I think you tend to start off on the right foot, with really neat fantasy-objects that are activated in cool ways, but the end functions (what the item is actually used for) aren't always as strong. Looking back at older entries (Thorn Shirt, Seaweed Greaves) you DO have some awesome effects, though sometimes confusing in execution. Maybe you're trying to be more conservative now?
[...]
Maybe that last post just caught you on a good day, but I think your item flavor and imagery are about as good as they could be. The actual effect is what you need to work on.
I think with my comments yesterday I was more grumpy than helpful ( note: don't do reviewing when you can't sleep at 4am), so I wanted to point out that what Nicolas just said was exactly what I meant to say: Great visuals, innovative ideas, but room for improvement on the effects side of things.
If my tone went down to the bad side i appologize :)
Based on Curaigh did I also wanted to try something different. An Item that falls into as many bad item stereotypes as possible without becoming a really bad or gag item.
I think I managed quite a few.
Cookies for everyone who finds all of them.
An early happy halloween for everybody else.
I'd say you succeeded, it's not 'really bad', but there are a lot of places where dodging those bad-item-stereotypes would have made it better. Most notably I think the flavor blurb and the greater-version are wasted words and don't add much (your hand gaining a poisonous bite attack is really cool, but it would be better if you made the decision to or not to add that to the core item). I would also choose either one mode of movement or the other (though, climb/walk would be fine. But levitate/walk just feels like it doesn't know what it wants to be; is it a floating glowing hand or a scurrying spider-hand?)
You probably realize all this and were just seeing how good you could make it in spite, but I'm saying it just the same. :)
. Most notably I think the flavor blurb and the greater-version are wasted words and don't add much (your hand gaining a poisonous bite attack is really cool, but it would be better if you made the decision to or not to add that to the core item). I would also choose either one mode of movement or the other (though, climb/walk would be fine. But levitate/walk just feels like it doesn't know what it wants to be; is it a floating glowing hand or a scurrying spider-hand?)You probably realize all this and were just seeing how good you could make it in spite, but I'm saying it just the same. :)
Yeah. Interesting thing is that these exact two things were pretty late additions, when I was just trying to squeeze some more Stereotypes in and already dancing on the graves of the wordcount and tightness of theme.
Did you catch all the Stereotypes I was deliberately using ( or even ones I did fall prone to without noticing) ?
At first glance I see creature-as-an-item, backstory, multiple items as one item, and trying to do too much/piling-on-powers. You also formatted the requirements wrong and left "ZZ" in weight but I'm not sure if that was on purpose or not. =p
well the ZZ was an actual oversight...
there are some more, but they are less obvious and not so much auto-rejects but more often seen stereotypes that the judges don't seem to be fond of. (But maybe we'll see them as auto-rejects too. Sean has about 40 of them after all ;) )
And many of them are more in the likely applications of the item than the item itself.
*sigh* ate my post...
meh it was too long any way :) Suffice it to say these were intended as an exercise and not something serious (I think I did all three in one afternoon :)*thanks thanks thanks
*dowser rod is a forked stick
*Disney? Disney?!? Why of all the @#$^&#... oh? a compliment? OK :)
*yes Nick spin spin spin (until you get a hit, then move 30 & try again :)
*Chalk of the giggling gnomish cleric! duly noted :) (original is a riff on NSpicer's naming plan. :)
*casketeer was a nod to Christine's arcane anvil and AD&D's mixing potion mishaps. The boring part is what Clark described as auto-trapfinding-robot-to-mitigate-danger-to-my-PC...
Again these were not intended as my best work, but I appreciate the note on visuals (I write fiction a lot) versus mechanics (Even my non-gaming mate says I tend to over complicate things.) I will put more effort into smoothing out the mechanics of any actual entry. Honestly I think that is something a second reader will help with (it makes sense in here!)
& A, no offense taken :)
Don't ask me why I said Disney. It could probably be any movie; I think I said Disney because I thought of Pocahontis with the compass/the "spinning arrow" (even though I swear I haven't seen that movie in at least ten years).
Based on Curaigh did I also wanted to try something different. An Item that falls into as many bad item stereotypes as possible without becoming a really bad or gag item.
I think I managed quite a few.
Cookies for everyone who finds all of them.
An early happy halloween for everybody else.** The wearer of the bracelet of the Five-legged spider can literally twist the hand on which the bracelet is worn of his wrist, loosing use of the hand and all magic items worn on it.**...
Nice A.
