Where did he land? I can't look.
she looks rather ill
I need a drink. Grabs a Dark and Stormy and chugs it.
Okay, I feel better now.
And thanks for the welcome, Callous Jack.2 more and you get a t-shirt!
Jack Hammer proudly displays his Dark and Stormy Knight™ t-shirt, with an ACE emblem on the right shoulder
37 minutes to go before the hour is up.
Shall we follow up with Rocketman?Heheh! Good one dread lord.*watches the thief fly* *starts singing David Bowie's Space Oddity**joins in and then sings Tom Petty's Learning to Fly*
You can't really. By then the thief has already splatted on the ground.
37 minutes to go before the hour is up.Where did he land? I can't look.
she looks rather ill
I need a drink. Grabs a Dark and Stormy and chugs it.
Okay, I feel better now.
And thanks for the welcome, Callous Jack.2 more and you get a t-shirt!
Jack Hammer proudly displays his Dark and Stormy Knight™ t-shirt, with an ACE emblem on the right shoulder
Jack Hammer is confused by the invisi-postings, but sees that the priestess is passed out after only 3 Dark and Stormies. But, she has finished them and not thrown up. Pretty good for such a tiny thing. She has earned the t-shirt, but no ACE badge. It is good that she will have a shirt for the mandatory Jacks wet t-shirt contest on Saturday nights. (Did I remember to tell her about that?, he ponders.) Unfortunately, since she has passed out, she has also earned a tattoo.
Jacks, we must confer. The priestess has passed out from drinking and has thus earned a tattoo. What shall it be? We must decide before she wakes.
*Watches CJ launch into the distance*
You know, I get airsick, so I better get going before you cram me in there. So long, folks!
*Leaves through door, shocking everyone*
*Watches CJ launch into the distance*
You know, I get airsick, so I better get going before you cram me in there. So long, folks!
*Leaves through door, shocking everyone*
Wow. Scared straight?
Wow. Scared straight?
*Leans in through window*
No, I just wanted to see the look on your faces.
*Runs away*
Jack Hammer is confused by the invisi-postings, but sees that the priestess is passed out after only 3 Dark and Stormies. But, she has finished them and not thrown up. Pretty good for such a tiny thing. She has earned the t-shirt, but no ACE badge. It is good that she will have a shirt for the mandatory Jacks wet t-shirt contest on Saturday nights. (Did I remember to tell her about that?, he ponders.) Unfortunately, since she has passed out, she has also earned a tattoo.
Jacks, we must confer. The priestess has passed out from drinking and has thus earned a tattoo. What shall it be? We must decide before she wakes.
Difficult to say. Maybe a picture of a Jack? A better question would be is where to put the tattoo.
Wow. Scared straight?*Leans in through window*
No, I just wanted to see the look on your faces.
*Runs away*
The Masked Rouge starts to run away but is mesmerized by how white the sand is in the Jack's game court and the smell of bourbon.
He is so transfixed that he doesn't hear Jack Hammer approaching, quietly humming Maxwell's Silver Hammer by the Beatles
Difficult to say. Maybe a picture of a Jack? A better question would be is where to put the tattoo.Jack Hammer is confused by the invisi-postings, but sees that the priestess is passed out after only 3 Dark and Stormies. But, she has finished them and not thrown up. Pretty good for such a tiny thing. She has earned the t-shirt, but no ACE badge. It is good that she will have a shirt for the mandatory Jacks wet t-shirt contest on Saturday nights. (Did I remember to tell her about that?, he ponders.) Unfortunately, since she has passed out, she has also earned a tattoo.
Jacks, we must confer. The priestess has passed out from drinking and has thus earned a tattoo. What shall it be? We must decide before she wakes.
Well, she is wearing a bikini. A Jack stamp perhaps?
Wheee! Bourbon! Sand! I don't like the sand, but the bourbon makes up for it! I'm probably going to have my head bashed in with a mattock made of improperly soft metal, but who cares! Bourbon!
Wheee! Bourbon! Sand! I don't like the sand, but the bourbon makes up for it! I'm probably going to have my head bashed in with a mattock made of improperly soft metal, but who cares! Bourbon!
Jack Hammer whacks the thief with bad taste - actually thinking that demon bourbon is good. He hits softly (for a golem) with his adamantium hammer so as to avoid killing the feeble creature, and knocks him cold.
Got another one for the launcher! But we have to wait 'til he wakes up before we let go of the net.
Wheee! Bourbon! Sand! I don't like the sand, but the bourbon makes up for it! I'm probably going to have my head bashed in with a mattock made of improperly soft metal, but who cares! Bourbon!Jack Hammer whacks the thief with bad taste - actually thinking that demon bourbon is good. He hits softly (for a golem) with his adamantium hammer so as to avoid killing the feeble creature, and knocks him cold.
