"Quick Benedict, get this camera fixed, we have to be ready to capture th pyrotechnics!!"
The blue citizen, Dave-B-AST-3, reaches into a box and pulls out a pair of fine looking red boots. He smiles proudly as he holds them up for all to see.
"Behold, Extreme Moral Boots. This fine new prototype is designed to monitor the wearer's stress levels, via various chemical and pheremone analyzers. If the wearer becomes stressed beyond the computers ideal bliss threshold then the boots will begin to play various computer prescribed loyalty songs specifically composed to bring the wearer back into the ideal bliss threshold- also known as the IBT. The songs will continue to play until the IBT has been achieved.
Now I need a volunteer."
He looks towards you troubleshooters, as you look back at him, wonder where pyrotechnics fits into all of this.
"Oooooh!!! ooohh!!!! me!!! pick me!!!'
waveing hand around wildly, jumping up and down
"Niiiice. There's a brave man. Clean, too."
<Johnny crosses his arms smugly and awaits the screaming.>
looks over her shoulder"How loyal...wonder if those boots will work on him..."
Oooooh!! Oooooh!! Pick Johnny!! Pick Johnny!! He's a little stressed, I hear.
<Benedict finishes playing with Rosas's camera and tosses it back to her.>
All set. Good as new.
O&BGM
You guys enjoy the show, I'm going to make sure these 'bots are in good shape. After all the excitement, they might have some carbon-scoring.
<Benedict turns to the DocBot, making sure it is good shape.>
O&BGM
"Teah, I say Johnny should give them a try. You could use a bit of calming, Johnny."
Yossa places a hand on Benedict's shoulder and peers at his work. "Don't worry Benedict, I'm sure you won't cause a catastrophic malfunction."
GM:
"Ooooo my camera is fixed? let's check it out..."set it up on the tripod, get some test footage..."don't want to miss any good fire!!!"
Benedict you saw that Yossa had already done a little repair work on Doc right after the explosion, so you take the opportunity to inspect his work
Benedict
Yossa
Rosas
Dave-B-AST-3 looks Rolf over and says, "Thank you for your enthusiasm good citizen. However, you look like you are already operating well with the mandatory bliss levels. I think I need a candidate who appears closer to exhibiting substandard morale."
He then looks towards Johnny.
"You look a little more edgy. I think that you will make a good volunteer. Come forward please and try on these fine boots."
Everyone watches with big smiles waiting for Johnny to step up and put on the boots.
Stomps her foot and whimpers..."Benedict.....the camera is still broken...can you pleeeeeease come over here and try to fix it you super smart mutant equipment guru"
Everyone watches with big smiles waiting for Johnny to step up and put on the boots.
"Johnny is calm as an LED floorlamp. Whatever."
<Johnny slips the boots on.>
Benedict
Nothing happens when Johnny slips the boots on. Dave looks a little perplexed. Then one of the techies nearby says. "Perhaps nothing is happening because he is within the mandatory bliss range."
"Yes, I suppose that must be it." replies Dave.
"What we need to do is figure out a way to increase his stress level," suggests the techie.
"Good idea! Anyone have any suggestions on how best to do that?"
Hum i thought this place was supposed to have explosions or somthing, at least that was what the name implies isnt it?
"How about you blast that mutie Benedict with a Plasma Cannon, I'm sure that will stress me out."
"And one more thing... 'team' ..."
<Makes quotation marks with his fingers.>
"I've been a nice guy but that's that. When this is over you can all expect a full body hygiene exam, so make sure you anuses are squeaky clean."
<Snorts.>
"And I'm sending a message to myself in case the privilege falls onto Johnny 2."
<Taps at his PDC. Turns to the researchers.>
"Well?"
Sure. Rosas ... whatever you say.
<As Benedict goes to Rosas to help fix her camera, refusing to think about why Johnny is so interested in his anus, he can't help but feel his pants becoming more and more uncomfortable. Too tight, he thinks.>
O&BGM
Here, Rosas, let me have a look at that thing again.
Sure. Rosas ... whatever you say.
