I do hope you appreciate the irony that even with help I'm still a crappy communicator. :)
Most people are. It would be nice if how to relate to other people was something we were actually taught instead of something we're supposed to magically absorb from observing other people who don't know what they're doing either.
I dunno Iynora, you seem decently talented at getting your message across.
And as far as learning to communicate from other people you are right, it does seem to be a case of the incompetent leading the innocent.
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Thanks ;)The Paizo community is pretty awesome, yes. :)
Addressing your concerns about whether you're sabotaging yourself...that doesn't mean there's anything wrong with you. Happens to everyone. But I would encourage learning better communication techniques. I'm far from perfect, but I know that has helped me a lot. And this is from someone who is totally wary of psychologists and psychiatrists. Some of them are maybe not so bad. ;)
This is true. I know I have at certain difficult times in my life benefited from having a therapist to talk to, even though I do not suffer from any particular emotional or psychological disorders. Many people in my life have required medication in response to chemical imbalances related to depression, bipolar disorder, and anxiety. I do not have those, but I still have plenty of issues to work out regarding communication and not being a total doormat in relationships.
That's cause you're only interacting with me in my strong area, written communication. Although I have gotten better at verbal communication thanks to therapy. Both for myself and for my son. Having to teach him how to interpret and express emotions at the most basic level really helped me learn a few things I had missed up to then. One of these days I may even learn how to make friends.....not holding my breath, but we'll see. :)
Disclaimer: A lot of my problem with making friends right now is that I'm caught in between. My peers in age aren't my peers in where I am in life since I'm in my thirties and in college. Since being a mom and a student doesn't leave me a lot of time for extracurricular activities I don't really have a chance to connect to other people. As much as I tend to get on my own case with this stuff and get kinda down sometimes about not having a social circle, there is a lot of outside circumstances that are affecting it.
THERAPISTS RULE!
That's cause you're only interacting with me in my strong area, written communication. Although I have gotten better at verbal communication thanks to therapy. Both for myself and for my son. Having to teach him how to interpret and express emotions at the most basic level really helped me learn a few things I had missed up to then. One of these days I may even learn how to make friends.....not holding my breath, but we'll see. :)
Disclaimer: A lot of my problem with making friends right now is that I'm caught in between. My peers in age aren't my peers in where I am in life since I'm in my thirties and in college. Since being a mom and a student doesn't leave me a lot of time for extracurricular activities I don't really have a chance to connect to other people. As much as I tend to get on my own case with this stuff and get kinda down sometimes about not having a social circle, there is a lot of outside circumstances that are affecting it.
What I have learned from my rather extensive experience with people that aren’t particularly good at articulating their feelings is that they not speaking well doesn’t mean they aren’t communicating with you. In all likelihood they are metaphorically screaming their feelings to the world at the top of their lungs, just not in a way that is commonly understood.
I was once told that the most basic human need after our physical necessities is the need to be heard. To have someone else understand you for who you really are and appreciate you for it.
Finding this is just this side of damn near impossible for your average, fully vocal person. For someone who lacks the tools to call attention to their feelings easily things are even more difficult, which is very unfortunate.
All we can do about it as human beings is to try our hardest to understand each other, each in our own way, to the best of our abilities and hope that, at least once, we can find someone who can see us for who we really are.
As far as your circumstances around making friends go yeah I wouldn’t feel bad about that at all if I were you. It’s a fish out of water situation with added time constrains, not much you can do with that until circumstances change.
THERAPISTS RULE!
Hmmm, perhaps I would be willing to trust them but, add a space, and they become:
THE RAPISTS!
-Eyes narrow-
Seems suspicious to me!
THERAPISTS RULE!
Hmmm, perhaps I would be willing to trust them but, add a space, and they become:
THE RAPISTS!
-Eyes narrow-
Seems suspicious to me!
When I saw the Freehold DM's post for the first time I read it that way and started wondering what the hell, and when the posts went that way. Only after rereading posts above I caught on.
Heh. And here's where that introspection thingie I so dislike comes in...
When you note things starting to slide (preferably BEFORE, but that requires regular introspection) take a little time to think over what's going on and how your behaviour seems to be affecting, or effecting, the situation.
What am I doing?
How does what I'm doing serve me?
