We were just about to have a picnic. Glad you showed up!<comes running back into the thread carrying an insanely huge amount of stuff>
Alright!
<drops all the stuff and starts pulling items out of the pile>
I got water balloons to rust the Jacks, Lock Tite adhesive to slow them down, a couple of giant electro-magnets we can bounce them between, an Official Loophole to deal with that dang LAW-mower, a packet of Sea Monkeys, a case of high octane rum spiked with sulfuric acid, some bananas, a water cannon, a copy of Play Poodle to be used as bait, two hundred gallons of Round-up and a ...
Hey, where'd everyone go?
Woot! Water balloon fight!!!
<throws a water balloon at Tossed Slaad>
You got me!
*throws a watermelon at Egg Slaad*
We were just about to have a picnic. Glad you showed up!<comes running back into the thread carrying an insanely huge amount of stuff>
Alright!
<drops all the stuff and starts pulling items out of the pile>
I got water balloons to rust the Jacks, Lock Tite adhesive to slow them down, a couple of giant electro-magnets we can bounce them between, an Official Loophole to deal with that dang LAW-mower, a packet of Sea Monkeys, a case of high octane rum spiked with sulfuric acid, some bananas, a water cannon, a copy of Play Poodle to be used as bait, two hundred gallons of Round-up and a ...
Hey, where'd everyone go?
Woot! Water balloon fight!!!
<throws a water balloon at Tossed Slaad>
You got me!
*throws a watermelon at Egg Slaad*
<watermelon splats on Egg Slaad's head>
Ouch! Mmmmmmm ... watermelon.
<throws bananas like boomerangs at Tossed Slaad and unsuccessfully tries to dodge the ones that miss as they come flying back at him>
{drops off recently ordered packages:
1) a heavy-duty slaad spinner for Tossed Slaad
2) a case of mayo for Potato Slaad
3) a case of bacon bits for Cobb Slaad
and a pallet of croutons for all.}
{drops off recently ordered packages:
1) a heavy-duty slaad spinner for Tossed Slaad
2) a case of mayo for Potato Slaad
3) a case of bacon bits for Cobb Slaad
and a pallet of croutons for all.}
And of course they forgot my relish ...
|
{drops off recently ordered packages:
1) a heavy-duty slaad spinner for Tossed Slaad
2) a case of mayo for Potato Slaad
3) a case of bacon bits for Cobb Slaad
and a pallet of croutons for all.}
And of course they forgot my relish ...
{pops in with puff of brimstone, speaks in monotone} DretchEx delivery. Here. is. your. relish. {sets down several quart jars of gourmet relish; from the blank expression, he appears dominated or compelled}
Oops. looks. like the. storekeeper. crossed. the. circle. {pops back out, leaving gnomish storekeeper's head and right arm behind}
Ooh! A slaad spinner! Now I can be all crisp and crunchy!
{spots Devlyn looking around, sniffing} *Hey, how can he smell me? I haven't even got a good drunk on* {smells self} *yeah, I'm not pukey-stinky yet.* {spots him sniffing} *I'm not- ooooh, right, lycanthrope. Duh.*
{smiles a little} *It's nice though when... after... he's all purry and rumbly.*
*Crap, I can't feel sorry for myself when he's around. I knew I should have gated out of here.* {hunkers down lower behind rubble}
Devlyn stops, tapping a bottle on the ground as he looks around, then shakes his head with a bit of frustration. He moves off, going past the rubble as he tries to pick up the trail again.
Takes a quick break to get some pebbles out of his boot.
"I swear I think this rubble is moving around the thread...weird. Maybe it's a chaos thing. Ahhh - that feels ever so much better," as he wriggles his toes and puts the boot back on.
Finally conceding that she just doesn't want to be found right now, he manages to chase down an omniportal and head back to the Jack threads.
{a medium nondescript rock suddenly shifts back into a cloak, exposing its wearer} {drops to a whisper:} ugh, that was WAY too loud... he what?! No, no, no, don't tell him... ugh, I look awful and puffy, and ugh, I stink!
