PARANOIA in PZO Sector!!!

[Whatt-R-BTL]

Whatt looks at Liam levelly...well, he would, but his eyes still aren't tracking perfectly, but he's coming down from his pharmasutical trip. "Theriouthly, if you are having problemth with you equipment, it thould be thecked out by the Team'th offithial Equipment Guy. The PDThee ith The Computer'th gift to you. Only The Computer, or it'th duly apppointed reprethentative thould give or taketh away."

Once disembarking from the elevator, Whatt again starts scanning for a B3 vender on the way to R&D.

"Ooooooooh! Intheniarith!! What better way to thay Death to Commieth!!

[GM of PZO Sector-Alpha Complex]

Sam

Spoiler:

Woo, another skill point award for meritorious posting

Liam

Spoiler:

Due to your meritorious posting, you are hereby granted +1 skill point to put anywhere you like.

Chuckles

Spoiler:

224

Tataz

Spoiler:

nothing, just filling space, to add to the Paranoia

oh Sam

Spoiler:

Paranoia marker

Whatt

Spoiler:

There's a B3 dispenser next to the Elevator, there is also one in every elevator...just they're not always full...

[Tataz-R-BIG-1]

GM:

Spoiler:

Whatt-R-BTL wrote:

Once disembarking from the elevator, Whatt again starts scanning for a B3 vender on the way to R&D.

Is my "illegal" experimental B3 in a container that is indistinguishable from regular? If I offered one to poor Whatt, is it obvious from the can that it isn't normal?

I'm wondering if the elevator ride shook the cabonation up really good......muahahaa

[Whatt-R-BTL]

Whatt dashes over to the B3 dispenser outside of the elevator and pops iin the credits for the drink, pushing the button with a beatific expression of expectation on his face.

[GM of PZO Sector-Alpha Complex]

Tataz-R-BIG-1 wrote:

GM:

** spoiler omitted **

Spoiler:

It's in a reverse colored can...robably be a bit obvious, it would draw attention...but I was nice and put a B3 dispenser in...LoL

[Chuckles-R-DRR]

"ANYONE ELSE NEED A HAPPINESS BOOST BEFORE WE GO CRACK SOME SKULLS? I feel happy enough but...I just don't feel euphoric. Better top 'er off to make sure!"

Chuckles mindlessly pops a pill from his kit.

[GM of PZO Sector-Alpha Complex]

Now which pill was that?

CHuckles!

Spoiler:

A Ritalin like pill...you're gonna be twice the spaz you normally are...now if only you could remember which ne you just took...was it red with black stripes? black with red stripe or a red dot?

[Chuckles-R-DRR]

GM of PZO Sector-Alpha Complex wrote:

Now which pill was that?

CHuckles! ** spoiler omitted **

Chuckles suddenly perks up with unrestrained intensity. He becomes incredibly impatient and antsy. He glances back and forth from Sam to the blast door, to Sam, to the door with an owl-like craning of the neck. From out of nowhere he begins hopping on the balls of his feet in a tight, obtrusive circle around Sam and speed talking right in his face, "Hey! HEYTEAMLEADER! Are we ready to go yet? So are we? Huh-HUH? Because I'm ready! Areyouready? IAM!!" ::boing boing:: he bounds between each team member with sudden catlike precision and frantically asks, "Canwego?" "Youready?" "AREWETHEREYET?" "WHAT IS THE HOLD UP!?"

Unannounced, Chuckles runs several steps towards the door, and then back again, runs towards the door, and back, all while throwing his knees up almost high enough to crack himself in the chin, and flailing his arms with incredible speed. The entire time, he's laughing in sporadic and choppy bursts. Laughing through his clenched teeth at nothing in particular.

[GM of PZO Sector-Alpha Complex]

Chuckles-R-DRR wrote:

GM of PZO Sector-Alpha Complex wrote:

Now which pill was that?

CHuckles! ** spoiler omitted **

Chuckles suddenly perks up with unrestrained intensity. He becomes incredibly impatient and antsy. He glances back and forth from Sam to the blast door, to Sam, to the door with an owl-like craning of the neck. From out of nowhere he begins hopping on the balls of his feet in a tight, obtrusive circle around Sam and speed talking right in his face, "Hey! HEYTEAMLEADER! Are we ready to go yet? So are we? Huh-HUH? Because I'm ready! Areyouready? IAM!!" ::boing boing:: he bounds between each team member with sudden catlike precision and frantically asks, "Canwego?" "Youready?" "AREWETHEREYET?" "WHAT IS THE HOLD UP!?"

