oh no. I'm rolling now.
Woody Allen sneezed on Charlie Sheen's coke. What did Charlie do? What any sensible warlock with tiger blood would do: he snorted Woody Allen.
Charlie Sheen was looking at IMDB.Com one day whilst dallying with a College Cheerleading B-squad in a hot tub filled with whip cream and maddog 20/20. He saw that Robbie Benson was the lead in Platoon. So he flew around the sun at Warp 25 to time travel back in time and save that movie.
Now tell me about the day Charlie Sheen and Chuck Norris met, Uncle Spanky.
Dude.....you know he lives in our city. I'd rather scream "Hastur! Hastur! Hastur!" three times.
Now tell me about the day Charlie Sheen and Chuck Norris met, Uncle Spanky.
Chuck Norris booted Charlie Sheen in the head so hard when he was a child that he never got better...
Dude.....you know he lives in our city. I'd rather scream "Hastur! Hastur! Hastur!" three times.
P-W-E-A-S-E..! You can whisper it to me in a spoiler.
I was one girl until Charlie decided he needed more loving. So he travelled sideways in time and grabbed another me.
He's an F-18 made of pure win bro. (tee hee)
Charlie don't comb his rug.
He leaves it for the Liliputian crackheads living in his carpet that he made with his shrink ray.
I ate a grapefruit in my underwear this morning, and snorted the sugar sprinkled on top accidentally. It was epic! It was full of win!
A normal human with a normal nasal cavity couldn't do that. But I've got the nasal cavity of a platybeladon, man. It's some kinda......shovel toothed mastodon......anyway, it was pretty b~@@*in! My kids are proud. F~$!ing EPIC proud, man.
I am battle-tested bayonets bro. Look at these sad trolls. It’s about winning. Sorry.
Hey! Just because I catch up on "pop culture b%~*%!@~ that barely qualifies as news" on the weekend doesn't mean you own the damn story.
Oh, no.
My win is epic, polished to a fine Sheen by two brilliant mammomorphic fertility goddesses from ancient Ur that you couldn't even conceive of handling in your wildest nightmares.
You take your cough medicine. I'll keep burning down national monuments with my ruby eye beams while guzzling casks of Amontillado and snorting half of the Colombian countryside every time I inhale. I won by waking up this morning, fool.
The scoreboard doesn’t lie. Never has. Sorry Middle America. If you can bring me a souvenir from that moment when your father locked you in the closet, then bring it to me. Me? I’m on a quest to claim absolute victory on every front. Just sit back and enjoy the show.
He's living inside the truth. And the truth doesn’t change!
(tee hee!)
I’m going to hang out with these two smoooooking hotties and fly privately around the world.
Deploy your ordinance to the ground Charlie! (tee hee!)
Bible grippers.
Loser.....winner.....bye.
Oh, yes.....yes, Fortunato....you've been hit by a smooth Vatican Assassin. My invisible soldiers are all around you.
Winning!!!
{edit} a sooth Vatican warlock Assassin
A possible counterpoint.
This thread is full of winners. Except for that guy Captain Snort. He's a loser. Me? I'm a winner and I leap the Grand Canyon in a single bound every day just because. The biz wants to keep me down but I just drop kick them in the head and tell them to &%!@# off.
Licks himself on the sofa.
Park your nonsense. I am special, and I will never be one of you. Now let’s talk about something exciting. Me. Because the only thing I’m addicted to right now is winning. My success rate is 100 percent. Do the math. So here’s your cold coffee. Buh-bye.
"Bi-polar? I'm bi-winning!"
-To me, the latter phrase (which I have to admit is full of sparkling manic genius) sounds like it should describe those folks who get very, very, VERY good at being bi-curious.
And can I just Sheenly say, in response to my own clearly genius comment above: WINNING
Talk about 'entitlement'.
I have a title. I'm the CEO. Of winning! Duh.
It is what you have won that is in question.
Our Adonis is now a Food Network chef! Is their nothing tiger blood can't do? (swoon)
A Vatican Warlock Assassin Alchemist is going to be the next World of Warcraft raid boss. I'm winning for it.