BP does stand for British Petroleum, no? And you know who the British used to own? Canada! That's who..
Clearly the Canadians are behind this oil rig thing in an attempt to soften us up for an impending invasion from the north.
Better dust of your tooks, folks. At least there will be plenty of beer and curling under the new world order.
In and Out Burgers are laced with drugs to make you addicted to them so you will keep coming back.Well there was that KFC that was selling Marijuana through the drive thru.
KFC has nothing on my chicken.
My cows are staring at me.
Tin foil makers promote alien conspiracy theories to increase sales.
Cows are AT-ATs for tiny aliens.
I'm going to give mice little wooden sleds with spools of thread and fishing hooks and let them go to town.
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I'm actually working media response for the oil spill right now, and I've come across a few theories sent in by people, which blame meteors striking the oil rig, Obama's administration and a North Korean torpedo attack. The worst one so far was from a guy who insinuated the 11 missing rig workers had something to do with it.
By the way, the SWAT teams mentioned in the article are most likely a wild misconception brought about by the use of the acronym SWOT, which stands for Strengths, Weaknesses, Opportunities, and Threats. A SWOT team is a group of investigators who analyze business ventures, not a heavily armed police task force. They really ought to not use that acronym for situations like this.
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I'm actually working media response for the oil spill right now, and I've come across a few theories sent in by people, which blame meteors striking the oil rig, Obama's administration and a North Korean torpedo attack. The worst one so far was from a guy who insinuated the 11 missing rig workers had something to do with it.
And now, the official cause is a huge cloud of gas was released and engulfed the platform. It then exploded at the same moment a celebration of the platforms 7 year safety history was taking place.
I suppose this is the new websters definition of irony.
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In keeping with the thread, perhaps Cthulu conspired to fart at that exact moment, his minions having arranged the celebration.
Ford is responsible for the sudden acceleration problems in the Toyota vehicles.
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The latest Deepwater Horizon conspiracy theory to come into the media office...
In Austin TX 100 autos were hacked into and the cars were stopped by going through their
black boxes.
Could your equipment in the Gulf been hacked into and caused the explosion. This company
has had an honorable record.
IN Louisana, the Governor investigated some corruption in the Government, ie Acorn. It appears
all the Governors that have gulf water ways has Republican Governors.
The green Czar, Vance Jones, which was appointed by Obama, has a Federal inmate back ground.
This would be the perfect crime and he could get by with murder if he had contacts from the Federal
prison? hack into this system.
Also, another fellow who is doing business with Obama, is Bill Ayers. He blew up some stuff at the
Pentagon in Washington DC several years ago. He may have contacts to do evil stuff to your
company. Also, the EPA which is against drilling off shore, along with the Joyce Foundation and
all of their buddies could have been envolved.
We would be very disappointed here in America if some of this action was by these liberal left wing
people. Wrong is wrong. Contact Scotland yards, if you indeed have proof of a hacker setting
this oil rig off.
The Texas Rangers would assist too, we have gulf of Mexico water front property too.
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This one is my favorite because it is 100% unprovable but 100% true. The various conspiracy theories about Area 51 can all be traced back to one source, the U.S. government. You see, so long as they can keep people busy chasing aliens and UFOs and such it distracts a good percentage of the population away from what the government really doesn't want you knowing about.
HAHAHA!
The French created Dr. Double Honors Ph.D. to destroy the world economy.
The real reason that the Catholic Church is anti-abortion and against gays adopting babies is because the church uses all of the excess babies dropped off at their orphanages to make a delicious baby stew, which the church serves to the homeless every Christmas in order to convert them to Catholicism, creating a Catholic hobo army. They are doing this to counter a similar campaign being waged by the Muslims in the middle-east. These two campaigns will culminate with the great Hobo wars of 2021, alternatively known as Bum Fights 2: Electric Boogaloo .
Mustard!
Mustard is actually the carved-off flesh of a shapeless, extradimensional tyrant, rendered into spreadable form. By consuming it, you make yourself susceptible to his mental insinuations. Eventually, when enough people have fallen under its control, it can move forward with its master plan to enslave humanity and finally wipe out all traces of its archrival - ketchup.
So, when you poor bastards have fallen under the sway of our future condiment overlord, don't say I didn't warn you.