Captain Snort's page

I still have a tendency to imagine other posters as kids. At 36 I know I'm not exactly the Old Man on the Mountain, but it feels that way sometimes.

Get off my lawn, rugrat!

Hmmm, booze and women, in the same photo.

I believe I approve of this blog.

"I hate every ape I see,
From Chimpan-A to Chimpan-Z."

<The Statue of Liberty rises stage rear>

"You were right,
And I was wrong.
It was Earth,
All along."

<apes cheer>

"God, I love you, Doctor Zaius!"

<curtain>

"They weren't satisfied with a bomb that could knock out a city. They finally built one with a cobalt casing, all in the sweet name of peace."

Barding is permitted. Weapons are not.

I can't order them to do what the Lawgiver has forbidden! Ape shall not kill ape!

They'll have to whack each other with saps, until their non-lethal damage exceeds their current hit points...

*I am decidedly anti-apes with weapons.

But they...!

You did it. You cut up his brain, you bloody baboon!

You did that to him, damn you! You cut out his memory! You took his identity! And that's what you want to do to me!

Take your stinking glaive-guisarme-ranseur mancatcher combi-weapons off me, you damned dirty ape!

You take your cough medicine. I'll keep burning down national monuments with my ruby eye beams while guzzling casks of Amontillado.

"For the love of God, Montressor! NOOOOOO!"

So....

Male hand or female hand?

Any takers?

There's very little difference between a male hand and a female hand.

At least, that's what I was told by my CO, when we were camped in the bush.
And if it was good enough for me, when I was a lad, then it's good enough for my privates, today!

And this contest serves as a very good platform to start oiling up...

That's the spirit, lad!

Tell me; do you like stories about gladiators...?

I literally can't write Ezren as anything other than Colonel Gentleman at the moment.

Well, of course I've had sex with my valet!

Lots of games are improved with elephant guns.
'Shadows of Yog-Sothoth' being no exception.

My God, Carruthers!
It...it speaks!

Alfred! Fetch the elephant gun!

*cough* UK is a part of EU too *cough*

Now then, now then; less of that talk.

BAN THIS BLUE FILTH!

Well, I just feel silly. I can't believe I forgot to double-check aliases. *blushes*

Don't worry; I've done that loads.

Stop it, now! This is all getting silly!
This is a serious thread, for serious people.

And on that serious note, I must point out that the Summoner gets Ride as a class skill; not something that is given willy-nilly to just every Tom, Dick and Harry.
Surely, this implies that the designers expect it to be used by the majority of the class?

The onus is really on a paladin to figure out a rationale to coexist since almost every pathfinder mission involves stealing treasure from their current owners. It is a morally gray campaign.

It's not really stealing, if the current holders of an item are a bunch of thieves, though, is it?

Donating works of cultural significance to a museum is one way of ennobling the spirit of man, to reach the pinnacle of their potential, as exemplified by the great Aroden, blessed be his name.

What smurf obsession?

STELLA!

Roooooosebuuuuud.....<clonk>

Maybe it's British thing. "Pull yourself together man and drink your tea, what what!"

I'd make the blighter dig holes, in the mid-day sun.

Depressed? I'll give him depressed. He'll be too damn tired to be depressed.

I could have been depressed, walking to el Alamein, with a full pack on my back, and no heel on my boot.
I could have been depressed, when I came home to find a doodlebug had flattened the cricket pavillion.

But no, we were built of sterner stuff.
We had lovely Vera Lynn to see us through, blue birds over the white cliffs of Dover, eh?
And Flanagan and Allan? "Who do you think you are kidding, Mister Hitler? If you think Old England's done?"

Not like today; bunch of bloody pansies the lot of 'em.
Long hair down to their collars...can't tell if they're girls or boys sometimes.

Gone to the dogs, this place has...

<snore>

That sounds mighty tempting right now.
I've been considering other people's needs for 14 years.

Are you sure you put this in the right thread?

Reading 'The Gruffalo' is one of my daily chores.

OK, just had to read 'The Gruffalo' again.

I feel as if it's an iconic creature now, like the Owlbear.
Anyone want to rustle up some stats for one?

But who is this creature with terrible claws,
And terrible teeth in its terrible jaws?
It has knobbly knees and turned-out toes,
And a poisonous wart on the end of its nose.
Its eyes are orange, its tongue is black,
It has purple prickles all over its back!

Oh, help!
Oh, no!
It's a GRUFFALO!

Could we have more adventures for those of us with kids?
Getting them fed, washed and dressed in the morning is a huge PITA that eats an hour a day, and getting them ready for bed is almost as bad.

If I have to read 'The F$~+ing Gruffalo' once more, I'll scream.

Captain Snort reporting for duty!