a wide silhouette darkens the splintery porch
Weel, I'm back from my vacation in Leng. I brought you all sum zhoat jerky.
Do tell! How was the lichy boah dewin?
*licks from the bowl*
Weal Lichy I got a baby shoggoth named Rufus. I let him under the porch, he needs to grow a bit, but he's a champion Leng Blue Tick Hunting Shoggoth. He'll be full size in no time!
*sniffs Rufus*
Oh, I remember you guys!
How's tricks, kids?
[Lights a joint and turns up the boombox playing "A Horse with No Name"]
[Exhales cloud of smoke]
Um....no?
Um...no?
[Hand inches closer to his holster]
[With lightning fast reflexes, he pulls out a squirtgun loaded with Nutrigrow liquid fertilizer]
Eat flower-power, yokels!
[Squirts Celestial Healer and runs away]
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That's that thar hippeh wot tried ta steal meh virtue! GO GETTIM GRUE!
[Laughs over his shoulder as he runs away]
Your virtue, madame? Hee hee!
Ah may consort with unspeakables, but nevah a dirty dope-smokin' hippeh! That;s not right!
Did somebody order an extra large anchovy,olive and extra cheese?
Hey I just wanna get paid for my pizza, dude
sticks out grimy palm
GWOROWOROROROROROOWOWROROROROR!!!
I'm outta here dude! Hey gobbo, you need a ride? If you don't mind sitting on some old pizza boxes my '86 Civic is waiting doen the hill
*click click*
*grabs hold of pizza guy's jeans and pulls*
rekkin
OWWW! Leggo you mangy ...whatever you are!
Tosses pizza
Go gettit boy!
*goes after the pizza*
*doesn't let go of the pants*
Eeyup.
*buries pizza guy in the pasture*