"Ye block-headed fool! We aren't skipping on the bill, there is something on your roof! My name is Korgidd Darragdem, and by me beard and me ancestors, you'll be paid for our expenses. Now how in the name of Grimnir can we get to the roof?" Korgidd seems exasperated by the number of times he has had to swear by his clan just to get around town. Bunch of faithless bearded gnomes!
Hearing the commotion, Vulpert climbs from the bed, adjusting his hat over his eyes, and creeps back out into the corridor. His intention is to take one last peek at what is going on, perhaps for a laugh, before going to bed for good, but a feeling of deep unease grows as he nears the corridor.
When he sees the innkeeper brandishing the cleaver so brazenly in front of his nervous and heavily-armed companions, something seems to fall into place. Something is not quite right to him.
Seeing his advantageous position, Vulpert draws his sword. He then creeps up behind the dwarf, positioning his finger in front of his face to mime silence to his compatriots.
Vulpert hesitates for a moment, considering the implications of what his next action might be. Always one to weigh the consequences, he ponders just what the Lawgiver's dungeons are like. Of course, he only need worry about that if he should survive a violent confrontation with an angry dwarf innkeeper hefting a cleaver like he means to castrate a bull.
His gut, preposterously, tells him it is the right decision. Looking at the befuddled, frightened, and intense faces of his companions, he instead tries to think like them.
Before he knows what is happening, Vulpert hurtles toward the innkeeper, his shoulder lowered to knock him down the steeply pitched stairwell.
Vulpert frantically tries to get up from the floor.
'I knew this was a bad idea...'
"Wait!" Korgidd shouts at Vulpert. "What are ye doing?" Korgidd tries to figure out why the human attacked the innkeep and why in the hell the innkeep is shouting murder. He readies his hammer and shield purely for his own defense and tries to make some sense of the chaos unfolding in front of him.
In 1d10=2+31=33
"Vulpert, you fool, the threat is outside, not inside...this innkeeper is not our enemy..." Rikarus shouts, for the first time revealing his hidden nature, letting his foppish facade drop for a moment. Rikarus then runs to the window to have a look outside.
Barkeep, Vulpert iz drunk. Vorgive him. Vhen he gets zhis drunk it reminds him ov vhen his brother ztole avay vith his bride. Zhere must be zomething about you zhat reminds him ov his brother. You know men kan't hold zhere drink. I am zure he vill apologize to you in zhe morning, and ve all vill have a good laugh. Eh?
Perception test on the innkeeper. (1d100=92) fail.
Korgidd is confused by the innkeeper's actions, and upon seeing him attack Vulpert he rushes to the human's aid.
Weapons Skill for attacks on innkeeper (1d100=27, 1d100=53) One hit. One Miss.
Momentarily stunned by his violent collision with the sturdy dwarf, Vulpert quickly comes to his senses. He frantically scampers backward, crab-walking as fast he can as the innkeeper's cleaver comes down with the force of Sigmar's Hammer, splitting the floorboard within inches of the bonepicker's manhood. Unable to hear the entreaties of his companions over the din of the enraged dwarf and the grumbling from downstairs, he desperately reaches for his sword.
"I think we have more than just a problem outside about now!"
Zhere iz a madness on zhis mountain, und in its people. If you vant to fight. Zhen I zuggest a place ve kan hold. Out here iz to open.
Oll ov you zhink. Zhis iz madness! No blood needs to be zpilled over zhis. Lets just zit down and drink. Let kalmer heads zhink zhis zhrough.
"...Yes, yes, I am all for just drinking this misunderstanding out! Isn't that what you dwarfs do? I swear on my life, may Morr strike me dead, but I mistook you for a burglar, friend-dwarf...yes a burglar..."
{Woot; gameboard back up; let me know where and how I join in; thanks for all the nice hello's', my character name is gonna be Willard}
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The innkeeper loses his grip on his weapon which flies and inbeds itself into a door. He falls to his knees and pleads, "Please don't kill me!" Very undwarf-like.
For Vulpert
For Willard
I grab my staff and axe and run to the action.
"V hut goes here?"
