Herre is you're halfe a slaade, Sytte!
<Double-take as there are no longer two halves of a slaad>
<Another double-take as shuriken fly>
Eieiooooooooo!!!
<Dies>
<Reforms from the stuff of chaos>
That wasn't nice. Who gave you the axe?
Sytt, you jerk! Oh, anarchic shuriken. Sure! I'll take those. Here's the dressing.
Heh heh...now just need some croutons. Hey, hurry up with the slaad or I'm taking the ax back. Tell ya what, I'll give you a bit o' extra time if ya give me some croutons as a deposit.
Your ax is on the floor, next to the impostor-Potato Slaad. I'd pick it up, but it's hot and it hurts and stuff.
Heh heh...now just need some croutons. Hey, hurry up with the slaad or I'm taking the ax back. Tell ya what, I'll give you a bit o' extra time if ya give me some croutons as a deposit.<Reforms from the stuff of chaos>
That wasn't nice. Who gave you the axe?
Sytt, you jerk! Oh, anarchic shuriken. Sure! I'll take those. Here's the dressing.
I've got croutons. Make me an offer.
Ai de dios! I leave to go get cervezas and just look at the chaos!
It's so ... beautiful!
Yo me gusta chaos!
I've got croutons. Make me an offer.Heh heh...now just need some croutons. Hey, hurry up with the slaad or I'm taking the ax back. Tell ya what, I'll give you a bit o' extra time if ya give me some croutons as a deposit.<Reforms from the stuff of chaos>
That wasn't nice. Who gave you the axe?
Sytt, you jerk! Oh, anarchic shuriken. Sure! I'll take those. Here's the dressing.
"Alright. I'll give ya a, uh...huh. Okay, I'll give ya this cool rock I found if you give me croutons. The rock may or may not be a grey lodestone from 3rd edition.
I got croutons. Heck, I'm all about croutons. Got bacon bits too. Wanna see my bacon bits?
|
Ignore him, he's afraid of cows. Goblins provide excellent nutrients which, when combined with cow stomach acids, make them invulnerable. As such, cows are constantly attacking the sad creatures.See, cows kinda trample everything they see. The only thing that could grow in a "cow garden" would be mushrooms (from the crap).Whoops. Avatar mishap. Let's try that again.Nah, I'm organically grown. How do cows come from gardens?I come from a garden. You're imported from Mexico on a truck.Enough niceties. Slaadtown's been a breeding ground for bacteria for too long. I say it's time to put someone in the spinner. That's right. Time for a turf war.No no no... you gotta get washed first, then go in the spinner.
And wouldn't it be a garden war? Slaadi don't come from turf. We come from gardens. See, this is what comes from being so old... you don't know anything cause you're going senile.No, I'm afraid of horses. And dogs. But not cows. Cows are fat and tasty.
Hey, slaadi. Anyone know where the ranch is? Though you better avoid it, Gark. It gots cows in it.
Begone, slaad-killers! And that means you, Dan Quayle! And the Pitchfork Salesman! And Slytt!
Slaad unite (even though that's a bit paradoxical...)!
The rock may or may not be a grey lodestone from 3rd edition.
Do you mean an ioun stone? Cause I hear they're great as currency on Golarion.
If you kill slaadi, we come back twice as strong... or is it twice as many... or twice as chaotic? Or maybe twice as uncertain...?|
|
"Alright. I'll give ya a, uh...huh. Okay, I'll give ya this cool rock I found if you give me croutons. The rock may or may not be a grey lodestone from 3rd edition.I've got croutons. Make me an offer.Heh heh...now just need some croutons. Hey, hurry up with the slaad or I'm taking the ax back. Tell ya what, I'll give you a bit o' extra time if ya give me some croutons as a deposit.<Reforms from the stuff of chaos>
That wasn't nice. Who gave you the axe?
Sytt, you jerk! Oh, anarchic shuriken. Sure! I'll take those. Here's the dressing.
Trading isn't the slaad way! Just kill them and take it! (Of course, socializing isn't really the slaad way either, but then again we are chaotic.)
Trading isn't the slaad way! Just kill them and take it! (Of course, socializing isn't really the slaad way either, but then again we are chaotic.)
No no no, we trade and then kill them and take back the trade. Or kill the people they trade our goods with. Or not.
No no no, we trade and then kill them and take back the trade. Or kill the people they trade our goods with. Or not.
Trading isn't the slaad way! Just kill them and take it! (Of course, socializing isn't really the slaad way either, but then again we are chaotic.)
Can't we kill them first, then do the trading?
Wow, a salad thread! That's pretty neat!
<looks around>
You're, um, not salads.
<Backs away slowly>
Wow, a salad thread! That's pretty neat!
<looks around>
You're, um, not salads.
<Backs away slowly>
MMM...
Yo me gusta salad!
Whips out fork and ranch dressing
| 1 person marked this as a favorite. |
Sometimes the best way to be chaotic is to be lawful when people don't expect it.
Think about it.
Begone, slaad-killers! And that means you, Dan Quayle! And the Pitchfork Salesman! And Slytt!
Slaad unite (even though that's a bit paradoxical...)!
