originally written by net persona 'abcdef54321'
(from CNN.com)
"...Women want a home, children, a family life, a network of friends, a social life, and romantic intimacy with a male partner who wants the same things she does. There are three denominations of Romance popular among American women right now.
1. The Princess is in search of her knight in shining armor, her Lancelot, her Prince Charming, who is THE ONE. THE ONE is the man that fate, destiny, God, or Fortuna has designed just for her. He loves what she loves. He wants to spend time with her, listen to her, and tend to her needs. He will fulfill his mission as sire of her brood and will be an attentive and loving father.
2. The Cosmo Girl wants it all: education, house, marriage, career, travel, fun, lots of friends, a social life, dancing, tea with the girlfriends, exercise, vacations, kids, popularity, lovely clothes, deep emotional discussions with everyone she knows, the approval of all, success ... and the Cosmo Guy who adores her and who will love every one of the "Eighteen Ways To Please Your Man In Bed."
3. The Nester wants a home and kids and a family. A husband is necessary for all that to happen. He has to bring home the paycheck, impregnate her the desired number of times, and function as her assistant at home: mowing, trimming, painting, vacuuming, barbecuing, washing the car, and picking up dog poop. His personality is not that important as long as he does his job.
The problem is that American men simply do not fall into any of those categories. As I read them back to myself, I felt repelled by each of them. I can see the benefit to women in hooking up with one of those three characters, but I don't want to be one. I have thought about becoming gay, but hell I don't like men either. They are all jerks."
Mr. Fishy read that and smiled a fishy smile...Mr. Fishy's Trollop reads romance [supernatural romance.] So Mr. Fishy has to be an unrealistic shell of a Ken doll and a vampire/werewolf/half fey/demon hunter...Mr. Fishy doesn't have that kind of free time. Mr. Fishy listens to his trollop all the time she never stops talking. Mr. Fishy thinks she talk to help her remember to breathe.
Mr. Fishy likes the idea of Manniage. That's wear a man "marries" his best friend. You get to live with your best buddy and if you bring a drunk chick home he high fives you on the way by. Plus he understands why you took that picture.
The only problem is eventually your going to run out of food and clean clothes and TP. You'll eat bacon and pizza at every, wait the bacon and pizza is a good thing.
Women want a home, children, a family life, a network of friends, a social life, and romantic intimacy with a male partner who wants the same things she does.
Well, to be fair, I don't think all women fit into these three categories either. In fact, I find that anyone who tries to fit people into two or three categories is typically missing something.
There are two kinds of people in this world: Those who like sports, and those who don't. (What about the people who are just indifferent?)
There are three kinds of people in this world: The ones that watch things happen; the ones that make things happen, and the ones who look around ad say what happened. (What about the people who don't care what happened?)
There are basically four kinds of people: cop-outs, hold-outs, drop-outs, and all-outs. (What about the people who tend to freak out?)
I mention these because we so often want to place people in little boxes where they don't fit, and often when we do so, we make the people who don't fit feel isolated and alone. I think your experience highlights this quite well. If you're not one of these men (or women), there's something either wrong with you, or the people looking at you.
I have limited faith in the psychometric insights that cnn.com has to offer. Certainly, "abcdef54321" has learned much of human nature, but to pidgeonhole the entire female gender into these three roles is... silly.
Where's the Warrior Woman? The Prime Minister? The Conniving B!@~!? The Nerd Girl? The Crafty One?
It is a sad day when *I* know more about women than someone being paid to write about them.
I find the more a person paid to write about something writes something, the more I end up knowing more about the subject than the person writing about it.
Does the article have their contact information?
1. The Princess is in search of her knight in shining armor, her Lancelot, her Prince Charming, who is THE ONE. THE ONE is the man that fate, destiny, God, or Fortuna has designed just for her. He loves what she loves. He wants to spend time with her, listen to her, and tend to her needs. He will fulfill his mission as sire of her brood and will be an attentive and loving father.
Being the sire of her brood is a mission? Do I get XP for that? What CR is that? Are there attack rolls involved? What happens if I miss? What about skill checks? Do I get to take 20? Are there consequences for failure?
Who will polish that shining armour? Armour doesn't stay shiny by itself.
At least nobody mentions a white charger or anything. I could probably live with a dog, and cats are OK, too, but horses?
And the part where he loves what she loves: As long as she loves what I love (which includes me, of course ;-)), that could work. Some me time would still be needed, though.
And any kind of vegan only diet is a total deal breaker.
And one thing has to be made perfectly clear from the get go: The maximum number I'll rescue her from some prickly turtle will be exactly 1! I don't mind some... roleplaying behind closed doors, but if it involves a weirdo in a sick costume who "abducts" her all the time, she had better decide what she wants: Her knight in shining armour or her freak in a dark castle.
And no whining I spend too much time keeping my armour shiny. I didn't want that part (plus, everyone can look good in expensive full plate) but she insisted, and if I have to wear that, I won't do a half-hearted job of it.
2. The Cosmo Girl wants it all: education, house, marriage, career, travel, fun, lots of friends, a social life, dancing, tea with the girlfriends, exercise, vacations, kids, popularity, lovely clothes, deep emotional discussions with everyone she knows, the approval of all, success ... and the Cosmo Guy who adores her and who will love every one of the "Eighteen Ways To Please Your Man In Bed."