Take a look at the above 35-word sentence. If you can tighten that into 20 I think you will have it. I know this was an exercise, so that is my only real comment. as for the cookie competition...
Ok, another exercise. This time I take on both Curaighs finger of death item assignment and Hydros combining 2 spells assignment.
This is what I came up with
[b]Aura moderate necromancy and conjuration (evil); CL 13th
Price[/b] 6666 gp; Weight ---.
The head of this +2 arrow looks like a ragged, sharp cocoon. For 3 rounds after a Swarmseed Arrow hit a flesh-bearing creature insects can be seen and felt crawling under the targets skin. This sensation, albeit being unsettling does not harm or hinder the target in any way, it merely hints at the things to come. After the 3 rounds pass, a hungry, fiendish army ant swarm erupts from the targets body. The target takes 130 Points of damage, unless it succeeds on a DC 20 Fortitude saving throw, in which case it only takes 3d6+13 points of damage. The swarm is in no way controlled and continues to attack for 13 rounds before breaking up. If the Target died from the eruption of the swarm, a fresh cocoon can be found in the targets corpse that lowers the cost to create a new Swarmseed arrow by 15%. The eruption of the swarm can only be avoided if the infested creature is the target of a heal, remove disease , restoration or similar spell in the 3 round onset time.
Requirements craft magic arms and armor, finger of death, vomit swarm Cost 3337 gp
Note: Originally the summoned swarm was not fiendish, but after typing some formulas into my calculator I came up with a price of 6666.02 Gp , without reduction for the delayed effect. So I pushed in the template as an bonus to keep the price ;)
and a nice and quick item that complements it (partial writeup)
Swarmseed Arrow, fake
This Arrow is made to resemble a Swarmseed Arrow, put on closer inspection you see that the Arrowtip looks like a Moths cocoon rather than one of a flesh-eating insect. For 3 rounds after a creature is hit by the arrow it feels insects crwaling under its skin, but unlike a Swarmseed arrow this sensation is just an illusion ( Will DC 14 negates) and no swarm will erupt from the targets body.
Ok, another exercise. This time I take on both Curaighs finger of death item assignment and Hydros combining 2 spells assignment.
This is what I came up with
** spoiler omitted **and a nice and quick item that complements it (partial writeup)
** spoiler omitted **...
Nice, I am reluctant to add anything other than the usual re-write for clarification as it is a fun item. I wanted to add concentration checks for the illusion swarm. I would have gone with wasps myself as...
The tip of this arrow is made of layered-paper and looks like the nest of hornets. The angry buzzing eminating from it as flies through the air increases in pitch and frenzy when it hits the target.
This is close to something I am actually working on though, so I will leave it at that :)
I really like the recovered cocoon aspect. Nice job.
Yea, kickass item. I like the slow onset because it gives the target one more chance at survival, because it makes it less of an auto-win at low levels, and because it encourages hit-and-run tactics (plant the arrow, then wait it out).
I just wanted to drop in and tell you that I got around to playtest the swarmseed arrows in this weeks game. They were used by an Antipaladin /Holy Vindicator, who kicked some serious ass.
The Character who was hit by the arrow didn't know anything about what hit him. His Reactions were somewhat like this:
Round 0: Ok, the big bad guy with the heavy bow and the dangerous-looking arrow just hit me and only dealt a moderate amount of damage. somehow I was expecting more...
Round 1: WTF? Insects crawling under my Skin?? whats going on.
Round 2: Gah! it's getting worse.. whatcannidoaboutit? *rummages in his backpack* (Note: especially the fact that he didn't get any damage or penalties unsettled him)
Round 3: *finds a scroll of remove disease* Hope that helps...
Round 4: Phew!
I really like that the item had great effect,even without seeing it's main ability in action and that the player got the right idea about what to do to save himself without knowing the item.
Some things (beside a swarm of flesh-eating insects that was crawling beneath his skin) might have tipped him off, that something bad was about to happen.
1. the Antipaladin mostly ignored the character, treating him as already beaten and he teased the other PCs that they should be helping their friend instead of fighting him.
2. One of the players ( my GF) knew of the arrows, but didn't spoil all the fun. Her reaction to my description of the spreading "infection was something like this: " You didn't... Are you crazy? you don't even know if it's balanced. Do you want to kill him? ..."
The best thing though: The antipaladin got away, so they will have ample opportunity to get to know more of these (and the fake ones).
And they did get some of these ( 2 real ones and 2 fake ones) off the AntiPally before he got away.