The rock may or may not be a grey lodestone from 3rd edition.Do you mean an ioun stone? Cause I hear they're great as currency on Golarion.
If you kill slaadi, we come back twice as...
I think it's three times, actually.
And my name is Sytt. No 'l'.|
|
Begone, slaad-killers! And that means you, Dan Quayle! And the Pitchfork Salesman! And Slytt!
Slaad unite (even though that's a bit paradoxical...)!
The rock may or may not be a grey lodestone from 3rd edition.Do you mean an ioun stone? Cause I hear they're great as currency on Golarion.
If you kill slaadi, we come back twice as...I think it's three times, actually.
And my name is Sytt. No 'l'.
Whatever. You're still here.
Think about it.
I prefer not to......it hurts.
I thought you had to go? Come back for some more slaad?
No, mi amigo, I said I just got back. Cerveza? I have Dos Equuis!
Cerveza? I have Dos Equuis!
Mmmm.....beer.
Somebody asked for some Ranch Dretching?
This is still the best thread ever.
This is still the best thread ever.
Of course it is. We celebrate the endless variety and excellent taste you get with all things Slaad! How could anything be better?
|
|
This is still the best thread ever.Of course it is. We celebrate the endless variety and excellent taste you get with all things Slaad! How could anything be better?
Well, if we had some slaad chicks. (Or, no, that doesn't work... maybe some humanoids to implant eggs in? Is there even such a thing as female slaad?)
Or maybe some more dresses. (Do we dress in drag? Do we even have genders? This is all very confusing. I think I'm having an identity crisis.)I'm gonna go see this lillend I know, who's got some really nice sedatives.
<Jumps on Tossed Slaad>
You look like you need some Ranch Dretching!
Mmm. Dretching.
You don't look like you're from a ranch...<Jumps on Tossed Slaad>
You look like you need some Ranch Dretching!
Moo?
A joke for all you slaads: What did I say when someone opened the refrigerator door?
A joke for all you slaads: What did I say when someone opened the refrigerator door?
** spoiler omitted **
I like this dretch, even though even though it clashes with my taste profile. It has a good sense of alternate uses of one of my core components. ;)
Can we invite the dretching to Slaadcon?
Sure. I was going to bring my little Caesar dretching anyways. Everyone bring their own dretching and no swapping.
Hooray! I'm going to SlaadCon! It's so much better than getting eaten by a vrock.
Hooray! I'm going to SlaadCon! It's so much better than getting eaten by a vrock.
But ... what did you think was going to happen to you at SlaadCon?
Hooray! I'm going to SlaadCon! It's so much better than getting eaten by a vrock.But ... what did you think was going to happen to you at SlaadCon?
Cheese anyone?
Mmmmm.....cheese.
Stop being so dretchy.Hooray! I'm going to SlaadCon! It's so much better than getting eaten by a vrock.But ... what did you think was going to happen to you at SlaadCon?
No need to worry about the vrocks... *Grins and starts tying a napkin around neck*
|
|
No need to worry about the vrocks... *Grins and starts tying a napkin around neck*Stop being so dretchy.Hooray! I'm going to SlaadCon! It's so much better than getting eaten by a vrock.But ... what did you think was going to happen to you at SlaadCon?
'Least Sytt isn't a greater yugoloth, or it would be harder to eat him.
No need to worry about the vrocks... *Grins and starts tying a napkin around neck*Stop being so dretchy.Hooray! I'm going to SlaadCon! It's so much better than getting eaten by a vrock.But ... what did you think was going to happen to you at SlaadCon?
Sytt, sytt ... who's a good Yugoloth? You're a good Yugoloth. Sytt, stay.
<tosses a Yugoloth treat to Sytt>
Good ... Boy? Girl? Asexual Outsider?
|
|
No need to worry about the vrocks... *Grins and starts tying a napkin around neck*Stop being so dretchy.Hooray! I'm going to SlaadCon! It's so much better than getting eaten by a vrock.But ... what did you think was going to happen to you at SlaadCon?Sytt, sytt ... who's a good Yugoloth? You're a good Yugoloth. Sytt, stay.
<tosses a Yugoloth treat to Sytt>
Good ... Boy? Girl? Asexual Outsider?
We should ask a Paizo rep what genders (if any) outsiders have in PF. I mean, has anyone ever seen a feminine slaad or yugoloth?
We should ask a Paizo rep what genders (if any) outsiders have in PF. I mean, has anyone ever seen a feminine slaad or yugoloth?
I've got my eye on a cute Greek Slaad. She is hot.
We should ask a Paizo rep what genders (if any) outsiders have in PF. I mean, has anyone ever seen a feminine slaad or yugoloth?
You called?
And take me on my word about the feminine yugoloth thing. That other rumor about yugoloth gender, well... we don't like to talk about that.
|
|
We should ask a Paizo rep what genders (if any) outsiders have in PF. I mean, has anyone ever seen a feminine slaad or yugoloth?You called?
And take me on my word about the feminine yugoloth thing. That other rumor about yugoloth gender, well... we don't like to talk about that.
The ambiguous gender? Cause you certainly got that right.
I think this thread needs to be cleansed of puns... phunnigated.
How about another joke?
Why did the tomato turn red?