{hastily scribbles a small note for Devlyn, hides it where the ranger would find it, and quickly heads off for nearby nymph pool}
{makes her way to the shore of the nymph pool} Nice of Everblooming Lily to sublet her pool to us in the summer months.
{sets a few of her own magical wards and alarms, then strips. Re-straps her rusty, pitted old bastard sword to her back, then eases out into the water} Aaaaaaaah!
{a medium nondescript rock suddenly shifts back into a cloak, exposing its wearer} {drops to a whisper:} ugh, that was WAY too loud... he what?! No, no, no, don't tell him... ugh, I look awful and puffy, and ugh, I stink!
{hastily scribbles a small note for Devlyn, hides it where the ranger would find it, and quickly heads off for nearby nymph pool}
Devlyn quietly enters the thread again, then starts heading east, looking for water, and going stealthy to not draw attention.
After a little while, he catches Ambrosia's scent again, and finds a piece of parchment stuffed in a bottle between two stones along the path he is walking. He opens the parchment...
Devlyn quietly enters the thread again, then starts heading east, looking for water, and going stealthy to not draw attention.
The note:
"Devlyn,
Sorry to ditch you last night. Loner instincts are
difficult to shake.
I headed down to a nearby nymph pool for a much needed
freshing up. If you stop by, you're welcome to pop in
for a cool break from the hot weather.
Ambi"
Meanwhile:
{most of the sudsing & scrubbing done, she floats languidly in the pool}
{her mithral chain shirt and damp washed clothing hang from a branch on a nearby tree}
{most of the sudsing & scrubbing done, she floats languidly in the pool}
{her mithral chain shirt and damp washed clothing hang from a branch on a nearby tree}
Devlyn finds the pool soon enough. Having treated with fey on more than one occasion, he stays to the shadows the tree cover provided and moves without a sound (avoiding any little snares or wards that might render him into multiple parts, of course) and homes in on the faint splashing sounds...
Ambrosia hears the sound of a twig snapping. As she whirls around, she sees a large mug sitting at the base of the tree where her clothes are hanging. She gets a whiff of....coffee.
Devlyn finds the pool soon enough. Having treated with fey on more than one occasion, he stays to the shadows the tree cover provided and moves without a sound (avoiding any little snares or wards that might render him into multiple parts, of course) and homes in on the faint splashing sounds...
Ambrosia hears the sound of a twig snapping. As she whirls around, she sees a large mug sitting at the base of the tree where her clothes are hanging. She gets a whiff of....coffee.
Son of a... Ow, ow, ow, ow! D*mn headache, my metabolism has usually taken care of it by now.
{stands clear of water, naked but for the sword, and cautiously wades ashore}
Coffee?! Certainly seems to be the Dalesman's, but... {first two attempts to cast Detect Poison fail, gets lucky on the third} Can't even get a basic cantrip correct now. {sips coffee tenatively} Mmmm, that's good. If it isn't from Devlyn, then whomever left it wants me awake before they kill me.
{still sees no sign of the Dalesman or anyone else, so slips back into the water up to her armpits}
I think the Maelstrom is a very romantic place for a courtship. I can't wait for the egging.
I think the Maelstrom is a very romantic place for a courtship. I can't wait for the egging.
<sniff> It's so touching. <sniff, sob> Young implan ... love ... yeah, that's it, love. <sniff>
We must be sure Scrappy-Doo Slaad does not see this, he may get the wrong idea about humping and implantation of eggs. He is already letting the poodles hump him senseless, though he says it is just a plan of his...
Son of a... Ow, ow, ow, ow! D*mn headache, my metabolism has usually taken care of it by now.
{stands clear of water, naked but for the sword, and cautiously wades ashore}
Coffee?! Certainly seems to be the Dalesman's, but... {first two attempts to cast Detect Poison fail, gets lucky on the third} Can't even get a basic cantrip correct now. {sips coffee tenatively} Mmmm, that's good. If it isn't from Devlyn, then whomever left it wants me awake before they kill me.
