Dr. Abby Normal's page

6 posts. Alias of Andrew Turner.




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What's more likely: supposed alien encounters are actual aliens; or just human time travelers?

originally written by net persona 'abcdef54321'
"...Women want a home, children, a family life, a network of friends, a social life, and romantic intimacy with a male partner who wants the same things she does. There are three denominations of Romance popular among American women right now.

1. The Princess is in search of her knight in shining armor, her Lancelot, her Prince Charming, who is THE ONE. THE ONE is the man that fate, destiny, God, or Fortuna has designed just for her. He loves what she loves. He wants to spend time with her, listen to her, and tend to her needs. He will fulfill his mission as sire of her brood and will be an attentive and loving father.

2. The Cosmo Girl wants it all: education, house, marriage, career, travel, fun, lots of friends, a social life, dancing, tea with the girlfriends, exercise, vacations, kids, popularity, lovely clothes, deep emotional discussions with everyone she knows, the approval of all, success ... and the Cosmo Guy who adores her and who will love every one of the "Eighteen Ways To Please Your Man In Bed."

3. The Nester wants a home and kids and a family. A husband is necessary for all that to happen. He has to bring home the paycheck, impregnate her the desired number of times, and function as her assistant at home: mowing, trimming, painting, vacuuming, barbecuing, washing the car, and picking up dog poop. His personality is not that important as long as he does his job.

The problem is that American men simply do not fall into any of those categories. As I read them back to myself, I felt repelled by each of them. I can see the benefit to women in hooking up with one of those three characters, but I don't want to be one. I have thought about becoming gay, but hell I don't like men either. They are all jerks."

Straight men have ways around all this with comments like...

"Did you get a haircut?" trans. "Your hair is nice."
"Nice tie." trans. "That tie goes well with your outfit and matches your eyes."
"New suit?" trans. "New suit?"

Other (sexist) similarities:

Woman: "What a beautiful kitchen! The dishes and drapes match your eyes!"

Man: "Nice car, dude! Green suits you."

My book, How to Understand the Mouth-Breathers: A Psychological Study of Men Who Love Pancakes and the Women Who Wish They'd Spend Less Time Doing Man-Things, goes on sale at B. Dalton's this Friday.

Here be me.