The party witch is ranting about how our last adventure went wrong, and we're never doing anything like that again. Along the way, she tells us "I have died too many times. And I'm not dying again before I get married and have kids."
Pfft. With the right ritual you don't have to fuss with that whole 'traditional order' thing...
We had a couple of good ones in last night's SFS2 game.
One player was debuting an ysoki envoy that they decided to play as very timid. When the party found signs of a feline predator in the area, the player squeaked faintly, "A feline predator?!" That fell right into a lull in the table chatter, and cracked us all up.
Two other players, a couple, were playing Chk Chk and Dae, and leaning into the pair's lore as best friends and personality foils. The ysoki frequently found the mystic's macabre outlook unnerving, so at the end of the adventure, Dae confided to them, "Between you and me, they did get shaken a little in the jar."
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I had a Starfinder vesk once who'd slept through xenobiology class and wasn't up to speed on other species' anatomy. He'd also slept through xenocultures and missed out a whole unit on galactic collquialisms.
YSOKI (to bad guys currently firing on us): Kiss my ass!
VESK: Yeah! And... snuffle my cloaca!
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"Shambling mound tea. Now that's different."
"That'll ail what cures ya."
From the "sparks" campaign I've talked about in the "tell me about your PF1 campaign" thread:
Wizard's player: "If we collect enough sparks, we can create a new god of breakfast."
Cleric's player: "This is why none of you are clerics!"
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So, in this thread, it's usually the players cracking the jokes. Today, the scenario author provided the one-liner that cracked up our whole table, and probably not in a way they intended.
Our party of novice Pathfinders had to fight a band of lowly Aspis agents who were trying to cause trouble during the Society's negotiations with local leaders. These Aspis proved to be highly inept. First, their attempt to ambush us was easily spotted. Then they repeatedly rolled poorly and either failed to set up their special sneak attack action or missed entirely. Most of the PCs started mocking them mercilessly while we whittled them down (mostly with nonlethal attacks, so they could be questioned later).
After the fight, we found a coded note on their leader. My strix bard rolled a 20 on Society to decode it, and started snickering after the very first line: "BURN AFTER READING." The rest of the note gave their mission and included strongly worded instructions to not leave any traces back to the Consortium. When Wutu read it out to the other PCs, she had to pause a number of times to stop cackling before she could read the next sentence. The rest of the team was cracking up by the time she finished.
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... "BURN AFTER READING." ...
It's Strix policy to use Explosive Runes on these missives as a boom to society...
MONK: I cast... OBSCURING FIST! *punch*