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Ashley is really nice. The place is very welcoming. I've only had the time to go once so far but I really enjoyed it. I was the only crossdresser there but no one treated me anything other than just another gamer. It was obvious that I am a man because of my voice but the couple we gamed with made it a point to call me "her, she, Cindy, etc." even though I never asked them to. I wouldn't have cared either way but it was really nice that they went that extra step to try and see me the way I presented myself.
Ashley has gone out of her way to be welcoming to gender variant people on ladies night. She's a class act and if you have the time I can also recommend it.
Cheeseweasel, you're our only cheeseweasel, and I really don't want to have to take it down a notch and go for the rather pedestrian spiceweasel, so please heal up and the best of luck quitting smoking. My wife quit not long before we were married, and it was a difficult time but soooooo worth it.
@Cheeseweasel, Hoping you continue on a speedy recovery. :)
(and I made the magus bald, big step for me!)Hey, it's a solid look that somehow manages to accentuate masculinity, femininity, or androgyny depending on what one is shooting for. That and head shape. ;)
without my freshly shaven head, I shudder to think what the state of my black manliness would be.
About to run my darklight sisterhood game today.