<As Benedict goes to Rosas to help fix her camera, refusing to think about why Johnny is so interested in his anus, he can't help but feel his pants becoming more and more uncomfortable. Too tight, he thinks.>
O&BGM
** spoiler omitted **Here, Rosas, let me have a look at that thing again.
"It's on the tripod already, just look at it on there...pleeeease..."
Since no one seems to have any real bright ideas about how to get Johnny a little more ramped up. Dave looks around at some nearby boxes. He reaches into one and pulls out a handful of small firecrackers.
"We could light some of these up and put them down the front of your pants. Of course... Hmm.. Yes, that probably would do more than just cause you stress.
Wait! Your anus comment gave me an idea! I have a cracker with a really long wick. We could put the fire cracker in your anus and light the wick. It would take a few minutes for the wick to reach the cracker, and in that time you would surely become sufficiently stressed. As soon as the boots started to sing. We would pull out the firecracker and you in all likelihood would not be injured. How does that sound?"
"Hey, that could work. Benedict, go shove a firecracker up Johnny's anus."
"But Benedict, you haven't fixed my camera yet..." POUT
"Is that the best you can do? Stick things in someone's anus? If you tell me you're going to take it out how is that going to stress me. Heck, maybe I'll like it."
<Johnny is beginning to raise his voice. The appalling stupidity that he must put up with gets him on edge.>
"FOR CRYING OUT LOUD HOW DID YOU MORONS GET PAST INFRARED?!?! SOMEONE PLEASE GIVE ME A PLASMA CANNON SO I CAN MAKE THIS RIGHT!"
<The veins in Johnny's temples are bulging.>
As the vein in Johnny's forehead threatens to explode, suddenly Johnny's boots start to sing. They first break out into a Teela-O loyalty song praising the computer and his wisdom. If the sound system in the boots was better it almost might be soothing, and it almost might make one slightly less stressed and agitated. However, given that is not in fact the case and that her voice comes off sounding more like a scrub bot trying to carry a tune, you instead can't help but feel more annoyed than ever.
Dave and the other techies hum and hah and make notes on their clip boards.
Several minutes pass. The singing continues. Finally the boots shut up.
Finally Dave says, "Well they don't appear to reduced his stress level, as fast as we'd hoped, but I still think they're ready for field testing.
Johnny you're going to keep these boots for now, and I'd like you to file regular reports documenting any situation that triggers the boots, and how the boots help to regulate your stress levels.
I hope they serve you well citizen. It is clear to me that you have a lot of pent up hostility, and perhaps these are just the thing to temper that.
Now that reminds me there are a couple of other items we'd like you to field test..."
Rosas is crushed
"Happiness officer, I need to be happy, I could use some pills...better yet...light Johnny on fire for me...."
Rolf stands there for a bit stairing off into space. Suddenly he snaps to and starts looking around "OH! sure thing Rosa! Ive got just the thing for you, let me see...." starts fishing around in bag"ah here it is, I knew it was in here somewhere!" pulls out a single pink pill and hands it to Rosa.
"Oooh, Oooh! what are these other items?!? Do I get to test one?!? Oooh!" starts hopping around like a kid in a toy store.
Dave replies "Ah yes the other items."
He calls forth another bot. The bot is a jack bot on tracks decked out with a huge array of sensors. "This is Carl. Carl is a prototype tracker bot. He's designed for tracking down traitors, and you will have the chance to test him out and report on his performance."
He then finds a large jar of gelatinous goo. On the jar it says "Nanobyte Anti-Virus".
"Be careful with this stuff. It is very sticky, but should be useful against viruses of all kinds."
The last item is a belt that with several carry cartridges attached to it. The cartridges are designed to hold cans of Bouncy Bubble Beverage, and with a remote control one can cause them to fire the cans up in the air so that the user can quickly catch them and start drinking. The belt then rotates the next cartridge forward so that a new can is ready to be dispensed.
"Well that pretty much does it for now. Where's all your standard gear? Have you been to PLC yet?"
Rosas takes the pretty pink pill, and begins to break down her recording equipment...moaning and groaning about the lack of fire...
Rosas takes the pretty pink pill, and begins to break down her recording equipment...moaning and groaning about the lack of fire...