"Durs bashed; weeman screamin; an you ruffians wit R innkeep un der flur, mur vruckus downsteers?"
ACK! Vey! I ist znot MEET! I say again; who be you all?
I heard running on zhe voof. Zhen I heard a vomans zcream. Zo I kicked zhe door en. Zhe innkeeper kame up to zee vhat vas going on. Ve vas trying to explain vhat is happening. Vhen he vent nuts. Zwinging is kleaver at everyone.
Nutz you say, 'eez mind broke? 'ave you no 'Elers? Is he mad wit drink er ist 'eez mind infested wit Chaos? Eet 'appens (waves his book around) I 'ave read such things.
Nutz you say, 'eez mind broke? 'ave you no 'Elers? Is he mad wit drink er ist 'eez mind infested wit Chaos? Eet 'appens (waves his book around) I 'ave read such things.
I zhink zhis place iz been touched by vats. Zhe look en zhe Innkeepers eye reminded me ov another Dwarf I have seen zhis day. I just hope zhe innkeeper koms to his senses.
Don't stain zhis night vith blood Korgidd, or ve might not live to zhe morning.
Vats! Think ze Inkeep be charmed and beholded to ze vampires? I 'av reed alzo dat vampires break the vill and charm and control ze mortal mind as vell.
Look upon ze innkeep if ze 'av an 'Ealer or I kin do it az I am in dee training. Does 'ee have bites upon him: neck or thigh. Does zee holy vater burn 'im? I 'eard dat dem controlled by vampires cannot float; kin 'ee float? and dat they burn like candles? I o'er 'eard dat one; not read in dee book.
No, no, no, I zaid Vats, not zhe valking dead.
Vats? Vat are Vats, hmm; not dead; aah; Vats; I know now; Ja, ze 'alfling do eet dem on zee stick wit tomato sauce. Vats not chaos nor do mind control; dat is zilly! Dey do be 'aven da diseeze; is 'ee vit de Fever? Ist 'eez brow er chest all sveaty, and flushed?
Were it not for the new buffoon bursting on the scene, Vulpert might never have been able to regain his senses after seeing the wet eye staring at him from beneath the innkeeper's clothing. Even with the 'dwarf' begging for mercy, combined with the cacophony of those in the hallway and downstairs, and the terrified pounding of his own heart, he would not have been able to regain his composure.
Something about the the absurdity of the newcomer's conversation with Kol does the trick however. Finding his voice, the moisture suddenly returning to his too-dry throat, Vulpert shouts over them, eyes wide and frantic.
"Under his garb, EYES!
EYES on his flesh, they're looking at us, even now!
EYES! He carries the taint!"
Vulpert fumbles for his bow, staggers back a few paces and desperately nocks an arrow, pointing it at the prostrate dwarf-thing's face.
Rikarus levels his crossbow at the innkeeper at the mention of taint. "The innkeeper is a spawn of chaos...kill him guardsmen"
Drop staff, I step back into my room and speak out the doorway. (better part of valor hehe)
"all be calm, no rush dings, logic and reason prevail now"
"zomezing ist very strange here Magistate. I 'eard a scream and not from a dwarf; I open my door; 'ee threw a cleaver at me in me door you see? Den 'ee collapsed all tremblylike.
Dat scream vas very high pitched not 'uman or dwarf; all girlylike, maybe der ist a Goblin under zis innkeeps robes az dis archer saw some eyes. Worth checking yes?
(use my fellowship 33; ack better double here then casting hehe, trying to work up their well known legendary hatred of goblinoids)
dost though Runeweapon sense anything? I am apprentice magister Willard; in Sigmar's name; school of Light.
"back away all, watch unt let zee vunderdwarves take zee thing in 'and, I 'ope von of youse vunderdwarves ist a 'ealer"
(I stare hard at the innkeeper; sometimes mages get insight and visions and hopeing some namedropping of their beloved Sigmar will ease some tension)
Ironically, a palpable sense of relief floods through Vulpert upon seeing the Lawgivers pointing their pistols at him. He very slowly lowers his bow in the fear that the dwarf guards have itchy trigger fingers. He points very slowly to them, and speaks as if trying to communicate to a deaf and dumb child, enunciating each word clearly and distinctly:
"The innkeeper has the tainted touch of the North upon him. Look 'neath his nightrobe and you will assuredly have something looking back at you!"