Note that this second question is tricky: if you ARE sabotaging yourself, your actions serve you by relieving you of the stress of not having failed yet. I.e., it can really suck to have things going well if you expect them not to, and screwing things up on purpose (subconsciously, one hopes) can let you be prepared for the dissolution. If you fail something on your own schedule, it isn't as painful...
If you're regular, rigorous, and honest with yourself, SOMETIMES you can catch your habits of behaviour and short-circuit the cycle.
And, sometimes, you still fail; nobody wins 'em all.
It's a question of resolve, to get back up and forge ahead, keeping in mind those areas in which you tend to oppose yourself.
THERAPISTS RULE!
Hmmm, perhaps I would be willing to trust them but, add a space, and they become:
THE RAPISTS!
-Eyes narrow-
Seems suspicious to me!
Google celebrity jeopardy snl, I think they did that there. It was the only time I found will Ferrell funny.
Insomnia sucks. I have taken trazodone for many years, originally for depression but the main side effect is that it makes you sleep. I've been off it for a few months now and I've noticed I'm having more trouble with getting to sleep. May have to try melatonin which is what I give my eight year old (with his pediatrician's blessing) to treat his insomnia. As far as we can tell it seems to be related to the ADHD. It's hard to sleep when your mind never slows down. Anyways, good luck dealing with your sleep troubles dogbladewarrior.
I take melatonin for my insomnia, and it works great. It's not as instantaneous or as inexorable as ambien, but I only need half a 3-5 mg tablet and it kicks in after 15-20 minutes.
And in my own case, heavy duty prescription sleep meds are dangerous. I'm diabetic, and I occasionally have a low-blood-sugar event in the wee hours. So being heavily drugged could literally kill me. :)
I buy 1 mg tablets for my son. He needs two, but they don't seem to offer 2 mg tablets. 3 mg is too much and would lead to bed-wetting incidents. But it's really helped him to consistently get the sleep he needs. I should really stop being stubborn and just try it. :)
THERAPISTS RULE!
Hmmm, perhaps I would be willing to trust them but, add a space, and they become:
THE RAPISTS!
-Eyes narrow-
Seems suspicious to me!
Ever since my best friend and I saw the Celebrity Jeopardy skit where fake Sean Connery reads the category THERAPISTS as THE RAPISTS that's been part of our personal lexicon. It's horrible and crass and we should not be allowed out in public. Asperger's is ass-buggery too.
A different friend said to me a while back that therapy is great for the worried well, but people with actual problems needed drugs. I think that's pretty dismissive of people who might have less severe issues, but issues that negatively impact their daily lives and healthy functioning anyway. If you're smart about it, you can get a bit of mileage out of just having a diagnosis and knowing your symptoms based on it:
"Ok this is just me having a multitasking-related anxiety button hit, not my friend trying to drive me into an insane rage."
That's not drugs, but it's still managing yourself. I suspect most people have a little bit of something off with them at some point in their lives and many of them probably do not need drug treatment. Their symptoms can be managed with a bit of awareness, some breathing exercises, frequent sex, a special vacuum attachment, whatever. It would be overkill to dose them up.
But they're not everyone and some people definitely need the drugs. Getting the right drugs in the right amounts, and keeping them there as tolerances build up or situations change, is the hard part.
Heh. And here's where that introspection thingie I so dislike comes in...
When you note things starting to slide (preferably BEFORE, but that requires regular introspection) take a little time to think over what's going on and how your behaviour seems to be affecting, or effecting, the situation.
What am I doing?
How does what I'm doing serve me?
Note that this second question is tricky: if you ARE sabotaging yourself, your actions serve you by relieving you of the stress of not having failed yet. I.e., it can really suck to have things going well if you expect them not to, and screwing things up on purpose (subconsciously, one hopes) can let you be prepared for the dissolution. If you fail something on your own schedule, it isn't as painful...
If you're regular, rigorous, and honest with yourself, SOMETIMES you can catch your habits of behaviour and short-circuit the cycle.
And, sometimes, you still fail; nobody wins 'em all.
It's a question of resolve, to get back up and forge ahead, keeping in mind those areas in which you tend to oppose yourself.
Yeah, what you are saying is true. Ironically perhaps I am beginning suspect that what my problem really might actually be somewhat of the opposite in the fact that I don’t seem to know when to back down when it comes to a situation or relationship I have strong feelings towards.