{still sees no sign of the Dalesman or anyone else, so slips back into the water up to her armpits}
As she nears the center of the pool, she hears a quiet but familiar voice behind her.
"Hi there, sweets. Thanks for the invite. Good coffee?"
As she nears the center of the pool, she hears a quiet but familiar voice behind her.
"Hi there, sweets. Thanks for the invite. Good coffee?"
{she swings her coffee mug around, only just stopping before clubbing him on the head with it. Her other hand is firmly wrapped about the hilt of the sword on her back.} You know there are much safer ways to approach a paranoid wom- slaad.
Yes, the coffee was very good. I'm a little surprised you are here though. {has a worried look on her face}
{she swings her coffee mug around, only just stopping before clubbing him on the head with it. Her other hand is firmly wrapped about the hilt of the sword on her back.} You know there are much safer ways to approach a paranoid wom- slaad.
Yes, the coffee was very good. I'm a little surprised you are here though. {has a worried look on her face}
To his credit, he didn't flinch - too much ;P
"Well you did invite me (unless someone else wrote this note). Though I did catch the scent of others about, if that's why you look worried."
"Your sister said you were sporting a wicked headache or hangover, so I thought I'd bring you something to help take the edge off of that. If you still need some 'quality time' I'll just leave the coffee and aspirin here for ya, and let you have your privacy. You can come find me when you're feeling better."
He starts to get up from the rock he was sitting cross-legged on.
To his credit, he didn't flinch - too much ;P
"Well you did invite me (unless someone else wrote this note). Though I did catch the scent of others about, if that's why you look worried."
"Your sister said you were sporting a wicked headache or hangover, so I thought I'd bring you something to help take the edge off of that. If you still need some 'quality time' I'll just leave the coffee and aspirin here for ya, and let you have your privacy. You can come find me when you're feeling better."
He starts to get up from the rock he was sitting cross-legged on.
No!- {winces from pain} No, you don't have to go... unless you want to. {smiles remembering some recent 'quality time.'}
Thank you for the coffee. I just wasn't expecting you to sneak up in the water. I didn't think your 'feline side' liked being in water.
I'm just a little... tense. And concerned. {offers a weak smile}
No!- {winces from pain} No, you don't have to go... unless you want to. {smiles remembering some recent 'quality time.'}
Thank you for the coffee. I just wasn't expecting you to sneak up in the water. I didn't think your 'feline side' liked being in water.
I'm just a little... tense. And concerned. {offers a weak smile}
"You do seem a wee bit tense, yes," he says with a chuckle as he sits back down.
"I'm sorry I spooked you. I guess it's just my feline side being mischevious. And since that part is tiger, I have no problem at all with the water," as he splashes a little bit at her with a playful look in his eyes.
"Now what are you concerned about? Is this a good place to talk about it, or would you be more comfortable going somewhere else?"
"I'm sorry I spooked you. I guess it's just my feline side being mischevious. And since that part is tiger, I have no problem at all with the water," as he splashes a little bit at her with a playful look in his eyes.
Good to know {smiles, quickly squashes naughty thoughts}
"Now what are you concerned about? Is this a good place to talk about it, or would you be more comfortable going somewhere else?"
It's about as secluded a place as there can be. Everblooming Lily keeps it that way, or there'd be scores of peeping toms running around like loons after being struck blind.
I'm little worried about your safety. None of the others who hang with the Jacks would dare harm Lynora-Jill, but you... I don't know how safe you are. And I can't have you getting hurt because of me.
"A smile. Now that's better - we're making progress." [splash]
"If you think I shouldn't be here (for my safety or just on principal), there's nothing saying that we can't go somewhere else. And I'm pretty resilient when it comes to abuse, if it comes down to it, so don't worry about that overly much - though I appreciate it," he says with a wink.