Unannounced, Chuckles runs several steps towards the door, and then back again, runs towards the door, and back, all while throwing his knees up almost high enough to crack himself in the chin, and flailing his arms with incredible speed. The entire time, he's laughing in sporadic and choppy bursts. Laughing through his clenched teeth at nothing in particular.

Spoiler:

ROFL!+5PP

[Whatt-R-BTL]

GM Only

Spoiler:

Does the B3 machine work for me?

[GM of PZO Sector-Alpha Complex]

Whatt:

Spoiler:

No it doesn't work properly

As Whatt swipes his ME Card to get his B3 for his algae-chip parched throat, the machine drops a B3 into the LZ.

"Thank you Whatt-R-BTL, your ME Card has been charged 1 credit"

then another B3 drops into the LZ

"Thank you Whatt-R-BTL, your ME Card has been charged 1 credit"

then another B3 drops into the LZ

"Thank you Whatt-R-BTL, your ME Card has been charged 2 credits"

then another B3 drops into the LZ

"Thank you Whatt-R-BTL, your ME Card has been charged 3 credits"

then another B3 drops into the LZ

"Thank you Whatt-R-BTL, your ME Card has been charged 5 credits"

then another B3 drops into the LZ

"Thank you Whatt-R-BTL, your ME Card has been charged 8 credits"...

get where this is going? the capacity for these machines is over 200 cans...

[Chuckles-R-DRR]

GM of PZO Sector-Alpha Complex wrote:

Whatt: ** spoiler omitted **

As Whatt swipes his ME Card to get his B3 for his algae-chip parched throat, the machine drops a B3 into the LZ.

"Thank you Whatt-R-BTL, your ME Card has been charged 1 credit"

then another B3 drops into the LZ

"Thank you Whatt-R-BTL, your ME Card has been charged 1 credit"

then another B3 drops into the LZ

"Thank you Whatt-R-BTL, your ME Card has been charged 2 credits"

then another B3 drops into the LZ

"Thank you Whatt-R-BTL, your ME Card has been charged 3 credits"

then another B3 drops into the LZ

"Thank you Whatt-R-BTL, your ME Card has been charged 5 credits"

then another B3 drops into the LZ

"Thank you Whatt-R-BTL, your ME Card has been charged 8 credits"...

get where this is going? the capacity for these machines is over 200 cans...

I am aghast at the sheer evil.

[Whatt-R-BTL]

Non-plussed, Whatt picks up the first can without pause and guzzles it. Then he takes a second bottle and guzzles that, too. His terrible thirst slaked, he smiles and addresses the machine. He pokes the dispenser button to make sure it is not stuck and jiggles any interface handle gently to see if there is any componant stuck there...

If nothing happens, he calmly fishes out his PDC and tries to place a call to this level's Vending Machine Maintenance PLC. As he does, he calmly tosses fresh cans of B3 to the rest of the team. Wether he gets a human or a recording service he gives the following information:

"Good daycycle, Citizens! Today is a Blessed day that The Computer has Booted Up! My name is Whatt-R-BTL-1 and I'm reporting a problem with vending machine LQ1D-R3fR3$m3Nt\2.3 I initiated a purchase and the my ME Card has been charged, but it keeps vending and charging my card increasing sums. I do some bot programming with my Service Company and it sounds like it might have blown a Fibonacchi Supression Resistor. I am happy to pay for the product dispensed, but I hope my account can be credited for the proper fees. Go with The Computer's blessing. Thank you."

GM Only

Spoiler:

I will spend 3 pervirsity points to try to reach the proper servicing company.

[Liam-R-PZO]

GM:

Spoiler:

Put the skill point in Agility. Just checking, the B3 is in an obviously-white can, given that it's an Infrared product, right?

Liam pans his camera around the room, eventually coming to rest on Whatt. "And here we have Whatt, buying large amounts of Bouncy Bubble Beverage..."