I beat the dead horse and tell it to get back on its feet long after it has rotted away to bones and when someone points out it’s long dead I have a reaction of “Then get me a tome of necromancy so that I may summon it back!”And when they respond; “Errr, I don’t think magic is real.”
I’m like “Then I will make it real! This damn horse is getting back up one way or another!”
There is a point where really what you need to do is disentangle and just let something fade for the sake of everyone involved but so far it seems to be a decision that takes me entirely too long to make.
Google celebrity jeopardy snl, I think they did that there. It was the only time I found will Ferrell funny.
Lol, that is hilarious! Kinda fits with what Sean Connery seems to be like too, based on some of the interviews with him I've seen.
Ever since my best friend and I saw the Celebrity Jeopardy skit where fake Sean Connery reads the category THERAPISTS as THE RAPISTS that's been part of our personal lexicon. It's horrible and crass and we should not be allowed out in public. Asperger's is ass-buggery too.
A different friend said to me a while back that therapy is great for the worried well, but people with actual problems needed drugs. I think that's pretty dismissive of people who might have less severe issues, but issues that negatively impact their daily lives and healthy functioning anyway. If you're smart about it, you can get a bit of mileage out of just having a diagnosis and knowing your symptoms based on it:
"Ok this is just me having a multitasking-related anxiety button hit, not my friend trying to drive me into an insane rage."
That's not drugs, but it's still managing yourself. I suspect most people have a little bit of something off with them at some point in their lives and many of them probably do not need drug treatment. Their symptoms can be managed with a bit of awareness, some breathing exercises, frequent sex, a special vacuum attachment, whatever. It would be overkill to dose them up.
But they're not everyone and some people definitely need the drugs. Getting the right drugs in the right amounts, and keeping them there as tolerances build up or situations change, is the hard part.
Yeah I guess in my eternal questioning of things I just sometimes wonder if there isn’t something a little off about me. Just because I don’t come across as out of my mind (at least in real life =D) doesn’t necessarily mean something isn’t up. Maybe I should get therapy, maybe I should get drugs, or maybe I should just do what I do and continue making sure it never gets out of control.
It sometimes almost seems like the relationship I end up having with the people in my life who are close to me is kinda a “I’m a junkyard dog and they’re my owner.” One where the only thing that seems to filter through into their consciousness is the fact that they are safe with me because I will never attack them but they then throw out the fact that it is in my nature to viciously attack things(mentally nowadays rather than physically, I have that part firmly under control) and that that might be a problem. It just makes it so I can’t rely on others to keep me in check, even just from the point of view of pointing things out, as opposed to trying to control me.
I had a funny conversation with friend recently where we talked about my total package aggressiveness and he said that my situation reminded me of a line Clive Owen’s character says about Marv in Sin City where he basically says his only problem is that he was born in the wrong century and that if he was a ancient warrior on a battlefield or a gladiator or something society would appreciate what he had to offer and everything would basically work well for him.
I dunno, that might be true but I am where I am and I have to make due with that and besides, our modern world does seem to fit what I am personally going far more than most of what I know of the past.
I dunno, maybe asking yourself if you are little crazy is pointless(because if you are how would you know?) and it’s not a big deal to me anyway but it is a possibility that crosses my mind occasionally.
Insomnia sucks. I have taken trazodone for many years, originally for depression but the main side effect is that it makes you sleep. I've been off it for a few months now and I've noticed I'm having more trouble with getting to sleep. May have to try melatonin which is what I give my eight year old (with his pediatrician's blessing) to treat his insomnia. As far as we can tell it seems to be related to the ADHD. It's hard to sleep when your mind never slows down.
Somewhat tangential: I've got ADD and if I want to get a good night's sleep, I have to start prepping myself for bed at least a half hour before it's time for me to get into bed.
Per my therapist's advice (he's an expert on ADD/ADHD and anxiety, which tend to go hand in hand, apparently) that means lower the lights, no "exciting" noises (soothing music good, fast paced dance music bad), do something "boring" or methodical like read a how-to (I read cookbooks, which are interesting enough that I want to pick the book up, but methodical enough that I start to tire). Meditating for a few minutes can also help--just sort of sitting and breathing and getting into my head "it is time to sleep now."
When I do this, I actually fall asleep pretty quickly, within 15-20 minutes. As opposed to the 45-90 minutes it otherwise takes for my brain to get the "your head has hit the pillow, sleep would be a good idea" message. And it's always taken that long, ever since I was small. When I was a kid I'd tell myself stories or recount a conversation I had or would like to have--sometimes aloud--till I got exhausted. Hell, I still do that now too.
