Let me start off with:
Tagline: Life on earth is in for a shock.
Plot: Seeking refuge from a typhoon, the crew of an American tugboat boards a top secret Russian research vessel and finds it infected by an alien life form which regards humans as a virus which must be destroyed at any cost!
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DeepStar Six. Just like Alien, but underwater. In fairness, though, I have to say that it suffered by comparison with Leviathan and The Abyss [1], both of which came out the same year.
[1] The plot might've been kind of flaky, but the production values and technical expertise on The Abyss were nothing short of amazing.
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Anything Uwe Boll does.
He has graced us with such masterpieces of awful as "Bloodrayne" and "House of the Dead."
P.S. Nothing But Trouble is stupid, but it is funny. ;)
And Fifth Element?? Come on! That movie was all kinds of awesome!
Dumb and Dumberer....There is no dumber movie.
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Just about anything on the 'Lifetime Movie Network'
I once blocked that channel--it's the most deceitful thing I've ever done to my wife. I made a channel preset, a favorites menu that didn't include the listing and that I renamed 'All Channels' and set as the first set-list on the satellite receiver, and even called Dish Network to see if I could have it removed from the programming.
My wife would watch a couple of Lifetime's misandry-movies, and then blame me for all the foibles, crimes, and perfidies of men worldwide.
I remember going to work once and overhearing some of the guys talking about how much they hated the Lifetime 'Man-Hater' Channel. I rolled my chair over to the little knot of unknowing misogynists and nearly wept for the joy of commiseration and companionship I had finally found.
The Lifetime Network had succeeded in the ultimate transmogrification...
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Just about anything on the 'Lifetime Movie Network'I once blocked that channel--it's the most deceitful thing I've ever done to my wife. I made a channel preset, a favorites menu that didn't include the listing and that I renamed 'All Channels' and set as the first set-list on the satellite receiver, and even called Dish Network to see if I could have it removed from the programming.
My wife would watch a couple of Lifetime's misandry-movies, and then blame me for all the foibles, crimes, and perfidies of men worldwide.
I remember going to work once and overhearing some of the guys talking about how much they hated the Lifetime 'Man-Hater' Channel. I rolled my chair over to the little knot of unknowing misogynists and nearly wept for the joy of commiseration and companionship I had finally found.
The Lifetime Network had succeeded in the ultimate transmogrification...
So.....ummm......You purposefully and with a fair amount of thought deceived your wife in a blatant manner because she was blaming you for bad stuff that men do worldwide?.....Interesting. Yeah, she was TOTALLY off about you.
;PJust messin' with you, brother, I'd of done the same if I had remote/cable skillz like that.
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RPG Superstar 2010 Top 16
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It's hard to out-dumb "Plan 9 from Outer Space". From the opening narration by 5th-rate mentalist Criswell ("Good evening my friends. We are all very interested in the future, because it is where you and I will be spending... the rest of our lives.") to the breath-takingly terrible dialogue, to the production errors, to using the director's wife's cousin's 6'-tall blond chiropractor as a stand-in for Bela Lagosi, there's really nothing to recommend this film as anything but a very low bar for middle-school film students to surpass.
There's "Reefer Madness".
There's that marvel of nuance and understatement, "Battlefield: Earth".
If you thought that "Phantom Menace" or "Matrix:Reloaded" were the exemplars of sequels killing perfectly good movies, then I've got the second worst film Sean Connery ever did to show you: "Highlander II". Immortals? Nah, we're aliens from the planet Zeist.
Lindsay Lohan in "I Know Who Killed Me" gives torture porn a bad name.
But you haven't seen bad till you've seen Sean Connery's worst movie.
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But you haven't seen bad till you've seen Sean Connery's worst movie.
drugs are bad, m'kay? ;)
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Worst Movie Ever:
The Muppet Wizard of Oz
This putrid mass is simply chock-full of horribleness. You think combining two classics like the Muppets and the The Wizard of Oz, you couldn't fail, right? Oh somehow they found a way. Let me just point out the top highlights.
WARNING: MAY INDUCE VOMITING
1. Queen Latifah is in the movie. This is the first problem.
2. Dorothy is a wannabe rap/r&b singer named Ashanti. She can neither act nor sing.
3. Kermit makes inappropriate jokes. As the scarecrow he is hanging on a post and proclaims "Look at me! I'm the Passion of Christ!" (Note: Actual movie quote.)