[Sam-R-SPD]

Thanks for Bouncy Beverage Whatt, but we don't have time for your generosity right now. We've got to get to R&D. I wonder what kind of wonderful experimental equipment we'll get to test.

Sam cracks open his bouncy bubble beverage and chugs it.

[Sam-R-SPD]

GM

Spoiler:

Thanks for the skill points. I just put 1 into bootlicking and the other one that I got before that I put into hygiene

[Liam-R-PZO]

"Ah, it looks like Team Leader Sam-R-SPD-1 is drinking the Bouncy Bubble Beverage too.", Liam narrates

[Sam-R-SPD]

I sure am Liam. It tastes great and improves my aim. Hey Whatt throw a can up in the air and I'll shoot it with my blaster.

[Liam-R-PZO]

Liam backs away to catch the entirety of the trick in one shot.

GM:

Spoiler:

Really backing up to not get caught in the rain of Ultraviolet beverage.

[GM of PZO Sector-Alpha Complex]

another B3 drops into the LZ

"Thank you Whatt-R-BTL, your ME Card has been charged 13 credits"

Whatt:

Spoiler:

You access your PDC, you know exactly who to contact, your old boss was recently promoted to yellow and put in charge of Vending transactions. You leave a message with Bill-Y-BOB-6, you hope he can help sort this out with the computer. He's also a FCCC-P member.

another B3 drops into the LZ

"Thank you Whatt-R-BTL, your ME Card has been charged 21 credits"

Liam:

Spoiler:

The B3s (B3-Extra classic) are black (IR) with red lettering, white would be UV

another B3 drops into the LZ

"Thank you Whatt-R-BTL, your ME Card has been charged 34 credits"

[Liam-R-PZO]

GM:

Spoiler:

Oh, I thought you meant "B3, the delicious clear beverage available to you, assuming you're Ultraviolet", not "B3, there's no way I'm writing Bouncy Bubble Beverage again damn it". My mistake.

Liam shoves a can of Bouncy Bubble Beverage into his pocket before readying the camera to film Sam's upcoming stunt.

[GM of PZO Sector-Alpha Complex]

SAM

Spoiler:

So...uh....who you gonna try to "accidentally" shoot if Whatt tosses a B3 in the air?

another B3 drops into the LZ

"Thank you Whatt-R-BTL, your ME Card has been charged 55 credits"

[Chuckles-R-DRR]

Chuckles is too busy running in place and hyping himself up to notice Whatt's B3 offering. It bounces off of Chuckles' chest and ricochets in some random direction. He begins to shuffle step from side to side in an insane spastic fury, kicking cans this way and that as they continue popping out of the machine.

[Whatt-R-BTL]

Whatt sighs and stuffs as many B3 cans in his pockets as he can fit and starts walking toward R&D. The mission was too important, too much of a sacred trust.

"Well, this will sort itself out as it will. I've faith that The Computer will provide. And worst case scenario, I will have to work off probably not more than 280,571,172,992,510,140,037,611,932,413,038,677,189,525 credits. As long as it is toiling in The Computer's name, I am happy."

[GM of PZO Sector-Alpha Complex]

you could probably stuff around 6 dozen in your troubleshooter bag

(by the way, you all have a trouble shooter bag in addition to your jumpsuit.)

[Liam-R-PZO]

GM:

Spoiler:

Hey! We got a possible recruit over on the discussion thread! Go register him or whatever it is you want to call it!

[GM of PZO Sector-Alpha Complex]

Whatt:

Spoiler:

You get a message from Bill-Y-Bob. "All hail the Wise and Beneficent Computer brother!. I have dispatched a troubleshooter to investigate the Malfunctioning B3 Machine at your location."