When I instead decide to play video games up until I realize it's a half hour past my bedtime, of course it takes the usual 45-90 minutes to fall asleep because I've been stimulated by bright flashy graphics and explosions and music and may even have a bit of an adrenaline rush, depending on what I'm playing. (Or otherwise do something that's got my brain running.)
Sadly, I think the video game playing/overstimultion still happens more often than it ought, but I'm slowly getting better about it.
I had a funny conversation with friend recently where we talked about my total package aggressiveness and he said that my situation reminded me of a line Clive Owen’s character says about Marv in Sin City where he basically says his only problem is that he was born in the wrong century and that if he was a ancient warrior on a battlefield or a gladiator or something society would appreciate what he had to offer and everything would basically work well for him.I dunno, that might be true but I am where I am and I have to make due with that and besides, our modern world does seem to fit what I am personally going far more than most of what I know of the past.
We're all produced by the cultures of our upbringing, so we're all in the "right" century. :) They're not all the same cultures and some are dominant over wider areas than others. Some also play nicer with others. But if we learned one set of cultural baggage, we can always pick up another. It might not be as easy as the first since we're not the sponges we were as babies, but people do it all the time. Better still, as adults we get to pick in ways we couldn't as children.
I'm not sure how helpful that is if you really have some clinically significant issues which naturally would interfere with your ability to swing all that stuff, but you've told us right here that you've made changes. Maybe the talking cure would make keeping things in control easier. Maybe drugs too. I don't know; I'm not a doctor. I just played doctor with that cous- *whistles innocently and walks away*
But just to be contrary, we can flip that around too. Is intellectual aggression something that needs to be kept in control? Maybe, maybe not. I'm sure we can all come up with long lists of acceptable targets for some brain nasties: torturers, bullies, people who chew with their mouths open, most of my math teachers, people being wrong on the internet.... There's a big difference between, say, having all kinds of relationship turmoil because you disagree over the right color for drapes than there is for having the same turmoil because the other guy wants to drape everything in Nazi flags. Somewhere in there is that just right line between acceptable differences and big weighty issues that ought to impact how we see one another.
even MORE stuff to use at work. Thank you.
Insomnia sucks. I have taken trazodone for many years, originally for depression but the main side effect is that it makes you sleep. I've been off it for a few months now and I've noticed I'm having more trouble with getting to sleep. May have to try melatonin which is what I give my eight year old (with his pediatrician's blessing) to treat his insomnia. As far as we can tell it seems to be related to the ADHD. It's hard to sleep when your mind never slows down.Somewhat tangential: I've got ADD and if I want to get a good night's sleep, I have to start prepping myself for bed at least a half hour before it's time for me to get into bed.
Per my therapist's advice (he's an expert on ADD/ADHD and anxiety, which tend to go hand in hand, apparently) that means lower the lights, no "exciting" noises (soothing music good, fast paced dance music bad), do something "boring" or methodical like read a how-to (I read cookbooks, which are interesting enough that I want to pick the book up, but methodical enough that I start to tire). Meditating for a few minutes can also help--just sort of sitting and breathing and getting into my head "it is time to sleep now."
When I do this, I actually fall asleep pretty quickly, within 15-20 minutes. As opposed to the 45-90 minutes it otherwise takes for my brain to get the "your head has hit the pillow, sleep would be a good idea" message. And it's always taken that long, ever since I was small. When I was a kid I'd tell myself stories or recount a conversation I had or would like to have--sometimes aloud--till I got exhausted. Hell, I still do that now too.
When I instead decide to play video games up until I realize it's a half hour past my bedtime, of course it takes the usual 45-90 minutes to fall asleep because I've been stimulated by bright flashy graphics and explosions and music and may even have a bit of an adrenaline rush, depending on what I'm playing. (Or otherwise do something that's got my brain running.)
Sadly, I think the...
We're all produced by the cultures of our upbringing, so we're all in the "right" century. :) They're not all the same cultures and some are dominant over wider areas than others. Some also play nicer with others. But if we learned one set of cultural baggage, we can always pick up another. It might not be as easy as the first since we're not the sponges we were as babies, but people do it all the time. Better still, as adults we get to pick in ways we couldn't as children.