4. Gonzo makes references to touching his nipples. Remember this is supposed to be a family show.
5. Miss Piggy dressed as a Dominatrix
6. The "wizard" appears to Gonzo as a badly-done CGI woman with huge, barely covered breasts.
7. The characters inexplicably enter a dance nightclub in one scene.
8. Dorothy's goal is to become a famous singer, not go home.
9. Toto is a shrimp interested only in becoming Dorothy's manager to make money.
10. Quentin Tarantino has a bizarre scene with Kermit where he describes incredibly violent and gory scenarios to him that have nothing to do with the rest of the movie.
This is typical of the awfulness that Disney puts out now.
Michael Eisner should be locked up for damaging the reputation of Jim Henson, Walt Disney, and L. Frank Baum.
Worst Movie Ever:
The Muppet Wizard of Oz
This putrid mass is simply chock-full of horribleness. You think combining two classics like the Muppets and the The Wizard of Oz, you couldn't fail, right? Oh somehow they found a way. Let me just point out the top highlights.
*snip*
Wow. I want to see this.
I have heard those Lifetime channel movies mentioned here and there, and would like to see some shining examples of those too.
Worst Movie Ever:
The Muppet Wizard of Oz
This putrid mass is simply chock-full of horribleness. You think combining two classics like the Muppets and the The Wizard of Oz, you couldn't fail, right? Oh somehow they found a way. Let me just point out the top highlights.
WARNING: MAY INDUCE VOMITING
1. Queen Latifah is in the movie. This is the first problem.
2. Dorothy is a wannabe rap/r&b singer named Ashanti. She can neither act nor sing.
3. Kermit makes inappropriate jokes. As the scarecrow he is hanging on a post and proclaims "Look at me! I'm the Passion of Christ!" (Note: Actual movie quote.)
4. Gonzo makes references to touching his nipples. Remember this is supposed to be a family show.
5. Miss Piggy dressed as a Dominatrix
6. The "wizard" appears to Gonzo as a badly-done CGI woman with huge, barely covered breasts.
7. The characters inexplicably enter a dance nightclub in one scene.
8. Dorothy's goal is to become a famous singer, not go home.
9. Toto is a shrimp interested only in becoming Dorothy's manager to make money.
10. Quentin Tarantino has a bizarre scene with Kermit where he describes incredibly violent and gory scenarios to him that have nothing to do with the rest of the movie.
This is typical of the awfulness that Disney puts out now.
Michael Eisner should be locked up for damaging the reputation of Jim Henson, Walt Disney, and L. Frank Baum.
Oh c'mon. That movie is funny. And at the number 4 on your list me and my friend laught so hard we almost couldnät breath.
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This movie starred Bill Murray, one of my favorite actors (and star of two of my top ten movies ever: Groundhog Day and Ghostbusters.
I was psyched, since the adverts made it look really good. My wife and I got a night out together (which if you know our circumstances is a minor miracle in its own right) and we decided to go see this in theaters ....
:/
We walked out after about 45 minutes. The plot was nonsensical, the cinematography was lame and Owen Wilson and Bill Murray had no synergy together. Oh and Jeff Goldblum played a creepy adversarial figure ... big stretch. To this day I STILL don't understand what the point of this fool movie was, and I am still angry that we wasted one of our precious few nights out being tortured by it.
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Dodgeball has to be the worst closely followed by Blades of Glory.
Andrew I wish I had thought of the lifetime movie channel block. My wife loves those. She is not too bad about accusing me of what she sees on those but let her watch Oprah or Dr. Phil and I am getting a call - "Are you...???" My response now is always - what are you watching.
I'm watching The Next Karate Kid right now. It isn't very good at all. I was happy to leave it on in the background while I'm doing housework but then the 'Zen bowling' part happened and I nearly cringed myself inside out.
Anything Uwe Boll does.
He has graced us with such masterpieces of awful as "Bloodrayne" and "House of the Dead."
P.S. Nothing But Trouble is stupid, but it is funny. ;)
And Fifth Element?? Come on! That movie was all kinds of awesome!
So true. Bloodrayne even has a suckquel out now I think.
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The Cube.
90 minutes of mind numbing stupidity, with the plot of 'some secret conspiracy built this entire fortress thing as some kind of experiment. Maybe. Becasue we're not telling you.