That's a big, confusing list. I think some of these things are redundant. I'm sure the tea with the girlfriends thing is part of a social life, and the clothes and house will come with that career, not to speak of success.
However, that Eighteen Ways To Please Your Man In Bed stuff sounds interesting. Can we start with that and work our way upwards to the other stuff? (Incidentally, someone who knows that stuff will probably have no problem with the popularity).
But why 18? Did that number up by accident? Who decided? Was it a periodical, and after 18 issues they came up with something else? Is there a follow-up (hey, I think ahead).
It does sound a bit weird, though. The rest of that Cosmo Girl talk speaks of a woman who's on top of the world, and suddenly all she wants to do when she gets a guy is go through a tally sheet about his needs? I mean, it doesn't quite fit. After that barrage of things that are probably supposed to sound superficial (at least some of them), you'd have expected that she wants him to learn the Eighteen Ways To Please Your Woman In Bed." Or is this advertising again? You won't hear about that part until after you've signed the prenup, and then, when you get a bad feeling, you go back to that and read the fine print, and you find that those gossip stories about Hollywood stars and their sex contracts was tame compared to this?
3. The Nester wants a home and kids and a family. A husband is necessary for all that to happen. He has to bring home the paycheck, impregnate her the desired number of times, and function as her assistant at home: mowing, trimming, painting, vacuuming, barbecuing, washing the car, and picking up dog poop. His personality is not that important as long as he does his job.
Can't we just do that success stuff and hire someone to do that stuff? In case of someone washing the car, I vote for a neighbourhood girl who needs some money for college and will wash my car. In a white shirt.
Beyond that, it's one of those funny statements: "His personality is not that important as long as he does his job." Sounds like "you can do whatever you want, but I decide what you want", you know what I mean? We're talking about a guy who does his job. I can see barbecuing (at least that doesn't sound like she will insist on the vegan option), and stuff like mowing and walking the dog (since we'll be living in the country, we can just leave the d+*~+@~ where it drops, nobody will care. They don't for the damn h&*~@#*#*, either), but vacuuming? I think we need to renegotiate that. And painting? That is so frequent it needs to be mentioned?
I don't mind painting the house (though, actually, I prefer to earn enough to be able to afford someone who comes and does it for me, should be more profitable, too) every now and then, but this sounds like she feels like a prisoner in the house unless the walls are painted so frequently that you need some fast-drying paint. Sorry, but if you want to be b~&%&@~ about the wall's colour, you can do it yourself. I'll be out doing overtime so we can afford all that expensive paint. Can't you just develop a mild addictive habit? That sounds less expensive? Collect something religiously.
Or, if you want to paint - learn to paint metal miniatures. I have plenty that are still metal coloured. You can paint them all. And we'll get more of the stuff, too. I might have to take up playing Warhammer on the side to support your habit, but I'll do it for you!
The problem is that American men simply do not fall into any of those categories.
That's okay. Men are human, and humans have this disgusting habit of not quite fitting any cliché.
I think those examples sound like big clichés, too. I guess it takes a cliché male to fit cliché female. Otherwise the cultures don't mix or something.
As I read them back to myself, I felt repelled by each of them.
I don't know, parts of it sounded okay. I think the whole deal is negotiable, especially when if turns out that they deviate from the standard as well.
I have thought about becoming gay, but hell I don't like men either. They are all jerks."
Them having penises instead of vaginas and the generally not-being-attrictive-to-me part has always been a huge turn-off for me in regards to becoming gay.
The all men being jerks part is not so bad, since if we're talking about generalisations, it should probably be said that if all men are jerks, all women are b$$~~es or something. Though I think it's better if one of the women comes out and actually says that part (that above was only a conditional clause, an if-when scenario. I didn't actually state that all women are b#+@+es, and I don't think that, either), so I won't be lynched by Nesting Cosmo Princesses.
All in all such articles are humorous to read, but won't survive contact with the real world.
There are two kinds of people in this world: Those who like sports, and those who don't. (What about the people who are just indifferent?)
Well, as you said, the indifferent ones don#t like sports. They don't dislike it, either, but that was not the question :P
There are three kinds of people in this world: The ones that watch things happen; the ones that make things happen, and the ones who look around ad say what happened. (What about the people who don't care what happened?)
And what about the ones that happen to other people?
There are basically four kinds of people: cop-outs, hold-outs, drop-outs, and all-outs. (What about the people who tend to freak out?)
Or the lights-outs. You know them: You want to talk to them, but you think nobody's there, because all the lights in the head are out.
I'm more of a figure-out, I'd say.
And you forgot something:
There are 10 kinds of people in the world: Those who understand binary, and those who don't.
I mention these because we so often want to place people in little boxes where they don't fit, and often when we do so, we make the people who don't fit feel isolated and alone. I think your experience highlights this quite well. If you're not one of these men (or women), there's something either wrong with you, or the people looking at you.
I could play the smart-alec and say that those who complain about being put into little boxes where they don't fit are those who don't fit big time.
Do you watch House?