"I will put my weapon away once you check him...these are my actions alone, but the spawn of chaos must be removed...CHECK HIM! Once you do I will drop my weapon...Note, I have not fired it, and I am not threatening you with it...merely this, this, traitor to your race. You should have your guns trained on the chaos spawn rather than the victims..."
Fellowship or whatever appropriate roll: 1d100=8
"I'll give you my name patrol leader, if you give me yours.."
[am guessing words of gimli to the rohan hehe]
Will power roll for Magic Sense on Innkeeper; sigh; 70; guess I dont see anything...
"Eyes? What in the depths of the mountains is going on?!?"
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Charm test, 19, success[/ooc]
"A likely story, manling. Ye've been smoking weed, perhaps?"
"Drop yer weapons!"
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"I will put my weapon away once you check him...these are my actions alone, but the spawn of chaos must be removed...CHECK HIM! Once you do I will drop my weapon...Note, I have not fired it, and I am not threatening you with it...merely this, this, traitor to your race. You should have your guns trained on the chaos spawn rather than the victims..."
Fellowship or whatever appropriate roll: 1d100=8
"I'll give you my name patrol leader, if you give me yours.."
"I am the leader of the lawgivers. Me name as far yer concerned is 'Yer Lordship.'"
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Will power roll for Magic Sense on Innkeeper; sigh; 70; guess I dont see anything...
For Willard
Yer Lordship. I admit my eyes iz not az zharp az others here. I kannot klaim to zee vhat zhey zay zhey zaw. But I kan zee, und vhat does give me koncern. Iz zhis innkeeper iz not acting very dwarvish. Vhat I know ov your honorable people. En all my travels, und en no ztories have I heard. Not once have I heard ov Dwarf on his knee's groveling to humans. Or groveling to anyone vor zhat matter. Zomething iz not right. It kouldn't hurt to kheck zhe innkeeper out.
"ack, zeee brains afire! That innkeep be full o symbols churnin dee winds of magic. I see it wit zee magic sight. In service to Magius da Pious we mages do fight zee corruption. An Un'oly gout o infamy and corruption infests zee inkeep; beware, beware. Zee innkeep; dont touch 'em lest yea be exposed to zee corruption. I bee strong enough to ward miene self, beware! BEWARE!"
I stagger back and regain my senses shutting down my sight (hopefully)
"v'at vile pact 'as 'ee made and why das ziz Yarle Ord'ship zeek 'ees protection, have vee fallen amongs a nest of foul villiany, ist der nacht any good and rightous amongst zee?"
Will power roll for Magic Sense on Innkeeper; sigh; 70; guess I dont see anything...
For Willard** spoiler omitted **
"Very well your lordship, I am Rikarus Alpert, just a manling to you, but willing to risk death at your hands that you might actually take the threat of chaos seriously..."
Lowering his hammer and shield, Korgidd sighs in exasperation.
"Yer Lordship. I have no idea, how I am mixed up in this, because I genuinely have no idea what in the Northern Wastes is going on! I'm asleep, I wake up to a scream, my door is kicked in, I see tentacles outside my window, the innkeeper tries to butcher my comrade's manhood, someone shouts that the innkeeper has the eyes of Chaos under his clothes, then you show up out of nowhere! If someone can explain it to me, I would be amazed."
Vulpert lowers his bow and gingerly places the arrow back in his quiver. He keeps his distance from the innkeeper.
Lowering his hammer and shield, Korgidd sighs in exasperation.
"Yer Lordship. I have no idea, how I am mixed up in this, because I genuinely have no idea what in the Northern Wastes is going on! I'm asleep, I wake up to a scream, my door is kicked in, I see tentacles outside my window, the innkeeper tries to butcher my comrade's manhood, someone shouts that the innkeeper has the eyes of Chaos under his clothes, then you show up out of nowhere! If someone can explain it to me, I would be amazed."
"You just explained it perfectly Korgidd" Rikarus states deadpan.