"No we haven't been to PLC yet...we were ordered here before outfitting"
"Johnny you're going to keep these boots for now, and I'd like you to file regular reports documenting any situation that triggers the boots, and how the boots help to regulate your stress levels.
I hope they serve you well citizen. It is clear to me that you have a lot of pent up hostility, and perhaps these are just the thing to temper that.
Now that reminds me there are a couple of other items we'd like you to field test..."
<Johnny scowls and mutters to himself.>
"... nutwad."
<The boots sing cheerily.>
Yossa looks over the experimental equipment. "You know, I always wanted to be able to drink Bouncy Bubble Beverage even faster." With that, he throws open his trenchcoat, buckles the belt around his waist and, if it isn't already loaded, he takes six cans of Bouncy Bubble Beverage from various pockets and loads them in.
As you step out of the R&D lab into the hall, you suddenly see a squad of 4 green vulture goons come around the corner, following behind them is the same UV citizen you encountered at the firing range. The vulture squad goons look pissed. They are fully armored and packing fully automatic state of the art slugthrower rifles.
One of them suddenly calls out. "TROUBLE SHOOTERS, STOP RIGHT THERE!" Hs voice is full of menace.
What do you do?
what effects do the pink pill give me now?
In some weird twist of physics, Rosas feet halt, while her upper body continues moving, causing her to rotate face first into the floor, bringing her hands up just in time to prevent a broken nose
Rosas
"ooooo chocolate...I loooooove chocolate"
"Wow, thanks Rolf...that was a super happy pill, you should give one to everyone!, I don't think I've ever been this happy, well maybe this one time...in band sector."
Yossa freezes mid-step. "Now, what seems to be the problem, sirs?", he says with awe.
UP AGAINST THE WALL. ALL OF YOU!
"Yes, sir!"
Yossa complies with the orders.
In her outdoor voice Rosas SHOUTS "ROLF, THIS STUFF IS SOME MEAN STUFF...I GOT MELTING GREEN TREES TELLING ME TO GET AGAINST THE WALL!!!BUT I JUST WANT TO EAT THE WHITE CHOCOLATE...WHAT SHOULD I DO???"
AGAINST THE WALL NOW!
a "green tree" moves towards Rosas ready to hand her a beating.
"AH!!! it's moving!!!"
Rosas spins around and hits the wall..
"ooooo" she sputters as the wall is leaking rusty water
"AH!!! it's moving!!!"
Rosas spins around and hits the wall..
"ooooo" she sputters as the wall is leaking rusty water ** spoiler omitted ** "YUM! B3!!!" as she begins to lick the wall. "That's a new flavor...you guys should try this!!!"
"A little bitter, but nice and tangy!"
rolf throws himself against the wall, "I dont even know what white chocolate is Rosas! I say go with your gut feeling though!"
I am going to attempt to make the uv citizen feel a great kinship towards me with my mutie power as im facing the wall so that no visible effects are knoticed by anyone else.
If any of the guards pass by me in a threatening manner I am going to use my trip passerby in conjunction with concealment to keep anyone from realizing that I did it.
I dont want to dieeeee! also I am asuming that the pill i gave Rosas is some sort of halucinagin due to how she is acting.
"Bah, chocolate, now I got this Bouncy Bubbly Beverage to drink!"
"You should try some...everyone should try some"
Then of course
lick some more B3...YUM!
oh I got a question...
"WHOOOOAAAAAAAAA"
Rosas begins to slide down the wall face first
Rosas
Rolf
It seems that everyone follows directions. Rolf and Yossa are particularly quick to line up. However, Benedict and Johnny are slow to get moving. The green cards aren't too happy about their lack of enthusiasm for following directions. They are each double teamed by the guards and thrown to the ground. They are then subjected to a brutal thrashing. They are kicked and beaten with rifle butts for what feels like a long time. When the guards are done with them, they are still alive, but that is about the best you can say for them.
As Rosas slides down the wall, one of the vulture goons grabs her and throws her onto the ground. Here you go wall licker. He then jams a note into her mouth and the guards stomp off.
I will quickly pull the note out of Rosas mouth before she gets the idea that it is some sort of eatable and read it.
Here Benedict and Johnny you look like you could use these"
I hand each of you a little black pill