OK, so the plot was a little thin, but the traps were the focus of the movie and they were awesome. I adapted some of them for my campaign.
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I'm surprised nobody has mentioned Snakes on a Plane.
That movie was so dumb, that it was awesome. I saw it on opening day. I'm pretty sure I lost a good deal of brain cells. And it was totally worth it.
"Everybody listen! We have to put a barrier between us and the snakes!"
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Worst Movie Ever:
The Muppet Wizard of Oz
Oh c'mon. That movie is funny. And at the number 4 on your list me and my friend laught so hard we almost couldnät breath.
Funny? Well, humour is subjective, I guess. We had a room full of people who were absolutely disgusted. Most of them left. Even the ones who tried to stick it out started fast forwarding through trying to find something redeemable and reached the end without finding anything remotely watchable.
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Battlefield Earth.
This movie was so bad, I'm embarrassed for people to know I read the book, or even know the title.
My IQ dropped ten points after reading that book. I'm serious. Not sure if they're correlated, or if it was just the test, but it makes a good story.
Anyway, SciFi Channel's "Baal: the Storm God" and "Haunted Boat" were pretty dumb. And don't get me started on their "Giant Reptile Movies".
- Boa
- Python
- Anaconda III (with David Hasselhoff)
- Boa vs. Python
- Boa vs. Python II
- Anaconda vs. Boa vs. Python
- Killer Croc
- Dino Croc
- Lake Placid II
- Lake Placid III
- Mega Snake (featuring Michael Shanks and *Feedback*)
- Basilisk
- Fire Serpent
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OK, so the plot was a little thin, but the traps were the focus of the movie and they were awesome. I adapted some of them for my campaign.The Cube.
90 minutes of mind numbing stupidity, with the plot of 'some secret conspiracy built this entire fortress thing as some kind of experiment. Maybe. Becasue we're not telling you.
Yeah, and it had David Hewlett. You just can't beat McKay.
Hmmm...lets see:
Dude, Where's My Car? (No, haven't seen it...the previews alone were enough to convince me that I'd fall into a coma if I tried to sink my mind down to the level at which the jokes in this movie were funny.)
X-Men 3 (Way to take what could have been the best superhero movie trilogy of all time and toss it in the toilet. There are so many things wrong with this movie I could devote an entire thread to it.)
Neverending Story (Ugh...just, ugh.)
The DaVinci Code (Again, I haven't seen the movie, but movies are always worse than the books that inspired them, and the book was stupid, therefore the movie must be abysmally stupid by comparison.)
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I must, however, give SciFi channel props for some truly entertaining movies. Namely:
- Highlander: The Source (low production values didn't really even dampen the feeling of this continuation of the original Highlander TV show)
- Eye of the Beast (yeah, it had that guy from "Dawson's Creek", but he was actually decent)
- Stan Lee's Lightspeed (campy, but nearly a perfect cinematic copy of the comic)
Micheal Crichton's >Timeline<
Plot: A group of archaeological students become trapped in the past when they go there to retrieve their professor.
The >book< was rather good. The movie, dumb Dumb DUMB.
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Worst Movie Ever:
The Muppet Wizard of Oz
This putrid mass is simply chock-full of horribleness. You think combining two classics like the Muppets and the The Wizard of Oz, you couldn't fail, right? Oh somehow they found a way. Let me just point out the top highlights.
*snip*
Wow. I want to see this.
I have heard those Lifetime channel movies mentioned here and there, and would like to see some shining examples of those too.
My wife likes to watch Lifetime Movie Network CONSTANTLY - I can't remember the specifics - I block them out, lest I find myself jibbering like a victim from a Lovecraft story - it suffices to say that if you made movies with titles like: 'I hate men' or 'men are pigs' you would have the jist of them all
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The Cube.
90 minutes of mind numbing stupidity, with the plot of 'some secret conspiracy built this entire fortress thing as some kind of experiment. Maybe. Becasue we're not telling you.
I loved The Cube. It reminded me of some of the early D&D deathtrap dungeons.
The most stupid movie I ever saw was The Sweetest Thing. A reviewer said it made a concussion look good. After viewing it, I have to say that was being generous.
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Anyway, SciFi Channel's "Baal: the Storm God" and "Haunted Boat" were pretty dumb. And don't get me started on their "Giant Reptile Movies".