I'm not sure how helpful that is if you really have some clinically significant issues which naturally would interfere with your ability to swing all that stuff, but you've told us right here that you've made changes. Maybe the talking cure would make keeping things in control easier. Maybe drugs too. I don't know; I'm not a doctor. I just played doctor with that cous- *whistles innocently and walks away*
But just to be contrary, we can flip that around too. Is intellectual aggression something that needs to be kept in control? Maybe, maybe not. I'm sure we can all come up with long lists of acceptable targets for some brain nasties: torturers, bullies, people who chew with their mouths open, most of my math teachers, people being wrong on the internet.... There's a big difference between, say, having all kinds of relationship turmoil because...
Yeah I guess the thing I can fall back on too is the fact that these days I’m only using my naturally aggressive state of being as a tool to try and make things better as opposed to a weapon to hurt people with so I can prolly just let it go until a situation comes up where it is actually causing some serious problems.
even MORE stuff to use at work. Thank you.
Glad it's useful to someone!
I dunno, maybe asking yourself if you are little crazy is pointless(because if you are how would you know?) and it’s not a big deal to me anyway but it is a possibility that crosses my mind occasionally.
Sort of butting in here, but I think the question isn't "are you crazy?" "Crazy" is a word we bandy about for all kinds of things to a point that it's fairly meaningless.
The questions IMO to ask are
"Am I generally happy with myself and my life?
If the answer is no, and there aren't obvious stressors like someone you loved just died or you were recently attacked or something, then that may warrant self-investigation and if so moved, seeking some external advice or even treatment, depending on what your best instincts tell you.
Doubly so if the particular issue is you are not happy with yourself.
"Am I harmful to myself or others, whether physically or emotionally?"
If yes, then that's also worth investigating.
I'm probably putting this somewhat hamhandedly but hopefully the principle is understood. I'll back out now.
So I was talking to my friend just now as I was playing Diablo 3 and he was on the PS3 about basically what I’ve been saying here about how I sometimes wonder if I might have problems or be crazy and here is what he said when I was finished:
I can already tell what the problem here is. There are two issues involved:
First: You are rolling several ideas of what being aggressive means together and applying the negative connotations of some of that to yourself when it is not applicable.
Here is the breakdown in my eyes:
I find you assertive, not antagonistic.
Straightfoward, not overbearing.
Passionate, not angry or hateful.
Dedicated and maybe even a little ferocious in pursuit of what you value but not obsessed or inappropriate.
And so, in my completely unprofessional opinion, there is nothing wrong with you at all, you just have the traits you have and you are maintaining them at a healthy level.
This is actually the opposite side of what I was just telling my brother the other day when he was saying the problem he was having with women is that he is always being a nice guy and nice guys finish last and I was telling him: No! You never lose anything by being kind and respectful to a woman. The reality is you are rolling the concepts of being passive and uninteresting in with nice and they are your real problem.
Second: While I actually think it is a good idea for the average person to ask themselves the question “Am I out of my mind?” every once in awhile just to keep things in perspective with you I think there is also an element of wanting to box yourself into something to make your life make more sense.
One way or another you are always a person that blurs the lines between concepts even more heavily than a normal person does and you are also someone that is always in a position to make his own choices, what George W. Bush would call a “Decider”.
I think that makes you feel alone and uncertain about the choices you make because you are your own highest authority in your mind and can’t easily make judgment calls relating to your own life by looking at what is happening elsewhere.
What does the man who is free to do anything truly want? Someone to tell him what to do!
While I personally do find that last bit a little crazy I actually do think you could benefit greatly from seeing a therapist, a lot of hard things have happened to you in your life. Just go because you want to work out your feelings, not because you are looking for directions because you are too much of a pussy to make your own decisions in life and accept responsibility for them. That isn’t you, is it?
I really wish you were gay right now buddy, cause I want to kiss you ;)
Sort of butting in here, but I think the question isn't "are you crazy?" "Crazy" is a word we bandy about for all kinds of things to a point that it's fairly meaningless.
The questions IMO to ask are
"Am I generally happy with myself and my life?
If the answer is no, and there aren't obvious stressors like someone you loved just died or you were recently attacked or something, then that may warrant self-investigation and if so moved, seeking some external advice or even treatment, depending on what your best instincts tell you.Doubly so if the particular issue is you are not happy with yourself.
"Am I harmful to myself or others, whether physically or emotionally?"