Got another one for the launcher! But we have to wait 'til he wakes up before we let go of the net.
Aim him towards the thieves guild. That way he doesn't have to do any walking to get back home.
Well, she is wearing a bikini. A Jack stamp perhaps?Difficult to say. Maybe a picture of a Jack? A better question would be is where to put the tattoo.Jack Hammer is confused by the invisi-postings, but sees that the priestess is passed out after only 3 Dark and Stormies. But, she has finished them and not thrown up. Pretty good for such a tiny thing. She has earned the t-shirt, but no ACE badge. It is good that she will have a shirt for the mandatory Jacks wet t-shirt contest on Saturday nights. (Did I remember to tell her about that?, he ponders.) Unfortunately, since she has passed out, she has also earned a tattoo.
Jacks, we must confer. The priestess has passed out from drinking and has thus earned a tattoo. What shall it be? We must decide before she wakes.
That would work.
That would work.Well, she is wearing a bikini. A Jack stamp perhaps?Difficult to say. Maybe a picture of a Jack? A better question would be is where to put the tattoo.Jack Hammer is confused by the invisi-postings, but sees that the priestess is passed out after only 3 Dark and Stormies. But, she has finished them and not thrown up. Pretty good for such a tiny thing. She has earned the t-shirt, but no ACE badge. It is good that she will have a shirt for the mandatory Jacks wet t-shirt contest on Saturday nights. (Did I remember to tell her about that?, he ponders.) Unfortunately, since she has passed out, she has also earned a tattoo.
Jacks, we must confer. The priestess has passed out from drinking and has thus earned a tattoo. What shall it be? We must decide before she wakes.
Should we be nice and make it a temporary one? She is a newbie.
Should we be nice and make it a temporary one? She is a newbie.That would work.Well, she is wearing a bikini. A Jack stamp perhaps?Difficult to say. Maybe a picture of a Jack? A better question would be is where to put the tattoo.Jack Hammer is confused by the invisi-postings, but sees that the priestess is passed out after only 3 Dark and Stormies. But, she has finished them and not thrown up. Pretty good for such a tiny thing. She has earned the t-shirt, but no ACE badge. It is good that she will have a shirt for the mandatory Jacks wet t-shirt contest on Saturday nights. (Did I remember to tell her about that?, he ponders.) Unfortunately, since she has passed out, she has also earned a tattoo.
Jacks, we must confer. The priestess has passed out from drinking and has thus earned a tattoo. What shall it be? We must decide before she wakes.
Yeah, we should go easy on her.
*Kittens fly in*
Jacks, get ready for action. We have Kittens on the war path.
*Kittens fly in*
What do you want Kitten Vikings?
Enters Stage Left with Acme Robot trailing behind.
Hey guys, what's going on? I turned around and everyone took off from the SunnyG thread. We having Happy Hour here?
*Glares at Jacks*
We want to leave this place. Unfortunately, we cannot. We have reason to believe that my greataxe is here. Stolen from the thieves, who stole it from me. Um...give it here.
Really, why bother? Everyone knows what the ape does. Just picture it in your minds. You'll be cleaning smashed kitten out of the house for a week at least. Continue on with Jack-business as usual. Invading cats, dealt with.
WOOOOOOO-OOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
*BEEP*
Heads for the wet bar
Really, why bother? Everyone knows what the ape does. Just picture it in your minds. You'll be cleaning smashed kitten out of the house for a week at least. Continue on with Jack-business as usual. Invading cats, dealt with.
WOOOOOOO-OOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
*Yawns as ape tosses in his sleep*
By teh way, I'd tell that ape not to attack us, if I were you. We can make this worth your while.
Hooting laughter as the cat imagines that its jaw still works in its delirium of pain.
RAOWR!
Really, why bother? Everyone knows what the ape does. Just picture it in your minds. You'll be cleaning smashed kitten out of the house for a week at least. Continue on with Jack-business as usual. Invading cats, dealt with.
WOOOOOOO-OOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!*Yawns as ape tosses in his sleep*
By teh way, I'd tell that ape not to attack us, if I were you. We can make this worth your while.
As much as we'd like to help *cough*, I'm afraid we don't have the weapon. We've raided the thieves on many occasions and we've never picked up an axe.
Hooting laughter as the cat imagines that its jaw still works in its delirium of pain.
RAOWR!
Hey! Leave the representative alone, or we're leaving! You have no idea what we offer! Call of the damn bonobo!!!
As much as we'd like to help *cough*, I'm afraid we don't have the weapon. We've raided the thieves on many occasions and we've never picked up an axe.Really, why bother? Everyone knows what the ape does. Just picture it in your minds. You'll be cleaning smashed kitten out of the house for a week at least. Continue on with Jack-business as usual. Invading cats, dealt with.
WOOOOOOO-OOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!*Yawns as ape tosses in his sleep*
By teh way, I'd tell that ape not to attack us, if I were you. We can make this worth your while.