- Boa
- Python
- Anaconda III (with David Hasselhoff)
- Boa vs. Python
- Boa vs. Python II
- Anaconda vs. Boa vs. Python
- Killer Croc
- Dino Croc
- Lake Placid II
- Lake Placid III
- Mega Snake (featuring Michael Shanks and *Feedback*)
- Basilisk
- Fire Serpent
The worst thing is, I have seen every one of those except Killer Croc, Mega Snake, Dino Croc, and Basilisk.
But I have seen (off the top of my head):
- Teenage Space Vampires
- Sasquatch Hunters
- Route 666
- Frankenfish
- Mammoth
- Deep Shock
- Attack of the Sabretooth
- Alligator
- Alligator 2
- The Curse of King Tut's Tomb
- Faust: Love of the Damned (pretty funny, but still awful)
- Dracula 3000
- Space Mutiny
- Ice Pirates
- Raging Sharks (starring Stargate's own Corin Nemec)
But the inexcusably worst movie I have ever seen, and as demonstrated I have seen many, is Deep Blue Sea. Nothing redeems this utter schlock. Just check the director's resume...since around 1995 he has made nothing but unwatchable movies.
cabin boy rocked! you're a silly doodoohead :PSo many dumb movies its tough to remember them all. Here's a short list of some of the worst:
Mars Attacks
Cabin Boy
Cannibal Women in the Avacado Jungle of Death
Cutthroat Island
Spy Kids trilogy
Cupcake: Now I know what you're thinking. "What could be stranger than a big fatass floatin' cupcake?" Heh. How about one that spits tobacco?
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Hmmm...lets see:
Dude, Where's My Car? (No, haven't seen it...the previews alone were enough to convince me that I'd fall into a coma if I tried to sink my mind down to the level at which the jokes in this movie were funny.)
X-Men 3 (Way to take what could have been the best superhero movie trilogy of all time and toss it in the toilet. There are so many things wrong with this movie I could devote an entire thread to it.)
Neverending Story (Ugh...just, ugh.)
The DaVinci Code (Again, I haven't seen the movie, but movies are always worse than the books that inspired them, and the book was stupid, therefore the movie must be abysmally stupid by comparison.)
I thought The Da Vinci was actually pretty good, and the ending, thinking about it a couple years later, is actually better than the book's (no resolution in the novel, no denouement).
I also enjoyed The Neverending Story.
There're only a couple of films I've actually walked out of:
Popeye
Dungeons & Dragons (And yes, I'd been warned a dozen times)
Or would never watch again:
That Bill Murray deep sea vehicle someone has already mentioned
That film with Sandra Bullock and Ben Affleck
The new German zombie movie: Virus Undead or something like that.
- Anaconda III (with David Hasselhoff)
There is such a movie? Darn, all these great turkeys out there...
Cube was fun (if indeed not particularly deep).
Mars Attacks was stupid in a good way too.
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The dumbest movies ever made are anything by the Wayans Brothers.
Plus: Superhero Movie, Epic Movie, Disaster Movie, Meet the Spartans etc
Oh and the Scary Movie series are unfunny crap as well.
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The dumbest movies ever made are anything by the Wayans Brothers.
Plus: Superhero Movie, Epic Movie, Disaster Movie, Meet the Spartans etc
Oh and the Scary Movie series are unfunny crap as well.
To be fair "I'm Gonna Git You Sucka" was a Wayans brothers movie and still quite funny. Who doesn't love a parody of Blaxploitation films?
On the sci-fi movie kick though, I'm surprised Mansquito or Ice Spiders or Pterodactyl (starring Coolio!) haven't been mentioned yet
I thought The Da Vinci was actually pretty good, and the ending, thinking about it a couple years later, is actually better than the book's (no resolution in the novel, no denouement).
I also enjoyed The Neverending Story.
My main problem with the book, which is likely the case in the movie, is that the two main characters are an ivy league professor of symbology, the paragon in his field, and a cryptographer from Interpol. Yet I was pages ahead of both of them through the entire novel. I'm sitting there waiting for them to finish scratching their heads over what was a fairly simple thing to puzzle out. The final straw for my suspension of disbelief when they couldn't make out the inscription on the little puzzle-box or whatever it was, and the professor was talking about it possibly being some type of Sanskrit.
As for the Neverending Story, its one of those movies that a lot of people like, but I just couldn't get into. The low points are the fluffy doggy-dragon and the theme music that had me wanting to poke out my eardrums with bbq skewers. If I'm looking for nostalgia from an 80s fantasy movie, I'll stick with Labyrinth.
