eats more cadbury creme eggs
YELLOW on the inside!
Although some people do say chocolate egg.
Aww...I was hoping to catch Mort again. Oh well, variety is the spice of life.
Or it's an entertainment magazine. I can never remember which.
What if we are living in a simulation, and the programmers occasionally have someone experience life on a flat Earth just to see what happens?
When we were in Kindergarten, we wanted to grow up and do adult things. Now, as adults (or "adults"), we would love to be able to take a nap and have someone give us a snack afterwards.
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Video games really exaggerate the importance of jumping in everyday life.
Your parents didn't decide to have "you". They throw a hook in the genetic ocean and pulled out whatever bit.
When people on the internet say they are "speechless", they often follow it up with a long speech.
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If you are a character in a movie and you listen to classical music, then you are either a genius, a serial killer, or a genius serial killer. There is no other option.
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Armadillos are tactical opossums.
Duck Duck Goose teaches kids how to hit and run.
"You're Pre-Qualified!" in a piece of mail translates to "We have your address!".
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More people probably know George Foreman as the grill guy rather than a boxer.
You know you are an adult when you dream about winning the lottery, and then grumble about all the taxes you would have to pay on it.
I was out with my colleague shopping for Herbal tea, so I evaded Gran's dastardly trap! Yay me!
I'll just have to fill this page up to catch you on the next one.

lisamarlene wrote: John Napier 698 wrote: Nothing quite like family. Without question. Is my sister tactless and tasteless? Frequently.
She has this obsession with calling out my mother's family's WASP insularity... they eat nothing with any kind of seasoning or spice (or flavor, to be honest) other than salt and pepper, won't try anything outside of their narrow little box, won't explore anything the rest of the world has to offer, and turn up their noses at the suggestion that it might actually be good.
Does she say so non-offensively? Of course not. She's my sister. Reminds me of my family, especially my mom who will stick pretty much to nothing but Chinese food. I think it's one of the things the older generation get(sorry if I'm insulting anyone). My Aunt is happy eating Japanese food and my Dad can be quite happy eating steaks, but too long of western cuisine(like what happened in Italy), and they'll have to find whatever passes for Chinese food in the country and eat it.
I probably have mentioned it before, but the only time I suffered from that was when I was in UK on a school trip. The salmon was over baked and dry, and they kept giving me fried fish and chips. I did try them with mash peas, and I'll say the taste is pretty unique.
But since I can toast salmon better and I can only take so much fried food...yeah I started longing for Chinese food.
And I can't believe my colleague is bringing instant noodles for her driving vacation around Europe(Germany, Switzerland, Austria, France, Netherlands if they can pack the time). But according to her, food in Europe is very expensive(I agree on that), especially in Switzerland and there's only so much European food they can take.
Though I thought the point of a vacation was to spend money?
And my mom is so bad on the Chinese food thing that she declares she can't live without rice.
I guess the Caucasian version is that you can't live without potatoes?
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I will confess that I've gotten stomachaches from eating street food from questionable sources(Singaporean stomachs su*k, they're so wimpy). Again you live only once... So live it!
"I just wanna live while I'm alive! Cos it's my life!"
Just a Mort wrote: And I can't believe my colleague is bringing instant noodles for her driving vacation around Europe(Germany, Switzerland, Austria, France, Netherlands if they can pack the time). But according to her, food in Europe is very expensive(I agree on that), especially in Switzerland and there's only so much European food they can take.
Though I thought the point of a vacation was to spend money?
While one does tend to spend money on vacation, I don't think that is the point of it.
Just a Mort wrote: And my mom is so bad on the Chinese food thing that she declares she can't live without rice.
I guess the Caucasian version is that you can't live without white bread and/or mayonnaise ?
FIFY
Tequila Sunrise wrote: I have literally never used cruise control. Ever. I don't know how it works in older cars, don't know how it works with my 2018 Fit, and it seems like a dangerous feature.
It must have its uses, but I've been driving with my foot on the gas for 18 years and I feel no particular need to learn cruise control.
#GetOffMyLawn
You sound like my Dad who has been driving his whole life with it and says cruise control probably helps drivers fall asleep more easily since they don't have to put a foot on the pedal.
So. How about those tacos? Darn tasty, right?
gran rey de los mono wrote: Just a Mort wrote: And my mom is so bad on the Chinese food thing that she declares she can't live without rice.
I guess the Caucasian version is that you can't live without white bread and/or mayonnaise ? FIFY I don't like mayonnaise but I prefer to have bread in the morning as opposed to traditional Asian breakfasts like fried noodles or noodle soup. Probably because you can eat bread faster and my morning is busy trying to finish breakfast and post in my PBP before I set off for work.
gran rey de los mono wrote: So. How about those tacos? Darn tasty, right? I like tacos? I've never tried my family on them before, but I know my aunt will take kebabs.
Also I tell people no mayo on my tacos. Seriously.
Fillet O fish from Mc Donald's? No tartar sauce.
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Just a Mort wrote: gran rey de los mono wrote: So. How about those tacos? Darn tasty, right? I like tacos? I've never tried my family on them before, but I know my aunt will take kebabs.
Also I tell people no mayo on my tacos. Seriously. WHO THE F~&& PUTS MAYONNAISE ON TACOS!!!!!??
I know what a taco is. Mayonnaise does not belong anywhere near a taco. Ya'll are weird.
We're Asian, and by some standards, it's enough to be called weird because of that.
I don't approve of people squirting mayo on anything that has raw lettuce in it and have been telling them not to do so pretty much all the time.
Oh well. I guess it's not that different from how some people over here insist on putting ranch dressing on EVERYF$!*INTHING!!! I hate ranch dressing.
The dinner I was cooking for my family was supposed to be a surprise, but the firetrucks ruined it.
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I entered what I ate today into my new fitness app and it sent an ambulance to my house.
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If you see a woman eating ice cream straight from the carton, don't ask her how she's doing.
I asked my wife what she was "burning up for dinner" and it turns out that the answer is all my worldly possessions.
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When someone tries to hand me their baby, I like to reply "No thanks, I'm not hungry".
When my wife packs me a salad for lunch I have to wonder "What did I do wrong this time?".
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My dog, Minton, ate all my shuttlecocks. Bad Minton.
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Two cheese trucks ran into each other. De brie was everywhere.
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Tea is like F5 to Mort. It's refreshing.
I'm ready to start a family in the sense that I have 8 chip clips.
If I have a faraway look on my face, I'm not thinking deep thoughts. I'm thinking about nachos.
Life doesn't hand me lemons. It fires them at me from a high-powered, multi-barreled lemon cannon.
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