"A smile. Now that's better - we're making progress." [splash]
{half-heartedly splashes back}
"If you think I shouldn't be here (for my safety or just on principal), there's nothing saying that we can't go somewhere else." And I'm pretty resilient when it comes to abuse, if it comes down to it, so don't worry about that overly much - though I appreciate it," he says with a wink.
No, I mean that I'm the one putting you in danger. If I'm around, there's no telling what might come after you. Revenge, malice, spite... they're all pretty potent motivators.
I don't doubt your prowess in combat {smiles thinking about his other 'prowess'} or endurance {grins, squashes naughty thoughts again}... but that Jackskunk... or that PlantJack thing... I'm not even sure that Greyish-Greenish is just a poodle and not some elder evil...
I'm not even sure I can protect you from the other slaadi.
And I won't be the one to take you from your family, the Jacks.
Nine Hells, I'm not even a real human! I'm just an oversized outerplaner toad that dreamed she was a woman... another fake, a trickster who fell for her own con... {closes eyes & lowers head in shame, unable to continue}
<hands some popcorn over to Tossed Slaad>
Oh, the drama, the DRAMA!!
Will Jack o' Nine Dales accept Ambrosia for who/what she is? Will Ambrosia accept herself? Will the there be an egging in their future, or will they live happily ever after? Will the Jacks ever discover their pool balls are really custom made Spheres of Chaos designed to make their next game more interesting? Will we ever know the average wind speed of a coconut laden swallow?
Tune in next time for answers to these and other questions on
As the Maelstrom Turns Wildly Out OF Control
"The Jacks are pretty easy-going about their fighting, at least in hindsight. LJ counts you as a friend, so that means you should be okay with the Jacks. I got a little bit of a lecture (sort of) from Jack Hammer over the whole thing, but that was it."
"And if the other Slaad had it in for me, they would've pummelled me into the ground either or both times I've been back here by myself."
"You're also a member of a shapeshifting race. Doesn't seem so wrong to me to really like some of the forms you can take."
He shrugs.
"It may not be as big of a deal as you think, is all I'm saying."
Brrr, this pond is gonna get chilly tonight. And my hands are gonna get all pruny.
2) a case of mayo for Potato Slaad
Huzzah! I can always use more.
Huzzah! I can always use more.2) a case of mayo for Potato Slaad
Be careful! No one likes a potato slaad with too much mayo.
Be careful! No one likes a potato slaad with too much mayo.Huzzah! I can always use more.2) a case of mayo for Potato Slaad
Actually, my Auntie Jezebel does. Of course, she has spent the last few years on the Plane of Pandemonium.....
Mmmmm.....coconut
Brrr, this pond is gonna get chilly tonight. And my hands are gonna get all pruny.
"Pruny hands - the horror!" he gasps. "May I recommend coming out of that cold water then. I'm sure I can scare up a towel or something else warm for you," he says with a grin.
"The beaches around the party site stay comfortable day and night, and there's plenty of places to go that aren't crowded..."
I've got a great event to attend tonight - a Night Out Against Crime in a park near the house. I've never done one of these before - usually it's just picnics, family reunions, and the occasional holiday.
I've got a great event to attend tonight - a Night Out Against Crime in a park near the house. I've never done one of these before - usually it's just picnics, family reunions, and the occasional holiday.
Fellow Slaads! I think we have angered the boss - Chef's Slaad. He has not posted here in over a month and a half! We must make ammends, and draw the original Slaad back to guide us into our glorious future!
Maybe we should make a sacrifice of some sort for him.
"Pruny hands - the horror!" he gasps. "May I recommend coming out of that cold water then. I'm sure I can scare up a towel or something else warm for you," he says with a grin.
"The beaches around the party site stay comfortable day and night, and there's plenty of places to go that aren't crowded..."
