Mikaze |
If Batman could make it through all that tortured logic and deduction he and Robin would pull off in the 60's TV series with his sanity intact, there's no chance some Lovecraftian mishmash monster is going to break his mind.
Also, he keeps a ring with an Elder Sign on it in the Batcave.
Just in case.
(for kids, big bad monsters are made to be knocked out)
Ashe Ravenheart |
Exactly. Batman has a plan for EVERYTHING. Meaning, the cultists wouldn't even get to summon Cthulhu in the first place.
But, in the event that they somehow succeeded in summoning him, Batman would make Cthulhu his b%@&~. I mean, the man has single-handedly taken down Superman AND the Justice League, plus fought his way back from time-displacement via Darkseid's Omega eye-flutters.
KnightErrantJR |
My friends two sons, 12 and 8 just asked me who would win, batman or Cthulu. I felt I need help with this one, My money is on Cthulu in a strait up fight, but if Batman was just trying to stop cthulu's cult I would say Batman.
Version One: Cthulhu wins. This is what happens when any reasonable writer tackles the story.
Version Two: Grant Morrison writes the story. Batman does "experiments" to "let him view things from different perspectives" like when he was "researching" Joker's point of view.
He realizes that there is some world where H.P. Lovecraft invented Cthulhu, and spends a year long crossover (with at least four issues that don't seem to even tie into the main story) looking for a plot device that allows him to talk to H.P. Lovecraft and convince him not to create Cthulhu.
Then we would find out there was some spirit of oppressive evil that no one had ever heard of and would make a magic book that would capture the spirit of oppressive evil and then it would turn out that some relative of Bruce Wayne in the past actually invented Cthulhu.
KnightErrantJR |
Exactly. Batman has a plan for EVERYTHING. Meaning, the cultists wouldn't even get to summon Cthulhu in the first place.
I wish the link wasn't broken, but that's essentially how Jaime Lannister won versus Cthulhu when GRRM wrote his blurb on how Jaime could win in the big sci fi/fantasy villain brawl at Suduvu.
The Purity of Violence |
Cthulhu isn't an Outer God, so there's no Call/dismiss Cthulhu spell. Bats can beat up cultists all night long, but that ain't going to stop the stars being right.
Now Bats will be able to deduce when said stars will be right, and should be able to convince Supes or some other cosmic level hero that some of said stars, namely the unihabited ones, might be extinguished or something, which might put a crimp in the rising of R'lyeh. And if that doesn't work then Bats can probably be on hand with an elder sign to stop the Big C emerging.
But if it comes down to Mano on GreatOldOneo, I figure Bats can probably make his SAN roll, and if he has a 22 or greater DEX he gets to go first! As long as he can have preplanned how to do the
(for kids, big bad monsters are made to be knocked out)
(For humanity there is no hope, might as well face facts...)
Kthulhu |
Exactly. Batman has a plan for EVERYTHING.
What's always amusing to me is how seriously Batman fanboys take the comic, when it long ago descended into self-parody (albeit one that retains a darker edge than the Adam West TV show). I mean, c'mon...
In an issue of Gotham Adventures, a criminal "artist" named Kim escapes from Arkham and begins leaving clues at crime scenes in a manner reminiscent of the Riddler. Riddler is furious that someone is stealing his gimmick and tracks Kim down himself. As they fight, Riddler asks what all the "clues" were supposed to mean. Kim reveals that they were actually references to an art film by foreign director, and he was merely making an artistic statement. Riddler rants about how that is completely pointless, as nobody will ever understand such a reference, and the entire point of leaving clues is to give your opponent a fighting chance. Whereupon Batman shows up and reveals that he understood the clues just fine. When asked why he would watch unknown films and memorize the biographical information of their directors, Batman replied "In case I had to."
Tell me that's not delved so far into self-parody that basically any claim about Batman's "Crazy Prepared" superpower should be discounted.
Spanky the Leprechaun |
Exactly. Batman has a plan for EVERYTHING. Meaning, the cultists wouldn't even get to summon Cthulhu in the first place.
But, in the event that they somehow succeeded in summoning him, Batman would make Cthulhu his b!!%*. I mean, the man has single-handedly taken down Superman AND the Justice League, plus fought his way back from time-displacement via Darkseid's Omega eye-flutters.
Batman'd prolly wup C'thulhu.
Just not Conan.Zombieneighbours |
The smitter wrote:My friends two sons, 12 and 8 just asked me who would win, batman or Cthulu. I felt I need help with this one, My money is on Cthulu in a strait up fight, but if Batman was just trying to stop cthulu's cult I would say Batman.Version One: Cthulhu wins. This is what happens when any reasonable writer tackles the story.
Version Two: Grant Morrison writes the story. Batman does "experiments" to "let him view things from different perspectives" like when he was "researching" Joker's point of view.
He realizes that there is some world where H.P. Lovecraft invented Cthulhu, and spends a year long crossover (with at least four issues that don't seem to even tie into the main story) looking for a plot device that allows him to talk to H.P. Lovecraft and convince him not to create Cthulhu.
Then we would find out there was some spirit of oppressive evil that no one had ever heard of and would make a magic book that would capture the spirit of oppressive evil and then it would turn out that some relative of Bruce Wayne in the past actually invented Cthulhu.
I think I would rather read said immaginary grant morrison comic than most of the drivel written about batman ;) Through wayne would need to change his name to Gideon Stargrave, and where a white suit through out the comic.
Lazaro |
And of course we have to consider which Bat it is. Are we talking Bruce? Cause heck yeah Bats wins. Now if we're talking current Bat... Well Dick is in WHOLE lotta trouble.
Edit*
JMD031 |
Cthulhu could've eaten Batman when he was just a baby...actually I'm sure Cthulhu could even now bend time to eat the baby bat!
True, but Batman could go back into time and stop this from happening...because for some reason when there is time travel involved, there is always time to save yourself in the past.
Also,
Batman would win using his Cthulhu-repellent spray
This...a thousand times this. As soon as I saw this topic this is what I was thinking about. What is even more strange is that my gaming group brought up the Bat Shark Repellant in conversation this weekend.
Xabulba |
Batman (the real Batman not some Dick Grayson), would get killed really quickly. Then through a series of very bad and cliché plot devices he would be resurrected and then beat Cthulhu. Afterwards he will mope around the Wayne mansion brooding, b$&~$ing and moaning to Alfred about how he couldn't beat Cthulhu the first time.
Xabulba |
OK OK picturing this Celebrity Deathmatch, I was wondering: How would Superman react?
Can we give any estimates at all without thinking about all the various factors that might affect such a duel?
Cthulhu is made of green Kryptonite so Supes would be curled up in the fetal postion and crying for his earth-momma.