From Hamlet I:i
Some say that ever 'gainst that season comes
Wherein our Saviour's birth is celebrated,
The bird of dawning singeth all night long:
And then, they say, no spirit dares stir abroad;
The nights are wholesome; then no planets strike,
No fairy takes, nor witch hath power to charm,
So hallow'd and so gracious is the time.
Thomas Hardy's "The Oxen":
Christmas Eve, and twelve of the clock.
"Now they are all on their knees,"
An elder said as we sat in a flock
By the embers in hearthside ease.
We pictured the meek mild creatures where
They dwelt in their strawy pen,
Nor did it occur to one of us there
To doubt they were kneeling then.
So fair a fancy few would weave
In these years! Yet, I feel,
If someone said on Christmas Eve,
"Come; see the oxen kneel,
"In the lonely barton by yonder coomb
Our childhood used to know,"
I should go with him in the gloom,
Hoping it might be so.
There once was a man from Nantucket...
...just kidding.
It's only a temp ban for a month!!
Hell, I have banned myself for longer than that. Twice.
Yes, but the irony is they win themselves.
I suppose that depends on your intent. If you wanted to make people miss you, then yes, it is not the same.
Roses are red
Violets are blue
The voices in your head
Aren't talking to you
Roses are red
Violets are blue
The voices in your head
Aren't talking to you
How did you know about the voices? Are they talking to you?
Birdie, birdie,
In the sky.
Why'd you do that in my eye?
I won't wail, and I won't cry,
But I'm sure glad elephants don't fly.
Roses are red
Violets are blue
This line doesn't rhyme
And neither does this one.
Timmie was a chemist
Now Timmie is no more
What Timmie thought was H2O
Was H2S04
My Haikus are crap
They always have the same flaw
They and in too many syllables.
Now all we need are some Green Eggs & Ham.....
Confucious say:
Man who run in front of car get tired.
Man who run behind car gets exhausted.
Man who is sent to doghouse will go to cat house.
Man who can catch flies with chop sticks should look for better restaurant.
A lion will not betray his wife. But a Tiger Wood.
Children in back seat of car cause accidents.
Accidents in back seat of car cause children.
Man who sleeps on bed of nails is holy man.
Woman who go camping must beware of evil intent.
Man who cooks carrots and peas in same pot, very unsanitary.
Man who stand on toilet, high on pot.
Man who live in glass house, buy lots of Windex.
Roses are red
Violets are blue
Why does management
Have no clue?
Sorry, "s"s added to Japanese words drive me batty.
Ninjas too.
passes through thread like a faint summer breeze
Roses are red, special edition with editor's comment!
Roses are red*
Violets are blue**
Sugar is sweet***
And so are you
*Actually, that's not quite true, now is it? They can be red. But they can also be white, yellow, orange, pink, among others. Starting this poem with such a crass overgeneralisation sets the tone as condescending and prejudiced from the get go.
Orignally, this whole thing was part of a larger poem about the fairy queen titania, who bathed with roses, which just happened to be red.
**Just like with roses, this is another overgeneralisation, and a stupid one to boot. Something that's called violet should be violet, that's why it's called violet.
Originally, this was "the violets blew", but I guess they had to change that when too many prepuberscent teenagers changed the poet into "violets blew, and so will you" and similar things.
***While sugar is sweet, it is important to note that it will also make you fat and rot your teeth, until you partake in it only in moderation. Now I don't know about your intentions towards the lady in question, but when I'm at the poem-writing stage, I don't want to occasionally spend time with her, in moderation. Furthermore, implying that your beloved is something better enjoyed only occasionally is liable to leave a decidedly sour aftertaste in her mouth, and will definitely not win you her goodwill.
Beyond that, implaying that she has negative effects on you is a bad thing, too. Better leave that to the angry letter you write to her after she dumps you.
All in all, this poem is more insulting than everything else, just veiled in "sweet" nonsense: It starts by insinuating that the lady better complies to some standards ("You better be red, rose!"), imply that she's conniving and arrogant ("So you all yourself 'violet', eh? Get off your high horse, you're just blue"), and then compare her to something you don't want to be overexposed to lest it's bad for your health. After the previous insults, that will definitely be the killing stroke for all your hopes.
The flower comparison is decidedly shallow, too. Roses, once picked (and you usually give bouquets of picked flowers to girls, not potted plants) will quickly wither and die. You basically tell her from the start that you don't think that whatever you want to start with her will last very long.
I think it's important to get a more sensible comparison, like a potato. A potato is solid, it's long lasting. It won't die after a week or so, you can store them for months. They're versatile, too, and really useful, not just something decorative. And if you plant one into the ground, it will grow and multiply. By comparing your beloved to a potato, you tell her that she's more than just a pretty ornament to be thrown away in short order, that you order her abilities, and that you think that what you start will last and even grow!
Roses are red
Violets are blue
I'm schizophrenic
And so am I