If yes, then that's also worth investigating.
I'm probably putting this somewhat hamhandedly but hopefully the principle is understood. I'll back out now.
I understand. A couple of things real quick:
First off, you are welcome to butt in on any conversation I am ever having Deathquaker. I have never heard you make an inane or unhelpful remark. You can even scold me if you wish because I've noticed that when it is you doing it to someone, there is always a real reason for it ;)
Secondly, yes those specific questions are much more helpful. To the first "Am I happy?" The answer is kinda, so that doesn't really lead me anywhere directly. To the "Am I causing harm?" That's actually part of what my problem is, I can't really tell! Overt harm? Certainly not at this point but over time do I do subtle harm? I just don't know. Am I really a positive influence in the people I love lives in the end? Not sure. The ambivalency of those two answers is a large part of why I often talk about all the things I talk about, both here and in the real world.
Your friend sounds like a pretty cool guy.
I certainly like him. =D
So I have been yakking on for awhile now and while I still have a million more things to say I think it’s time to step out of the spotlight for a bit and share the microphone more fully. I’ll still be around and comment on things but I think it would be cool if the rest of you got a chance to get a bit more in depth about yourselves without me potentially crowding you out by making myself the center of attention(this is a community thread after all, not a one narcissist rambles on endlessly about himself thread.). You guys have shared some pretty interesting stuff so far but let’s hear more about you; the good and bad, the hard and the easy, the fun and the painful. Though we are separated by being spread across the world I am interested in hearing more of the stories I suspect we can all relate to.
In a couple weeks or if the thread starts to die I will prolly return to continuing the rambles but for now I think it’s time for me to take a break so I can listen and learn more instead of talk.
I think it is good that so many of you can talk about what bothers you, your fears, and worries. When I was restrained, full body restraint, three days in a dark room for isolation, I thought my whole world was undone and that I would never recover, but things got better. I wish I had had people like you to talk to back then.
I find that there is little in this world as freeing as being able to say how you honestly feel to someone. When you were being restrained, was it in prison or a psychiatric unit? Or was it some other circumstance?
Mental breakdown, whilst serving in the armed forces. I was placed in a hospital ward on a submarine tender, in an isolation cell for three days, no lights, no contact, sedated. I don't remember much. It was a very long time ago. Never happened again, but I still feel very ashamed of it. It was a very long time ago, and I really shouldn't talk about it.
That sounds like a traumatic incident. I’m sorry that happened to you, but yes, you don’t need to talk about it unless you really want to.
Just want to throw in another recommendation for melatonin products. I use a prescription version called Circadin (2mg).
I don't really suffer from insomnia, but I'm a very "bad" b-person. I rarely get to bed before 1-2 a.m. (in fact, right now it's 6.46 a.m. and I still haven't gone to bed) and am at my most creative after 8 p.m (plus I have a bad tendency to postpone my bedtime if I have a difficult schedule the following day).
Unfortunately, that doesn't quite fit into society, so I've started taking melatonin in an effort to turn my daily rhythm around a bit.
No side-effects, since it's a naturally occurring hormone and about 30 minutes after taking it I start to get drowsy. I'm still working on a night time routine/ritual (like DeathQuaker mentions) - as in, I basically know what I want to do, I just haven't actually done it yet... Yay for actually being one of those with a real diagnosis that makes such things difficult. ;-)
With the number of people that have recommended melatonin now I’m kinda getting sold on trying it. It sounds like it really works well and doesn’t have the mind-bending side effects of something like Ambien. Hmmm, interesting.
Hehe, so I was thinking about my recent rambles about “What if I have problems?” and I realized something. There is a chance that it makes me sound a bit whiny and self-indulgent to people who have struggled with discernable, concrete issues that have made pursuing the life they want to live difficult. So if you’ve gotten that impression of me from this…run with it! You are closing in on the truth now! ;)
Alright, I'm done talking about myself now, I promise. 0_o
Hehe, so I was thinking about my recent rambles about “What if I have problems?” and I realized something. There is a chance that it makes me sound a bit whiny and self-indulgent to people who have struggled with discernable, concrete issues that have made pursuing the life they want to live difficult. So if you’ve gotten that impression of me from this…run with it! You are closing in on the truth now! ;)
Bah. None of us are privy to the internal state of others so we're always likely to underrate their turmoils compared to our own. It's why characters who act as traumatized and upset as someone would probably be can come across as so over the top. We're exposed to that extra internal stuff we don't get when observing others.
