The Haiku Game

[Cuchulainn]

Now I'm stranded here
That is, if String Theory holds
And it's not some yarn

[drunken_nomad]

And it's not some yarn
string, twine, and wire wrapped throughout
The web's strands conspire

[Haladir]

The web's strands conspire
To hold you still. Dinner time
For giant spider!

[Quiche Lisp]

For Giant Spider
Eats her male in the morn:
This is the norm !

[Cuchulainn]

And, this is the Norm!
This is the Cliff and the Sam!
They all know your name

[drunken_nomad]

They all know your name
Miskatonic faculty
Value sanity

[Haladir]

Value sanity,
On sale for ten percent off!
No meds required!

[drunken_nomad]

No meds required!
Worldwide insanity alarm!
Five to four agree?

[I'm Hiding In Your Closet]

Five to four agree
Obamacare is legal
Roberts, you rascal!

[Cuchulainn]

Roberts, you rascal!
One Dreaded name, feared by all
A job, not a man

[Charlie Bell]

A job, not a man,
Is what some feminists want
More power to them

[I'm Hiding In Your Closet]

More power to them
Heisenberg Compensators
Make it so, Data!

[Cuchulainn]

Make it so, Data
The Fratellis are coming
Use Bully Blinders!

[Cuchulainn]

Use Bully Blinders
Or perhaps Goon Eye Gougers
Beat those guys senseless

[Haladir]

Beat those guys senseless!
Isn't this why we all watch
Ultimate fighting?

[Charlie Bell]

Ultimate Fighting
Not a real Paizo rulebook
Maybe 3PP?

[Quiche Lisp]

Maybe Three People
created All on a whim ?
Love, Light, Life

[Charlie Bell]

Love, Light, Life
That's only three syllables
Five, seven, five, bro

[Cuchulainn]

"Five, seven, five, bro."
Barney Stinson said, smiling.
"You're not ready, yet."

[Charlie Bell]

You're not ready yet?
Does it really take that long
To put on makeup?

[Twigs]

Two put on makeup
It made sex look like a church.
The penetrada.

[Haladir]

The Penetrada
Now showing in pay-per-view
On the Spice Channel.

[Theconiel]

On the Spice Channel
Television hit nadir
I must smash the set

[Cuchulainn]

I must smash the set
Every chess piece, possessed!
Calls for sacrifice

[drunken_nomad]

Calls for sacrifice
Operators standing by
Limited supplies

[I'm Hiding In Your Closet]

Limited supplies
Morale at crisis level
The Donner Party

[Cuchulainn]

The Donner Party?
How 'bout the other reindeer?!
Don't play favorites

[Celestial Healer]

Don't play favorites.
"Freebird" has become cliche.
Play me The Bangles.

[Belphegor]

Play me the bangles
But not angle of the dangles
Many Holy Angels

[Haladir]

Many holy angels
Cried when dear friend Belphegor
Penned that non-haiku.

[Cuchulainn]

Penned, that non-haiku
Sought literary escape
Oh, how poetic!

[Charlie Bell]

Oh, how poetic...
I didn't see that coming
She died in his arms

[drunken_nomad]

She died in his arms
Must have been something you said
Shoulda walked away

[Cuchulainn]

Shoulda walked away
I woulda if I coulda
It seems I'm stuck here

[Belphegor]

It seems I'm stuck here
Recounting my syllables
One, Two, Three, Four, Five...

[I'm Hiding In Your Closet]

One, Two, Three, Four, Five
Five! Five lovely syllables!
'A-'a-'a-'a-'a!!!!!

[Cuchulainn]

"'A-'a'-'a-'a-'a!!!!"
Not the sound you want to hear
At your in-laws' house.

[Haladir]

At your in-laws' house,
'Marital relations' sounds
With spouse must be hushed.

[Charlie Bell]

Which spouse must be hushed?
The one that keeps mouthing off
I get no respect

[Charles Scholz]

"I get no respect"
The tagline for poor comic
Rodney Dangerfield

[drunken_nomad]

Rodney Dangerfield
Hollowed whole loaf, made sammich
Dude knew how to eat

[Cuchulainn]

Dude knew how to eat
How many hot dogs was it?
Coney Island freak

[drunken_nomad]

Coney Island freak
"Time For the Percolator"
Fast and furious

[Haladir]

Fast & Furious...
I kind of liked that flick, and
Never saw prequels.

[I'm Hiding In Your Closet]

Never! SAW prequels???
Can they sink any lower?
I'm afraid to ask....

[Charlie Bell]

I'm afraid to ask
Everything I want to know
About hipster bands

[Cuchulainn]

About hipster bands...
What is their point, exactly?
Rock shouldn't be fake

[Celestial Healer]

Rock shouldn't be fake;
Movie props don't hurt enough
When bashing in skulls

[Haladir]

"When bashing in skulls,
Remember to use BIG rock!"
Said Daddy Ogre.

[Sissyl]

Said daddy ogre
to his unrepentant son:
you gon' get it now!