FCCC-P
Beliefs:
The Computer is my Friend, I shall not want.
Though I walk through the sector of the shadow of treason,
I will fear no Commies, for The Computer is with me,
and Its monitors and IntSec Troopers comfort me.
Serve The Computer, for those who serve The Computer well here in Alpha Complex will surely be Rebooted in the Eternal Mainframe; those who do not will surely be downloaded to the Peripherals of Damnation. The AntiComputer and its servants, the Commies, are everywhere. Be constantly on guard against their perfidious attacks against the Most Holy Database and destroy them and any who offer them shelter and comfort. Work toward the day when Mankind is Debugged, for then all will be Upgraded and Write Protected.
A congregation usually contains 10-100 lay members, a few disciples and one Elder. Elders know those in their congregation, a few other Elders and one Reverend Programmer. Above this level, each member knows all subordinates directly assigned to him, a few members of equal rank, and a single higher ranking member.
Congregations meet on an irregular basis in the barracks of the Infrared. Requests for information or equipment are received there and
directives and missions are disseminated. Because The Computer is somewhat tolerant of this society, internal communications are fairly relaxed and informal. At lower levels, citizens often know others in their congregation; INFRARED members might openly wear FCCC-P badges. FCCC-P observes dozens upon dozens of rituals. Imagine Orthodox Judaism with a bit of Aleister Crowley and some Jehovah’s Witnesses layered on top. What you wear, the way you say things, only Cold Fun on Threeday... all kinds of things. After work shift, FCCC-P member are expected to gather for Mass in a properly requisitioned meeting hall and listen to a preacher extol the glories of The Computer and the FCCC-P. FCCC-P members must also confess regularly, to their society superiors and even to The Computer itself. Given the society’s large size, if you don’t report your sins, you can be pretty sure somebody else has already.
Friends: Pro Tech.
Enemies: Communists, Humanists, Death Leopard, Sierra Club.
Recognition signal: An FCCC-Per identifies himself by touching four points on his chest, one after the other, with each point being the
corner of an imagined square.
The Computer’s Prayer
‘Our Founder, who art Perfection, Binary be thy name.
Thy Complex fun, thy will be done
In truth, as it is in theory.
Give us each daycycle our daily Fun Foods,
And forgive us our Insubordination
As we forgive those who are Insubordinate to us.
And allow us not to get away with Treason,
But deliver us from traitors.
For Thine is the Complex, and its Hygiene,
and its Proper Procedures forevercycle.
End Program.’