{wades back out of the water, hastily dries off, and starts slipping back into clothes} Are you hungry, Dalesman? {she tries to do a little 'bump and grind' for him while dressing, but the shivering throws off her rythym}
I have a loaf of bread, some cheese, and a bottle of elven wine in my Bag of Holding. Or maybe we can pop into some little place and eat out?
{wades back out of the water, hastily dries off, and starts slipping back into clothes} Are you hungry, Dalesman? {she tries to do a little 'bump and grind' for him while dressing, but the shivering throws off her rythym}
She can tell he appreciates the little dance (and maybe even the chill in the air - just a bit)
I have a loaf of bread, some cheese, and a bottle of elven wine in my Bag of Holding. Or maybe we can pop into some little place and eat out?
"I've got some apples and strawberries in my haversack, but I think we need to get you someplace warm for right now," as he throws a long cloak around her once she's done dressing.
"It sounds like you have a 'little place' in mind, so why don't we go there first? Then we can see about something outside later."
Maybe we should make a sacrifice of some sort for him.
<goes off and gathers up a bunch of chefs>
You think these would work?
<checks the time>
Crap! We're missing As the Maelstrom Turns Out Of Control! We've got to do this sacrificing quick!!
Well, you know, quick and proper ... not just quick and stab-the-chef-drop-him-grab-another-repeat-process-in-a-mindless-fashion-un til-all-chefs-are-dead-with-no-regard-to-procedure kinda way ... though we ARE slaads ... do we regard procedures?
Ah, what the heck.
<starts sacrificing chefs in a chaotic manner>
WHEEEEEEE!!!!!
*starts tearing apart chefs with reckless abandon*
She can tell he appreciates the little dance (and maybe even the chill in the air - just a bit)
{blushes; at least her cheeks feel warm}
"I've got some apples and strawberries in my haversack, but I think we need to get you someplace warm for right now," as he throws a long cloak around her once she's done dressing.
"It sounds like you have a 'little place' in mind, so why don't we go there first? Then we can see about something outside later."
Lily keeps the water temperature magically on the chilly side- {accepts cloak gratefully} probably from the effects it has on her, um,... anyway, if you are up for a little hike, there is a spot not too far from here.
{takes the lead and heads off up a barely discernable path}
She can tell he appreciates the little dance (and maybe even the chill in the air - just a bit){blushes; at least her cheeks feel warm}
"I've got some apples and strawberries in my haversack, but I think we need to get you someplace warm for right now," as he throws a long cloak around her once she's done dressing.
"It sounds like you have a 'little place' in mind, so why don't we go there first? Then we can see about something outside later."
Lily keeps the water temperature magically on the chilly side- {accepts cloak gratefully} probably from the effects it has on her, um,... anyway, if you are up for a little hike, there is a spot not too far from here.
{takes the lead and heads off up a barely discernable path}
"Gotta love fey," he laughs. "I can handle some more walking, lead on," as he follows her.
"Gotta love fey," he laughs. "I can handle some more walking, lead on," as he follows her.
I'll have to find another pool in a couple months. She'll be migrating back as the weather up North turns too cold. It doesn't seem to bother her, but I think it's easier for her to lure planar newbs to her when they aren't worried about frostbite in their, um, extremities.
{after a short hike} Well, her it is. {she stops to glance around the majestic mountainside vista} It's odd, a couple months ago, I would of just thought it another place to stalk prey or to test my survival skills, but now... I've started to appreciate it's raw beauty... and the quiet.
Is this ok?
I'll have to find another pool in a couple months. She'll be migrating back as the weather up North turns too cold. It doesn't seem to bother her, but I think it's easier for her to lure planar newbs to her when they aren't worried about frostbite in their, um, extremities.
{after a short hike} Well, her it is. {she stops to glance around the majestic mountainside vista} It's odd, a couple months ago, I would of just thought it another place to stalk prey or to test my survival skills, but now... I've started to appreciate it's raw beauty... and the quiet.
Is this ok?
"It looks like a good place to do all of those things. It's okay by me," he says with a smile as he plops his haversack down and starts breaking out the food.