Are you certain? This is terrible news.
Pauses in mid-Apocatlypse, waiting for a sign from the Jack.
*groans and tries to open her eyes*
Whuz wiv all teh yelling?
Hey! Leave the representative alone, or we're leaving! You have no idea what we offer! Call of the damn bonobo!!!Hooting laughter as the cat imagines that its jaw still works in its delirium of pain.
RAOWR!
Calm down, Jackin' Ape. I've got this under control. *whispers to Jackin Ape* Stay close just in case.
Bribes work. As long as it's good bourbon.Is this supposed to be some sort of bribe?since the birds are no fun here you can have the gift I got em
Leaves crate of endless bottles of bourbon
Fiendishly good even
Are you certain? This is terrible news.As much as we'd like to help *cough*, I'm afraid we don't have the weapon. We've raided the thieves on many occasions and we've never picked up an axe.Really, why bother? Everyone knows what the ape does. Just picture it in your minds. You'll be cleaning smashed kitten out of the house for a week at least. Continue on with Jack-business as usual. Invading cats, dealt with.
WOOOOOOO-OOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!*Yawns as ape tosses in his sleep*
By teh way, I'd tell that ape not to attack us, if I were you. We can make this worth your while.
Yes, I'm certain.
Drops kittens, eats Demonic Tribble guy.
BUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUURP!
Yes, I'm certain.Are you certain? This is terrible news.As much as we'd like to help *cough*, I'm afraid we don't have the weapon. We've raided the thieves on many occasions and we've never picked up an axe.Really, why bother? Everyone knows what the ape does. Just picture it in your minds. You'll be cleaning smashed kitten out of the house for a week at least. Continue on with Jack-business as usual. Invading cats, dealt with.
WOOOOOOO-OOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!*Yawns as ape tosses in his sleep*
By teh way, I'd tell that ape not to attack us, if I were you. We can make this worth your while.
Then who the hell has it?
*Goes back to thieves' guild*
A horrible, low rumbling is heard from Jackin Ape's tummy. It continues and grows in volume. The ape gets a funny look on its face.
*tries to sit up and fails*
Can someone get my Lipstick of Sobriety from my bag? she asks weakly
*tries to sit up and fails*
Can someone get my Lipstick of Sobriety from my bag? she asks weakly
Here ya go, Lynora. *hands magical item to Lynora*
A horrible, low rumbling is heard from Jackin Ape's tummy. It continues and grows in volume. The ape gets a funny look on its face.
Uh-oh! I hope this isn't what I think it is.
Here ya go, Lynora. *hands magical item to Lynora**tries to sit up and fails*
Can someone get my Lipstick of Sobriety from my bag? she asks weakly
Thanks.
*gets lipstick to mouth on the third try, sits up*Umm, what's wrong with that very large monkey?
*Groggily wakes up*
Whu... did someone say something say something about kitten vikings? I got this axe to return to 'em
*Holds up axe*
I... better go return it!
*Slams flat side of axe into Jack's head, then runs*
Fiendish indegestion?
Here ya go, Lynora. *hands magical item to Lynora**tries to sit up and fails*
Can someone get my Lipstick of Sobriety from my bag? she asks weaklyThanks.
*gets lipstick to mouth on the third try, sits up*
Umm, what's wrong with that very large monkey?
I think there is going to be a very large release of gas. It would be wise of us to vacant the area.
Suddenly, the ape bolts from the house and goes running across the property. He sprints with painful purpose, as if driven by an anguish both of intestines and of fateful knowledge. When he reaches the end of the property line, he aims his nether region away from the Jack estate. There is a sound, somewhere in between the blast of dynamite and the sounding of a supertanker's foghorn. A pressurized blast of sulfuric fury, aimed at some thread hated by the gods, receives a horrific fate.
The ape limps to the water tank at the far side of the property, behind the mews. He dips his lower half down into the water, which sizzles and pops for the next hour. A malorific odor lingers in the vicinity, but the blast of wind from the Place of the Winds on the opposite side of the estate keeps the fumes from reaching the manse.
Trips rogue with metal leg
*BEEP!*
Someone nab that rogue!
Someone nab that rogue!
I wouldn't. The kittens are about to fight him, and I want to know who wins.
*Groggily wakes up*
Whu... did someone say something say something about kitten vikings? I got this axe to return to 'em
*Holds up axe*I... better go return it!
*Slams flat side of axe into Jack's head, then runs*
Jack Hammer grabs hold of the now-awake thief and shoves him the net.
Here, hold this! shoving the bent axe into his hands
Pulling the net back until it would seem to burst he launches the thief in the direction of the kittens and their eagles
One meal to go Kitties!
Hey, lynora-Jill! I never realized that you were so eager to join our cult that you would get a tattoo of CJ. HOT!