You both missed some of the stereotypes I aimed for with the bracelet of the five legged spider but their applications were more subtle, sometimes even only hinting at the stereotype. If I get the time i will make a list. With examples how the Stereotype would have been more obvious ( and the item worse)
Hope you're all working on your first real submission prototypes ;)
Her reaction to my description of the spreading "infection was something like this: " You didn't... Are you crazy? you don't even know if it's balanced. Do you want to kill him? ..."
Aww man, that's pure gold. Next time I playtest a monster I need to get my gf (or another "plant") to say this.
I think I have my RPGS submission already. I'm fiddling with the details and description to make it as polished as possible, but I'm fairly happy with it. If I don't make the cut, it will be because other people's ideas were totally awesome, not because mine wasn't good.
Her reaction to my description of the spreading "infection was something like this: " You didn't... Are you crazy? you don't even know if it's balanced. Do you want to kill him? ..."Aww man, that's pure gold. Next time I playtest a monster I need to get my gf (or another "plant") to say this.
I think I have my RPGS submission already. I'm fiddling with the details and description to make it as polished as possible, but I'm fairly happy with it. If I don't make the cut, it will be because other people's ideas were totally awesome, not because mine wasn't good.
Agreed! the best ghost story teller I ever heard had plants for a few of us to scream at an innocous word. Even on the 4th or 5th time hearing it I remember jumping clean off the mattress.
Priceless!
Okay, having found this thread, I will submit some of my ideas for wondrous items, because apparently this does not break the rules on anonymity. Understand these items are those I don't feel are _quite_ up to snuff for the contest, though I do feel like they are completely "ready" in terms of word count, formatting, etc. None of these will be my final entry (I am pretty sure what that's going to be, unless I find something too similar among the previous contest entries.) I am including my word count and price formula for consideration and convenience, though I won't for the actual entry. Still, it will be very nice to have some feedback from my fellow Paizoians. Thanks in advance. And special thanks to Azmahel for taking the time to review our items!
Aura: faint divination. CL: 7th. Slot: None. Price: 5,600 gp. Weight: 2 pounds.
Description:
This rune-scribed mithral handsaw is magically sharp and durable, halving the time and effort to cut any wood, or complete any carpentry project. Once a day, the owner can benefit from an augury spell by sawing a length of wood in two, and examining the sawn ends for runes. One of four runes will appear in the cut end of the wood, corresponding to one of the four outcomes of the spell. If used instead of the standard focus while casting augury or divination, the saw doubles these spells’ foresight, allowing them to see twice as far into the future. It also halves the casting time of these spells. An augury saw is the same size and weight as a short sword, but it makes a poor melee weapon (-4 to attacks, half damage).
Construction
Requirements: Craft Wondrous Item, augury, divination. Cost: 2,800 gp.
Total Word Count: 160.
Creation Cost Calculation (CCC): 2nd level spell (augury) x 7th caster level x 2000 (continuous, use-activated) = 28,000 / (5/ charges per day: 1) = 5,600 gp.
Mind if I join the discussion? I didn't realize the next round started so soon, and it's been years since I've tried my hand at creating D&D/P&P items.
Drumsticks of Tempo
Aura moderate transmutation; CL 10th
Price 24,410 gp; Weight .5 lbs
Description
These darkwood drumsticks are infused with magic, eliciting the sound of drums from any surface they tap. As such, they serve as a masterwork percussion instrument. The energies contained within may also be directed at enemies; each Drumstick of Tempo may be wielded as a +1 Keen Thundering improvised weapon that deals 1d6 points of either bludgeoning or piercing damage.
The true power of these instruments are accessible only when used in a pair by a skilled hand. Anyone with at least seven ranks in Perform (Percussion) can beat two drumsticks of tempo together four times to affect all those that can hear them with either haste (a standard action) or slow (a full round action). Neither usage allows a save against the affect, but each does provoke attacks of opportunities. Either effect may be ended by beating the drumsticks together a fifth time. If either Drumstick of Tempo has been used for a total of ten rounds each day, the effect immediately ends and neither drumstick may be reactivated until the next day.
Requirements: Craft Magic Arms and Armor, Haste, Slow, creator must have seven ranks in Perform (Percussion); Cost 12,205 gp
First and foremost, I wanted to create something that lets non-vocal musicians use their bardic performance in combat. The guy that's constantly using two thin clubs seemed like the perfect choice.
The cost is for a masterwork instrument (100) + masterwork weapon (300) + duskwood (10) + +3 weapon (18,000) + half the price of Boots of Speed (6,000).