...which isn't to say that some of them aren't overwritten angsty crybabies too, only that we tend to have unrealistic expectations and tolerances due to the lack of telepathy machines in our daily lives.
Hehe, so I was thinking about my recent rambles about “What if I have problems?” and I realized something. There is a chance that it makes me sound a bit whiny and self-indulgent to people who have struggled with discernable, concrete issues that have made pursuing the life they want to live difficult. So if you’ve gotten that impression of me from this…run with it! You are closing in on the truth now! ;)
Bah. None of us are privy to the internal state of others so we're always likely to underrate their turmoils compared to our own. It's why characters who act as traumatized and upset as someone would probably be can come across as so over the top. We're exposed to that extra internal stuff we don't get when observing others.
...which isn't to say that some of them aren't overwritten angsty crybabies too, only that we tend to have unrealistic expectations and tolerances due to the lack of telepathy machines in our daily lives.
Thanks friend, I hope most other people reading my ramblings see it that way too=)
Edit: To clarify what I mean is I hope they realize that natural tendency and try to focus their empathic lens as correctly as they can in spite of it.
re: sleepiness
Have you tried a banana? Those work really well for some people in generally feeling better overall, something to do with the potassium and the B vitamins. I know I can't sleep when I feel awful, it's its own special little hell where I will be exhausted, have a fever or something and more experience periods of unconsciousness rather than sleep.
So I tried the melatonin the last two nights. I've gotten to sleep remarkably quickly. 1 mg knocks me silly. No idea how the kidlet stays awake for an hour and a half after 2 mg. Mostly just because he's stubborn I think. :)
Random anecdote.
I had to replace my cable modem yesterday because I bought a terrible one back in January. (Zoom was the brand name. It was the only DOCSIS 3 in town at the time.) So I got to set up a new wireless network for the laptop and the two tablets. The last time I did this, three years ago, I named the network ThePleasurePrison.
How likely am I to set up one again in the near future? Not very. So here's a great chance to try a new fun name. Thus was born RadioFreeSodomy. I hope someone in range discovers it one day. I can see the network at the elementary school a quarter of a mile away, but they definitely have more boss hardware than I do.
So I tried the melatonin the last two nights. I've gotten to sleep remarkably quickly. 1 mg knocks me silly. No idea how the kidlet stays awake for an hour and a half after 2 mg. Mostly just because he's stubborn I think. :)
Is he taking ADHD medication as that can keep you up.
So I tried the melatonin the last two nights. I've gotten to sleep remarkably quickly. 1 mg knocks me silly. No idea how the kidlet stays awake for an hour and a half after 2 mg. Mostly just because he's stubborn I think. :)Is he taking ADHD medication as that can keep you up.
Nope. We tried medication, but he didn't sleep for three days straight. Poor kid was hallucinating by the time he was finally able to rest. So no more of that. We just have to manage his ADHD with patience and frequent breaks to get up and move around.
Watching he and I try to do anything that requires long periods of sitting still is hilarious since neither of us can do it without occasionally randomly jumping up, pacing back and forth a few times, and then sitting back down. I don't even know I'm doing it unless someone points it out. Monopoly is a strange game at my house. :)
re: sleepiness
Have you tried a banana? Those work really well for some people in generally feeling better overall, something to do with the potassium and the B vitamins. I know I can't sleep when I feel awful, it's its own special little hell where I will be exhausted, have a fever or something and more experience periods of unconsciousness rather than sleep.
I’m actually a huge fan of bananas and literally eat like three a day so I got that covered. Yeah, not sleeping for a long time is one of those things that can almost bring me to tears=(
Random anecdote.
I had to replace my cable modem yesterday because I bought a terrible one back in January. (Zoom was the brand name. It was the only DOCSIS 3 in town at the time.) So I got to set up a new wireless network for the laptop and the two tablets. The last time I did this, three years ago, I named the network ThePleasurePrison.
How likely am I to set up one again in the near future? Not very. So here's a great chance to try a new fun name. Thus was born RadioFreeSodomy. I hope someone in range discovers it one day. I can see the network at the elementary school a quarter of a mile away, but they definitely have more boss hardware than I do.