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I have the unique distinction of being the only person on earth who really enjoyed Highlander II. Mostly because it was fun -- it did for the orginal film what Airplane did for disaster movies. I loved the first movie -- so what's not to love about a spoof? Part 3 just made me shake my head sadly; it's a perfect example of people taking themselves WAY too seriously.
Dumbest movie ever? Has anyone seen Sliver? Sharon Stone exhibits all the erotic appeal (and acting ability) of a blow-up novelty doll.
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We walked out after about 45 minutes. The plot was nonsensical, the cinematography was lame and Owen Wilson and Bill Murray had no synergy together. Oh and Jeff Goldblum played a creepy adversarial figure ... big stretch. To this day I STILL don't understand what the point of this fool movie was, and I am still angry that we wasted one of our precious few nights out being tortured by it.
Interestingly enough, this is on my list of favourite movies. Wes Anderson's movies are not for everyone, though, I agree. They're very polarizing. It seems lots of people love them and lots of others hate them.
As for my worst movie, I'm going to go with From Justin to Kelly. I don't know who the genius was that thought that the winner and runner-up of American Idol could hold up an entire feature film, but they probably lost their job after this movie. Even the title of this movie is horrible.
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So many dumb movies its tough to remember them all. Here's a short list of some of the worst:
Mars Attacks
Cabin Boy
Cannibal Women in the Avacado Jungle of Death
Cutthroat Island
Spy Kids trilogy
Meh. I have to forgive Mars Attacks- I have a soft spot for both cheesy sci-fi movies, and parodies of cheesy sci-fi movies. And Natalie Portman.
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The dumbest movies ever made are anything by the Wayans Brothers.
Plus: Superhero Movie, Epic Movie, Disaster Movie, Meet the Spartans etc
Oh and the Scary Movie series are unfunny crap as well.
To be fair "I'm Gonna Git You Sucka" was a Wayans brothers movie and still quite funny. Who doesn't love a parody of Blaxploitation films?
On the sci-fi movie kick though, I'm surprised Mansquito or Ice Spiders or Pterodactyl (starring Coolio!) haven't been mentioned yet
God. Ice Spiders. I blocked that one out of my memory.
Mansquito was OK- mainly because of Corin Nemec (Daniel Jackson 2.0). And that one hot chick.
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The dumbest movies ever made are anything by the Wayans Brothers.
Plus: Superhero Movie, Epic Movie, Disaster Movie, Meet the Spartans etc
Oh and the Scary Movie series are unfunny crap as well.
GOD F###ING DAMMIT! *hate radiates from body*
KILL THE WAYANS BROTHERS!
AND BE SURE TO SODOMIZE MARLON WAYANS WITH A CACTUS IN RETALIATION FOR DUNGEONS AND DRAGONS MOVIE!
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Anyway, SciFi Channel's "Baal: the Storm God" and "Haunted Boat" were pretty dumb. And don't get me started on their "Giant Reptile Movies".
- Boa
- Python
- Anaconda III (with David Hasselhoff)
- Boa vs. Python
- Boa vs. Python II
- Anaconda vs. Boa vs. Python
- Killer Croc
- Dino Croc
- Lake Placid II
- Lake Placid III
- Mega Snake (featuring Michael Shanks and *Feedback*)
- Basilisk
- Fire SerpentThe worst thing is, I have seen every one of those except Killer Croc, Mega Snake, Dino Croc, and Basilisk.
But I have seen (off the top of my head):
- Teenage Space Vampires
- Sasquatch Hunters
- Route 666
- Frankenfish
- Mammoth
- Deep Shock
- Attack of the Sabretooth
- Alligator
- Alligator 2
- The Curse of King Tut's Tomb
- Faust: Love of the Damned (pretty funny, but still awful)
- Dracula 3000
- Space Mutiny
- Ice Pirates
- Raging Sharks (starring Stargate's own Corin Nemec)But the inexcusably worst movie I have ever seen, and as demonstrated I have seen many, is Deep Blue Sea. Nothing redeems this utter schlock. Just check the director's resume...since around 1995 he has made nothing but unwatchable movies.
I have seen every single one of those movies, and yeah, I'm totally with you on all counts.
I mean, come on, Coolio as space vampire? Who the F**% thinks of these things?