Sam:

Spoiler:

Message from the computer. I'm proud of your actions in taking the initiative and doing double duty as Team Leader and Equipment Guy, you are hereby awarded the Hero of the Complex award and promoted to Orange status, however as your team is late in arriving to R&D, you are demoted to RED, you may keep the Hero of the Complex award as our gift to you. Whoops-R-UOK-1 has been assigned to your team as the new Equipment Guy. In addition he has been assigned to investigate the malfunctioning B3 Machine, after R&D

[WHOOPS-R-UOK]

A red citizen comes skipping up to the group looking at all the B3 rolling around.
"Hello fellow citizens! I am looking for team leader SAM-R-SPD. The Computer in all its glorious benevolence has sent me as a replacement Equipment Guy.My name is WHOOPS-R-UOK, and boy am I happy to be assigned to such a swell looking group of troubleshooters. Yup, yup!Whoops beams a big smile at everyone
GM

Spoiler:

Just wanted to say hi, and thanks for letting me jump in the game.

looking over to the machine spitting out the B3.
"Oh that must be the vending unit I got a maintenance message about. Well we better hustle on over to R&D so I can come back here and take a look at that. Defiantly, Defiantly. nodding vigorously he looks from one citizen to the next. the head nod starts to become a bounce as he looks at Chuckles, and becomes a full blown hop by the time he completes his circuit of looking at everyone. you notice he starts to itch his left arm as he hops up and down Smiling frantically.
GM

Spoiler:

figured my first post had better have at least two spoilers

GM

Spoiler:

Do I have a mission from my secret society?

[GM of PZO Sector-Alpha Complex]

WHOOPS-R-UOK wrote:

A red citizen comes skipping up to the group looking at all the B3 rolling around.

"Hello fellow citizens! I am looking for team leader SAM-R-SPD. The Computer in all its glorious benevolence has sent me as a replacement Equipment Guy.My name is WHOOPS-R-UOK, and boy am I happy to be assigned to such a swell looking group of troubleshooters. Yup, yup!Whoops beams a big smile at everyone
GM
** spoiler omitted **
looking over to the machine spitting out the B3.
"Oh that must be the vending unit I got a maintenance message about. Well we better hustle on over to R&D so I can come back here and take a look at that. Defiantly, Defiantly. nodding vigorously he looks from one citizen to the next. the head nod starts to become a bounce as he looks at Chuckles, and becomes a full blown hop by the time he completes his circuit of looking at everyone. you notice he starts to itch his left arm as he hops up and down Smiling frantically.
GM
** spoiler omitted **
GM
** spoiler omitted **

Spoiler:

No specific mission as of yet...aka I have to think about it...and welcome welcome, I hope to get even more players..This game is best played with as many as possible and especially in this format...So far I think the PbP format is the best way to play it, as long as everyone is honest of course....no peeking at spoilers...hehe

[Sam-R-SPD]

Greetings happy, loyal citizen. I am Sam-R-SPD. Welcome to the team! Here is your equipment badge. I was just going to demonstrate to my team how Bouncy Bubble Beverage helps to improve my aim. Could you help me out? I just need you to toss a can of triple B up into the air, so that I can take a shot at it. Sam waves his pistol excitedly and tosses Whoops his Equipment Guy badge and a can of triple B.

[Sam-R-SPD]

GM

Spoiler:

SAM has decided that Whatt is the guy he wants to take out first. He just hasn't figured out how to frame Free Enterprise yet. He'd be content to "accidently" blow his head off while firing shots a Bouncy Bubble Beverage. By the way, are the walls reflective enough that he could try a bank shot with his laser to make it look even more like an accident?

[Tataz-R-BIG-1]

Whatt-R-BTL wrote:

As he does, he calmly tosses fresh cans of B3 to the rest of the team.

"Only a Commie would share so freely! Are you a Commie Whatt-R-BTL?"

Bouncing over to stand near Whoops
"Good to meet you Whoops - it's a like so glorious and wonderful to have a new member of our loyal faithful non-mutant, non traitorous team"

(I bounce up and down in rhythm with the hyper Whoops - my assets bouncing solidly smacking me in the face; Stopping to look at Whatt)

"Well....maybe all non-traitorous...."

Sam-R-SPD wrote:

Hey Whatt throw a can up in the air and I'll shoot it with my blaster.

"Here, Sam-R, I'll throw one for you to shoot!"

GM

Spoiler:

Throwing directly at Sam to hit him with a line drive - if he shoots at "it" or "me" Whoops is conveniently standing between Sam and I - in the way.
USING 2 PERVERSITY POINTS

Can I make that a Narrow Specialty skill,

"Throwing Bouncy Bubble Beverage Cans At Teammates"

provided of course this game has something like that - which I wouldn't know if it did or didn't since I of course do not know the rules.....?