Lol. You had me at free sodomy =p
So I tried the melatonin the last two nights. I've gotten to sleep remarkably quickly. 1 mg knocks me silly. No idea how the kidlet stays awake for an hour and a half after 2 mg. Mostly just because he's stubborn I think. :)Is he taking ADHD medication as that can keep you up.Nope. We tried medication, but he didn't sleep for three days straight. Poor kid was hallucinating by the time he was finally able to rest. So no more of that. We just have to manage his ADHD with patience and frequent breaks to get up and move around.
Watching he and I try to do anything that requires long periods of sitting still is hilarious since neither of us can do it without occasionally randomly jumping up, pacing back and forth a few times, and then sitting back down. I don't even know I'm doing it unless someone points it out. Monopoly is a strange game at my house. :)
I’ve always thought it strange that a common treatment for ADHD in a kid is apparently to give them a strong upper, seems kinda counter intuitive to me, but then what do I know? I got my medical degree at Hearsay and B%$&*%*~ University, so I’m not exactly qualified to give an opinion.
In one of the Pathfinder games I’m in right now one of the players is my friend’s 15 year old brother who has ADHD. It’s interesting because while he can concentrate on the game quite well he gets extremely physically restless as time goes on. For the first 10 minutes he sits pretty still but then his leg starts bouncing, soon after he starts tapping pencils and then he is on his feet pacing. It’s all cool though, not only does it not bother anyone he is playing a hyperactive halfling in game so it really just adds to the experience=)
I need to get up in six and half hour to go a job assessment and I haven't managed to turn of computer and go sleep. Duh.
I don't really understand the reason why but I actually use caffeine to manage my ADHD symptoms, at least enough to be able to manage sitting through classes. Ritalin did about as well for me as it did for my kid. Not doing that again. Anyways, when I drink coffee, rather than making me hyper it makes me feel lethargic. I know that caffeine is a stimulant, but somehow when I take it, my thoughts slow down and I feel much calmer. However, while it's super effective in the morning, if I miss my morning coffee and try to make up for it later, it's never as effective. The problem is that I can't stop the habit of morning coffee when I'm on break from school so without any mental stimulation I spend my mornings half asleep from the effects of the caffeine. This backwards reaction to stimulants seems to be common among people with ADHD. Also makes me good in a crisis since adrenaline makes me very calm and clear-headed. :)
I’ve always thought it strange that a common treatment for ADHD in a kid is apparently to give them a strong upper, seems kinda counter intuitive to me, but then what do I know? I got my medical degree at Hearsay and B$**&#$! University, so I’m not exactly qualified to give an opinion.
People with clinically significant hyperactivity often have paradoxical reactions to stimulants. Something like caffeine or cocaine would be a downer for them instead of an upper.
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People with clinically significant hyperactivity often have paradoxical reactions to stimulants. Something like caffeine or cocaine would be a downer for them instead of an upper.
I’ve always thought it strange that a common treatment for ADHD in a kid is apparently to give them a strong upper, seems kinda counter intuitive to me, but then what do I know? I got my medical degree at Hearsay and B$**&#$! University, so I’m not exactly qualified to give an opinion.
Yeah no kidding. I've tried a couple of "nighttime" meds where drowsiness is expected and feel like I've popped a handful of Chocolate covered espresso beans that take effect right around 2AM.
Quick! Think of something else! Like hotdogs or sausage!Must... not... make... obvious... joke...
I’m actually a huge fan of bananas and literally eat like three a day so I got that covered.
Not sure if this helps.
I don't really understand the reason why but I actually use caffeine to manage my ADHD symptoms, at least enough to be able to manage sitting through classes. Ritalin did about as well for me as it did for my kid. Not doing that again. Anyways, when I drink coffee, rather than making me hyper it makes me feel lethargic. I know that caffeine is a stimulant, but somehow when I take it, my thoughts slow down and I feel much calmer. However, while it's super effective in the morning, if I miss my morning coffee and try to make up for it later, it's never as effective. The problem is that I can't stop the habit of morning coffee when I'm on break from school so without any mental stimulation I spend my mornings half asleep from the effects of the caffeine. This backwards reaction to stimulants seems to be common among people with ADHD. Also makes me good in a crisis since adrenaline makes me very calm and clear-headed. :)
Some people react to caffeine in this way. I used to get sleepy after coffee (which I drink rarely). Two weeks ago, when on a training I drank three cups of coffees without either result - I wasn't stimulated by I neither I become sleepy.