The cost of the slow/haste effect is very difficult to judge. Since it affects everyone, the uses are narrower, but still exist - for instance, your party won't be affected by a slow spell as badly as a conjurer BBEG will be, nor will a single enemy soldier be as affected by haste as much as your party of six. I felt that the choice and especially the no-save were sufficiently balanced by the target:all, and thus kept the same price of the boots.
Rules I'm most concerned I'm breaking:
#1 (They're not exactly haste or slow, but they do seem to be in a can. A very strong, thundering can, but...)
#5 (It's slow, but with no save? Can I do that?)
#6 (When I first look at this, I'm not thinking of the boots, but...)
#20 (It uses the same wording for its area of affect as bardic performance, but that ability isn't exactly the simplest for the GM to adjudicate either.)
Okay, having found this thread, I will submit some of my ideas for wondrous items, because apparently this does not break the rules on anonymity. Understand these items are those I don't feel are _quite_ up to snuff for the contest, though I do feel like they are completely "ready" in terms of word count, formatting, etc. None of these will be my final entry (I am pretty sure what that's going to be, unless I find something too similar among the previous contest entries.) I am including my word count and price formula for consideration and convenience, though I won't for the actual entry. Still, it will be very nice to have some feedback from my fellow Paizoians. Thanks in advance. And special thanks to Azmahel for taking the time to review our items!
** spoiler omitted **
Hi Keith. I do not have the book in front of me so some questions might seem silly. Why a second level spell and a 7th level caster? I would think 4 or 5th caster level is enough. What is the casting time of an augury spell. If it is rounds or minutes per caster level you are ok, but 'half' of full, standard, or move actions does not compute. I feel you have a little bit of SAK going on (augury 1/day, focus, empower, quicken, and cuts wood). You can leave the part about a sword out, those are the rules standard to improvised weapons. Sawing wood and precognition are not very adventurous (read: not superstar).
I like the theme. the effect of seeing runes in the cut is a good visual, (though I am not sure how cutting wood is related to divination). Your words are concise and clear too and that is a huge help. Augury saw as a title is clear, but it could use some more spice imho.
I hope that helps :) good luck!
Hi Beats,
Again I do not have the corebook with me so please bear that in mind. Also I did not read your rational since that would not be allowed in the contest :) Keen was not (change in PF?) usable on piercing or bludgeoning, I could be wrong on that. Keen should be in the requesite cost. Using it as a weapon kind of takes away from the wondrous aspect of the contest, but this thread was OK with weapons since it is for practice (hence the feat you required is OK here, but not in the contest :).
Making the percussion skill a requirement is redundant with the spelling out the number of beats required. I would drop one or the other (number of beats is overkill fluff imho). Also the number of rounds wording is difficult to cut through: why ten round limit? how long does each affect last? do you have to beat each round? A simple rewrite should fix this. Haste and Slow is all? and it applies to me enemies as well as my allies *ack* somewhat SIaC.
As one whose pace always matches the music I hear while walking (headphones, ringtones, uni chimes, :) I think the effect of walking to the beat is perfect & haste & slow work out well for this :). You do not need a drum only the sticks which is handy (no pun intended) so you can still have a weapon available, although I wonder if I can tape one stick to my shield and tap it with the other or do I need to hold them both. Holding them both would be a serious setback.
Nice Job, good luck! (now I will read your rationale :)
Hi Keith. I do not have the book in front of me so some questions might seem silly. Why a second level spell and a 7th level caster? I would think 4 or 5th caster level is enough. What is the casting time of an augury spell. If it is rounds or minutes per caster level you are ok, but 'half' of full, standard, or move actions does not compute. I feel you have a little bit of SAK going on (augury 1/day, focus, empower, quicken, and cuts wood). You can leave the part about a sword out, those are the rules standard to improvised weapons. Sawing wood and precognition are not very adventurous (read: not superstar).
I like the theme. the effect of seeing runes in the cut is a good visual, (though I am not sure how cutting wood is related to divination). Your words are concise and clear too and that is a huge help. Augury saw as a title is clear, but it could use some more spice imho. I hope that helps :) good luck!
Thanks, Curaigh! I appreciate any feedback I can get on my work- I am very serious about this contest. I've only been playing Pathfinder for a year and a half (though I played 3.0 and 3.5 since 3 ed's inception in 2000), the reason I missed last year's deadline by about a week.