And of course will act surprised and shocked at any bad outcome as if it just slipped and was an accident....

afterall: "I throw like a girl!"

[Sam-R-SPD]

Thanks Tataz. I'm glad I can always count on you to throw your cans around. It makes me so happy.

[GM of PZO Sector-Alpha Complex]

Tataz

Spoiler:

OK I'll make a thrown weapons roll for you, and decide how much an effect those 2 perversity points will help...enough to keep you from being shot, unless of course someone spends pervfersity points to uh....

SAM:

Spoiler:

BAM! 5 perversity points for that great pun!

ALL: New ruling, you can spending perversity points tentatively, like holding an action

example: Player Chuckles tells me in a spoiler "I will spend 5 PP to have the shot miss me and hit my team-mate."

while the Team Leader sends me a spoiler saying "I want the weapon to backfire and I'll spend 10 PP."

I will charge you 1 non-refundable PP as a down-payment for the action, just to keep everyone from doing tentative Perversity point spending on the littleist things...

[Chuckles-R-DRR]

Sam-R-SPD wrote:

Thanks Tataz. I'm glad I can always count on you to throw your cans around. It makes me so happy.

I hurt myself laughing

[Tataz-R-BIG-1]

Sam-R-SPD wrote:

Thanks Tataz. I'm glad I can always count on you to throw your cans around. It makes me so happy.

"You're welcome! Well...if you think throwing my cans around is good....you see what I can do with my jugs!"

[Chuckles-R-DRR]

Chuckles enthusiastically points a finger a little too close to Whoops' face and shouts, "HEYITSANEWGUY!" He pulls out a black pill with a red dot and frantically introduces himself, "I'M CHUCKLES, THE HAPPINESS OCCIFUR-hehe-OFFICER!" He wags the pill in Whoops' face, "Heeere newguynewguynewguy!" (in a sing-songy voice) "It's HAPPYHAPPYTIME!"
Chuckles feeds the red pill to Whoops, accidentally slapping him in the mouth doing so. He gasps an excited gasp when he sees some cans of B3 still rolling around, grabs one, and cracks it open. "Wash it down with this, Whoopsy boy!" Chuckles shoves the can in Whoops' face with an unsteady, jittery hand, an impatient (or possibly just hyper) foot tapping, and his eye twitching in a crazed manner. B3 starts to splatter as Chuckles waits for him to take the can.

[Chuckles-R-DRR]

Tataz-R-BIG-1 wrote:

Sam-R-SPD wrote:

Thanks Tataz. I'm glad I can always count on you to throw your cans around. It makes me so happy.

"You're welcome! Well...if you think throwing my cans around is good....you see what I can do with my jugs!"

Chuckles cranes his neck to stare at Tataz for a minute and then screeches, "....I DON'T GET IT!"

[Sam-R-SPD]

Sam stares at Tataz for a moment. He vaguely feels his jumpsuit getting tighter around the crotchal region, but he can't quite figure out why.

Assuming Whoops throws the can in the air. Sam watches the can spin end over end for a split second. His gun waves around wildly in the air as he appears to be trying to track the movements of the can. Suddenly he let's loose a shot. ZAP!!!

WHOOPS!

GM

Spoiler:

Invisible Castle was down, so I can't make the roll, but Sam will fire and try to bank his shot off the wall to accidently blast Whatt- preferably right in the head. He kicks in 7 perversity points (thanks for the 5 you just game me by the way).

[GM of PZO Sector-Alpha Complex]

That B3 machine malfunction made for some great RP...keep it up guys!

Whoops, your avatar looks like Dwayne Dibbley on clone #9 or so...serious genetic drift...

Dwayne Dibbley, I don't wanna be Dwayne Dibbley

Sam, looks like we need to up your homone dosages!!! Oh, or just drink that B3, or have some Fun Fun Algae chips...that'll take care of those strange feelings

[WHOOPS-R-UOK]

"OOhhhh! Happy, Happy!" Whoops swallows the pill and grabs the can of B3 chugging it in one long gulp then tossing it into the air.

Spoiler:

whoops will do his best to make sure the can arcs far away from himself. would have rolled here but invis castle seems to be down. I will spend 3perv p to arc it over WHATT that potential Commie...plus I worked really hard to hack that machine in the first place. Can't have running off to the Computer whining about credits. And I payed attention to those Old time Phreaks I am not having those credits channeled to my account. I am in it for the Mayhem and those credits are randomly being allocated to red and inferred citizens throughout alpha complex as "Kick A Clone Bonus Bucks" with the notice Hello Citizen You have been rewarded for your participation in "Kick A Clone!!!" to keep receiving Bonus Bucks KEEP KICKING!!!This promotion brought to you by COMPUTER FUN TIME GAMES service service. Skippy-P-B&J. I will spend 6 perv points on this.

"Boy you sure do love B3 WHATT!" whoops now bouncing in time with TATAZ.

Spoiler:

I love Red Dwarf LOL I didn't notice at First, But oh yeah!

" Good old LQ1D-R3fR3$m3Nt\3.2 Really seems to be giving you plenty of B3. If we Hurry to R&D I can get back here to sort that out. Yes sir, Yes sir." Whoops shines and pins his Equipment Guy badge onto his suit.

Spoiler:

Oh and yes the switching of\2.3 to 3.2 was intentional a clone with enough attention to detail to notice I switched um is not to be trusted:)

[Sam-R-SPD]

GM

Spoiler:

Can you roll my laser shot for me

[GM of PZO Sector-Alpha Complex]

As IC is down I will roll any necessary rolls.

[Chuckles-R-DRR]

GM only:

Spoiler:

I would like to spend eight (8) perversity points on the following:
Just as Sam is aiming for the airborne can, Chuckles starts up with another of his super charged tippy toe spazz dances and bumps Sam's shootin' arm, causing him to overreact and fire a second accidental shot. In the general direction Tataz, Whatt, Liam and Whoops. Right as Chuckles notices he's bumped so violently into his team leader, he hunches down into an on-the-spot duck and cover position, holding his arms over his own head as a purely nervous reaction.

I know Chuckles is unaware of what is going to happen, but he does know that he just slammed into the guy with the laser, and his immediate reaction is to cower and duck. Oh I'll roll a d20 if necessary, but invisible castle seems to be down atm.

[Alpha Complex Computer]

Over the complex wide speaker system "Team Leader PZO-224, What is your status, you should be at your Service service NOW!"

[Whatt-R-BTL]

Whatt wrinkles his nose at Tataz accuzation. "No, Tataz-R-BIG-1, I can give some of my Bouncy Bubble Beverage to my Troubleshooting teammates as a communion of The Computer's gifts to us. It is for team building and nourishment. This is The Computer's B3 dispensed for us. Take. Drink."

"Also, don't presume to address me as a Commie traitor. I spend most days checking copy for the Hate the Commie rally pamphlets that are produced in Sector PZO, AND I'm this team's Loyalty Officer. It is a sacred trust and I will duly record any traitorous urges or leanings I display."

Whatt takes out his loyalty notebook and scribbles down a couple of lines, glancing suspiciously at Tataz as he does so.

GM Only

Spoiler:

Whatt, in a show of good faith of his station, records his possession of the forbidden t-shirt in his inventory. He hadn't been able to get over to a confession terminal and record it yet.

[Whatt-R-BTL]

p.s.: That is one of my favorite Red Dwarf moments!

[Whatt-R-BTL]

Whatt thanks Whoops and nods energetically to him. "I do love B3! Not as much as I love The Computer, of course, but it's the liquid The Computer gives to us for our nourishment!"

Whatt touches his hand against his chest in four places making a square shape.

If the B3 is thrown and/or shot at, Whatt looks in disapproval at the parties participating.

GM Only

Spoiler:

He will write down anything he sees as a transgression regarding throwing/destroying Computer provided goods and discharging lasers frivously and in inappropriate conditions.

[WHOOPS-R-UOK]

Whoops points at Whatt "You seem a little upset friend citizen perhaps you could use a little Happy Happy." pointing at chuckles pills. At the sound of The Computer. Whoops starts scratching his left arm, and starts skipping at a rapid pace to R&D. "Last one there is a expired embryo.BwaaHaaaHaaa."

Spoiler:

will spend 3 perv points to have at least two of my fellow troubleshooters crash into each other in a heap on the way to R&D, and 2 more perv points to get there first.