About your questions: augury is a second level spell- so yes, 7th CL is a bit higher than it should be- if that was all the saw does! But I bumped up the caster level for all the other things the saw does (particularly the metamagic stuff). Maybe it's not strictly necessary, but I erred on the side of caution. Which leads into your next query: augury and divination both have minutes as their casting time. 1 minute for augury and 10 minutes for divination, so with the saw the times are cut to 30 seconds and 5 minutes.
The stuff about improvised weapons I put in because half damage is not a standard rule (only the -4 to hit).
I'm glad you like the theme and the visual, and while the name isn't exactly overwhelming, I prefer clear titles that give some clue to what the item does. It gets too over-the-top when an item has a pompous long name, especially when it's not a high-end item. The original idea of the augury saw was a bit too morbid- (augury = divination via entrails in ancient Greece, y'know), so I made it a woodsaw instead! It's true there's not much _obvious_ connection between woodcutting and divination- unless you recall the druids' worship of certain trees, and their use of magical runes in divination (Druidic Ogham is a runic alphabet with each rune derived from a tree or plant).
I usually think up names first and then try to fit a purpose and an enchantment to the name.
For example, you can riff on these names:
Flask of Stolen Moments
Decanter of Prophesy
Bottle of Tides
;-) Thanks again, Keith/Korak
The fact that the questions were raised is what you want to watch out for. If I was more familiar with PF: no questions so good job there, :) I think a higher divination spell might be in order, (if there is one) and that would make it suitable for a 7CL which is probably balance based on what you have it doing. (read: reasoning is sound, mechanics less so :)
I am with you, the name is often inspiring. In fact one of my possible items is based solely on the words I spoke when trying to drescribe a picture to a friend... :)
Flask of Stolen Moments
drinking from this potion petrifies the character for 1d4 rounds. during this divine stone-like state, the body is immune to enchanments, scrying, spells, weapons and all other forms of damage. The character never gets back the moments it spends in this suspended animation. these holes in the memory have a cumulative effect, meaning all knowledge checks suffer a -2 penalty for a number of days equal to the number of rounds spent petrified.
Decanter of Prophesy
The liquid in the bottle pours as a thick vapor. the vapor will form into a tiny shape in the next round. The shape is something the user will face within the 24 hours. roll 1d4 with 1 being a creature, 2 being a meal, 3 landmark or building, 4 a person. As all prophesy it is up to the user to correctly interpret the prophesy. A relevant Knowledge check of DC 25 or better makes a correct interpretation.
Bottle of Tides
Midnight blue covers one half of this dolmite jug while sky blue covers the other. they Ovoid base means that it will lean one way or the other when set on the ground. When the water inside fills the light half, the dark side is up and the next spell cast with the water or cold descriptor is done so at +2 caster levels. when the water is in the dark half, the light side is up and the next spell cast with the water or cold descriptor is done so at -2 caster levels. Bottle of tides can only be used once each day and once each night.
The fact that the questions were raised is what you want to watch out for.
Precisely the kind of advice I like! I took it to heart and updated all my items to reflect the minimun caster level to create the item (i.e. cast the spell as the proper class).
I think a higher divination spell might be in order, (if there is one) and that would make it suitable for a 7CL which is probably balance based on what you have it doing. (read: reasoning is sound, mechanics less so :)
The divination spell is 4th level, so a cleric could cast it at 7th level, I do believe.
I am with you, the name is often inspiring. In fact one of my possible items is based solely on the words I spoke when trying to describe a picture to a friend... :)
Bottle of Tides
Midnight blue covers one half of this dolmite jug while sky blue covers the other. they Ovoid base means that it will lean one way or the other when set on the ground. When the water inside fills the light half, the dark side is up and the next spell cast with the water or cold descriptor is done so at +2 caster levels. when the water is in the dark half, the light side is up and the next spell cast with the water or cold descriptor is done so at -2 caster levels. Bottle of tides can only be used once each day and once each night.
This totally rocks! It's interesting how all of your's are neat item ideas- but none of them are anything like my own! We ought to start a game thread of making up names and having everyone create an item based from them! That'll spark some creative juices!
Keep in mind any attempt to explain your item is against the rules. :)
Exactly my point. I want to have an item that needs absolutely no additional explanation.
This totally rocks! It's interesting how all of your's are neat item ideas- but none of them are anything like my own! We ought to start a game thread of making up names and having everyone create an item based from them! That'll spark some creative juices!
ALL are neat ideas? I'm not so sure... Thanks. :)
Aye, that thread is something I was thinking to add between the 31st and 17th. Something to take the edge off the waiting. Also thought a round-table doing this is would be cool at the next Paizocon. :)